Written by: Tom Hopkins
It seems like so long since I’ve done one of these since Classics.com went to the once every two week format for these shows. If you also add in the fact that there was no update for the last week of December it really has been three weeks since I’ve seen Superstars. Anyway, we’re here with Macho Man, Piper and McMahon on the eve of Summerslam.
-Ricky Steamboat vs. Jim McPherson-
We have a lock-up to start and McPherson pushes Steamboat to the ropes and unloads with some jobber level punches. Steamboat slides under him on an Irish whip and he chops away. Steamboat works the arm because that’s what he does before bodyslamming McPherson. He heads upstairs for a tomahawk chop before ending this with a flying bodypress at 1:31.
We head to the Update Center (brought to us by the World Tour 1991) and we start with the final chapter of the Warrior/Roberts saga. We hear from Jake himself and he gives us a story about a rabbit being squashed by a car. The rabbit brings the snake back to his home only to have the snake turn on him when he was healed. The snake said he was a snake and that’s what snakes do.
-Sgt. Slaughter vs. Bill Pierce-
Slaughter is main eventing in the next day’s Summerslam while Pierce is someone I’ve never seen before. Smart money is on Slaughter in 90 seconds. Slaughter knees the crap out of Pierce as his promo runs in the upper left hand corner. Slaughter elbows the gut of Pierce and is working only on the gut now. Slaughter sends Pierce to the corner and backdrops on the rebound and says that was for Hogan. Slaughter clotheslines Pierce and follows with a gutbuster. He drops a boot to the back of Pierce from the top rope and the Camel Clutch finishes this at 2:36. That was a lot longer than I expected. The Trio of Terror pound on the poor jobber afterwards.
We take a breather to look at Bodybuilder Life magazine.
-Koko B. Ware vs. Dick Wernick-
So Dick is a jobber to a jobber to the stars here. Koko throws in some early arm-drags before flapping his arms like a jackass. Koko hits a missile dropkick. Koko hits the Ghostbuster (a brainbuster) for the pinfall at 1:29. Good work, Koko!
We head to Mooney who brings us some promo’s from our Summerslam competitors. This time it is comments from the trio of Texas Tornado, British Bulldog & Ricky Steamboat. I love how Steamboat says they will all burn at Summerslam and Bulldog throws in, “91,” as if we’d forget when it is from. It was just so stupid and out of place. We also hear from the Mountie.
-IRS vs. Jobber-
IRS gets no intro but we cut right to him complaining about people not paying their taxes. IRS bodyslams his opposition before dropping a pair of elbows. The flying clothesline follows but that is before that was his finisher. We hear from Greg Valentine as IRS has the jobber locked in an abdominal stretch. The Samoan Drop (the Write Off) ends this at 1:58 as we hear the IR-WIN chants for the first time. The jobber’s name was never mentioned.
We’re with Gene Okerlund as he interviews Sid Justice. He doesn’t say much but ends with Justice will be Served.
Oh it’s Bobby Heenan with the Big Gold Belt. It seems that Flair is still under contract with “another organization” but he’s the real world’s champion and Hogan should be wary.
-The Natural Disasters vs. Ray Garcia & Ross Greenburg-
The Natural Disasters would be good candidates for Biggest Loser Couples. Typhoon actually unleashes a dropkick on one of the jobbers as the Bushwhackers and Andre say they are ready for tomorrow. The poor jobber even suffers a double avalanche. The other jobber comes in and he’s destroyed before he’s dumped to the outside. Typhoon hits a splash on the guy before Earthquake finishes with the Avalanche.
Let’s head to Mooney so he can tell us about Summerslam. We hear from Bret Hart (challenging for the WWE IC title), and his opponent, Mr. Perfect. To keep the Summerslam hype machine going, we head to Mean Gene Okerlund. We were to hear from Warrior & Hogan but they declined at the last minute. We do hear from the Nasty Boys and their opponents, the Legion of Doom. We also hear from the Mountie who is in the prison and in a lengthy promo as well as his foe the Big Bossman.
-Bret Hart vs. Jobber-
Bret is the Execution of Excellence according to Piper. Roddy thinks Bret is the next IC title holder while Savage forecasts a Perfect-plex for the match. Both actually ended up being correct. We do hear from Mr. Perfect again during the match. Bret bodyslams the jobber before teasing a Sharpshooter and instead delivering a shot to the gut. A backbreaker leads way to a legdrop before Hart atomic drops the guy. Hart does the Side Russian Legsweep before ending this with a Sharpshooter at 2:25.
It’s Mooney time and more promos. We hear from IRS and the Natural Disasters. We end with one last sell for Summerslam with Savage practicing saying I Do.
-The Bottom Line-
This was the usual promo-laden episode prior to a big event and none of the matches were really worth anything. Just your standard pre-PPV promo-fest.