WWF RAW 11/29/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
The Wedding Episode! It will be interesting to see what changes occur after this. Ratings shot up to a 6.5 while Nitro fell to a 3.1.
Match 1: Big Show and Kane v. Big Bossman and Viscera
Show and Kane start strong. Show chases off Bossman. Pac helps Viscera win. Pac spits on Tori and kicks her.
DUD. Terrible fucking angle.
DX comes out. HHH talks about how Vince declared war and his restraining order against him. Vince took it too far and made it personal. HHH babbles for an hour. He finally gets to the points. No wedding. Here comes Vince who mocks DX for restraining him and at the PPV he will have some HHH’s blood on his hands. After his name will be Game Over. Test wanted to beat up HHH as a present. He gots it. The remainder will face Mankind and the Rock. If they interfere in the wedding they will be fired on the spot.
Snow is talking to Head about the Rock and does not seem to like him.
Match 2: Matt Hardy v. Edge
Push these guys! They are flying around the ring and, superplex by Matt and now he goes back up top but is crotched by Edge who goes up after him and Matt is kicked off and into the apron. Matt flips out on top of Edge and now all four are involved and hammering each other. Edge spears Matt and it is over.
**1/2 Not bad.
Steph is still partying, drinking with her girlfriends and they are talking about Vegas.
Chyna comes out and her thumb feels better after beating Jericho with the hammer. She wants him to come out because she can beat him one on one. Jericho comes out and welcomes us to RAW is Jericho. He calls her a jacked up mutant and then flabby. He cannot face her because he tried to face her fair and square and she attacked him with a hammer. He is screaming that she caused him headaches and all sorts of issues. She wants him to calm down and he keeps screaming so Kitty comes up from behind and sprays him with the extinguisher.
Partying in Vegas still. Footage from last night.
Match 3: Godfather v. Steve Blackman
Blackman hammers him before the bell. Godfather fights back and slams him and then hits the legdrop getting two. Blackman is up and kicks his head off and wins.
* Damn that was short. And lame.
Acolytles are playing cards and drinking. Playing against the Dudley Boyz. Bad news. Devon is embarrassed by Bubba and his shenanigans. Things are breaking down…..Farooq is talking smack about Bubba’s mom.
The party in Vegas is fucking HORRIBLE. They are trying to dance. Holy shit.
Mankind and Al Snow are bickering about the Rock. Al hates him.
Match 4: Too Cool v. Hollys
Rikishi decks Hardcore and Crash. In the ring Scotty does the worm and drops the elbow. Sexay hits a guillotine legdrop and it is over!
Hardcore is pissed and the fight is on. Hardcore is destroyed as Rikishi lends a helping hand.
A male stripper for the ladies in Vegas! Awesome!! Mae and Moolah take him.
HHH and Test are getting ready for their match.
Match 5: HHH v. Test
Test blindsides him from behind and the brawl is on. Test controls the first minute but HHH mounts a comeback and knocks him around. He drills him with a knee to the nose and now punches it and the stomps on it and he gets two. HHH applies a sleeper and Test slumps down.
Brisco and Patterson keep screaming at Vince to watch on the TV but apparently he is taking a growler. Yup….
Test powers out but lowers his head and is crushed via a DDT. HHH then stomps on his nuts. The ref is clearly Vince. I just noticed that. The ref is wearing a mask. A Vince mask. Jesus. Test fires back and knocks HHH around. He kicks him in the gut and goes for the Meltdown but HHH counters out only to be backsuplexed.Test goes up top so HHH rolls to the floor and lures him out and hammers him. He goes for a chair but is stopped. Back in the ring Test kicks him only to eat a knee to the face. That would have pinned Test? Ref refuses to count and so HHH decks him and tries to take his mask off. Shane comes down and blasts HHH with a chair and Test finishes him from the top with an elbow.
**1/2 Nice, long match. Weak ending.
More from Vegas. A shot of liquor is brought to Steph and she begs off but she is convinced to do it and does so!
The EMT from SD who was pushed into the gravy comes out. Here name is Barbara Bush. Cole is in the ring with her. She can barely speak. She is upset with what happened on SD. The logic of the WWF: She challenges Ivory to an Evening Gown Match. Fucking “A” and she wants to be called BB. Ivory comes out and makes fun of her calling her a bimbo. Ivory takes off her top. Why not! She tears off BB’s. Fucking terrible.
Vince assures the police he was in the back taking a shit and asks if the police can smell it. My God.
Bridesmaids are getting ready.
Match 6: Val Venis v. Kurt Angle
Kurt is pissed that fans are cheering for a porn star over an Olympic hero. Val attacks but it is short lived and Kurt clotheslines him to the floor and then whips him into the steps. Back in the ring he puts Val into a sleeper but Val escapes and nails him with some running knees and gets two after a Russian sweep. Now he slams him and goes up top but is crotched by Bulldog and Kurt superplexes him off and gets two. Kurt works him over and finishes him with the Angle Slam.
Best men are getting ready.
Al Snow is still bitching about the Rock. Rock hears it and he calls him a janitor and talks about him cleaning piss. He is baffled that his name is Al! He goes over his own accolades and wonders why he would team with Al. Rock wants Al to stick a hockey stick up his candy ass and leaves. Mankind tells Al that they will not be partners tonight but will go to Disneyland.
Match 7: DX v. Mankind and Kane and the Rock
Ass and Kane start off. Ass belts him from behind but Kane does not put up those shenanigans and hammers him. Here comes Mankind and Road Dogg. Mankind beats him down and tosses him to the floor and then beats up X Pac too before thrusting Dogg into the steps. But he turns into a heel kick from Pac and is rolled back into Ass who pummels him in the corner. Al is watching in the back and thinks Mick needs him and departs. Well, he needs somebody as he is getting demolished, now by Pac. Ass is back in and Mankind is whipped into the corner and sandwiched. Here comes Pac and he goes for the Buster but leaps into the Claw. Rock gets the hot tag and he unloads on everyone. Rock hits the Rock Bottom and he has the win and Snow runs in with Head causing the DQ! Rock is pissed and beats up poor Snow. Rock gives him the Rock Bottom as Mankind checks on his poor friend.
** Not much happened but it did the job.
Poker. Bubba is stuttering and there is some name calling still. Farooq is making fun of his stutter. Devon is trying to keep peace.
Whoa! Linda is showing off some nice breasts. Man, I have issues but she is looking fine. I would have voted for her had she dressed like that during the campaign!
Then men are all tuxed up.
Poker again. Bubba is betting it all. Bubba has six aces! Devon is just baffled and of course the fight is on! They are brawling all over the room.
Wedding time! Stephanie looks fine after a long night’s drinking. They are having it in the ring. Everyone walked down first….Bridesmaids and Best Men. Oh, who cares. Where is the fight! They actually have a song. A horrible one. They are about to say their vows but HHH comes out and is showing some footage of DX in Vegas. They are going up to a drive up wedding place. Stephanie is in the car passed out! The wedding people are all for it despite that as he has rings and the money. HHH asks her to speed it up. HHH is forced to claim he loves her all the days of his life and he places the ring on her. The woman is falling for HHH acting like Steph. Jesus. He keeps speeding it along and finally gets out of there. Steph is bawling and Vince’s expression is priceless! HHH brags about consummating the marriage…..We fade.
**1/2 It was the ending that made the show. This was a clever angle. Sure we could poke many holes in it but whatever, it was damn funny. The acting was well done too. Oh, how it will become a reality! The rise and never fall of HHH officially begins for better and mostly for worse (in my current uneducated opinion). Still, it has potential. The rest of the show was average. Again, it was by the numbers. The BS seems to be lessening. Still Show is booked as a nobody. Mankind is still floating about. Chyna is not over as champ. Kane and Tori makes me want to drink Drano and the BB angle was absolutely horrific. Still, the good outweighs the bad, for now, but not by much.