WWF Superstars 3/9/1991
Written by: Tom Hopkins
Piper is using crutches, thanks to a spill off a dirt bike. I believe he still had those crutches at Wrestlemania.
-Hart Foundation vs. Pete Sanchez & John Martin-
Bret gives his glasses to a fan at ringside with the mother saying thank you to Bret. That was nice of her. I wonder if she still has those glasses? Sanchez starts with the Anvil and Sanchez tries a shoulderblock, only to fail miserably. Sanchez goes off the ropes and Bret knees him in the back. Bret comes in with a dropkick and allows Sanchez to tag in Martin. Martin walks right into an atomic drop and a clothesline as the Nasty Boys cut a pre-recorded promo (“First we took your manager, then we’ll take your belts!”). The Hart Attack finishes this at 2:21. I love watching the Harts work. This must’ve been one of their last televised matches before Wrestlemania and probably one of their last tag matches ever. *.
We head to Gene and a Wrestlemania Update and this focuses on the DiBiase/Virgil match-up and comments from DiBiase saying that a one-legged Piper will be ineffective.
-The Mountie vs. Danny Brazil-
Mountie pushes the Brazil into the corner and shouts at him, “I’m The Mountie!” Mountie will be wrestling Tito Santana at Wrestlemania and we hear from Tito about his upcoming match. Mountie hits a version of the Boss Man Slam and uses his devastating nerve pinch finisher to end this at 1:23. That was a ridiculous finisher that I don’t think he was ever able to use on a real star. DUD. He handcuffs Brazil, shouts at him and then shocks him.
Mean Gene is at Toys R’ Us to shill some WWE merchandise. Gene runs into the Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Duggan trades cards with Gene Okerlund.
Let’s go to the Event Center! Demolition cuts a promo against the Orient Express (and they call them Sumo wrestlers?), we hear from Warlord (w/Slick) and his WM opponent, British Bulldog.
-Big Boss Man vs. Brooklyn Brawler-
Brawler attacks from behind but Boss Man recovers quickly and sends him to the ropes. Brawler holds onto them and bails to the outside and Boss Man follows with a punch to the face. Boss Man hits a sidewalk slam once inside the ring and butt splashes him over the ropes. That’s one of his trademarks. Boss Man follows with an elbow as McMahon interviews Heenan and Perfect. Perfect states that to be a champion you must be perfect. Can’t argue with that. Boss Man Slam finishes this at 1:31. ½*.
Gene Okerlund brings out Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan for another interview and this time they are carrying a Hulk shirt on a pole. The fans burst out into a USA chant. Slaughter burns the Hogan shirt in effigy. You’d think they just burned an American flag the way Okerlund and McMahon reacted.
-Superfly Jimmy Snuka vs. -
Superfly looks a lot different now than he used to when he worked in the 80’s. He has pants on, a goatee and he’s wearing boots. The jobber gets a quick cross body on Jimmy for two and suplexes him. The jobber heads upstairs but he’s tossed off as we hear from the Undertaker. He predicts he will not only beat Superfly but will remain undefeated at Wrestlemania into the next millennium. Wow, that’s some amazing foresight. Jimmy piledrives the jobber for the pinfall at 1:34. No Superfly splash? This guy was clearly past his prime at this point. DUD.
Martel has some comments for Roberts, and Roberts has some comments for Martel. Hogan is also pissed at Slaughter for burning his shirt. We hear from Macho King and Ultimate Warrior, as well as the fake Queen again. Gene-o runs down the card as well as the celebs that will be there, including Marla Maples, who is looking forward to the show.
-Haku & Barbarian vs. Randy Hunter & Dale Wolfe-
Haku starts with one of them, I don’t know which jobber is which and Haku clotheslines him down. The Rockers cut a promo and Shawn promises a frontal lobotomy. Barbarian comes in and chokes the poor jobber. Haku gets booted in the fact and this allows the other jobber to come in. He controls for about 10 seconds before a thumb to the eye. Barbarian suplexes the second jobber and hits a backbreaker. Their finisher is actually pretty neat. Barbarian atomic drops the jobber and keeps him on his knee allowing Haku to superkick him for the pin. That ended the match at 3:21. ½*.
Mooney brings us to the event center with comments from Greg Valentine and Earthquake (w/Jimmy Hart). We run down the card for next week as we look forward to a Hulk Hogan interview.
-The Bottom Line- This was hit or miss. The squashes were either okay, or terrible. The Slaughter interview was just irritating, though, and since that took up a main portion of the show I don’t think it’s one that can be recommended. Unless of course you love Slaughter.