WWF RAW 7/26/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
The PPV was ho-hum. I have said this over and over. It is like beating a dead horse, but there is far too much going on in the WWF and far too little wrestling and the same storylines have gotten quite stale. Nitro got a 3.4 while RAW received an astounding 7.1 off of a 6.9 and 7.3.
UT is beating on Pac in the back. Road Dogg runs in and gets chokeslammed. Pac is beating down to the ring and rolled into it where he continues to beat him mercilessly. An explosion and here comes Kane. It is a slobberknocker! They are hammering each other but Kane gets the upperhand and unloads on him. Down goes the Undertaker. Show comes in and wallops Kane but gets smacked in the head. Kane tries to fend off both men and has initial success but he is overwhelmed and destroyed. They stomp on him in the corner as well as choke him out. The fans chant for Austin as Kane get pummeled. Show and UT shake hands and depart. Kane snuggles a dead X Pac hoping he is okay. He is not.
A limo has arrived. Vince is here, not gone yet per the stipulation.
During the break Kane tried to help a dead Pac and bellows in anguish. Christ this is bad. Pac leaves on an ambulance.
Holly comes down and knocks out the ring announcer. He will be the ring announcer, because he can. He is introducing someone but it is hard to here what he is saying over Edge and Christian’s music.
Match 1: Edge and Christian v. Acolytes (c) for WWF Tag Titles
Bradshaw and Edge hammer one another for a minute. Edge ducks a blow and runs him over. Here comes Christian who promptly runs into a big boot. Farooq gets the tag. Both men are down and both make the tag. Edge takes out both men and Christian leaps off him but is caught and given a fall away slam. Gangrel pulls Christian out of harms way. Acolytes doubleteam Edge and win.
** Too short.
Holly gets beat up. Kane comes down and takes out all three. Edge too! Kane has the mic. I think he wants a piece of his brother and Show.
Shamrock again is getting medical help and again he is yelling at them to not touch him. They pan to some footage, an ambulance was leaving and Blackman backs over Shamrock and then leaves (Obviously the ambulance was Pac’s.).
Vince is waddling in the back as is Austin…..Here comes a somber looking Vince. Amidst asshole chants Vince proclaims that he never lied and fulfilled all his promises. Vince is bitter that he is with the regular, beer swilling fans. The fans do not want to see him leave like this so he will give you us a more formal farewell. The fans call him an asshole. He wants the fans to see him like he is right now….I guess sad and bitter. Here comes Austin. Vince has something to say to Austin and takes an hour to spit out that he thinks he is the better man. He briefly tries to backpedal but keeps going….Austin takes his mic and goes off on Vince who thinks he is so great because of his power and money. Austin tells him that he can stick him up his ass. He threatens Vince but before beating him up he calls up JR telling him hurry his ass up. Austin wants JR to lead a song in saying to Vince. The fans do so with alacrity and a bitter Vince leaves but not before he gets flipped off. Vince stops at the entrance and flips off Austin in one last act of defiance. Beer time for Austin and JR.
Vince heads back to his limo. Finkel wants to say goodbye and thanks him for everything. He loves him and Vince tells him to get the hell away from him.
Match 2: Val Venis and Godfather v. Prince Albert and Droz
Droz plows into Val as Godfather and PA beat on each other. Godfather and PA are on the floor now brawling. Val is taking it to Droz. A big dude in all white attacks Godfather and is cuffed and stuffed. Back in the ring PA gets crushed via the Ho Train and Val finishes him with the money shot.
** Way too short. Okay as a brawl.
Cole is with the Rock. He calls Cole an idiot. He takes the mic and goes off on HHH and Mr. Ass and he is going to take his lips and stick him up his candy ass. He thinks Chyna has a fetish for the Rock. She needs to get on her knees and pucker her lips, he tells her not to get excited. He is going to pucker his and get close to her and kick her teeth in. Cole has Rock’s shirt over his head and Rock asks why the mic smells and Cole puts his hand up to his mouth and gets it knocked into his face!
HHH knows he can beat Austin. He has watched him like a hawk for six months. HHH declares that Ventura or Chyna will be a factor. It is down to Austin and HHH, one on one, man to man. HHH continues for a minute and declares himself the Game. Chyna has the mic. Rock talks real tough from the back but does not have the balls to say it to her face. Here he comes! He is blindsided by Mr. Ass and all three pummel him and then leave. Rock staggers to his feet and if Ass has any balls, and he knows Chyna has balls then they will face him in a handicap match tonight.
Match 3: Undertaker and Big Show v. Kane
Show meets him up in aisle and pounds him. UT joins in. Inside the ring Kane tries to fight back and finally staggers Show with an impressive enzuguri. UT gets the tag and they slug it out. Kane is clotheslined to the floor and he lands on his feet. Show goes after him, grabs a chair but is kicked in the nuts. Kane knocks him loopy with a chair and UT eats on too. Kane rolls him back into the ring and Show distracts Kane. UT clocks him with the chair and the match is tossed. They assault Kane after the match and Road Dogg runs down but gets chokeslammed. They go back to work on Kane.
* When the subsequent beatdown is longer than the match we have a severe problem.
Debra is getting photos done and JJ stops that and claims he has an interview and makes her come with him to the ring. JJ talks some smack and wants Ben Stiller to get in the ring, the big movie star, I did mention him earlier I think, he is ringside and was introduced as loving the Puppies. JJ knows he is a Puppy lover and Debra looks smitten. He kisses Debra’s hand. JJ informs him that the Puppies are in the dog house, his dog house. Ben wanted to see some wrestling and calls JJ the best. Ben gets in a minute plug for his movie. JJ thanks him and wants to know who his favorite wrestler and he has two: The Puppies! JJ blindsides him and beats his ass. Ben is put in the Figure Four. D’Lo makes the save and helps out a downed Stiller as JJ and Debra argue to the back. D’Lo carries Ben to the back!
Austin is drinking coffee and pacing back and forth.
HHH is in the back and enters Austin’s locker room.
Match 4: Ivory v. Tory
This was less than a minute….maybe it was supposed to be an interview. Well the segment sucked as they fought and it was broken up.
HHH leaves Austin’s locker room…He was not in there but apparently the room was defaced.
Match 5: HHH v. Ken Shamrock
Shamrock does not appear. HHH has the mic, again, I guess the era of 20 minute HHH promos has begun. He was hoping to kick Ken’s ass and calls him a puss. Here he comes and he tackles HHH but that is about it as HHH brutalizes him. He knocks him to the floor where the assault continues. Back in the ring Shamrock is able to take him down and grab the ankle but HHH counters and then knees him in the head before going back to the stomping. Abstretch. HHH is flipped over but Shamrock cannot follow up and gets stomped on some more. HHH drives his shoulder into Ken and then takes him down in a bodyscissors. Again Shamrock is bleeding from his mouth. HHH punches him in the injured ribs over and over. Shamrock refuses to give up and the ref calls for it anyway declaring Ken unfit to continue.
** A put over match for HHH to make him look strong going into his title match.
HHH keeps beating him.
UT tells Cole that X Pac has been hospitalized and Kane is out of action.
Test ambushes Pete Gas and beats his ass. The other Posse make the save.
Match 6: Mr. Ass and Chyna v. the Rock
HHH is at the announce table.
Rock runs down and after a brief flurry gets manhandled. Gunn wearing see through trunks to show off his ass. He hits a splash in the corner. Rock charges out and clotheslines Ass but he knocked down and given a piledriver. Chyna is in and she punches away, Rock tries to fight back but is DDT’d. After the two count, Ass continues the offensive. Chyna is in and she is grabbed for the Rock Bottom. Ass makes the save and puts him in an abstretch. HHH has been threatening JR the entire time. Austin is watching from a monitor. Rock escapes and gets a two count after a DDT. Rock tears into him but HHH gets involved and he threatens JR again and he will kick Austin’s ass too. Rock is able to fight back but Chyna blindsides him and stomps on him a few times. Rock is snapped over and she drops the knee onto the head but misses the second one. HHH has had enough of JR and knocks him out. Austin runs down and knocks down Chyna for fun and the brawl between HHH and Austin is on. Rock is up and hits the Rock Bottom. He deleats Chyna. HHH is tossed through the table and clotheslined. Rock hits the Elbow and the match is over.
** Angle advancement.
**The show had a hot start but it only disguised the fact that it was still a McMahon centered show, at least for a bit. Nice to see HHH get elevated but his promos already get tiresome. Rock got a lot of focus as did JJ in a funny bit. No GTV or other nonsense but there was not enough wrestling.