Written By: Bob Colling
Total Non-Stop Action presents Impact
Date: March 29th, 2010
From: Orlando, Florida
Announcers: Mike Tenay and Tazz
A video highlighting what happened last week is shown. Jarrett vs. Foley retirement match is highlighted.
“V for Vigilante”
Backstage, Jeff Jarrett is in Hulk Hogan’s office. Hogan apologizes to Jarrett for Eric Bischoff’s actions. Hogan tells Jarrett that he has a great deal of respect for him. Hogan tells Jarrett that if he beats AJ Styles tonight, he will be the number one contender for the title after Lockdown. Jay Lethal walks into the room and wants to fill in Hulk Hogan tonight. Hogan does a Savage voice and accepts Lethal to take his spot tonight. They shake on it.
TNA opening video
The Band’s music hits and Bubba the Love Sponge walks out with Scott Hall, Kevin Nash and Syxx-Pac. The fans are wanting Bubba to be fired, and are making that very clear. Bubba calls the fans “marks”. Bubba puts himself over as not needing this job in TNA because he is a successful radio host. He says that the Band understand what he is all about. Bubba tells Christy Hemme and Jeremy Borash that they do not have any right to interview the Band. Kevin Nash grabs the microphone and says that he didn’t want to gloat about beating Eric Young, thus they weren’t on Impact last week. Nash calls Eric Young out to apologize to Eric Young. Young comes out, without music, to a decent reaction. Nash says that he and Eric are friends and what he did was business and not personal. Nash wants Eric Young to join the Band. Nash says in order for that to happen, the main event isn’t going to happen. Nash says that RVD and Jeff Hardy are not in their league. Nash does the Wolfpac sign and waits for Young to accept. Instead, Young hits Nash with a right hand and follows up with a few shots on Pac and Hall. Young grabs Bubba and is beaten down by the Band. Hall, Nash and Pac all get some shots in. RVD and Jeff Hardy run down and clear the Band and Bubba out of the ring. Hardy has a microphone and says that they are ready for the match right now. Hardy makes the match the main event for tonight. Hardy lastly says that in honor of Lockdown the match will take place in a CAGE! Hardy proceeds to sing his theme song as we go to commercial.
Opening Contest: Shannon Moore/Kazarian defeated TNA X-Division Champion Doug Williams/Brian Kendrick: Kendrick blew right by Williams before the match, so this could be a hint that something is going to go down. Moore working on Williams in the corner before tagging in Kaz. Kaz with a spinning heel kick on Williams and a scoop slam. Kaz with a slingshot leg drop for a near fall. Williams takes Kaz down and tags in Kendrick who is arm dragged down by Kaz. Kaz sends Kendrick hard back first into the corner and connects with a dropkick in the corner. The referee avoids Kaz from delivering a running attack. Williams clotheslines Kaz which allows Kendrick to work on Kaz. Williams with a head scissors and rams Kaz into the mat. Kendrick chokes Kaz in the corner for a few moments. Kendrick with several cross face shots on Kaz. Kaz and Kendrick collide in the ring and both men are down. Moore and Williams get tagged into the match. Moore with a dropkick and spin kick on Williams and Kendrick. Williams misses a knee in the corner. Moore with a hurricanrana on Williams and almost picks up the win. Kaz with a German suplex on Kendrick as Moore hit’s a spinning heel kick. Williams runs into a double boot from Moore. Kendrick tags in and is met with a rolling neck breaker off the middle rope. Moore covers Kendrick and picks up the win. **½
After the match, Shannon Moore signals he is coming for Doug Williams. Moore puts makeup on the face of Kendrick. Moore has put several X’s on the face of Kendrick.
Backstage, Eric Bischoff is on the phone and is wondering if the person is joking around with whatever he said. Bischoff has a new secretary named Ms. Tessmocker Bischoff wants her to keep Jay Lethal away from him. Lethal walks into the room and says that Bischoff can be apart of the Mega Powers if he plays his cards right. Lethal gives Bischoff the card for the show, which includes several wrestlers from the 1980’s. Lethal goes to figure out the main event (which is already announced). Bischoff tells his secretary to get Beer Money.
D’Angelo Dinero’s music hits and Dinero makes his way down to the ring to a somewhat decent reaction. Dinero brings up Lockdown which is on April 18th live on pay per view. Dinero has been dreaming about this moment for this entire career. Dinero says that has been jeopardized by Ric Flair and AJ Styles. Dinero says that Flair needs to grow up as he isn’t the Nature Boy anymore. Dinero claims to be the daylight of TNA. Dinero continues by saying he is going to take Styles to the outer limits. Dinero tells Styles that he will never be D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero declares that the Pope has not only arrived but is also pimpin! Chelsea makes her way out and Dinero checks her out in the ring. Dinero asks what he can do for her. Chelsea begins to flirt with Dinero and says that she has gotten everything she has ever gotten. Chelsea says that she has always wanted to be a hoe and wants Dinero to help that come true. Dinero asks her if she knows how to drive a stick? Chelsea says that she is a real quick learner and touches Dinero’s groin. Desmond Wolfe tries to attack from behind, but Dinero know that was coming and punches Wolfe to the floor. Dinero grabs Chelsea and kisses her and then simply drops her to the mat.
Backstage, TNA Knockouts Champion Tara is walking to the ring.
A video of Samoa Joe quivering is shown. Joe says that “they have spoken and the results will be different”.
“Simply the greatest” is heard and we see Orlando Jordan coming down from the ceiling. Jordan has caution taped all over his body. Jordan crawls out of the ring and the announcers are baffled. Jordan walks over to a stage where there is a male and female sitting. Jordan sits down between them.
Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Tara. Tara says this is all about revenge because Daffney took Poison from here. Tara is going to make Daffney pay for doing that. Daffney comes out of nowhere and attacks Tara. Tara recovers and sends Daffney into a animal case and a cage door a few times.
Second Contest: Tara defeated Daffney in a first blood match to retain the TNA Knockouts Championship: Tara and Daffney battle to the ramp where Tara sends Daffney into some of the entrance set up. Daffney rams Tara into the stage and begins to bite the forehead of Daffney. Tara drops Daffney across her knee and delivers right hands right against Mike Tenay! Tara drags Daffney down the steps but is met with a few shots from Daffney. Daffney sends Tara into a platform and begins to choke Tara with the television cord. Daffney hits Tara with a broom a couple of times as Tara enters the ring. Daffney breaks the broom and has a sharp edge of the broom trying to bust Tara open. Tara avoids it and hit’s the Widows Peak. Tara hits Daffney with the tool box and Daffney has been busted open. *¼
After the match, Daffney enjoys that she has been busted open. Daffney begins to rub her blood into her mouth. Tara just stares at Daffney.
Backstage, AJ Styles and Ric Flair are making their way to the ring.
The same video that opened the show is shown again.
Third Contest: TNA World Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles defeated Jeff Jarrett in a non-title match: Styles takes Jarrett down with a arm drag to start the match. Styles with a snap mare as well and taunts Jarrett. Styles with a arm wrench but Jarrett gets one on as well briefly. Styles with a hip toss and again taunts Jarrett. Styles with a shoulder block but is tripped by Jarrett. Jarrett with a arm drag and hip toss. Jarrett with several right hands and a atomic drop and clotheslines Styles over the top to the floor. Jarrett does his strut, which angers Ric Flair. Styles regains control with right hands back in the ring and delivers a few chops in the corner. Styles misses a splash in the corner and is met with a leaping kick to the head from Jarrett. Jarrett covers and gets a two county. Styles with a knee breaker and begins to work on the knee of Jarrett. Styles drops a elbow and locks in the figure four. Flair wheels his way down and assists Styles by giving him his cane. Styles with more chops but misses a kick. Jarrett goes for the figure four and locks it in. Styles rolls over and Jarrett reaches the ropes. Flair gets involved again and is thrown out by Brian Hebner. Security comes out and forces Flair to the backstage area. Jarrett sends Styles back into the ring as we go to commercial. Styles has a headlock on Jarrett. During the break, Styles connected with a low blow and a slingshot dive on the floor. Styles blocks a sunset flip takedown by hitting Jarrett with a right hand. Styles connects with a knee drop to continue his offense. Styles locks in a chin lock in the middle of the ring. Jarrett battles out but is sent back down to the mat as Styles yanks on his hair. Styles with a few chops in the corner and locks in another chin lock. Jarrett manages to backdrop Styles down and follows up with clotheslines. Jarrett drives Styles down with a back suplex. Jarrett with a pedigree and gets a near fall. Jarrett leaps off the top but is stopped by Styles who slams Jarrett down. Styles with a springboard forearm smash and gets a two count. Styles goes for the Styles Clash but Jarrett reverses with a double leg slam. Both men are down in the ring as the referee begins to count. Ric Flair makes his way back out and is distracting the referee. Jarrett sends Styles into the referee who hits hard on the floor. Jarrett sends Styles had first into the ring post and hit’s a middle rope Stroke! Jarrett covers but their isn’t a referee. Eric Bischoff enters and tries to hit Jarrett with a guitar, but Jarrett stops him. Jarrett is met with a low blow from Styles. Styles with the Styles Clash and Bischoff wakes the referee up. Styles covers Jarrett and gets the three count. Styles cut his hand badly when he hit the ring post, it looks like. ***
Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Jeff Hardy, RVD and Eric Young. Young thanks Hardy and RVD for having his back earlier in the night. Young tells Nash that he is in the business for the right reasons while Nash is in the business for the wrong reasons. RVD says that the Band have been doing their stuff for far too long. Jeff Hardy talks about Hall and Nash have been trying to kick him down as he makes his way to the main event scene. Young wants Nash to ask himself “who traded up” when he looks at their partners.
Backstage, Jay Lethal stops Eric Bischoff and has the main event. Brutus Beefcake vs. Rick Martel. Bischoff tells Lethal that he should be in the main event tonight. Bischoff tells Lethal he will find out who he is facing, soon.
Fourth Contest: Jay Lethal defeated Beer Money in a handicap match: Lethal is double teamed in the early moments of the contest, as expected. Beer Money take Lethal down with a big back body drop. Lethal is sent into the ring steps shoulder first on the floor. Double snap suplex on Lethal and Beer Money play to the crowd. Lethal fights back with several right hands but is taken down with a swinging side slam by Roode. Storm grabs a beer and as he is not paying attention, Lethal rolls Roode up to pick up the win! *¼
After the match, Lethal drinks the beer as Beer Money are livid in the ring. We see Eric Bischoff not happy in his office.
Mike Tenay and Tazz discuss the brutal attack by Matt Morgan on his tag team partner, Hernandez. Tenay mentions that Hernandez hurt his neck during the attack. Tazz says we will hear from Matt Morgan next week.
Fifth Contest: Desmond Wolfe defeated D’Angelo Dinero: Wolfe with several elbow shots and takes Dinero down with a wrist lock. Dinero gets up and locks in a hammerlock but is met with a uppercut from Wolfe. Wolfe with a Indian death lock on Dinero, but is reversed by Dinero but Wolfe reaches the bottom rope. Wolfe with another uppercut and rams Dinero into the turnbuckle padding. Wolfe works on the arm of Dinero and delivers a few clubbing blows. Dinero with a series of axe handle shots and a running shoulder block. Dinero with a Thez Press and delivers several right hands. Wolfe misses a splash in the corner is knocked down with a open hand slap. Dinero with a springboard elbow drop in the corner. The referee is distracted by Chelsea. Dinero turns around is met with a shot with a steel chain from Wolfe. Wolfe covers Dinero and picks up the win. **¼
After the match, Chelsea is happy that her man beat Dinero.
The cage is set up, as Kurt Angle’s music hits. Angle walks down the ramp and enters the cage. Angle talks about Mr. Anderson setting his sights on Kurt Angle since joining TNA. Angle asks Mr. Anderson if he knows who Kurt Angle really is. Angle talks about being a Olympic Champion and winning while following the rules. Angle says that he lost control and assumes it was because of what Anderson has done. Spitting in his face, busting him open with his warrior tag, and disrespecting the troops. Angle says that at Lockdown it will be him and Mr. Anderson one more time. Angle says his hands will be covered with Mr. Anderson’s blood. Mr. Anderson’s music hits and shows up at the top of the ramp. Anderson says it is about time ha and Angle become “damn real”. Anderson says that their rivalry needs to end or they are going to die. Anderson talks about beating Angle and Angle beating him. Anderson says that they are 50-50. Anderson says that Bischoff came up to him in the backstage area. Anderson says that he has a match against Kurt Angle next week. Anderson announces that he and Angle will have a ladder match. Their will be a key, which will open up lock, which will open up the cage at Lockdown. Anderson admits that Angle is the better wrestler, better father, better son and better role model for the youth of America. Anderson says that Angle is a nice guy and “nice guys always finish last”. Anderson says “thank god, thank god, thank god I am a asshole”. Anderson walks away and soon Angle leaves as well. As Angle goes to walk up the ramp, the Band make their way down to the ring. Nash and Angle do the Wolfpac taunt as Tazz mentions that Nash and Angle were apart of the Main Event Mafia.
Main Event: Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy/Eric Young defeated The Band in a steel cage match: Pac slams the door into the face of Young to start the match. The Band work on RVD and Hardy on the entrance ramp. Pac with a standing spin kick as Nash works on Hardy in the ring. Hall sends RVD into the ring as well. Pac locks the cage door as Young crawls on the floor. RVD with right hand and kicks on Nash but is stopped with a knee from Nash. Pac chokes Hardy with his shirt and RVD is sent into the steel cage by Hall. Pac with the Bronco Buster on Hardy. RVD with a series of kicks on Nash as Hardy works away on Hall and Pac with right hands. Hardy with a power bomb on Pac as he attempted a hurricanrana. RVD with the rolling thunder on Pac and Hardy connects with a double leg drop. Hardy leaps off RVD’s back taking Hall out in the corner. Young climbs up the cage but Pac is trying to stop him on the top of the cage. RVD sends Pac off and crashes to the mat. The Band are laid out in the ring. Hardy with the Swanton Bomb on Nash. RVD with the Five Star Frog Splash on Hall. Young leaps off the top of the cage and lands on Pac. Young covers Pac and picks up the win. **½
After the match, the baby faces celebrate their win as we get several replays of the elbow drop.
Backstage, Christy Hemme is with Abyss. Abyss announces his first partner for Lethal Lockdown. Abyss talks about Sting being his mentor but now Sting is on the wrong side of things. Abyss introduces his partner, Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett says his issues with Bischoff have only just begun. Jarrett says that he is going to start getting involved in Ric Flair’s matches, and that will start at Lockdown. Jarrett says that he is going to blow it all off for one night at Lockdown. Abyss with the whole “running wild on you” line.
Eric Young, RVD and Jeff Hardy are still celebrating the win as we go off the air.
End of show.
My Take: It was nice to see Jay Lethal to get some airtime. The interaction between Hogan and Lethal to open the show, was entertaining. I also liked the opening video that aired before the segment. It just seemed to go along nicely.
The segment with The Band and Eric Young was rather predictable. Wasn’t the cage match stipulation added to the match last week? Then why did Jeff Hardy act like he was adding that to the match? Not a fan of Bubba the Love Sponge and wish that he would just go away already.
A fine opening contest but one thing really bugged me. Kazarian is the number one contender, but yet the focus of the segment was between Shannon Moore and Doug Williams? WHY? Kazarian should have won the match as well.
A good segment with Dinero, Chelsea and Desmond Wolfe. Chelsea isn’t a good actress in my opinion but Dinero cut a really good promo this week. A good way to make their match later tonight have some sort of purpose as opposed to just being on the show.
I have no idea what the hell is going on with Samoa Joe, but at least they are getting him back on the program.
That Orlando Jordan segment was just very, very odd. That was obviously the point of the segment, though so that is fine I guess. I’m actually curious to see where the OJ character goes from here.
Tara/Daffney was actually fairly decent. Daffney liking the sight of her own blood was obviously going to happen considering she is a demented character. Will Tara get Poison back, anyway?
Styles/Jarrett was a good match, despite having some rather slow spots. Glad to see Styles winning, even if it was clean, at least he didn’t job to Jarrett. Flair is very entertaining as he is stuck in a wheelchair.
Clearly Beer Money will be splitting up soon. Roode will be the heel and Storm will be the goofy beer drinking baby face. Hopefully, this means a push for Jay Lethal.
So, are we going to be going several months without a tag team title defense? I’d expect a tag team title tournament soon.
Dinero really needs to be winning matches and not losing them. He is main eventing the first big pay per view for TNA and he is jobbing still? Why? Wolfe is talented and all but Dinero needs to get some momentum and not lose it.
I enjoyed the Angle/Anderson segment. Anderson has been really entertaining so far for TNA. I don’t like the ladder match next week. They shouldn’t wrestle until Lockdown. Seems kind of pointless to put them on Impact. I’m assuming we will get a no contest or something stupid.
The main event was kept short and thus it was good. Relieved to see the Band not win the match as they really shouldn’t be going over people. I liked the finish, but Eric Young doesn’t belong in the main event, at least not right now.
Jeff Jarrett is on Team Abyss. Okay, not surprising at all.
Overall, I enjoyed the show. The matches were rather good. Their was less Bischoff and less Hogan which is great. Perhaps TNA is going to be highlighting the guys who should be on television now. Good show this week.
31-year old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Longtime fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls and Minnesota Vikings. Avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on the old school wrestling.