WWF Smackdown 11/25/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
JR calls out Show. Show talks about how great it is to be champ. He wishes his dad could have seen it. Here comes Jericho! He will be Show’s daddy tonight. He is going to kick his dimpled, cottage cheesed ass. No excuses, so Jericho wants a no DQ match for that belt that does not even fit around his chubby gut! Show grunts that he is willing and calls Jericho a bitch.
Match 1: Big Show (c) v. Chris Jericho for WWF Title
Show just slaps him silly. Jericho flees but then leaps and is caught and tossed back into the ring, over the top rope. Show gets back in and smacks him around and uses his boot to chokes him out. Jericho kicks him in the nuts and then missile dropkicks him. Now he kicks and stomps away. Show is up and catches Jericho again and it is press slam time. Bossman comes down and so Show goes after him and they are fighting by the ramp. Chyna and Kitty come out. Chyna is wearing a man’s shirt. No comment. Jericho gose at her but gets knocked out with a hammer shot to the head. Fan boo her!
** Just for the whole segment. No loss for Jericho to remain strong….never mind it is no DQ. Chokeslam and it is over. But it still stands as it made Show strong too. But he has zero personality as a face. Like Bret Hart he needs to be a heel.
Catered Thanksgiving dinner is being set up.
Vince is served papers; he cannot get near DX. HHH tells him to beat it.
Vince is screaming at the Stooges about something. Watching football (recorded) so missed it.
Mae and Moolah are dressed as a turkey and pilgrim!
Kurt Angle! Goddamn, another man crush! He is shaking hands with the fans and the announcers! Fucking classic.
Match 2: Kurt Angle v. D’Lo Brown
Kurt Angle is talking about being thankful. He is really thankful by the Three I’s and the fans call him an asshole! His gift to the fans is to put on another fantastic performance for the fans!
More PTC outrages! Cole is bitching about it….He gives the address, so we can write him!
Angle takes him over twice but is driven into the corner and hammered. D’Lo slams him and drops the legs for two. They tussle but Angle snags him and wins with the Angle Slam.
*1/2 Too quick.
Mae is stumbling drunk in the crowd.
Prepping the feast. I am sure there will be a food fight.
Snow is whining about the Rock and does not like him. Mankind is trying to get him to relax.
DX are conferring in the back. They need to lighten up and be thankful, so HHH has an idea.
Match 3: Val Venis v. Bulldog (c) for WWF European Title
Val takes him down and straddles him, punches away. He slams him but Bulldog mounts a comeback and gets two after a vertical suplex but after a brief flurry he walks into a spinebuster. Val slowly goes up and gets punched in the nuts. DQ.
* What? Come on.
Val eats a powerslam after the match.
DX are outside and HHH talks about being thankful and then declares Rochester sucks. They make fun of homeless people. They go up top one and want to take his wine.
Match 4: Kane v. Big Bossman (c) for WWF Hardcore Title
Kane goes after him and knocks him around the ring and tosses him to the floor. The fight heads into the crowd and Kane hammers him but Bossman goes low and has some sort of wooden device and he nails Kane with it. The offensive is short lived as he is tossed into the penalty box and punched in the head over and over. He shuts the penalty door onto the hand of Bossman and works that over as they head into the back. Tori is watching from a monitor. She is fucking annoying and Kane is stuck in another shitty angle. Viscera is after her again. Bossman is down and getting pummeled. Tori screeches and Kane comes. PA hits him from behind and Bossman gets the win. Kane is up and scares off Viscera.
** Great start. What a shitty end. Fucking lame angle.
HHH is harassing more bums. They are drinking of course. He is making a deal with them. They are clearly not bums….oh well.
Mankind is talking about Thankgiving. He is thanking the Rock. Not before he laughs at a fan dressed as Socko. He gushes that the Rock read his book. Here comes the Rock.
Match 5: Rock and Sock v. Crash and Hardcore Holly
Rock talks about all the pies that are set up. They set up the food but I ignored that as they were carting down the food right before the break. There is Poontang Pie and he tastes it and loves it. He takes it over to Cole. He knows Cole has never had any Poontang pie and he hands it over to him (whipped topping). He tells Cole to not be afraid of it. Cole reluctantly tries it and likes it. Rock asks him about something and Cole is interrupted and told it does not matter!
Mankind starts and deals with both Hollys. He gets the worst of it. Rock gets the hot tag and goes off. He spikes Crash as Mankind deals with Hardcore. Elbow! Match.
*1/2 Boy the Hollys just got a small push and it is now gone. Now Rock and Sock are again number one contenders. So much for the other great tag teams. I am sure this will not last.
DX is with the homeless people and are teasing them with food.
Lawler is talking to Moolah and Mae and the latter is acting drunk….he segues right into scenes from End of Days.
Match 6: Joey Abs v. Rikishi
Abs is getting crushed. Literally. He sits on him and it is over.
Posse run in and they get obliterated. Too Cool is there to help.
DX is still talking about the food. Putting in their faces.
Match 7: Ivory v. Jackie
Gravy match. Kitty is the ref. Jackie takes her time coming down. She is shoved into it. It does not last long. Jackie wins. Ivory is angry and tosses Kitty into the gravy and holds her head down!
* A gimmick but still lame.
EMT’s help a choking Kitty. Ivory takes the shirt off the EMT who happens to be wearing a black bra and has giant fake tits. She is pulled into the gravy.
Shane and Test are getting ready.
Match 8: Godfather v. Al Snow
Al blindsides him but Godfather shoves him into the corner and slugs away. He drops him and then connects with a legdrop and clotheslines him to the floor. Al has a chair and pretty hits himself with it. Ho Train and match.
* Angle advancement.
Match 9: New Age Outlaws (c) v. Hardy Boyz for WWF Tag Titles
Cage match. Back and forth. Hardys are caught and spiked and Road Dogg flips out of the corner and crashes into them. Matt is flung face first into the corner. Hardys come back and Ass is crotched on the ropes and then run from one end of the cage to the next. Now a Senton Bob from Jeff. Matt climbs up top and he moonsaults into both Road Dogg and Jeff and everyone is down! Jeff is up on the cage and is tossed over but the ref is out. Matt flies into Ass. X Pac of course intervenes. Road Dogg climbs up but he is pulled down. Pac helps out again and Ass gets out the door.
*** Decent length and fun. Really tired of DX. Jesus, they suck. Give these young guys a shot. Instead they get a brief push and then buried.
Match 10: X Pac and HHH v. Test and Shane
Pac does some karate. He really bugs me. This is actually pretty damn dull. Shane has been getting hammered. Test was tagged in and the ref did not see it. Still getting his ass kicked. Shane ducks and Pac accidentally decks HHH and then Shane punches Pac in the nuts. HHH gets the tag as does Test and the latter tees off. He has the win but X Pac stops him. Outlaws come out. HHH spikes Test and pins him.
* Terrible. Just not a good match.
DX is beating them up now. Vince has come out but cannot get near. Here come the Hardy Boyz and Kane to even the odds. Now the locker room clears out and the food fight commences.
*** I liked the beginning and then it derailed a bit towards the end. But once again the show did the job and advanced the angles and prepped the PPV. Show is still pretty useless. DX is annoying and hopefully DX will be no more. The main event was disappointing and it is just time to stop using the McMahons so damn much. Not sure why Rock and Sock are randomly back together. Things finish and then randomly start up again like that and DX. But I guess they had to kiss and make up.