WWF RAW 8/23/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Man, finally the WWF is getting good. A few good shows and a great PPV. There are less McMahons, or at least they are given less time on screen. Less dick jokes. Yes, the matches are short and there is a lot of nonsense. However, it is getting far more entertaining. I still think Edge and Christian should have won last night as that would have made them. Anyway they put on a great show. RAW was down this week to a 5.65 while Nitro got around a 3.0.
Mankind is supposed to come out. HHH is out instead. He is pissed. He did everything asked. He fought numerous number one contender matches. He was screwed by Ventura. The WWF is essentially holding him back, as they are afraid of him winning. He had Austin beat, and Mick Foley stole his thunder and he curses a lot (bleeped). He is happy that he crippled the Rattlesnake. He mocks Austin being laid out with his legs up in the air like a cheap prostitute. He is not happy with JR because Mankind and Austin are his boys. He thinks JR is enjoying this and now he is going to enjoy this. He takes him down by the arm. He tells Mankind to get out here or he will break his arm. Here he comes! He tells him to stop. He felt he was screwed and paybacks are a bitch. Mankind tells him that he can have a title shot if he lets him go. He wants it tonight. Mankind agrees. HHH breaks his arm and they do a belated cracking sound. But JR does a great job selling it and the arm is twisted. Mankind breaks his word and tells HHH to bring in. Here comes Shane. He is going to make Mankind keep his promise. HBK is not here so they will face off tonight.
JR is carted off in an ambulance.
Road Dogg comes out and the fans are fucking RILED! He does his thing and gets blasted from behind by Snow!
Match 1: Road Dogg v. Al Snow (c) for WWF Hardcore Title
Snow knocks him to the floor and nails him in the head with an object.
Cole is on commentary. Fuck.
They are on the floor still and a table is out and here comes Jericho as Snow is powerbombed through it. Jericho attacks Road Dogg but is knocked around and into the back. Bossman runs out and beats on Snow with the nightstick and takes Pepper!
** Angle advancement.
Jericho is getting in a few blows but is run into a trunk and then a fence. Bossman is leaving with Pepper in a car! Snow sprints after him.
Snow is asking around for the dog.
Match 2: Big Show and Undertaker (c) v. Acolytes for WWF Tag Titles
Acolytes just tear into Show, doubleteaming him and knocking him around. Pac and Kane are down at the announce table. Pac sounds drunk. Show clotheslines Farooq to the floor and UT throws him onto the table and he hits Kane! Now it has broken down and everyone is brawling. Pac is clotheslined by Show. Kane is down and getting his ass stomped.
*1/2 Angle advancement.
Blue Meanie who is in his house talking about the Blonde Bitch. It is a Blair Witch legend in Ames Iowa….they go to look but run into each other. Meanie had his jobs saved by the fans as they flooded Titan Towers with letters and Emails!
Lillian Garcia is the new ring announcer.
Test has the mic and he has some questions. He wants to pop the question and calls down Stephanie! She is happy and Shane is out and this will not happen. She is pissed and screeches at Shane that she is happy and wants to know why Shane wants to take this from him….damn she is annoying. Test tells her to ignore him and then he pops the question. She loves Andrew and looks at Shane and needs some time and hugs him. Shane looks like he lost Pepper! Test grunts that he understands.
Jericho yells at Fink that he does not need a fink but a warrior who will stand up for Y2J.
I forgot about this overbooked nonsense. JJ and he comes with Debra and Mark Henry. JJ thanks Henry and gives him the European belt! Now to his precious Debra. He loves the plan they had and thanks her for coming up with it. He has a special surprise for her, and agrees with the crowd that she has the Puppies. She needs some help and tonight she has Ms. Kitty! (Lawler’s future wife, and ex-wife, not sure if they are dating or married yet). She is really tiny but hot. He has an open contract out for the IC title.
Match 3: Mark Henry (c) v. Meat for WWF European Title
In the back D’Lo is fucking murdering Meat. He tosses a garbage can on his back and stomps a hole in him and just continues to beat him like a red-headed step child. Here comes D’Lo! He is swaggering out and Henry waits and swings wildly, missing, and Brown drops him with a running crossbody. But he is launched with ease. Henry yells at him and misses the big legdrop. Brown heel kicks him in the skull and he drops the legs. He goes up top and hits the Frog Splash. JJ runs in and he is promptly planted and retreats to the floor.
** Fun for angle advancement.
Mr. Ass is pissed because he does not have a pen and has Chyna guard it so he can find one. He runs off and she finds a pen and signs the contract.
Rock has arrived.
Ass is looking for Chyna.
Match 4: Rock v. Gangrel
He tells Gangrel that he is going to take his blood and turn it sideways and stick it up his candy ass!
Rock runs up the ramp and takes out the Hardyz and Gangrel! Gangrel is rolled into the ring and mauled. Rock gets two and gets some more of Gangrel. But Gangrel retreats to the floor, luring Rock out and he gets pounded by the Hardyz, back in the ring Gangrel stomps away. Rock fires back with some hard rights, the whip is reversed and Gangrel lowers his head. Rock kicks him and gets two after a DDT. Another reversal and Matt grabs Rock’s leg but Gangrel is still launched to the floor but gets his throat bounced off the top rope and knocked to the floor. Matt tries to attack but is nailed and Jeff leaps into the Rock from the barrier. Edge and Christian chase them off. Gangrel brings Rock back in and gets two after a side Russian leg sweep. The fans chant for the Rock as he is whipped into the corner, but Rock knocks him into the corner and unloads on him. He tosses the ref away and gets two after a Samoan Drop. Now he goes for a slam but Gangrel floats over but is given an inverted atomic drop and it is Rock Bottom time. Now the People’s Elbow! Game, set, match!
**1/2 Fun little brawl. Not keen on Garcia as the ring announcer yet.
Rock remains in the ring and has the mic. He is tired of HHH coming out here and whining. The first contender stuff is bogus. Essentially the Rock has been held back facing Ass and Gangrel. he beat them and the fans chant the Rock. The fans want the Rock and so the Rock will take matters into his own hands!
Finkel is talking to himself about being a warrior.
Kevin Kelly is with Tori who discusses Ivory tearing off her clothes, she thinks it is a fetish. She wants an Evening Gown match on SmackDown.
Finkel runs out to the Ulitmate Warrior’s music! Some fans initially rose in excitement. He has the mic and Jericho has come to save the WWF and to make it a better place. He applauds everything he has done. There are some simpletons that do not get it, and one is Road Dogg who was just picking his nose in the back. He wants Dogg to come out to the ring, so Fink can show him what Y2J is all about! Road Dogg comes out and thinks Fink is joking. Fink is not as he is mad as hell and will not take it anymore and shoves Road Dogg. Road Dogg thinks he has been smoking his weed but is shoved again, and so Dogg grabs him. Cue the Countdown. Jericho blindsides him from behind and gives him two powerbombs!
Al Snow is losing it…..
Ass wants to know where Chyna is HHH does not know where she is at. They are in each other’s grill. Ass tells him to tell her that he is looking for her. HHH tells him to be careful as he might find her.
Hardcore Holly wants his cousin to nut up or shut up so they can decide who the true heavyweight is.
Match 5: Hardcore Holly v. Crash Holly
Crash greets him with some stomps and dropkicks him to the floor. He tosses him over the barrier and beats him into the crowd. They brawl there and head to the back. They beat the shit out of each other there. Hardcore asks if he has had enough and Crash responds by clobbering him! They fight into a room and the door closes….that is it.
Kevin Kelly informs us that Austin’s prognosis is not good. Mankind is not happy with HHH who hit him with a sledgehammer and while he does not always agree with Austin the man has funded his retirement. Basically HHH will pay.
Snow is rocking back and forth in the corner….
Here comes UT and Show again. They head to the announce table.
Match 6: Kane and X Pac v. Mideon and Viscera
Mideon is getting dismantled by Kane. Here comes the Acolytes. Kane continues to destroy Mideon. Viscera is in and rocks Kane with a few blows but it does not last and he is gets pounded. Pac is in and a spinkicks drops him in the corner and it is Bronco Buster time! The Acolytes attack Kane. Pac takes out Mideon and he Bronco Busts him. Viscera crushes both men in the corner and Viscera pins X Pac.
*1/2 Nothing great. Angle advancement. Surely, Kane and Pac will break up soon.
Ass is still walking in the back.
Jericho tells Fink that they will call it WWF Finkdown on Thursday.
Mr. Ass comes down and calls out Chyna. She comes out and gets in his face. He thinks they are having a misunderstanding. She tells him that he is talking out of his ass again. Ass is not playing and they are about to fight. Here comes JJ and he swings the guitar and he hits Chyna. Ass is happy and takes the other guitar from Kitty and blasts JJ with it.
Rock is on commentary. He is pissed as he should be in the ring,and is pissed that he is facing Gunn and Gangrel and next he will have to face the Brawler. Here comes Shane and he is the ref.
Match 7: HHH v. Mankind (c) for WWF Title
HHH starts strong by hammering Mankind in the corner, runs him into the other one. Mankind turns it around and whips HHH into the corner and bulldogs him off the rebound. Shane yells at the Rock instead of counting. Mankind follows up with a running elbow drop. He goes for Socko! Shane eats it and is tossed over the top rope. Mankind turns into a kick from HHH who goes for the Pedigree but he is backdropped and Socko is applied! Chyna hobbles down. Fuck she is annoying. She eats Socko and is knocked to the floor. HHH is DDT’d and he is pinned by no ref. Another one runs down there but too late as HHH kicks out. Mankind shoves HHH to the floor and drives him into the apron battering him with fists. But he grabs Mankind and he is tossed into the steps with an assist from Chyna. Mankind has a chair but gets it kicked into his face and he is run back into the ring. HHH drops him and gets a couple of near falls. He kicks him in the gut over and over. He tosses Socko to the floor and drives his head through the buckles into the post and rolls him up getting two. HHH pulls him up and Mankind counters with a few punches but is dropped with a knee to the head and HHH drills him and gets two. HHH pounds him in the corner. Mankind fights back and slams him getting two. Mankind positions him and runs him over the top rope with him landing on top. HHH is thrown onto the table. Shane blasts Mankind with a chair and HHH knocks him out with a shot to the head! Rock just sits there and so HHH kills him with a chair shot! Shane knocks out the ref and rolls Mankind into the ring and HHH wins with the Pedigree.
***1/2 Nice fight. Perhaps it could have waited until the PPV or even the debut of SD. Oh well…Rock was pretty damn annoying on commentary. He is usually proactive and just sat there so he could get blasted but it will add drama for later.
*** Overall there was nothing special. No real wrestling outside the main event. But it was really fast paced and without the McMahons dominating the show, like Nitro without Hogan, the show is much better. Too bad about Mankind but he has been used as a transition champ. It was probably a kind of reward for his return….It will be interesting to see where they go from here. I also find RAW better without Austin sometimes and tonight was no exception. You do need a break sometimes!