WWF RAW 12/8/1997

Written by: Matt Peddycord

WWF: Raw is War
December 8, 1997
Portland, ME
Portland Civic Center

The current WWF champs are as follows:
World Champion: Shawn Michaels (11/9/1997)
Intercontinental Champion: Steve Austin (11/9/1997)
World Tag Team Champions: Road Dogg & Billy Gunn (11/24/1997)
European Champion: Shawn Michaels (9/20/1997)
Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku (12/7/1997)

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Jim Ross, Michael Cole, and Kevin Kelly.

Vince McMahon is here to talk about Stone Cold Steve Austin. He tells us that Austin has put all the WWF fans in attendance in DANGER by driving a pickup truck into the arena. McMahon then explains all the shenanigans that went on last night during the Austin/Maivia IC title match. Since it was so over the top and the wrong ref counted the pinfall, Vince orders an IC title rematch to take place here tonight. Well, obviously this brings out Stone Cold to respond to this news. Some agents and referees surround the ring in case Austin is feeling froggy. Austin tells Vince that nobody orders him to do anything. However, the consequences will be DIRE if Austin doesn’t defend the IC championship tonight. Austin isn’t afraid of the consequences, but somebody will get their ass kicked tonight. It might be Jim Ross. It might be a referee. It might even be Vince McMahon. Who knows. Either way, Austin will let us know later to keep the ratings high. Austin is a MAD MAN.

Karate Fighters Tournament Finals: Jerry Lawler versus Sunny. Naturally, Lawler cheats to win. The evidence shows up on the instant replay though and the decision gets reversed. We then see some sleaze ball dig deeper into the controversy than is really necessary. It’s like 2015 over here!

The Legion of Doom vs. The Godwinns (w/Road Dogg & Billy Gunn)
LOD got screwed by Road Dogg and Billy Gunn again last night, so they are in a foul mood for sure. Speaking of the tag champs, they are out here just to be a distraction. The Road Warriors dominate until Hawk missing a flying clothesline to Phineas. The match breaks down on the floor as Animal gets posted by both Godwinns. Uh oh, the lights go out and here comes KANE led by Paul Bearer. (2:30) You wouldn’t think Kane would be any match for the Legion of Doom. He gives Hawk a piledriver and of course Hawk NO-SELLS. Kane then goozles him anyway and delivers a Chokeslam to set up a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER. Well, that’ll keep Hawk down. I’m sure Hawk thinks Vince was trying to ruin his career here. Once Kane and Bearer leave, the tag champs pounce on Hawk like a pack of wolves until Animal scares them away with a chair. ½*

When we come back, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn are still in the ring wearing their super trendy South Park t-shirts. Road Dogg is on the mic telling us that they just showed they have no real competition left in the WWF. This leads to an open challenge to which Dude Love answers the call. Road Dogg – “I said one guy! Not three!”

Billy Gunn vs. Dude Love
Nevertheless, Gunn BUM RUSHES THE SHOW and attacks Dude on the floor. Road Dogg grabs a fourth headset on the commentary table. In the ring, Dude avoids a Stinger Splash and mounts his comeback 70s style with punches and a backdrop. He bounces Gunn’s head off the turnbuckle ten times and sets up for SWEET SHIN MUSIC. Gunn sweeps the leg to counter and hits a Famouser. From out of nowhere, Dude lands the DOUBLE-ARM DDT for the pinfall. (3:39) Road Dogg won’t stand for this. He hops in the ring and blasts Dude in the head with a chair. YEEE-OUCH. If that wasn’t enough, Road Dogg lays the tag belts on Dude’s face as Gunn leaps off the top rope and legdrops the belts. You better believe there will be hell to pay. *

In the back, we hear from Rocky Maivia and the Nation of Domination. Well, the NOD just sort of stand there. Even Faarooq already plays second fiddle to this man. Kama is wearing a BWF t-shirt. Whatever that is. Rocky says that Rock 911 is what it’s all about. Not this Austin 3:16 garbage. He will leave Portland the IC champ. After all, he is the Best Damn Intercontinental Champion There Ever Was.

Talk turns to the WWF Light Heavyweight title tournament final from last night where TAKA Michinoku defeat Brian Christopher to become the first champion. They show a pissed off Brian Christopher from after the match. Vengeance is coming.

Jim Cornette brings out the NEW WWF Light Heavyweight champion TAKA Michinoku for an interview. Jim Ross has been teaching him some American phrases like “slobberknocker” for example. An upset Jerry Lawler interrupts and gets a little jingoistic on poor TAKA due to the outcome his son’s match last night. He asks TAKA to speak one word of English. When he does, that word is “you jackass”. Lawler takes off the crown and jacket. He’s ready to fight. Cornette tries to keep Lawler at bay and introduces TAKA’s first challenger: El Unico. He’s just a dude in a mask. Lawler tells El Unico to go back where he came from, which gets him shoved down. When TAKA thinks El Unico is on his side, El Unico drills TAKA from behind. El Unico takes off the mask to reveal Brian Christopher. WELL WHO WOULD HAVE EVER KNOWN? He and Lawler put the boots to TAKA just for fun before they give him a Spike Piledriver. If this were Memphis TV, you’d never see TAKA again. The Piledrivers continue until refs and agents come to the rescue.

We see a video package entitled: The Destruction of the Hart Foundation. Shawn Michaels cheated the British Bulldog out of the WWF European title in front of his own countrymen back in September, he screwed Bret Hart out of the WWF title in front of his own countrymen back in November, and two weeks ago he made Jim Neidhart look like a fool by making him think DX wanted him in their group only to have Chyna give him a low blow in front of everybody on worldwide TV and spray paint WCW on his back. Owen Hart returned last night at the PPV to tear Shawn a new one. Now that he’s gained his revenge, we may never see Owen Hart again seemingly ending the Hart Foundation’s presence in the WWF.

Kurrgan the Interrogator (w/The Jackyl) vs. Flash Funk
This is the first time he’s been called Kurrgan. They come out to some really annoying music. He is no longer wearing the fatigues of the Truth Commission here. Not a whole lot Flash can do with this man. Kurrgan NO-SELLS everything and puts Flash down with the HEAD CLAW at 2:26. When he won’t release the hold, Sniper and Recon head down to get him off Flash. Apparently no one told them that the Truth Commission are finished. They get shoved away and look pretty scared of Kurrgan. The ref even reverses the decision disqualifying Kurrgan. It takes a slap across the face from Jackyl to break the hold. He and Kurrgan have a big laugh and leave Recon and Sniper alone in the ring.

We get some still shots of the HBK/Shamrock match from last night and a post-match response from Shamrock. IT AIN’T OVER. No, it is brah.

ENTER THE WARZONE! Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler.

As seems to be tradition, if the first hour starts with Austin then we start the second hour with DX and vice versa. DX has a card table set up in the ring. Hunter Hearst Helmsley calls out to Sgt. Slaughter and calls him pathetic. He makes another joke about Slaughter’s wife. Looks like Chyna has a t-shirt to sell these days. Now over to Shawn Michaels. Looks like Ken Shamrock wasn’t dangerous enough to take out HBK. HBK is still the showstopper, the headliner, the main event, the TRUE icon of the WWF, and the only Grand Slam winner in the history of the WWF. Talk turns to Owen Hart. DX is personally responsible for ridding the WWF of the Hart Foundation. Shawn compares the Hart family to human feces. Even after a good flush, there’s always that one little nugget that won’t go all the way down the toilet. Owen is that nugget. Shawn shoots out a challenge to Owen. He and DX won’t leave until Owen comes out here. They were just going to play poker, but Shawn promised to get naked on TV about a month ago. Chyna whispers to Shawn that they should play STRIP poker, so here we go. So they sit down and start to play a hand of poker. Shawn takes off his shirt as the Disciples of Apocalypse ride down to the ring for the next match.

The Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas
The card game moves down to the floor. It’s just a 2-on-2 tag as there’s no Chainz this week. Savio Vega and Jesus Castillo are on the floor. One of the DOA guys play face in peril. Ross calls him 8-Ball, but it could be Skull. HOW DO YOU KNOW? The match breaks down once the hot tag comes and Miguel receives a double-team Spinebuster. Cover, 1-2-NO! With the match out of control, Savio sneaks in and whacks one of the bald bikers with a 2×4 in back of the knee. Miguel covers him and the ref turns around to count the pinfall. (4:45) This match got the most time tonight, folks. ¾*

When we return from commercial, the strip poker game is back in the ring now. Shawn just lost his pants. The Headbangers head down for their match and aren’t too pleased when DX remains in the ring. When the Headbangers turn the table over, Mosh gets blasted with a beer bottle while Helmsley and Chyna beat Thrasher into a corner. HHH sits up in the corner while HBK and Chyna hand over Thrasher for a POWERBOMB THROUGH THE CARD TABLE. ECW! ECW! ECW! The carnage continues until Owen Hart arrives and gets a few punches on Shawn until Helmsley runs him off through the crowd. Interesting how different the direction of the WWF could have been if the Royal Rumble main event was Owen versus Shawn instead of Taker versus Shawn.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Vader
The bell rings and down comes Goldust and Luna Vachon looking crazy as usual. Goldust is wearing a black wig and opens his trench coat to “flash” Vader. That’s all the motivation Vader needs as he chases Goldust and Luna back through the curtain as Jarrett wins via countout and touts about still being undefeated. (:41)

Salvatore Sincere vs. Marc Mero
After insulting Butterbean, Mero turns his attention to Sincere and points out that he’s Tom Brandi and should be ashamed of himself for embracing a stupid gimmick. JR – “Yeah, and I’m a bad man!” Mero brings out his property Sable. She’s wearing a potato sack and Mero thinks she looks marvelous. Mero calls Brandi a jobber he’s about to beat up and tells Sable to disrobe him first. Instead, Sable takes off her potato sack and shows us a bikini that leaves almost nothing to the imagination. Mero is PISSED and covers up his wife as they scurry backstage. Sincere wins by countout just like in the last match. Yep. (:44)

WWF Intercontinental Champion Steve Austin vs. Rocky Maivia
Vince McMahon and the agents are at ringside to make sure this thing happens without any craziness. Austin comes out in t-shirt and jeans – clearly choosing not to wrestle. After Austin had his hot dog and some Steveweisers, he decided he won’t wrestle because he’s already beaten Rocky Maivia last night at the PPV. Well then, Vince will just have to strip Austin of the IC title and give it to the Rock then. Since he’s already been IC champion, Austin doesn’t really care because now the only title he’s interested in is the WWF title. Austin forfeits the IC title and hands it over to the Rock. He wants a handshake, too. Austin – “Trust me, champ.” They shake hands and Austin lifts Rock’s arm in victory. Just as Rocky thinks all is well, Austin drops him with the STONE COLD STUNNER. DTA, ROCK. DON’T TRUST ANYBODY. Austin picks up the IC belt and tells Vince that he’s got plans for the belt next week. Just tune in same Stone Cold time, same Stone Cold channel. It looks like the show is over here. As Austin celebrates with the crowd, he starts running the ropes and knocks Vince off the apron. Whoops. The agents come swarming over to help up Vince. It was an accident! Even so, Vince is LIVID.

Stone Cold Steve Austin is clearly the Obi Wan Kenobi in this dying federation. He is their only hope.

Good night, everybody!

BELL TO BELL TIME: 14:45.