Lucha Underground 11/12/2014
Written by: Matt Peddycord
November 12, 2014
Los Angeles, CA
As he’s peeking out the window in Dario Cueto’s office, Konnan says he’s got more of the best fighters on earth coming to Lucha Underground: Fenix, Pentagon Jr., and Drago. These luchadores are as Konnan says, “on point like a decimal”. Cueto heard some troublesome rumors about these guys, but Konnan says their problems at the border have been handled. Konnan tells us that Lucha Underground isn’t much of a league without these three and that they are ready to go tonight. Cueto ponders a triple-threat match between them. May the best man win. Cueto and Konnan smile and pet their white cats as we go to the ring.
Your hosts are Matt Striker and Brother Vampiro. Word from the hospital is that Blue Demon is in stable condition. Vampiro wishes him a speedy recovery.
Mascarita Sagrada vs. El Mariachi Loco
Popular mini-luchadore Mascarita Sagrada debuts here in Lucha Underground because apparently Dario Cueto was getting complaints that there isn’t enough lucha around here. Mariachi mocks Sagrada’s size to start and pays with an enziguri kick. OF COURSE. Headscissors and lucha armdrags ensue. Mariachi bails out so that Sagrada can hit the tope con hilo. Back inside, Mariachi boots down the guy. Sagrada catches Mariachi with a flying headscissors and a victory roll for two. Mariachi boots him back down though. Sagrada fights out of a chinlock, but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. More kicks to Sagrada. Mariachi has a hard time launching the little guy. He misses a flying senton bomb, which allows Sagrada to mount his comeback. Tilt-a-whirl DDT on Mariachi gets 1-2-NO! Sagrada does another tilt-a-whirl and guillotine chokes Mariachi down into a small package for the three-count. (4:40) After the bell, Chavo Guerrero makes his presence felt by booting down Mascarita Sagrada to draw plenty of boos. BOO, CHAVO. Boo. ¾*
This past week, Vampiro sat down with Chavo Guerrero to find out where his head was at. Chavo has always done things the Guerrero way, but now he’s here in Lucha Underground to do things his way and become the star he always knew he could be without riding on the coat tails of the Guerrero family name. Vampiro reminds us of what has happened between Chavo and Blue Demon Jr. on these first two shows. YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM, BRO. Chavo was sick and tired of seeing Blue Demon living off his father’s legacy and felt that even when junior was at his best, he still sucked. The El Rey Network people thought Blue Demon was money and that Chavo would be a good opponent for him. Anybody who thinks Chavo is just a good opponent for bigger stars can kiss his backside – TWICE. Dario Cueto says he wants violence, Chavo says he can be that guy. He wants to continue being a champion everywhere he’s gone; and that includes here in Lucha Underground. If he has to put a legend (thought you just said he sucked at his peak?) in the hospital, then so be it. If there was any doubt before, Chavo feels he’s better than Blue Demon Jr. ever was. Chavo is here to stay and to DOMINATE. Vampiro is certain Chavo has some issues he needs to handle.
When we come back, Konnan walks by Chavo and tells him he needs to disappear like there’s a comprehensive immigration bill. Word on the street is, people down in Mexico have heard what Chavo has done to Blue Demon Jr. and now Mascarita Sagrada – and they will be coming for him. As Chavo watches Konnan walk on, he turns back around to see Mil Muertes standing in front of him. Whoa. He doesn’t say a word and walks passed. Catrina appears and tells Chavo that he took something that doesn’t belong to him. Just know that he never forgets. Someday, Chavo too will belong to Mil Muertes, and then Chavo gets a lick on the cheek. Just like Blue Demon did, Chavo wipes away the spit.
Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) vs. Ricky Mandel
Before the match, we get a little back story into what makes Mil Muertes who he is. During an earthquake in Mexico City back in 1985, Mil Muertes lost his entire family. Even though he didn’t die, he felt comfort being so close to death. When he emerged from the rubble, he brought that death with him. That was the day he became Mil Muertes. A THOUSAND DEATHS ARE COMING. Even though Muertes is the heel, he’s got a lovely female with him. That’s not to do him any favors in that department. We found that out often with Rusev, so Catrina will need to leave his side pretty quickly. Striker is making all kinds of sexually aggressive Musburger comments towards Catrina, which I can find being taken too seriously by people not used to that sort of behavior from wrestling commentators. Pretty fun squash as Mandel doesn’t have a prayer. He tries to put some offense together culminating in coming off the top rope, but Mil Muertes pops him in the jaw on the way down. FLATLINER takes care of business and Muertes continues his winning ways at 2:38. Afterwards, Catrina gets down and licks Mandel’s cheek. Oh great. Hey everyone, Striker over here is now aroused. Geez, dude. I mean, yeah, I would love to do some very inappropriate things to that woman. Like, use vacation days and make it a four day weekend. All we would need is five cases of Gatorade and a twenty pound bag of peanuts for energy. Neither one of us would be walking straight for a week after that experience. But yeah, you’ve gone TOO FAR Matt Striker. Just chill.
In the back, Cortez Castro and Cisco are standing guard of Dario Cueto’s office. Johnny Mundo wants to speak with Cueto, but Castro and Cisco want to know the password. Yeah, there’s no password. Mundo beats them both up pretty easily. Cisco falls into Cueto’s office door. The door swings open with Mundo looking right at Cueto. Mundo then steps over Cisco and demands a match with Big Ryck next week. You want violence? You got violence! Dario grants Mundo his match. Mundo says when he’s finished with Big Ryck, he’s coming for Dario. As Mundo walks out, Cueto looks VERY concerned. Perhaps a little too concerned.
After the break, we’re still in Dario Cueto’s office. He hands Big Ryck a couple wads of hundred dollar bills. Cueto doesn’t care what it costs – Johnny Mundo must end up in the hospital next week. Big Ryck walks away laughing it up and counting his money, homes.
We now take a look at Prince Puma. His mask is important, his Aztec warrior lineage is important – this is a guy to pay attention to.
Fenix vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Drago
NO – Drago is not Dolph Lundgren. This guy is shorter and thinks he’s a blue dragon instead of a tall Russian guy who must break Sylvester Stallone. Well, I suppose this is where I come to the realization that ring psychology will have to be thrown out the window sometimes. There’s a superkick battle to start. Drago and Fenix take to the floor so that Pentagon can take to the sky with a somersault plancha. He wants to do another one, but Fenix and Drago kick him around out to the floor. Fenix then backdrops Drago as he corkscrew planchas onto Pentagon. With Pentagon and Drago on the floor, Fenix channels the spirit of Hector Garza with a TORNILLO~! Back in, Drago and Fenix run the ropes a little bit until Drago hits a fantastic tilt-a-whirl DDT. Pentagon comes in and cuts off Drago with the Sling Blade. Superkick by Pentagon sends Drago rolling out to the floor. Meanwhile, Fenix gets up and bounces up and down on the ropes for an armdrag on Pentagon. Next up, Fenix gets launched into the air, does a forward flip, and then brings Pentagon over with a headscissors. It has to be seen to be believed, because it does not make any sense typing it out. Drago cuts off Fenix and drills him with a flip into a DDT. PENTAGON DRIVER takes out Drago again for 1-2-NO! Fenix handsprings off the ropes and flips back to catch a jumping Pentagon with a cutter. How that realistically happens, I don’t know. Over in the corner, Drago gets caught in the tree of woe. It’s of no consequence because Fenix springboards and headscissors Pentagon down off the top rope. Drago gets a victory roll on Fenix, but they roll back and Pentagon catches Fenix with a backcracker. Striker is loving this. And with that, Fenix leaves and heads up the stairs. Pentagon starts to slap Drago on the chest, but Drago doesn’t care for that and armdrags Pentagon out to the floor. Corkscrew plancha by Drago! Hey look, Fenix is up high on the top of the temple, says Vampiro. He does the New Jack dive on Pentagon and Drago and they are just there waiting to catch him. Man, I hate that. Back inside, Drago takes the FEAR FACTOR from Pentagon and Fenix hits the Rikishi Driver. Well, Drago is done. Reverse Hurracanrana to Pentagon! Fenix covers him and gets the three-count. (7:46) Some incredible spots here. Definitely a turn-off-your-brain match because the spots were so fun. It gets to a point where it stops having any semblance of realism though and ventures over into surrealism. ***½
Before we go, we see that Dario Cueto has gone to his pondering room to ponder things. He refuses to be intimidated by anyone – especially that rogue Johnny Mundo. Who does he think he is anyways?
NEXT WEEK: Mundo versus Big Ryck, homes.