WWF RAW 9/13/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Nitro is heading into a new direction, perhaps, as everything minus the burial of new talent remains the same (I am still bitching about that). Meanwhile, I would argue the WWF is too. They are giving Edge and Christian a nice (and well deserved) push. Test, not the most charismatic cat is getting a minor one too and Jarrett is getting more air time. Rock and Mankind together is genuis as they vy for the title, along with the return of Austin. While I despise how Show is being used, they have had some solid matches and I enjoyed the Buried Alive on SD. Also, it seems they are making him into a monster, slowly. Kane and X Pac are thankfully done. I want to put a caveat on this next statement, there is nothing wrong with their angle having some serious homoerotic undertones, after all it is wrestling, but this was a bit too much. Also, Mr. Ass is flip-flopping all over the place, his push is declining. Hardyz are being misused. But without the CM and DX I feel the show is tighter, better focused and paced. There is far more good than bad….and I love how Jericho is being used. Let’s hope it continues. Nitro rose to a 3.3 after the PPV, and RAW back to its regular time shot up to a near 6.0 with the head to head a joke as Nitro got a 2.8 and 2.9 (4.1 in its first hour).
I forgot the Hummer-lite incident with Austin running into the ambulance; but it is a semi, so it is bigger and better! (Sarcasm of course).
Sad, that WWF arenas are packed while WCW one’s are starting to get papered over.
Show and Undertaker are conversing.
Mankind is looking for Hunter, assuring him he is not angry for being angry, and just wants an autograph.
Rock is waltzing around in the back.
Jesus…..Now Linda is with Patterson and Brisco who warn her not to go out but she has to do because it is family business.
Now HHH has arrived with a full police escort.
Now, Linda and the stooges head to the ring. Fuck me, I am exhausted. Linda has the mic and HHH dug his own grave on SD and will now will have to sleep in it. HHH will wrestle tonight and we will find out who his opponent is too. There is a man who has a contractual rematch and if he would like that then he gets it. It is Austin. The number one contender match is with five men. Then HHH will face Austin. Here comes HHH with Chyna and a police escort. He comes in and beats the hell out of Patterson and Brisco and then tells Linda she has no idea what she is getting in to. She needs to go back to CT and her little office or he will do something she will regret. She jaws back at him. But backs off and nods her head, and departs. Rock and Mankind climb over the barrier and police swarm. Now Kane runs to the ring and the Rock and Mankind are in the ring and so is Show and UT. HHH makes his escape as the scrum continues in the ring. Mankind and the Rock clear out the ring.
Cole is with JJ and wonders why he beat up the old ladies on SD. JJ blames Chyna and challenges any woman tonight if she has the balls.
Shane has arrived.
Now Mankind is with the Rock. Cole states they are in the five man match. Cole calls him a Jabroni and asks how he feels about the match and then tells him it does not matter how he feels. Rock goes off that it does not matter who he faces and he is back with the millions and they will all be chanting his name. He calls Mankind goofy and is going to beat his ass. Mankind screams about nonsense and then says that the Rock will lay the smackdown on his candy ass!
JJ comes down and he taunts women. Any woman can come down who relieves themselves in a squatting position and that men are the dominant species.
Match 1: Jeff Jarrett (c) v. Luna Vachon
Luna sprints down and gets stomped. She gets in one blow and is clotheslined. JJ hammers her but Luna is game and fights back, briefly, and JJ goes back to work. Tori runs down and hits Luna with a guitar….Ivory, I mean, and it was clear that Luna waited for the blow.
* Angle advancement.
He he grabs Lillian and makes her get in the ring and then decides to put her in the Figure Four!
Chyna is not impressed with JJ. She is going to impress Terry Taylor by becoming IC champ and then she and HHH have a plan for Austin.
Match 2: D-Von v. Farooq
Bubba Ray stutters out who he is. Devon (that is how I will spell it, easier and I am lazy) challenges Farooq to a strap match and tells him to get his black ass down here. Farooq obliges and whips the Hades out of him. He chokes him out and hammers him. Devon returns the favor and goes to work whipping him “like a government mule” but Farooq runs him over with and gives him a spinebuster. Bubba knocks him out with a chair and Devon gets the pin.
** Like I said the potential is there.
Bradshaw gets hit with the steps and Farooq is obliterated. Bradshaw runs in and belts Bubba with a chair and the Dudleys leave.
Austin is getting ready.
Cole is with the Undertaker and Show. Cole just leaves. HHH has gone from the Hunter to the Hunted. UT tells them all to get ready because they are coming.
Finkel is the ring announcer now and JR relieves him of duty and calls out the Bulldog! JR is asking about his motivation for giving Snow the belt and why he came back to the WWF. Well, Snow deserved it. He also wanted to prove the doubters wrong that he could come back. Everyone knows he has been IC, Euro and Tag champ and there is one belt he has not gotten and that is the WWF belt. Before he retires he will be the WWF champ. Bossman comes out and he is upset that Davey stuck his nose in his business, no one does that. Bossman assures him that he will never get the WWF title and calls him a dumb ass, and when he is through with him he will go home in a doggy bag. Snow now comes out and he calls Bossman like his real name, and admits that he is unstable at times, and he will get revenge by putting his fat, donut eating ass in a cage. He wants the cages lowered, and all Bossman has to do is get his fat ass through both cages to win. Bossman wants the Hardcore title on the line. Snow concurs and Bossman agrees for the match at the PPV but wants a piece of Snow now. Al informs him that there will be members of Pepper’s family in between the cages and he brings out two big dogs, and Bossman tries to act like he is not afraid. Bulldog assaults him from behind but is dropped and here comes the dogs and their handlers and with Al and Davey in pursuit, Bossman flees through the crowd.
Cole is with the Posse. Cole is told to leave again. Joey Abs is not going to listen to Shane and he will kick Test’s ass and calls Steph a tramp.
HHH is pitching a fit in a hallway.
Someone is laid out in the back and medics arrive: It was Shane.
Fink is in the ring and Chimel comes down and tells him to beat it, and he does.
Match 3: Joey Abs v. Test
Joey calls him out and wants to finish this tonight….
Test comes down and is hammered, and nearly pinned after a bridged suplex. Joey hammers him in the corner and whips him from pillar to post but he is snagged on a run through and swept to the ground. Test puts him in a Full Nelson and powerbombs him and they brawl, but Test is shoved to the floor and the Posse wail on him and whip him into the steps. He is rolled back in the ring and Joey gets two. Test counters with a lariat and then he knocks the Posse off the apron. Test wriggles from a move and powerbombs Abs for the win.
** Not a bad brawl.
Shane comes down and sticks a Posse member and is then swarmed. Test after getting beaten is back up and helps out Shane. The Posse run for the hills with Test and Shane in hot pursuit.They get in Shane’s SUV and continue the hunt.
Austin with two knee braces is walking in the back.
Match 4: Steve Austin v. HHH (c) for WWF Title
HHH is at the top of the ramp with his escort. He is not happy with Austin ruining his plans. What Austin did last week was aggravated assault and he signed a warrant for his arrest….Fuck I hate these angles Here come the police and they surround him. Austin is cuffed and HHH tries to get to him but he is pushed back by the police. A month later Austin is finally led away.
After the break Austin is finally put in the car and led away. Linda and HHH say something to each other…..He took her phone and threw it down.
Have not seen the Godfather in a while and here he comes….
Match 5: Godfather v. Chazz
They go back and forth and here comes Marianne and she bitches and wants to know “why” over and over. Christ the acting is worse than late night Skinamax (not that I watch of course). Godfather blindsides him and after the Ho Train the Pimp Drop finishes him off.
*1/2 Not much to see here.
Brisco and Patterson want her to leave the building. Linda will not run and will stay.
Jericho has come down and a cage is surrounding the ring. He calls Shamrock a sham, and the Rock does not rock, Jericho does though. He is calling Ken, Scamrock, and continues to taunt him. He is going to give him one more lesson and show him why he is the worlds most dangerous man. This is not a steel cage but a prison and the Y2Jail, and this is his specialty. He scoured the world to find the world to find the most proficient shoot fighter and prove he is one bad mamma jamma. He calls out the “legendary” Gotch Gracie and he comes out with a mask on. Jericho brags about how great he is and how he found him in Taiwan fighting in the dojos and brings up all his shoot films!
Match 6: Chris Jericho v. Gotch Gracie
They lock up and Jericho takes him down and makes him tap. He then puts him in the bow and arrow. He now stomps a hole in him taunting him. He wants the fans to watch this and then puts him in a modified abstretch. He suplexes him and brags. He pulls him up at two. He finally stops after the Liontamer and makes the ref raise his hands, and calls Scamrock an idiot and then applies an Ankle Lock.
*1/2 Recycling WCW stuff with Jericho.
Shamrock comes down and Jericho is slow to leave and is pulled off the cage. Now Gotch helps out Jericho and they both stomp a hole in him. The masked man is Curtis Hughes a former WWF bodyguard.
Rock and Mankind are getting ready for their match.
Brown and is paying Godfather some money.
Cole is with Hughes and Jericho and I missed most of what was said but Jericho mocked Shamrock and Hughes looked angry.
Match 7: UT v. Big Show v. Kane v. Mankind v. Rock
They start brawling. Here comes Kane and now all five are going at it. Rock is taking it to Show and Mankind is knocked to the floor. Mideon and Viscera pummel Mankind. Now Rock is swarmed. Rock starts firing back and goes off on UT and Show. Mankind is taking it to Kane and he DDT’s him but UT picks up the ref and knocks him out! Rock and UT are slugging it out, Kane is on the floor and Show is squashing Mankind in the corner. Rock DDT’s the Undertaker. Other refs try to come down and get tossed. Officials like Slaughter too. Earl comes down and then just books. Godfather now randomly runs down and gets annihilated. PA is down and getting mauled by Show and Mankind. Someone was chokeslammed. Chazz is Rock Bottomed and Stevie Richards is chokeslammed by Kane. Now the rest of the locker room comes down and this has disintegrated into an all out war….
During the break the referees are all conferring in the back and not happy, and they let Earl know.
** Angle advancement.
Match 8: Val Venis and D’Lo Brown v. Steve Blackman and Mark Henry
No Henry so Blackman rolls into the ring and is stomped. He comes back and hammers Val until he is faceplanted. Brown slams him and Val nails him with a splash. Now it is just Brown and Blackman and they go back and forth for the next minute and Val comes in and gets two after a spinebuster. Steve gets on eof his own with an enzuguri. They keep going back and forth, and Brown and made the tag, so Val hits the Plex, and D’Lo the Lowdown for the win.
D’Lo had paid the Godfather off to give Henry a show with the Ho’s….GTV.
HHH and Chyna are walking in the back.
A limo has arrived.
Here comes HHH and Chyna.
He is not happy and calls out Linda and wants her out here right now! She comes out. Deep down HHH likes Linda, but wants her to say that Austin blew his chance and goes back to the bottom of the ladder and has to make his way back up. She refuses, and now he screams in her face and demands her to say it. She refuses and he grabs her and here comes Vince (fuck). Vince shoves HHH and he would not interfere in WWF business but this is no personal, and calls HHH an SOB. He demands to know who he is, and maybe he is the champ but he needs a reminder as to who gave him that break. Vince tells Linda to leave. Vince throws his jacket at him and they square off. Austin comes out and starts beating HHH from pillar to post….
Match 9: HHH (c) v. SCSA for WWF Title
Austin knocks him to the floor and continues to beat him down. He chokes him out with a cable. HHH is flung into the steps and knocked into the crowd. He pulls him back over and suplexes him. HHH is rolled back into the ring and HHH ducks a blow but is dropped via the Thesz Press. Austin drills him with an elbow and grabs a chair. He blasts him in the head with it and goes for the knee. The ref takes it and so Austin decks him. HHH tries to leave but Austin goes after him and wails away and the bell has rung as HHH is nutted and clotheslined on the ramp. The cage is being lowered…..HHH is pounded back towards the ring and rolled back into the ring with the cage down. HHH gets in his first move but it does not last. Stunner. One move in five minutes.
** For the whole segment.
**1/2 Wow, a lot happened in this show. I had to soak it all in by splitting up viewing, taking a nap and doubling my Ritalin dose! Jesus, at least a month was crammed into this fucking thing. It was entertaining enough because I had no time to think. But the wrestling was weak. With all that was going on, nothing really seemed to happen. No number one contender etc….But I guess they did work the minor angles. None really going anywhere but the did advance…..Jericho working his WCW schtick is fine because it has more time and seemingly better production values, but it would be nice to see something new. Also, if WCW had someone who was arrested and then return with no explanation they would have been eviscerated. At least give us a vignette of him getting bail….I do understand they wanted to surprise everyone, and I am sure SD will explain it. Also, your champ looks like a puss. He does not back down but then has to have a police escort and Austin made him his bitch. Like I said that is what gets old about Austin and it certainly did so tonight, and with the return of Vince, I pray to Allah that RAW does not devolve into 20 minute nonsense promos at the beginning and middle and even the end…..I am sure next week will have just that.