WWF RAW 12/27/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
DX with Steph come down. HHH takes an hour to talk about the last RAW of the millennium and how he will get the title. Big Show will get in the ring with the single greatest athlete in the WWF and the greatest of all time and that is the Game. Steph now has the mic. She talks about Kane and Tori. X Pac is not happy that he has to face Kane. HHH calms him down. Now to Mankind and how there will be no Union….No shit, say what you will about Unions and they have been rightfully and wrongfully demonized, they do have major benefits and wrestling would clearly benefit. Anyway, here comes Mankind. He talks about becoming WWF champ an DX carrying him around last year but now they are gutless cowards running around like children. He goes after each one, insulting them. Mr. Ass is an ass kisser and Pac is going to be thrown to the wolves. Mankind continues that HHH does not care about them. He gets in the ring and is assaulted and the Rock makes the save. HHH is not happy and has some plans for them and the fans jeer. Tonight will be the last of the Rock and Sock Connection. Mick and Rock will fight tonight. Something on a pole match and being fired, the loser.
Did FF too far? Holly and Chyna brawl and it ends in some sort of DQ as Kitty has come out. I will be honest. I do not care.
Speaking of not caring: Kane and Tori. She is more manly than he! She hugs him and wants to tell him all about her weekend. Oh shit, Kane, run for the fucking hills. When a woman wants to tell you all about her weekend, the sex is done and the pain has begun! She claims she had a great time and was treated well but stayed for Kane or some shit. Kane is not happy. She leaves to get water is scared of Test and runs and he is confused….
Match 1: Dudleys v. Acolytes v. Godfather and D’Lo v. Edge and Christian
Posse are ref and one is ring announcer. Brown nearly pins Bubba Ray. Match ends quickly. Fast count. Chaos at the end.
*1/2 RAW is as bad as Nitro in the wrestling category so far.
Acolytes use a chair on the Posse.
Tori is freaking out as Kane whines for her to calm down. WORST ANGLE EVER. She claims Test keeps looking at her etc. I cannot express how bad this is. I think she accused him of touching her. Great, make it seem that women make up stuff all the time like with Chazz when rape is a real issue. FUCKING STUPID.
HHH and Steph are in the back and she is not happy with HHH when he brings up Angle and a handicap match. Kane runs in and wants Test. Tori is shaking and claims she was violated….
Match 2: Kurt Angle v. Headbangers
Kurt makes fun of the crowd. My God, this lasted about a minute. Blackman came down. Angle wins. Now Headbangers destroy both.
HHH is not happy that Blackman interfered. Steph talks how great Angle is like HHH….He is jealous.
Mankind talks about his match later tonight.
Match 3: Al Snow v. Chris Jericho (c) for WWF IC Title
The screen goes dark and some music interrupts Al…Like happened earlier in the month. Al has the mic and he has been in the business 17 years. He bitches for a while and how he hates the fans. Jericho interrupts. He wants Al to shut the hell up and how everyone will remember this as the night he got beat up….Jericho can barely get in the ring! He is attacked and the bell rings.
Jericho is rolled up for two. Jericho fires back and dumps him to the floor. He goes after him and rolls him back into the ring only to be greeted with stomps. Snow Plow. Chyna wastes Snow….
*1/2 Started great. Another horrible finish. Way to make the IC champ weak.
Moolah is haranguing Harvey Whippleman for something and Mark Henry is there….I am fading. This show is so Goddamn bad.
Match 4: Mankind v. Rock
Contract on a Pole!! Oh boy! Actually this may save the show. The first two minutes are good. Al Snow interferes. Mankind could win but takes out Al instead and turns right into a Rock Bottom. Al leaves, screaming….Rock heads up the pole and is uppercutted in the nuts. Mankind hammers him. Rock avoids a clothesline but not the DDT. Socko! They head up top and battle and Mankind is knocked to the floor and Rock wins.
** Why have interference? Why short change a match where Foley is supposed to “retire?”
Mankind talks about how it sucks having to retire but he hopes that he is remembered. DX is making fun of him in the back.
People wish Mankind well in his future endeavors.
Match 5: Kat and Val Venis v. Viscera and Jackie v. PA and Ivory v. Gangrel and Luna
Holy shit. This was a mess. Val is pinned by Albert.
Harvey is on a double date and tells Moolah in a poem that her breath is bad.
Mankind is actually goodbye to producers.
Match 6: X Pac v. Jeff Hardy
They have been flying around the ring. Pac is sent to the floor but Hardy misses a corkscrew moonsault and now Pac goes to work. After a fast legdrop he gets two. Hardy fights back and sends him to the corner. He yanks him down by his hair and moonsaults on top of him. They fight to the floor and Hardy leaps and is nailed. Pac goes for Terri and is assaulted and she gets down on all fours and Jeff leaps off her and into Pac and now an enzuguri. Senton Bomb and Pac barely gets his shoulder up. Pac nuts him and finishes him with X Factor.
**1/2 Best match of the night. Not sure why X Pac is still winning.
More from the double date. It devolves into a brawl with Mae decking Harvey.
Match 7: Kane v. Test
Test swears he did not touch her and then says she needs Midol so gets his ass kicked. Have I mentioned how terrible this angle is. Test gets run over by the steel steps after jawing with Tori. DQ but Test is Tombstoned.
*1/2 for the match. -10000 for the angle.
She beats on Test after the match.
Mankind tells the Stooges and Sarge he is leaving and gives hugs all around.
DX all happy in their locker room. Steph wants Mankind out of here.
Cole is with Show. He may not be the champ after tonight. Poor Show. Worst booked champ since the Wars began. DDP was pretty bad but he was a fighting champ. Oh, Nash. But at least they were involved in the uppercard. Show is just filling space.
Here come the Outlaws.
Match 8: Outlaws (c) v. Too Cool for WWF Tag Titles
Not bad. Sexay has the win. X Pac cheats and Outlaws win.
** Despise DX.
Rikishi destroys Outlaws. Now it is fight and X Pac gets squashed! Outlaws flee. It is dance time.
Mankind is told to leave. Mankind does with his head held low.
Moolahand Whippleman had sex. Fuck me.
Match 9: Big Show (c) v HHH for WWF Title
Show starts strong and they head to the floor. HHH fights back and shoves him into the post and then flings him into the steps. Back in the ring, Show takes him out and then misses from the top rope. Here comes DX and they blast him with the WWF belt and the ref is rolled back into the ring and Show barely gets his shoulder up. HHH argues and walks into a sideslam. Show takes out DX with punches and then crushes a running HHH with a powerslam. He covers him but Outlaws pull him out and hammer him…
Steph strolls towards the ring. Show is mobbed but Mankind comes in with a chair and takes out HHH and he is chokeslammed and Show wins!
** Not too bad. Show looked decent too.
* It was close to a DUD but a couple of the matches were average or above. But other than that this fucking thing was a near abortion of a show. Terrible. The Tori and Mae angles are awful. Chyna’s is too. Just some horrible stuff going on now and they do not let the tag teams or Angle or Jericho do what they do best and that is wrestle.