Written by: Tom Hopkins
Vince and Roddy are here just in time for National Laundry Week. Vince brings up dirty laundry in the WWE, and Piper calls out Tunney to reinstate Savage.
-Ricky Steamboat vs. Paul Perez-
The jobber’s name was announced but the overdubbed music of Steamboat’s was too loud and I couldn’t hear the guys’ name. Paul Perez is the name Vinny Mac uses so let’s go with that. Steamboat chops down Perez and bodyslams him. Roddy entertains becoming the WWE President and I think he actually became the president, or commissioner around the time of Wrestlemania 13. I could be wrong, though. Steamboat atomic drops Perez as Vince shills the newest issue of WWF Magazine. Steamboat suplexes Perez before connecting with a karate chop off the top and a bodypress from the top to finish this at 2:10.
Mean Gene is here with the Update Center and it is brought to us by Toys ‘R’ Us! We look back at Macho Man’s reception getting crashed by Jake. Jake and Undertaker have words for Savage and Sid and Sid tells them that justice will be served.
-Greg Valentine vs. Scot Colantonio-
Vince calls Greg a fan favorite and Roddy asks if everyone likes him? He mentions past battles and I am reminded of their dog collar match that was pretty brutal. Colantonio actually gets in some cheap offense, showing how unimportant the Hammer was at the time. The Hammer drops an elbow to the back of Scott’s head before working on the leg. The figure-four ends this at 1:33. At least there was some psychology in this match.
We hear from a soldier giving a special message to Slaughter about being a turncoat.
-The Mountie vs. Ross Greenburg-
It’s been a while since the Mountie’s been on here. The Mountie is out here with some serious rage. He just pounds Ross’ head into the turnbuckle numerous times. The Mountie Slam ends this at 1:39. That was quick. Ross takes the shock stick treatment afterwards after Ross calls Mountie a jailbird.
Sean Mooney is here with promo’s and for some reason the Bushwhackers are rambling on about kids being back in school. These two are just such a joke. They call out the Beverly Brothers. The Berzerker is here, too. He doesn’t say anything interesting.
-IRS vs. Tony Diamond-
IRS says that these tax increases in some states are because people are cheating on their taxes. Roddy asks if Vince has ever been audited and Vince says they should stick to the match. IRS drops Diamond and elbows him a few times before dumping him to the outside. IRS calls out the Big Boss Man in a prerecorded comment (saying the Boss Man is on the take) as he stomps at Diamond back in the ring. It’s mainly punching and kicking until IRS connects with his flying clothesline. The Samoan Drop ends this at 2:30.
Gene is back on stage now and he brings out, “the greatest champion of all time,” Hulk Hogan. Hogan talks about squaring off in the ring against Ric Flair and Hogan is up to any challenge. Hogan wants to show that he is in the real world’s champion.
-The Natural Disasters vs. Brian Donahue & Mike Fury-
Piper says that the Disasters can’t handle the LOD and that LOD stands for, “Look out, Dummy.” Earthquake and Fury start off, with Fury getting hiptossed over and getting dropkicked(!) by Earthquake. Typhoon comes in and he tosses Fury to Donahue. Jimmy Hart, with the Nasty’s and the Disasters call out the LOD in a prerecorded promo guaranteeing that the title belts will be back in the Hart Family. Typhoon clotheslines Donahue down. Earthquake comes in and Donahue takes a double avalanche in the corner. Fury is brought in the hard way and clotheslined down and dumped. Donahue is squashed with an Avalanche and then a big splash and that’s all she wrote at 3:00.
Let’s go back to the Event Center. We hear from the British Bulldog and he’s ready for everyone, including the Bully. I think this was the one they showed last week. We also hear from Skinner. This guy is gross.
-Jim Neidhart vs. Brooklyn Brawler-
This may be one of the Anvil’s first solo matches since the Hart Foundation broke up. The Anvil is wearing the colors he would wear with the New Hart Foundation and he’s still coming out to Bret’s music. Neidhart powers down the Brawler and hiptosses him out of the corner. Neidhart does a little bit of hair pulling before ending things with a powerslam at 1:17. Now you know why Bret was the one who got the big push.
-The Undertaker vs. Bill Pierce-
Pierce has no shot here. In fact, the pyro guy from Elimination Chamber 2010 has a better chance of taking out the Undertaker than Pierce does here. Did you see that? Holy crap the guy was almost lit on fire! Taker ties up Pierce in a tree of woe before hitting the trademark moves (the flying clothesline and the tombstone) and ending this at 2:05. Pierce does the bodybag treatment after the match.
We hear from Mooney one last time and he brings us more promo’s from Virgil (who still has the Million Dollar Title) and the Warlord (with the Barbarian). Next week we’ll see in action: The British Bulldog, Ted DiBiase, The Big Boss Man, Ric Flair on the Funeral Parlor as well as Sid Justice and Macho Man hearing about his retirement from Jack Tunney. That should be a good episode!
-The Bottom Line-
I wasn’t that impressed with this episode at all. The matches were standard stuff, the interviews and promo’s weren’t terribly interesting and the only big highlight here was the Hogan interview. Take a pass on this one. Next week looks loaded, however.