WWF RAW 2/13/1999

Written by: Kevin Kildenberger

WWF Saturday Night RAW 2/13/99

The go home show to an surprisingly solid looking PPV on paper. Well, usually the WWF has some above average PPV’s, despite RAW being fairly lame lately. Not much wrestling, not very many good storylines going. Too much McMahon shit and then there is the Ministry, which could be the worst angle I have ever witnessed; yes it is up there with the Dungeon of Doom.There are over 40000 fans in the Skydome.

Austin comes out and he has to face Mankind in a non-title match; he has nothing but respect for Mick Foley. He turns to Vince and he tells him exactly what he is going to do with him at the PPV. Some not very nice things. The fans are rabid and here comes Mick Foley! The fans are going nuts. Mankind heard the word bloodshed and he is thinking of going cage side to get some of Vince’s blood on his white shirt. He fully intends to be the last man standing and at WM Austin will be looking in these eyes. 50000 Toronto fans want to see somebody get their ass kicked; it could be either one of them but someone will take one hell of a beating. He reminds Austin that he is the WWF champion until he is not. Here comes the Corporation with Rock in the lead. Rock needs to set both their candy asses straight. This Sunday the Rock plans on making Mankind’s death wish come true. Rock talks about smackdown and jabronis and Rock got some millions this time from the audience. Mankind will realize the Rock is the great one and the chosen one. Rock is the best damn WWF champ there ever was. Rock wants Vinny Mac to set Austin straight. He is drowned out by chants of asshole! Vince talks about no chance in hell (like his theme song) and he ties it into the Royal Rumble and his victory. Vince is so confident that he will be announced the winner and he has a better guarantee for Austin and that is not one Coroporate member will interfere in the cage match. He assures everyone he knows what he is doing. Austin will be bloodied and will never be the same again. The guest referee for the Mankind v. Austin match will himself….

Shit: The Ministry will interfere tomorrow. FUCK!

Mark Henry is watching Debra from a monitor as she lotions herself up.

Match 1: D’Lo Brown v. Jeff Jarrett

Brown is trying to keep Mark Henry focused for their tag title match tomorrow and to get Debra out of his mind. She will do whatever he wants whenever and here comes Ivory. A bit manly if you ask me but beggars cannot be choosers.

They are going back and forth and D’Lo dropkicks him and then hits him in the head. Owen grabs Brown’s leg and JJ takes him down and puts him in the Figure Four. Ivory runs distraction into the ring and D’Lo finishes him with a spinebuster.

DUD

Now a cat fight as Debra is unhappy with Ivory and the hair pulling begins.

They show Val Venis in a Skydome hotel room and he is with Shamrock’s sister! The towels are tossed off.

Here comes Val and if that is really Shamrock’s sister then holy shit, she is smoking. I mean it is downright illegal how hot she is. It is not his sister but will return in WCW as Symphony with the Maestro!

Val talks about his upcoming match with Shamrock and out he comes beating up Val and some referees. He puts one in an Ankle Lock and now the ring is cleared out.

In the back Ryan is rubbing the back of Val and he is going to end it tonight.

Match 2: Goldust v. Gillberg

He goes to spear Goldust and he bounces off and is clotheslined. Goldust runs him down with a running lariat. He is about to finish him off and Blue Dust shows up all in blue and naked on the TitanTron and he mocks Goldust and that allows Gillberg to roll him up for the win…..Now Goldust beats his ass and the lights go out and there are blue lights and when they come back on Goldust is covered in blue….

Jesus.

Earl Hebner has decided that no referee will ref the match between Shamrock and Val and that will lead to forfeit unless he can find a ref.

Here comes DX. HHH asks if Chyna wants to be a man and play in a man’s world but she is not carrying a bat. He makse fun of her some more. His arrow will hit the mark. X Pac now and he is yelling about making Shane bleed and tells him to not sing it and to bring it. Road Dogg and he does his thing the drunk Canadians cannot follow along! Road Dogg talks about his match against Al. Gunn is sad that he is not involved in the PPV despite being the number one contender for the IC belt. Therefore he will be the ref and Road Dogg asks if he is applying for a job at Foot Locker and Gunn calls him a dumbass and states he is the ref.

Here comes Vince in a youth medium ref vest. Sweet Lord he looks a tad fruity….not that there is anything wrong with that.

Match 3: Mankind (c) v. Steve Austin
Non-title match. Austin goes nose to nose with Vince. Vince brings both together and he does not want handshakes and all the rules are out the window. He goes over some stuff that they can do and show the world that they are Neanderthal animals. Steve agrees that someone is going to get their ass kicked but it will not be him or Mankind. Mankind slowly gets Socko ready and it finally dawns on Vince and he turns into the Claw. The Corporation comes down and it promptly dismantled. Austin tears apart the Rock and Shamrock and they both take out Kane.

NR.

Vince has come back out after the commercial. He is not happy and therefore Austin will run a gauntlet.

Here comes the Ho’s along with the Godfather.

Match 4: Godfather v. Viscera

Mideon is at the announce table. He has a jar with an eye in it that sees everything. Viscera is dominating. But he runs into a boot and now the Godfather clobbers him but it is doing little. A flying tackle takes him off his feet and here comes Mideon and the match is thrown out….Jesus.

DUD. What the fuck is going on?

Godfather is down and he is crushed by two Viscera splashes.

Val and Shamrock are fighting and  Billy Gunn joins in and they are finally pulled apart.

Match 5: X Pac (c) v. Kane

Pac fends him off with a boot but Kane shrugs him off and beats his ass. Kane tosses him across the ring and Pac fights back but is choked out. Kane drops him to the floor and hammers him. But Pac fights back. Back in the ring Pac takes control. But Chyna runs in and hits him and once again it is over. Pac is getting dismantled and bodyslammed by Chyna. She goes for the Pedigree and HHH shoves Kane into her and Kan is knocked to the floor. Kane saves Chyna who is not pretty when she is angry.

*

Road Dogg is laid out and paramedics are checking on him. He is bloody around the ear. He keeps mumbling Billy.

Al Snow comes down declaring himself the crown prince of hardcore and we (Head too) do not like to be  stabbed in the back. There will be no waiting until Sunday and challenges anyone. No one comes down so he has one with himself and beats himself up. I am not making this up. He sprays an extinguisher into his face and then moonsaults on to a table. Bob Holly comes down and he is baffled. Al shoves him off and then hits him and leaves the ring. Holly attacks him from behind and mauls him for a couple of mintues. Al just grins as he gets pummeled. He is hit with objects and finally they are pulled apart.

Kevin Kelly asks Droz why he hates the Oddities. Droz asks Kevin if he is a punk or looks like one. Kevin says no but Kevin called him one last week. Kevin apologizes but is beat up until Blackman knocks Droz back.

Match 6: Steve Blackman v. the Rock

Jesus the Rock is getting an enormous reception. Rock starts strong but Blackman shoves him into the corner retaliating. But once the ref forces the break he is nailed and then clotheslined. Rock chokes him out using the middle rope. Rock misses off the whip and now Blackman tees off with punches and forearms. Now Rock ducks and DDT’s him. Elbow time! He goes to the announce table instead and brags. He goes back into the ring and his suplex is reversed. Blackman runs him over with an elbow and now a shoulder tackle. He hangs himself on the top rope with a kick and it is Rock Bottom time! Now the Elbow…..Jesus the roof is blowing off this place.

**1/2 Rock got a clean win!

Match 7: Austin Gauntlet

Shamrock starts off and he gets hammered but comes back and strikes back with kicks and punches. He takes him down and goes for the Lock but is shrugged off and Austin Stuns him. But Test runs in and assaults Austin. I LOVE the “You screwed Bret” chants towards Vince. Now Test is is Stunned and here comes Kane to continue the punishment. Austin tries to fight back but after some back and forth Kane chokeslams him and gets two. Kane goes after him again but he too is Stunned. Chyna runs in and nuts him but she is Stunned. Now Bossman runs in and he hammers Steve. Chokes him out on the ropes. Austin counters with a sleeper but Bossman escapes and he uses the nightstick with alacrity. Now Vince comes in and finishes off Austin off getting the win. Vince pours beer on him and the rest of the Corporation holds him as he dumps a beer on him.

** I am just kind of tired of Austin kicking everyone’s ass. However he is over; I mean really over. It sets up the PPV though the Corporation looked like chumps.

*1/2 WCW gets flack for teased main events or a couple of shows with limited wrestling. I would like to enter this as Defense Exhibit A…..very little wrestling and no Mankind match. Surprised he did not run down at the end. It did set up the PPV but nothing of note was really done. There were some solid promos but I want more wrestling…..The extra half star for the rocking crowd. Goddamn were they hot.

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