WCW Thunder 12/2/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Match 1: Norman Smiley (c) v. Wall for WCW Hardcore Title
Typical Norman as he gets wasted by the Wall. Berlyn intervenes and hits the Wall on accident and Norman wins.
Luger goes into the production truck and has it rewound. He is facing Sid in the main event tonight and is not happy about it.
Silver King wants his check back from Dr. Death and challenges him. OK is upset when he makes fun of football.
Gene is with Hayashi. Hayashi is doing the voiceover thing again. Now a cowboy type accent.
Match 2: Maestro v. Kaz Hayashi
Match does not last long. David Flair comes down and beats Maestro with the crowbar and he is counted out.
* Um, yeah.
Lash and Disco arrive in a nice convertible. Another car pulls up soon after and it is the Mamalukes. They search the car.
Chavo is wheeling and dealing.
Luger gives his bag to Terry Taylor and is attempting to leave the arena. He has a flat tire!
Match 2: Chavo Guerrero v. Buzzkill
Holy shit, this is bad. Chavo is showing off tye dye stuff as Buzzkill is doing some horrible acting. Disco lamp now and Chavo tries to roll him up for the win and so Buzzkill waffles him with the briefcase for the win.
Benoit is with Gene who is speaking in monotone as he talks about how great Liger is. Benoit needs to relax.
Meng has arrived and he goes into his room. Disco and Lash switch the signs so Mamalukes will think it is them when it is Meng.
Evan and Madusa are acting creepy.
Sid is whispering about Nash and what he is going to dow with him. He is going to tear apart Luger.
Luger is on the phone with a cab company and wants a cab now.
OK is pumping up Dr. Death.
Mamalukes are bullying workers to find out where Disco and Lash are.
Match 4: Dr. Death v. Luchas
Death destroys the Villanos and Silver King runs off with the check.
Luger is talking to the Mamalukes and Silver King takes his cab!
More Mamalukes. They have found the locker room and finally are able to read what it says! They are plotting something.
Match 5: Jushin Liger v. Chris Benoit
Here comes Juve and Psychosis and La Parka. Juve is wearing a sling.
Benoit and Juve are exchanging holds and Benoit bridges up and attempts a backslide but is taken down and now they exchange roll ups. They tussle for a bit and Liger drops him with a rolling forearm. Benoit fires back and goes for a suplex but he is suplexed to the floor. Liger goes up top and strikes with a flying crossbody. Back in the ring Liger puts him in a surfboard. Benoit escapes and hammers him and then they both collide and are down. Benoit ducks a kick and drops a quick elbow on a fallen Liger. He follows up with a snap suplex, pulls him up and nails him with a back suplex. He gets two. Benoit hammers him and then goes up top but he is superplexed from the top rope. Here come the Luchas! The match is tossed as Benoit and Liger clear them out.
*** Good match. Shitty ending.
Buff is facing Meng. Gene asks him about how Meng is tearing through everyone. Buff is getting annoying…
Mamalukes talk about nonsense and finally open the door and Meng destroys them.
Luger is on the phone again. Cannot hear him. He was talking to Terry. Tenay was talking over him.
Match 6: Buff Bagwell v. Meng
Battling back and forth. Meng is getting the best of Buff. Buff finally fires back but the Mamalukes come down. They are destroyed. Buff hits a Mamaluke with the Blockbuster and he is finished by the Deathgrip.
** Not bad. Overbooked.
Match 7: Mona and JJ v. Evan and Madusa
Mona loses. JJ does not really help.
Sound was all fucked up for a while. Now it is fixed. Revolution are in the back talking. Sound is off for a minute but it comes back when Saturn cracks jokes.
Sid is working out.
Luger is on the phone being a bitch again.
Gene is with Disco and Lash. Lash is horrible. I mean really bad.
Match 8: Disco and Lash v. Saturn and Dean Malenko
Revolution are calling Lash and Disco stupid. Shane’s jokes are really terrible. Mamalukes arrive and Saturn calls the one with hair Rocky Balboa and Saturn taunts him and they charge down. The fight is on. I guess this is the match. Police pull them off and get rid of the Mamalukes.
Disco and Lash are annihilating Saturn. Revolution turn the tide. But Saturn runs into a boot and is grabbed by Disco but Saturn counters by crotching him on the top rope and then kicking him off. Malenko is working over Disco. Shane gets off the headset and blasts Leroux with his cast and Malenko finishes him off.
** Not a bad brawl.
Match 9: Lex Luger v. Sid Vicious
Hart is on commentary and says Bill Goldberg a dozen times. Luger tells Sid they can do this the easy way or the hard way and the ref takes the mace from him. Sid clotheslines him and hammers away. He drops him with a big boot. Luger nuts him and works him over. Liz has come down and she supposedly tries to mace Luger but he grabs the mace and sprays Sid who ends up powerbombing the ref! Luger rolls him up and uses the ropes as another ref runs in and gets the three count. Luger earns a title shot.
*1/2 Angle advancement. I think.
Sid powerbombs him after the match.
**1/2 Not enough wrestling. Too much shenanigans. But at least it was average.