2CW Funk U 6/5/2011
Written by: Bob Colling
Squared Circle Wrestling presents Funk U!
From: Syracuse, NY
First Class opens the show as Tim Ruff is standing in the ring. Ruff would normally stand in the corner and stretch for a match and either get destroyed or the match never happened. Springate gets on the microphone and cuts a promo on Tim Ruff. Springate calls him disgusting and makes fun on his appearance. Springate wants Ruff to hit him but Ruff doesn’t do it. Ruff leaves the ring and walks backstage just as First Class wanted. Springate names off old school wrestlers they have beaten and they will beat DX if they try to get in their way. The Killer Steves and Loca Vida run into the ring a six person brawl briefly takes place as First Class bails to the floor. 2CW security escorts the Steves and Vida out of the ring and to the backstage area. Springate talks about a few Mexican wrestlers they are going to beat up later tonight before heading to the backstage area.
Opening Contest: Muscle Marcos vs. Matt Taven: Early on, Taven tosses Marcos to the canvas a couple of times and Marcos complains about a hair pull that didn’t happen. Taven chases Marcos on the floor until they return only for Marcos to bail to the floor a second time. Marcos wants a test of strength but can’t reach Taven’s hands. Taven goes to his knees so Marcos could reach his hands and decks Marcos with a right hand. Taven kicks Marcos from the apron and hits a slingshot senton splash for a near fall. Taven continued with arm drags and a dropkick. Taven gets sent chest first into the middle turnbuckle but Marcos doesn’t maintain control. Taven hits a delayed vertical suplex while using a shake weight. Taven goes to the top but Pete D. Order distracts him to allow Marcos to knock Taven off the apron to the floor. Marcos is backdropped over the top onto Pete but Marcos recovers quickly. Taven avoids a top rope cross body and delivers a couple of spin kicks and a clothesline. Marcos was way too far away for Taven as he attempted a springboard moonsault and misses the move. Marcos plants Taven with a Slice Bread for a near fall. Isys Ephex comes out to steal the shake weight from Pete and that allows Taven hit a swinging neck breaker. Taven leaps off the top and hits a frog splash for the win. (*1/2. A basic start to the match with Taven looking pretty good considering the limitations with Marcos. The frog splash was nicely done as Taven got great elevation and hit it very well.)
Second Contest: Alexxis Nevaeh vs. Portia Perez: As I usually do with women’s matches this will get just the finish treatment. Portia got the win after a handful of minutes with a super kick.
Third Contest: 2CW Heavyweight Champion Slyck Wagner Brown vs. ROH World Champion Eddie Edwards: This is a big match to be put on so early in the card as its champion vs. champion. Only the 2CW Championship is on the line, though. Slyck spits at Edwards as the bell rings but Eddie doesn’t go after Slyck. They try to chop each other but miss and Slyck goes to the floor to stall early on. Edwards works over Brown’s arm in the early moments but Slyck counters to do the same. Eddie has a hammerlock on Slyck but can’t get a submission on the champ. Brown is backdropped to the apron and kicked down by Eddie who hits a slingshot double stomp onto the apron. On the floor, Edwards is working over Slyck with a series of chops. Eddie drops Slyck on the floor with another chop after fans held Brown against the railing to allow other chops to take place. Eddie heads to the top but misses a double stomp and Slyck hits a leaping leg lariat for a two count.
Slyck continues his offense with a neck breaker out of a hip toss setup for a two count. Back to the floor where Brown sends Eddie into the guard railing and wants the fans to hold Eddie but they won’t do it for him. Brown hits a neck breaker on the floor! Brown continues to work over Edwards in the ring with strikes in the corner. Eddie fights back with a chop to drop Slyck but his offense doesn’t last long at all. Slyck hits a slingshot leg drop on Eddie across the ring apron! Slyck follows up with a running kick to Eddie’s head. Slyck taunts the fans and Edwards kicks Brown off the apron from behind and gets some momentum. Eddie misses a frog splash from the top and crashes to the canvas. They begin to trade forearm shots and Edwards delivers a kick but Slyck eye rakes Eddie. Eddie leaps off the middle rope to hit a Codebreaker and both men are down. Edwards drops Slyck with a series of clotheslines. Slyck avoids a splash in the corner but Edwards hits a top rope overhead belly to belly suplex! Eddie hits a suicide dive to the floor and they crash into the railing! Edwards goes to the top again and hits a missile dropkick.
Eddie delivers a series of chops in the corner and a sit out back suplex but Slyck kicks out at two. Edwards hits a springboard moonsault but Slyck again kicks out. Slyck stops Eddie on the top with a right hand but Eddie fights back with right hands to knock Slyck off and hits a double stomp to his back. Eddie hits a sit down power bomb but Slyck kicks out at two! Eddie misses a top rope moonsault and Slyck hits the Appreciation Bomb! Slyck drives Edwards down with a sit out spine buster but Eddie kicks out at two! Slyck goes to the timekeepers table and grabs both championships. The referee leaves the ring and Slyck hits Eddie with the 2CW Championship for a near fall. Eddie counters the Appreciation Bomb and locks in the half Boston Crab! Slyck gets to the bottom rope and nails Eddie with the championship belt to cause the DQ finish. (***. The cheap finish was not a surprise due to ROH not liking their champions losing on the independents and Slyck isn’t going to drop the title at this point. It was still a good match with solid action once they got past the stall segment by Slyck early on.)
Fourth Contest: Pete D. Order vs. Cheech vs. Twiggy: A match involving a comedy wrestler, a underrated heel and a guy that would never compete in 2CW following this match. Twiggy pinned Cheech with a backslide.
Backstage, Terry Funk talks to the Killer Steves and Loca Vida. They tell Funk that they aren’t book as if they are Dennis Stamp. They say they checked multiple times on the card and they aren’t on the card.
Fifth Contest: First Class vs. The Wyld Stalyns & ZS4: So, the Stalyns are actually The Killer Steves in disguise and ZS4 is Loca Vida wearing similar gear to ZS3 wore earlier in his career. Tim Ruff, who had been insulted earlier in the show by Springate, enters the ring and is going to be the referee for the match. Springate tried to kiss his ass but failed at convincing Ruff to not be the referee. So, the match happens. The match came to an end following three elbow drops by ZS4 and the Wyld Stalyns. After the match, they reveal themselves as being Vida and the Steves.
Sixth Contest: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Isys Ephex: If Ephex wins the match tonight he will wrestle Muscle Marcos at the Big Event. This is the debut of Ciampa in 2CW. A slow start to the match with a mat wrestling focus. Ciampa begins to work over the left knee with a spinning toe hold. Ephex gets out of a leg hold with a head scissors on the canvas and works over the left arm briefly. Ephex nails Ciampa with a boot to the face on the cartwheel attempt. Isys takes Ciampa down with a couple of arm drags and dropkicks Ciampa to the apron where Isys delivers a kick to the back. Ciampa counters a baseball slide attempt and just tosses Ephex into the guard railing. Tommaso chops Ephex on the floor and slingshots into the ring just to deliver a stomp. Ciampa has a Boston Crab locked in while sitting on the top turnbuckle. Ciampa continues his control of the match with a snap suplex for a near fall. Ciampa drops Ephex with a big clothesline as the referee caught Isys’s leg after Tommaso swung it sideways. Ciampa drops Ephex gut first over the railing and hits a running knee strike. Ciampa puts a fans hat down his pants and rubs his ass with it before returning to the ring for a two count. Ephex with a flurry of strikes and a sloppy rollup out of the crucifix position.
Ciampa runs into a knee strike in the corner and hits a reverse hurricanrana sending both men over the top to the floor. They return to the ring trading forearm shots on their knees before standing up and doing the same. Ciampa takes Ephex over with a series of German suplexs for a near fall. Ciampa gets out of an arm bar submission by sending Ephex into the corner with a suplex. Ciampa nails Isys with a running knee in the corner but can’t put him away. Ciampa looks for a power bomb but Ephex gets out of it and hits a sit down power slam for a near fall. Muscle Marcos comes out but is knocked off the top rope and Ciampa hits the power bomb back breaker but Ephex kicks out at two. Ephex avoids a missile dropkick and hits a pump handle front slam. Ephex locks in the Abominable Crab to get the submission victory. (**1/4. Some decent wrestling provided here but never got me invested into it. There were a couple of entertaining spots but as a whole I didn’t find it memorable. With the victory, Isys will meet Marcos at the Big Event.)
Seventh Contest: 2CW Tag Team Champions The Olsen Twins vs. 3.0: Colin and Matthews kick off the tag title match. Coin stalls saying that he will wrestle when he is ready to. Colin sends Matthews to the floor but gets hip tossed back in from the apron. Matthews sends Colin into the turnbuckles and hits a hip toss. Matthews clotheslines Colin over the top to the floor but tags in Parker. Jimmy is also in the ring and they run the ropes until they both start getting winded for comedy. Parker spits water into Jimmy’s eyes who pokes Parker in the eye but Parker falls into Jimmy’s groin. Jimmy has a fork while Parker has a straw and they begin to have a fight. Colin and Matthews enter the ring and they dance to Michael Jackson until the Olsen’s attack 3.0. That was pretty funny, actually. Colin hits a senton splash on Matthews. Parker tags in and all four men are going at it until 3.0 yank down the Olsen’s Twins trunks as they promised to never let go and get near falls. Jimmy and Colin hit stereo butt exposed suicide dives to the floor.
Jimmy hits a sit down splash on Parker but only gets a two count. Colin runs into a big boot and Parker screams out cross body but Colin isn’t there and Parker crashes to the canvas in another funny moment. Parker fights out of the corner and tags in Matthews who cleans house with clotheslines. Matthews with a head scissors on Jimmy and a head scissors on Colin. Jimmy is met with another one as is Colin. Matthews hits one on his partner Parker as well just out of excitement! Matthews runs after Jack Trades but Trades runs to the backstage area. Parker sends Jimmy into Colin, who hits his partner with a spear. Parker is sent to the floor by Jimmy as Matthews returns to the ring and hits a head scissors and spear on Jimmy! Colin breaks up the cover with a neck breaker of sorts. Parker enters and looks for the super kick but Jimmy blocks it and goes for the Stunner but that gets countered. They are countering various 90s finishing moves. Jimmy kicks Parker into the corner to avoid a figure four. Jimmy misses the five knuckle shuffle and Parker goes for the People’s Elbow but misses that as well. Jimmy hits the FU for a near fall. Parker super kicks Colin but Jimmy nails Parker with a vicious forearm shot. Colin hits the Gory Special and Jimmy hits a hurricanrana on Parker. Colin hits a top rope elbow drop on Matthews for a two count.
3.0 hits a back breaker/running knee combo on Colin. Matthews spears Jimmy after Parker lifted him into the air. Jimmy rolls Matthews up from behind after an attempted double team move and gets the three count. (***. There was plenty of comedy going on during this one but it was rather entertaining and there was some solid wrestling throughout as well. It might have been a good idea for the comedy direction since the crowd didn’t know 3.0 at the time and a serious match may have been hard to buy into.)
Terry Funk comes out to the ring for the main event as he is the special enforcer for the match. Jason Axe refused to shake Funk’s hand following his entrance to the ring.
Main Event: Jason Axe vs. Jay Freddie in a Stairway To Hell Match: Freddie enters the ring and they quickly begin to pummel each other. Freddie Thez Presses Axe and hammers away on Axe with right hands. They botch a cross body attempt but they go to the floor anyway where Freddie sends Axe into the guard railing. Freddie grabs a ladder from under the ring and rams the ladder into Jason’s midsection followed by dropping the ladder over Axe’s back. Axe hip tosses Freddie onto the ladder in the corner and the ladder breaks in half. Axe goes under the ring to grab a bigger ladder. Axe tosses a trash can into the ring as well. Freddie hits a German suplex onto the trash can. Freddie dropkicks the trash can into Axe’s head. Freddie climbs the ladder but Portia Perez comes out to distract Freddie. Terry Funk tosses Portia to the backstage area. Axe hits a suplex off the ladder and both men are hurting. Axe lays the ladder across the railing and apron. Axe low blows Freddie with a knee to the groin.
Axe backdrops Freddie over the top and Freddie goes crashing through the ladder on the floor! Jason climbs the ladder and grabs the barbed wire. Freddie whacks Axe over the head with a kendo stick from the floor. Freddie returns to the ring and unties the barbed wire. Axe stops Jay with a low blow and grabs the barbed wire. Axe drops the ladder over the back of Jay. Axe sends Freddie back first into the barbed wire in the corner. Axe places Freddie on the top turnbuckle and puts him in the tree of woe. Axe hits Jay in the midsection with barbed wire. Axe goes under the ring to grab a barbed wire table. Freddie drops Axe face first into the barbed wire and Freddie rakes the wire around Axe’s head. Freddie uses the wire on Jason’s forehead again. Freddie power bombs Axe onto the barbed wire!
Jay locks in a cross face with the barbed wire wrapped around Axe’s head! Freddie heads to the top but is stopped by Axe and a barbed wire shot. Axe hits a fisherman buster off the apron through the barbed wire table on the floor! Both men declare that they can continue to compete. Axe hits a gut buster but can’t get a three on Freddie. Axe continues to taunt Funk and puts a spinning toe hold on Freddie but Jay is able to reach the ropes. Axe decks the referee with a right hand. Axe goes for the spinning toe hold but Funk gets in the ring. Axe shoves Funk which isn’t a good idea. Funk plants Axe with a DDT! Freddie grabs some more barbed wire from under the ring. Freddie hits a tombstone piledriver onto the barbed wire and Funk counts the three for Freddie. (***. A few predictable ladder spots, but it was still a decent brawl between these two. There was a proper amount of violence for a feud that has been brutal in recent months. An enjoyable match to close the show.)
2CW Heavyweight Champion Slyck Wagner Brown makes his way down to the ring. Slyck nails Freddie with the championship and turns his attention to Funk. Slyck reminds Funk who he is. Terry wants Slyck to get out of the ring but Slyck isn’t interested in leaving. Brown says that Funk is a legend in this business but he doesn’t care. Slyck wants to be a legend in this business and he is challenging Funk to a match right now. Funk says he is never wrestling in a ring ever again. Slyck puts the title on the line and is attacked by Freddie from behind. Funk gets a few right in on Slyck and Funk gets an inside cradle on Brown. Freddie counts the fall and Funk wins the title. Brown is livid in the ring as Funk celebrates his title win with the fans in the front row and Freddie as well.
NOTE: After the event, the ruling was made that Jay Freddie was not an official and his pin fall was not acknowledged. Thus, the title would be returned to Slyck. However, at the next show in July 2011 Jay Freddie would get a title match against Slyck at the Big Event.
Eddie/Slyck, tag title match and the main event made up the quality matches on the show this time around. There were a few segments that I had no interest in those being the women’s match and the First Class/Vida & Steves feud. I’d like to see Taven compete against a better opponent as he seems to be a good wrestler. Overall, a decent 2CW show with the three good matches taking up a good portion of the show. I’d say it was worth the ten bucks I spent on the DVD.
Thanks for reading.