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WWF Heat 2/3/2002

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Show opens with video from Raw. Vince McMahon presented his ultimatum to Ric Flair: Either sell him back his WWF stock and leave the company, or Vince would inject the poison that is the nWo into the Fed.

Cole and Tazz, at ringside, welcome us in and we go straight to action…

1st Match: The Godfather, with 4 ‘escorts’, vs. Funaki.

Crowd loves GF, doesn’t mind Funaki too much. GF helps the girls from the ring and presents Funaki with his business card. Funaki tears it up and lays into GF with forearms. Funaki attempts whip, reversed, Funaki off ropes, GF scores with shoulder, Funaki down. GF brings Funaki to ropes, lays in choke, broken up by ref. GF jerks on ropes, sending Funaki down again. GF brings Funaki up, scoop-slams him right back down. GF goes off ropes, does a quick dance, drops the leg on Funaki’s neck. GF brings Funaki up, brings him to corner, Funaki scores rake to eyes, GF in corner, Funaki lays in boots. Funaki attempts whip, GF puts on brakes, forearms Funaki to mat. GF brings Funaki up, sets him in corner, prepares for Ho Train, scores, brings Funaki up, Pimp drop, Funaki down, GF covers, 1-2-3. Can we say squash?

Winner: The Godfather.

Cole reminds us that Raw will be live from Las Vegas tomorrow night to send us to break.

Back straight to the ring…

2nd Match: The Hurricane with Mighty Molly vs. Lance Storm

Crowd totally into Hurricane, hates Lance. The two circle, lockup, exchange hammerlocks, Hurricane scores snapmare, tries to re-apply hammerlock, Lance to feet. Lance breaks hold, sends Hurricane off ropes, leapfrog sequence, exchange of waistlocks, Lance tries to push Hurricane to ropes, Hurricane sidesteps, Lance goes through ropes and out of ring. Back in, Hurricane scores forearms, attempts whip, Lance puts on brakes, sets for suplex, Hurricane rolls through, scores neck breaker, covers for 2. Up, Hurricane sets for suplex, takes too long posing, Lance goes behind, sends Hurricane off ropes, misses clothesline, Hurricane again off ropes, ducks a forearm, goes behind, locks in crucifix, gets Lance down for another 2. Up, Lance scores low kick, vertical suplex, Hurricane down for 2. Lance throws Hurricane into turnbuckles, whips him to opposite, Hurricane staggers out, Lance forearms him to mat, covers for 2. Lance brings Hurricane up, Hurricane scores punches to gut, goes off ropes, scores flying headscissors, Lance rolls from ring. Hurricane goes off ropes, scores plancha over top, Lance down outside. Hurricane scores punches, rolls into ring, Lance to apron, Hurricane approaches, Lance scores shoulder to gut. Lance goes for sunset flip, Hurricane side-somersaults, Lance to mat. Hurricane to top turnbuckle, Lance rising, Hurricane scores flying neck breaker, only good for 2. Hurricane tries to bring Lance up, Lance scores jawbreaker, shoots Hurricane off ropes, sets for backdrop, Hurricane scouts it, scores kick to face. Hurricane goes for superkick, Lance catches his boot, spins him around, scores own superkick, Hurricane down, Lance covers, 1-2-3.

Winner: Lance Storm.

Our hosts show us video from Smackdown. The APA were hoisting some brews with the stars of the new re-make of Rollerball, Chris Klein, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and LL Cool J. Booker T crashed the party, asking the stars why he hadn’t been offered a role in the movie. LL explained there was no part available for a guy who gets beat up in grocery stores. An enraged Booker challenge the chuckling Acolytes to a match. His former Alliance partner Test volunteered his services for the tag bout. The APA got the victory after Bradshaw scored his Clothesline from Hell on Test. Post-match, the Rollerballers joined Faarooq and Bradshaw in the ring to celebrate. Rollerball debuts Friday (the movie features Paul Heyman as an announcer). Break.

Slam of the Week: Booker T and HHH were engaged in a match last week on Raw. Defying her husbands request to stay away from ringside, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley made her presence felt in the match. This proved enough of a distraction to allow Booker to pick up the win. Stephanie tried to apologize as Hunter appeared ready to explode.

3rd Match: Val Venis vs. Perry Saturn.

Good responses for both. Pre-match, Val does his Rick Rude routine. Perry and Val lockup, Perry scores forearm, kick, shoves Val into turnbuckles. Perry lays in knees, Val down in corner. Perry applies boot-choke, broken up by ref. Perry argues with ref, turns, Val scores clothesline, Perry down. Up, another clothesline, same result. Once again up, Val scores forearms, whips Perry off ropes, scores reverse elbow, Perry down. Val drops an elbow, goes off ropes, drops a knee, covers for 2. Val brings Perry up, tries for whip, reversed, Val into turnbuckles. Leg sweep sends Val down, Perry scores series of mounted punches, Ref warns him off. Perry brings Val up, scores swinging neck breaker, covers for 2. Perry brings Val up, sets him at ropes, scores headbutt to gut, Val doubled over, Perry scores kick to head, Val down. Perry brings him up, attempts whip, reversed, Perry into corner, Val charges, Perry gets a boot up into Val’s face. Perry approaches, Val scores low dropkick, both men down. Up, Perry tries kick, Val grabs his boot, Perry goes for enzugiri, Val ducks, Perry down, Val still holding Perry’s leg, slams it knee-first to canvas. Perry up, Val goes off ropes, scores chop-block, Perry down again. Up, Val tries for a leg lock, Perry forearms his way out, scores Northern Lights suplex, Val down for 2. Up, Val scores drop toe-hold, Perry down, Val keeps legs locked, drops Perry’s knee to mat. Val locks in modified Figure 4, Perry taps out.

Winner: Val Venis.

Snap of the Night: Last week on Raw, Kurt Angle faced Stone Cold Steve Austin for the #1 contendership. Kurt thought he had the match won after scoring the Olympic Slam, but Austin got his foot on the ropes right as the ref counted 3. As Angle celebrated, the ref tried to inform him the match wasn’t over. Austin then hit a Stunner out of nowhere for the 1-2-3. Stone Cold will face Chris Jericho (or whoever else may have the title at the time) at the No Way Out PPV for the Undisputed Championship.

Straight back to action…

4th Match: Crash Holly vs. The Bossman.

Crash already in the ring, crowd despises the vile Bossman. They circle lockup, Bossman pushes Crash into corner, Bossman tries punch, Crash ducks, gets back to center of ring. they again square off, Crash scores forearm to face, his quickness enables him to escape retaliation. Attempted lockup, Bossman scores knee to gut, punch, Crash into corner, Bossman lays in more punches until warned off by ref. Crash whipped to opposite corner, Bossman charges, Crash gets a boot up to Bossman’s face. Crash scores pair of elbows, attempts whip, reversed, Crash off ropes, Bossman sets for backdrop. Crash scouts it, scores forearms to back, goes behind, makes like quarterback, Bossman skips away from crazy ol’ Crash (and I do mean skip-looked really funny in slo-mo). Crash does deranged posing, Bossman looks both mad and nervous, shoves Crash into corner. Crash asks for time-out, removes yellow flag from trunks, calls for penalty (is it just me, or does humor not really work in matches involving the Bossman?). Bossman scores double-axehandle, Crash to mat. Bossman brings him up, sends Crash off ropes, big boot sends him right back down. Bossman stuffs penalty flag into Crash’s mouth, brings him up, whips him into corner, Crash again down. Bossman drops a knee, takes pose break, brings Crash up, uppercuts him right back down near ropes. Bossman goes off ropes, slides out of ring next to Crash, lays in punch from the outside. Crash goes to center of ring, Bossman reaches for nightstick, legendary bastion of good sportsmanship and fair play Referee Nick Patrick advises against it. Bossman re-enters ring, Crash scores punches to gut, Bossman scores chops to neck, Crash down in corner. Bossman stands on Crash, again warned off by my man Nick. Bossman lifts Crash up by legs, drops him to mat. Bossman scores kick to face, brings Crash up, forearms him RRRIGHT back down, applies choke, broken up by Saint Nick. Bossman whips Crash off ropes, sets for backdrop, Crash goes for sunset flip, can’t get Bossman down, Bossman goes SPLAT onto Crash’s chest for a 2 count. Crash locks his legs around Bossman, gets leverage, rolls him over for 2. Both up, Bossman forearms Crash down, takes a break to chat with Nick, backing him into corner. Bossman attempts to bring Crash up, Elroy scores forearms, goes off ropes straight into Bossman Slam, Crash down, Bossman covers, 1-2-3.

Winner: The Bossman.

Some very strange guy at ringside is dressed in what looks like a dog suit. Cole compares him to Chewbacca: Tazz sees a resemblance to Albert. Break.

We come back in to the incredible WWF History video. If you haven’t seen it yet, find someone who has it on tape. We go back to video from Smackdown. Ric Flair, who has no need to prove his reputation as the best promo man in the business, did so anyway. He stated that, to save the WWF from the corrosive influence of the nWo, he was selling his WWF stock to Vince and leaving the company. The fans chanted his name as Ric left the ring for the last time. However, Vince insisted that Flair return to sign the documents finalizing the deal. When Flair hesitated to sign the contract, Vince put the pressure on-until the glass broke, and Stone Cold made his way to the ring. He asked the crowd if they wanted Ric to stay and for Vince and the nWo to go to hell-“HELL YEAH!” Ric ripped up the contract and Austin hit Vince with a Stunner. Our hosts wonder when the nWo will make their presence felt to send us to our last break.

Countdown to Wrestlemania: 6 more weeks.

Time for our main event…

5th Match: For the Cruiserweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Champ Tajiri with Torrie Wilson.

Very nice responses for both. Lockup, Tajiri scores a quick bridging Northern Lights suplex for 2. Scotty up, test of strength, Scotty scores an atomic drop, goes off ropes, connects with dropkick to face, covers for 2. Scotty goes off ropes, drops a trio of elbows, again covers for 2. Scotty brings Tajiri up, Tajiri scores kick to gut, snapmare, goes off ropes, hits dropkick, Scotty down. Tajiri backflips, sends knees into Scotty’s chest, covers for 2. Tajiri scores SICK sounding dropkick to back of Scotty’s head. Tajiri brings Scotty up, sets him on ropes, lays in chop, Scotty responds in kind, Tajiri scores knee to gut, Scotty into corner. Tajiri connects with boot to gut, brings Scotty out of corner, attempts to shoot him off ropes, reversed, Tajiri off ropes, Scotty scores tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, good for 2. Scotty brings Tajiri up, shoots him off ropes, Scotty sets for backdrop, Tajiri scouts it, scores boot to face. Tajiri tries clothesline, Scotty ducks, Tajiri off ropes, goes for handspring elbow, Scotty scouts it, attempts to lock in full nelson, Tajiri evades, Scotty scores a kick, Tajiri misses one, both men score clotheslines, both go down. Both up at 5, Tajiri at ropes, Scotty misses clothesline, Tajiri goes behind, applies waistlock, Scotty heads toward ropes, drops to mat, momentum sends Tajiri through ropes and out of ring. Scotty to ropes, bends down to grab Tajiri, takes kick to face, goes down.

Tajiri goes to 2nd turnbuckle, goes for moonsault, Scotty evades, Tajiri to mat. Both up slowly, Scotty gets ‘the look’, goes off ropes, tries for bulldog, Tajiri ducks, Scotty puts on brakes, Tajiri goes for kick, Scotty catches his boot, Tajiri ducks forearm. Tajiri tries for Tarantula, Scotty quickly counters, cinches in waistlock, Tajiri elbows out, goes off ropes, Scotty goes for tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, Tajiri evades, rolls Scotty up for the 1-2-3! Cool match!

Winner and still Cruiserweight Champ: Tajiri.

Cole and Tazz hype tomorrow nights Raw to end the show. Remember, our good buddy Goldust will be revealing the identity of his target tomorrow night.

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