WCW Nitro 1/22/2001

Written by: Strobogo http://www.strobogowrasslin.blogspot.com

WCW Tuesday Nitro 1/22/2001

The New WCW can suck it.

LAST WEEK. Buff, Lex, Steiner, and Jeff were watching Sid’s leg break over and over while eating chicken wings. They snap bones while watching it. I’m torn on this. It certainly would never happen today and it is offensive, but they’re heels actually being heels and I like that.

We open with a news item. Tony announces that WCW has been sold, but that the transaction isn’t complete yet. Man, they’re really jinxing themselves.

The Magnificent 4 come to the ring. No Steiner, no Jeff. Ric says this is the greatest unit ever. Unit is probably the right word. He announces Alex Wright as the number one contender. Alex comes out, but Nash comes out right after him. Alex has the great idea to punch Nash. He gets powerbombed through the stage.

Cat comes out and says Nash is the number one contender. Steiner vs Nash for the title at Superbrawl. I don’t understand why Flair can’t just over rule Cat. He’s the CEO. Flair wants a qualifying match. Nash has to beat Buff with Lex as the ref. Lex has already been booked against DDP! The winner will get to be the special ref for the main event.

TO THE BACK. Sanders talks with Chavo and Wall. Flair thinks Chavo can be a top guy. Even Chavo thinks that is silly. Chavo/Wall vs Lash/Hugh tonight. Jeff and Steiner arrive. Scott wants to watch the Sid video again. Flair wants to be the first to tell them about the bookings tonight.

Mike Modest vs Christopher Daniels

Oh shit. Hey, remember when Modest showed up before the reboot and actually beat TAFKAPI on the Spring Break Nitro? This is the first time he’s been back since then. Daniels looks like such a goof with hair. Shaving it was a great idea. About a minute it, Daniels botches a moonsault and lands right on his head. Like, comically on his head.

He continues like nothing happened, though. Chris did a springboard splash on the floor. His left arm looks pretty dangly. I think he has a stinger. He tries another split leg moonsault and kind of fucked it up, too. Release dragon suplex from Modest. Modest does Trish’s corner moonsault thing. Daniels again lands on his head. BME! Kryptonite Krunch, but Daniel’s had his foot on the ropes. Angel’s Wings! Kind of. It turned more into an awkward tiger bomb. Daniels could barely get his arms locked to even do the move. They both go to the floor and Steiner comes out. T-bones both of them right on their heads. He apparently breaks some legs and shit talks Sid. Poor Daniels. He gets his big break and breaks his neck a minute into the match, then lands on his head 4 more times, and then doesn’t even get a finish to his match.

Kwee Wee vs Security Guard

Kwee Wee I guess was actually asking to be apart of Flair’s group on Thunder and was made they didn’t ask him. He made another open challenge. Kwee Wee attacks a security guard. The rest of security break it up.

Lance Storm vs Konnan

Why would have have Lance vs Konnan when you could have Lance vs Rey or Kidman? Both Konnan and Scott say Canada has never been in a war. Wtf? That’s pretty offensive and I’m not a Canadian. Of course both teams fight on the floor. Konnan taps out to the Maple Leaf. Thankfully this was quick.

TO THE BACK. Shane Douglas talks with Totally Buffed. If Shane takes the Cat out, he’s in the group. Gene is with Lash and Hugh. Hugh is all spaced out and crazy. Hugh discharged Lash from the MIA. Hugh Morris is back! Is this supposed to be some Mankind/Cactus bullshit? DDP and Lex head to the ring.

DDP vs Lex Luger

Winner will be the ref for Nash vs Buff. If Nash or Buff get involved, they’ll be suspended. I still don’t like DDP’s new music. It sounds like a weird JHV of Paradise City, actually. I hate to say it, but that’s a downgrade from Teen Spirit in this context. Why would you ever change DDP’s music? Tony says Lex has always been an enigma in WCW. Not always. Just after he came back from the WWF. Lex Luger is a bad wrestler. DDP accidentally hit the ref while signalling for the Kanyon Cutter. Jarrett comes out and hits him with the guitar. Torture Rack. Lex wins and will be the ref in the main event. Of course.

The Mamalukes vs Jindrak/Stasiak

These guys reunited like a month ago and this is the first time they’ve actually had a match. Stasirak? Jinsiak? Jasiak? Sindrak? I think I’m going to go with Sindrak. Actually, Tony says they are “leftovers”. I’ll stick with that. The Mamalukes vs The Leftovers. A double pin happens and #hardbodiedref doesn’t know who to count for. Palumbo and O’Haire come out and tell him to count. He gives the match the the Mamalukes via DQ.

TO THE BACK. The Thrillers argue. Flair wants a word with Sanders. He tries to give Sanders tips on how to calm down that kind of dust up. Sanders is the next Dirtiest Player in the Game. When I said Sanders was like Mr. Anderson before there was a Mr. Anderson, I was wrong. He was like Miz before their was a Miz. Even worse.

Shane Douglas vs The Cat

Higher ups were really down on all the cursing in WCW, so Shane’s new thing is “You’re going get your your *evil laughter* franchised!” It’s stupid. He should just stick to “You’re going to get franchised.” Flair pops up on the screen and says it isn’t a title match, but a no DQ match with the commissionership on the line. SWERVE! Can you imagine Shane Douglas: Commissioner? Yikes. Sanders comes out and Cat gets rid of him. O’Haire comes out and lays Cat out. Rick Steiner comes out and gets rid of Sean. He stops Shane from using the chain and Cat wins with the Feliner. Rick does a little dancing.

Chavo Guerrero/The Wall vs Hugh Morris/Lash LeRoux

MIA POWERS EXPLODE! They shouldn’t have changed their names to begin with. If they had to, it seemed to make more sense to use their SHOOT names anyway, right? Last week, Hugh said he was sick of being the General and Hugh, so why isn’t he Bill DeMott this week? His real name had been mentioned on screen multiple times anyway. At the start of the MIA angle, he said that he hated his “given name’ of Hugh Morris, hence the Captain Rection change in the first place. Maybe he’s taking back his slave name to have power over it. Wall does a top rope sleeper on Lash.

Chavo botches a Canadian back breaker and tries it again a minute later. Chavo pins Lash with a roll up. I don’t think Hugh got in the match at all.

Buff Bagwell vs Kevin Nash Special Ref: Lex Luger

Buff and Lex have a pre match promo. What ref gets promo time before a match? Luger is the Fonzie of WCW. He calls it right down the middle. Allegedly. He gives very slow counts for Nash and helps Buff a few times. Lex low blows Nash. Buff misses the blockbuster. DDP comes in and hits Lex with the Kanyon Cutter. Jackknife to Buff. Nash does the “Austin makes the pin with Vince’s hand” thing. Show again ends in all the guys brawling in the ring. 3 shows in a row with the exact same ending.