Written by: Tom Hopkins
Folks, it is near Astronomy Day and we are taped from the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, Nevada. Vinnie Mac has Macho Man (no longer an alien to the announce booth) and Roddy Piper who is likened to Saturn and who is tired of DiBiase. Ted is making his Mercury boil and he’s sick of Sherri’s moon. These opening bits are always funny in an I have no idea what Savage or Piper just said.
-British Bulldog vs. Mike Starr-
Bulldog hiptosses and bodyslams the out-matched Starr. Bulldog wants to be the IC champ but Mr. Perfect has some words for him. Perfect isn’t concerned and nor should he be, Perfect wouldn’t drop the title to Bulldog. Bulldog suplexes Starr and I am surprised that on Astronomy Day and based on their opening monologue they don’t mention the heavenly body reference. Starr maybe gets a punch in before taking a powerslam to end this at 1:56. ½*.
It’s time for Mean Gene to update us at the update center. The big news is the Undertaker/Warrior incident from last week’s episode. It seems that Undertaker and Bearer told Tunney that they only did that to scare him and didn’t mean to lock it so Tunney was like. Okay, I’ll buy it.
-Orient Express vs. Rob Allen & Scott Casey-
This is Saito and Tanaka. I don’t know which jobber is which and I don’t really care. The announcers don’t either, opting to talk about the Taker/Warrior incident instead. The Rockers cut a promo about facing the Orient Express. They intend to make chop suey out of the Orient Express. The super-kick to German suplex combo ends this at 1:52. That is a really cool finisher. The rest of the match wasn’t as cool. ¼*.
Sean Mooney join us at the Event Center. We hear from Jimmy Hart and the Earthquake as well as Bret Hart.
-Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Powers-
Virgil has some words for DiBiase but who the hell understands what he’s saying? DiBiase gets an early bodyslam but Powers fights back to the delight of the crowd. Unfortunately Powers telegraphs a back drop and it doesn’t end well for him. DiBiase suplexes Powers and powerslams him and it’s Million Dollar Dream time. The only question in this match is if it will break 2:00 and it does, by seven seconds. ½*.
Sean Mooney returns with some promos from the Bushwhackers and Tugboat.
-Legion of Doom vs. Mark Ming & Randy Sharkey –
Ming actually has a nice build. I wonder if anything became of him. Legion of Doom attacks from behind and Sharkey is dumped by Animal. Hawk hits a flying shoulderblock on Mark before press-slamming him. Animal comes in with a powerslam and an elbow drop before they toss Ming into the corner so Sharkey can be tagged in. Animal connects with a standing dropkick The Nasty’s are not scared of the LOD and tell us in their little promo and the match is over shortly after that promo at 2:05 courtesy of the Doomsday Device. ½*.
It’s time for the Funeral Parlor and Bearer’s guests are Sgt. Slaughter, General Adnan and Colonel Mustafa.
-Warlord vs. Dale Wolfe-
Wolfe has no chance here. Bodyslam, short-arm clothesline and a full nelson ends this at 1:19. DUD.
-Ricky Steamboat vs. Louie Spicoli-
Ricky spews flame before the match and it’s cool to see a jobber I actually have heard of. Steamboat throws a side kick before sending Louie to the corner. Steamboat follows with a top rope axe-handle and a top rope crossbody ends this at 1:53. ¼*.
-The Mountie vs. Jim Evans-
Mountie sends Evans face-first into the corner before doing a pumphandle take-over. Evans is dumped to the outside and is sent backfirst into the ring apron. The legal choke slam ends this at 1:47. ¼*. Mountie handcuffs the guy and shocks him with the shock-stick after the match.
Let’s take a break from this flood of wrestling matches. We hear from Barbarian (who is after Hogan), and the Texas Tornado. We preview next week (with an Earthquake/Jake Roberts match!) and comments from both men.
-The Bottom Line-
Wow, an unbelievable 7 matches are presented on this show! Sure almost all of them are sub-two minutes but 7 matches is still more than we usually get on here. There’s no hidden treasures on here but that’s usually the case for Superstars. A good episode filled with more wrestling than normal.