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USA Pro 6/27/2003

Written by: Sean McCaffrey from http://www.declarationofindependents.net/doi/pages/index1.html

USAPRO WRESTLING – JUNE 27TH

What up there boys and girls, and welcome to another McReview, only on The Declaration of Independents website. Today’s show to be McReviewed is USA Pro. USA Pro ran on Friday, 6/27 at the infamous Madhouse of Extreme, better known as the Elks Lodge in Elmhurst, Queens. There mite b a fiw spellin errars cause I got realy durnk (Ok that part was a joke, get it?) but here are the review/results for USA Pro.

Show started off with Rhino puking in front of my house due to the night previous. After Rhino finished yacking a lung, Myers was on driving duty to Queens. We got there around 4 or so, and after getting a few more beers, it was time for the first ever DOI video interview. Our first guest was Simon Diamond, and once it’s available, we’ll let you know. The interview was a 75 minute interview, and let me tell you, you won’t find this sort of interview anywhere else. I mean wrestling might have been discussed for maybe 20 minutes in the interview. If you’re Irish or a Yankee fan, this interview will really appeal to you, and if you’re not, get it anyway, cause it’s hilarious, and you can hear some funny ass stories. I’d like to thank Simon for doing the interview with us, and check out more of him at http://www.simondiamondonline.com. Now onto the show.

Show starts off with Dexter Weiner (Pronounced Y-ner) coming to the ring with microphone in hand. He started to rile the crowd up, and get them ready for the show, until former ECW announcer Steve D’Angelis runs in and takes the mic from Dexter. Dexter told Steve to go away and he’s just a washed up announcer and his career is dead like ECW. Touche. Anyway Steve beats up Dexter, and tells everyone that he’s been announced as the new commissioner of USA Pro. I never understood the commissioner angle. How does one qualify for that? Do you need a college degree and a background in announcing to become a commissioner? Anyway, this was a good way to set up Steve as the commissioner/announcer, and fade Dexter Weiner into the announcing role. Good little bit here, and got over Steve, while saving Dexter, if they need Dexter at a later date.

Sean Hanson is still the USA pro referee, no matter what Ref Garry says. LoL. Now for matches…

Solution w/WWE Smackdown’s Miss Michelle d. Team Target

Short little match here. Same match, in the same spot as the last show. Solution really need to be pushed more in USA Pro. They are one of the top 3 indy tag teams today. Not to take anything away from Team Target, but Solution should be in the bigger tag team matches. This match was decent, but was only about 4-5 minutes long. Solution pick up the W after a sick ass Problem Solver, turned into a powerbomb by Havok.

Xavier d. Dan Barry

Great match. PAW. I actually couldn’t believe this match was booked, as it was originally supposed to be some 4 way double jeopardy match with Kruel/Xavier/Daniels/Homicide. For whatever reason, that match didn’t go off, and quite honestly, I think how they changed it was for the best. I’d rather see 3 more singles matches than a 4 way thing all over the place. Anyway, back to the match, the match was really well worked by these two athletes. You got Xavier, who’s one of the best indy workers today, and you got Dan Barry who’s quickly making a name for himself. Therefore Xavier vs Dan Barry= a great match, and it did not disappoint. Xavier wins after reversing an Irish Car Bomb into a spinning suplex/slam from the top for the pin. (Forgot what he calls it.) I also have on my recap sheet that Dan Barry is my hero, but it doesn’t look like my handwriting. It might be Fat Bastards.

Tony Lo, the Knightlife corner man comes out to talk some smack. The DRS, who’s T-shirts are now available, run out and hit Lo with a wicked ass chair shot. They then hit a Dirty Rotten Driver from the top rope, that was incredible. After that, Mike Tobin and Danny Drake, The Boogie Knights, come out to clear the ring of the DRS. Good segment to set up the match later on.

Lord of the Ring Match

This was a gauntlet style match, but only 6 guys were allowed to participate, or make the tag at once. This match also paid for the show as it had a lot of the infamous USA Pro Ticket Sellers.

Here are your participants: Mr. Pornographic Picture Man, Poppalishus, The Usa Pro Message Board Favorite, Josh Deeley, Jimmy Hustler, Vena, Darksyde, Candy’s Bro, Smoked Out, Johnny “Bison” Bravado, Prince Nana, Nuke, J-Kronik, J-Train, Tony Lo, Southern Vinny Stylin, Monsta Mack, Tim Arson, Azraiel and a former marine, who is also known as, but anything but, The Motivator.

This was your basic gauntlet match. Some guys can go, some guys couldn’t. I’d rather see guys like Monsta Mack, Prince Nana and J-Train in singles matches, as they are a step above some of the guys in this match, but hey, the show is gonna be long, and this is an attempt to shorten it. The finals came down to Mr. Exposure, Poppalishus and The Arsonist Tim Arson. I liked that, because it puts over 2 loyal USA Pro guys. Tim Arson gets the win here, as he pins Poppalishus.

POSTMATCH: Matt Zombie from the Blackhearts Hotline, 1 718 707 1122, comes in the ring with a Nazi flag to celebrate Arsons win. This cues Crazy Ivan’s music, and out comes Ivan to embrace Arson and Zombie in their white power ways. After a few insults to the crowd, that only Ivan can pull off, this leads to DMX’s “What’s my Name,” but more importantly, the entrance of Slyk Wagner Brown and April Hunter.

Slyk Wagner Brown w/April Hunter d. Crazy Ivan (Not announced for Ivan’s Nazi/America’s title)

Great match here. The storyline makes sense, as SWB is black, and Ivan is just a white supremacist. Good enough story for me lol. You got two fine athletes here, and while SWB is the more technical and pure wrestler of the two, Ivan brings the entertainment and great heel work to the bout. The match was brutal as Ivan was getting tossed all over the Elks Lodge. The crowd popped huge for Slyk and April’s return to Queens. Slyk gets the pinfall win here, in a great match. Slyk didn’t leave with the title, so maybe this sets a rematch up at the next show. I’d like to see these two go again, as it was a great match and very entertaining.

Mikey Whipwreck/Wayne d. Christopher Street Connection

It was a little hard to follow up the match previous, but this match was pretty decent too. To be honest, outside of the Gauntlet thing, there wasn’t any bad matches tonight. I like the new Mikey/Wayne tag team a lot, and I think they got a lot of potential to dominate the indy scene, if booked together. CSC are just a solid tag team, and are always over no matter where they go. The newly formed Mikey/Wayne tag team go over here for the 1-2-3.

Norman/McKenney d. Justin Cage and Jay Static

Eh. Not bad, but not good. Static looks like Sean Stasiak. It was fucking hot in the Elks and the crowd wanted an intermission, which hurt the crowd response to this. Norman/McKenney were either forgotten about, or just not cared about by the fans. Justin Cage looked a little sloppy here, but was able to redeem himself. Norman/McKenney get the pinfall for victory here.

For the USA Pro Xtreme Title
The MATCH OF THE NIGHT and a McNomination for DOI Match of the Year
The Grim Reefer d. Deranged in a Ladder Match

There will always be a match of the night no matter what show you’re at. Only a few of those matches of the night, will be a match of the year candidate and this was one of them. At this point Xavier/Barry was your match of the night, but no offense to those guys, Deranged/Reefer stole the show. There was a crazy amount of pain going on in this match, from ladders getting tossed, from outside maneuvers. You even had Swanton Bombs and reversed flipping powerbombs. There was a lot of action in this one, and this was worth the price of admission. Reefer bumps Deranged off the Ladder, tangling Deranged in the ropes, as Reefer climbs the ladder and grabs and retains his USA Pro Xtreme championship. Kudos to both performers in this match, as postmatch saw Reefer/Deranged embrace, and the Elks give it a standing O.

Crowbar/Bam Bam Bigelow/Masked Maniac d. Elm Street Kids

Probably not the highlight of Crowbars or Bam Bam Bigelow’s career. Not one of the best matches on the show, but it was due more to the other matches standing out. ESK continue to improve, and by this time next year, might be one of the top tag teams all around the indies. Bam Bam was coming back from an injury, and it was a good way to use him in a 6 man tag. Match was ok, and probably what you expected when you saw what the match was gonna be. Crowbar/Maniac/Bam Bam pick up the win, after a splash from Crowbar to one of the members of the ESK.

Lowlife Louie Ramos d. Danny Demanto

Brutal. Disgusting. Bloody. Barbaric. Those are 4 words out of many to describe this match. I said before this match went down, that this will be the match that Danny Demanto will get respect from the fans. I was right, as Demanto probably had the best match in his career, from what I’ve seen. Hardcore wrestling gets shit on, but let me tell you something Mean Gene, no one does it better than Louie today. Louie fucking works psychology into his hardcore brawls. Both men wrestled a hard match, and we saw barbed wire, tables, plywood, lightbulbs, and we even saw Demantos face pop a shitload of blood, like a virgin on prom night. Louie’s face looked like he got hit in the face with spikes as he was bleeding from all over. This was a great fucking match, and kudos to both guys involved and putting their bodies on the line. Demanto might hear a lot of shit from people, but after this, it means nothing, as Demanto turned on his A game. Yea he was ranked 241 in the DOI 250 this year, but after this match, expect major changes next year. Louie is the king of hardcore from the indies to the WWE to TNA to fucking UFC for all I care. Louie maintains his undefeated streak in USA pro after he DVD’ed Demanto into a table for the 1-2-3.

POSTMATCH: Kevin Matthews tries to make the save, but only to get destroyed by Louie. Hey, Matthews has a broken fucking knee or something to his leg, and he’s getting his ass kicked and bleeding from the head. That’s some dedication.

Intermission. Got more beer. The MiC and the “Y-Ner” got hammered all night. Thanks for the ice, as it kept the beer cold for a 6 hour show.

Boogie Knights d. Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz

Face turn phase 2, for the DRS here, and it worked. USA Pro fans love the DRS, and while they might be better heels, there is no denying the fan support they have right now. This match was PAW from two great fucking tag teams. Boogie Knights have been on a bigger roll than anyone since reuniting in January. From great matches w/the Solution over in ICW, to a great match here tonight. Both teams were really on tonight, and the crowd appreciated it. Finish saw interference from Tony Lo, and Drake seizing the moment with some brass knux to the DRS with the refs back turned. Those refs really need eyes in the back of their heads. After getting hit with knux, this led to the easy 1-2-3 unconscious victory for BK.

This then leads to Billy Reil shitting on Simply Luscious which led to…

Billy Reil d. Simply Luscious

Pretty decent match, actually. Luscious is a better worker than Chyna and some of the guys in that Lord of The Rings match. I’d even say Luscious is better than The Motivator! Reil is great at being a dickhead heel, who you want to see get raped in jail. Reil dominated mostly, as Luscious got some flurries of offense in. Finish saw Reil hit Luscious with a sick twisted top rope powerbomb, leading into the win.

Mike Kruel d. Chris Daniels

PAW match. Really great match. Daniels is one of the best workers today on the indies or WWE. Kruel is ready for the WWE and has been having great indy matches all over. These two clicked really well and had a great match. Kruel retains his title after a 20 minute technical wrestling smart marks dream match.

SAT d. Simon/Striker for the USA Pro Tag Titles

Good match, don’t agree with the result. SAT/USA Pro had a lot of beef for a while, and I thought the tag belts would look better and more deserved around The Boogie Knights, DRS, Solution or Mikey/Waynes waists because of USA Pro loyalty and, as they haven’t gotten into a public dispute w/USA Pro, like the SAT. Good match though, and the SAT are way over with the crowd, so the crowd is happy that they are back, and that’s one of the major things that count. Joel Maximo d. Striker in the middle of the ring with a rollup to become a USA Pro Tag Team champ.

Saturn d. Homicide

Why Saturn goes over Homicide is beyond me. Homicide has done a lot of work and did a lot of things for USA Pro. Homicide made Saturn look decent here. Call me biased, but Saturn seems to have lost a step from his ECW/WCW days. Homicide is still the best wrestler not to be known to WWE/TNA fans. Match was decent for what it was, but the crowd lost a little energy as it started getting late. That’s the one problem with USA as fans start leaving or not caring due to show lengths.

Justin Credible d. Balls Mahoney in a bloodbath

Lots of blood and great action in here. Hell, it was even PAW. Balls has become so much of a better wrestler since his ECW days. He has lost a lot of weight and has been able to deliver match in match out. Credible looked good here too. Lots of brutality in this one. Finish saw Low Life Louie interfere and cost Balls the match, as Credible was able to hit the That’s Incredible Piledriver for the duke.

POSTMATCH: Louie/Balls brawl, resulting in Mahoney going through a table from the stage to the floor. Louie challenges Balls to a match at the next show. That will be fucking great.

Raven d. Sandman to retain the USA Pro Title

Match #807689768976897689789789768976898976 between these two. I don’t know why this went down, as it’s been done to death. Same match you’ve probably seen before. Raven evenflow DDTs Sandman for the victory. Ok match, but has been done so many times that you lose interest quickly. Sandman still has the best entrance ever.

Final McWord

Another solid outing for USA Pro. Outside the gauntlet match, there was nothing that really was bad. You had 3 fantastic, superb matches, in Xavier/Barry, Deranged/Reefer and Kruel/Xavier. Couple that with great matches between everything else, such as DRS/BK and Simon/Sriker v. SAT, you had another solid night of wrestling. USA needs to stop booking Sandman vs Raven, as the crowd started to empty out, as they’ve seen it before. USA Pro is one of my fave shows to go to, as there is always a great atmosphere and a lot of booze flowing. For 20 bucks you can’t go wrong, and there is a reason why USA Pro has been around for 8 years, and the top fed in the best state in the union. Another good show, and I’m glad that there wasn’t too many ticket sellers on this show, as there are usually. I’d like to thank anyone who bought the new DOI 250. We hope you like it. Great seeing my pals Slingblade Carl, JC The Damager and Wrecka. Hell Wrecka will be back soon, so expect some great shit when he’s back. Hell I even got see Derangeder and Fanseyeview. It’s always great seeing everyone at USA Pro and I had a great time like usual. Well sorry for cutting this short, but this thing took 2 hours to type out, and I’m dead tired.

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