WCW Thunder 12/9/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Ratings went up to a 2.5.
Tenay is bragging about how big this show will be tonight. Here comes the Outsiders. Hall is sitting on top of a ladder. He shouts out to Benoit and acknowledges that he is pretty good. He knows Benoit wants to make a name for himself. Benoit also wants a pay raise and though he cannot beat him in a regular match he wants to face Hall in a match he invented. Benoit needs to go to Blockbuster and watch his match with Shawn Michaels. Now Nash has the mic and tells Sid that he is not the master of the powerbomb. This is not a videogame. Nash is the only badass around here. Sid comes out and he is tired of Nash and them screwing him and holding him back. Hall makes a Vader joke and is called a wiseass. Sid is going to give them a taste of Starrcade and attacks Nash and then pushes Hall off the ladder. He goes to powerbomb Nash, Hall shoves the ladder into him. Dustin Rhodes runs down and makes the save. JJ runs down and breaks the guitar over his head. Now Benoit books down and rocks both Hall and JJ but he is flung into the ladder and JJ shoves it down into him. Security rushes down.
Here comes Madusa and she is pissed that Rhonda Singh is getting a title shot at Evan tonight. No one is getting one but her.
Here comes Juve and Psychosis. Juve talks about the Juice coming to Milwaukee and they are in Madison! They come to the announce table. Juve acts like the Rock and even gets some crowd support.
Goldberg has arrived.
Revolution comes out and Shane is not pleased with Duggan. He calls him all sorts of mean names. He mocks him for being a janitor and they will beat his ass. He yells at the crowd to shut the hell up. The Revolution is facing Duggan at the PPV and he loses he has to renounce his citizenship. They are winners and better than everyone and they do not clean toilets though the fans disagree. Dean has the mic. Dean uses the Marines motto. Saturn makes a Stripes reference. Asya just stares.
Match 1: Dean Malenko v. Booker T.
The first match! Damn. Back and forth the match goes. Booker spinebusts him but he gets hung up on the top rope after missing the Harlem kick and Shane hits him with his cast and Dean finishes him with the Cloverleaf.
DUD. The reason for that is because these two should have a ten minute match. Also, Booker deserves better. Fucking lame.
Duggan comes down and chases them off. Juve is having a blast and is giggling and screaming Hohhhhh! Damn he is classic!
Sid wants in Russo’s room and he and Benoit beat up CC and now La Parka. Curt tells Russo that his guys are getting his ass kicked. Russo wonders what he is doing…..After the break Sid is screaming and tells Curt to shut up and he wants the Outsiders. Six man….Dustin, Sid and Benoit v. JJ and the Outsiders.
Match 2: Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea v. Vampiro
OK comes to the announce table. Match has not been too bad. Prince is tossed over the top rope and I mean he fucking flew. Vamp finishes him off with a kick to the head. Paisley had slapped OK and now Prince decks him!
** Okay….probably overrated.
Oh, they panned to Piper arriving in a limo during the match.
Dr. Death saves OK and beats up Iaukea.
Russo is letting Mona go. She is upset. Rhonda leaps in and is happy for the chance. She will provide ratings by winning the title. She whispers basically that she will take off her clothes.
Piper is making noises as he confers with Nick Patrick. Ref decisions are final and Piper is giddy.
Bret is with Goldberg and Gene. Bret talks about respect and they will execute CC. Goldberg tells them to be afraid because they are next.
Match 3: Madusa v. Rhonda Singh
I thought…Oh well. Best part of the match is Juve dissing Evan. Madusa wins.
* Short and to the point.
Rhonda is a woman of her word and has her music hit and starts to dance! Juve loves it and is laughing. The lights start flickering as Tenay freaks out and Juve still acts like she is dancing. You can tell that Rhonda has been laid out.
David Flair is pitching a fit…..
Piper is talking to himself in the restroom, snorting and giggling.
Saturn and Stevie Ray are fighting in the back. They had been earlier too. Saturn is stuck in a Surge keg and getting kicked around.
Match 4: Jerry Flynn v. David Flair
In the Block. Buzzkiller tries to make peace but is knocked silly. Flynn beats the shit out of Flair but turns into a hard right from Tank Abbot and is knocked out.
CC are with the old Buff and Steiner ref.
Bret is walking.
Match 5: CC (c) v. Bret Hart and Goldberg for WCW Tag Titles
Fans chant for Goldberg as Hart is getting hammered. Hart now goes to work and here comes Piper. Some chaos and now the ref is ousted and Piper watches as all four go at it. Goldberg takes out both CC with spears. Sharpshooter and Jackhammer on each and it is over!
*1/2 Too short. Tag champs though.
Bret wishes Goldberg the best at the PPV and they will find out who the best there is….
Russo wants Hennig to get Piper. He tells Vincent to get him, Hennig does who then tells La Parka but Curt demands he go. Then he asks La Parka what he is looking at! Fucking hilarious.
Match 6: Stevie Ray v. Saturn
They brawl to the ring. Just beating one another until Saturn whips him into the corner and T Bones him off the rebound. Saturn splashes him and gets two. They go back and forth and CC comes down and slapjacks Ray and Saturn wins. Booker runs down and helps Ray take out CC.
**1/2 For the whole thing.
Piper is acting crazy in front of Russo who is pissed. Russo is angry that he cost CC the match and then gives Parka the signal and Piper notices. Piper screams at him for trying to attack him from behind and makes him sit. Russo regains control of the meeting and warns Piper that if he messes with him again he will never work in this business again. Piper says he is a friend over and over….
Sting and Liz are with Gene. Sting is facing DDP tonight. Sting calls him trash and that he is not concerned with his issues.
Match 6: Buff Bagwell v. Lex Luger
DDP heads to the announce table. DDP is silent and just says he is shooting his own angle. Lex is stomping a hole in Buff but runs right into a bodyslam. Buff hammers him and Lex retreats to the floor. Buff heads out and instead attacks DDP and they fight. Lex tries to break it up and they pan the camera way!
Russo asks Duggan who told him he could wrestle again. Duggan quietly tells him that it is about America. Russo tells him that the US does not care. The fans neither. Russo says that Americans only care about themselves and that Duggan is essentially an anachronism.
Match 7: Asya v. Jim Duggan
CC and Parka and Vincent and Curt all run down and kick his ass. The Revolution head down to the ring now. They have a box filled with hot dogs and applie pie and rub it into his face.
Shane has the mic again. Here comes Heat and before he can say anything they chase the Rev. off.
Benoit talks about Silent but Violent. Dustin talks about a big stick and that is Sid.
Match 8: DDP v. Sting
Sting hammers him and hits a Stinger Splash. He goes for the Deathlock but DDP fends him off and pounds him. DDP accidentally clotheslines the ref and here comes Lex who destroys Sting with the bat. Liz tries to protect him and DDP assures her and pulls up a prone Sting and gives him a DC! Ref is up and it is over.
** Overrating the shit out of this but it worked. I guess.
Match 9: JJ and Outsiders v. Sid and Benoit and Rhodes
The faces run down and all are brawling. Benoit and JJ go at it once order is restored. Here comes Dustin and he continues to punish him but Nash belts a running Dustin going off the ropes. Nash is in and he does his thing in the corner and Hall joins in. Nash works him over for a bit and here comes JJ again. All six get involved and Benoit and Dustin are knocked to the floor. Sid takes on both Outsiders. He clotheslines both and gives Nash the big boot. He is setting up the powerbomb but is smashed by the guitar and Nash wins.
*** It was entertaining. Not sure if I want Thunder to be like Nitro as there is no wrestling now. But I will say it was good. If they keep it up and add more wrestling then Nitro going to two hours will not be so bad.