WWF Smackdown 11/4/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
X Pac is wearing denim overalls. Oh, HHH is now a “badass” jokester back with DX as they giggle over beating up the Rock on RAW and arguing with Vince about having another DX Night. They are rewinding footage. They now show lions having sex and it is Road Dogg’s mom’s tape and they joke about lions being hung. Now Kane and his burnt penis, which I did not report on because it is so fucking asinine….but that was last week. Jesus, they are recapping the entire fucking RAW….well, the DX oriented parts where they dominated. Some dick jokes are sprinkled in too. They finish by showing Vince blasting his son with the title belt and make some more inane jokes.
Match 1: Al Snow and Mankind v. Hollys (c) for WWF Tag Titles
Sorry about that. The match was about six minutes long and it was back and forth….Mankind gets the pin.
**1/2 Not bad and a clean finish.
JR and Austin are talking and is convincing Austin that Vince is what he used to be and is essentially not a jerk anymore.
Mankind and Al are celebrating with the face tag teams. Al gets milk poured over his head. Mankind leaves and claims he has business to attend to.
Match 2: Test v. D’Lo Brown
They lock up and Brown is backdropped. The Posse start to lurk and Brown drops Test but yells at them. They are mic’d up and calling Test names. Test counters with a sideslam and gets two. But D’Lo comes back with neckbreaker and now he gets two. They battle and Brown goes up, jumps and acts like he blew out his knee. Test looks worried but D’Lo rolls him up for the win and still clutches the knee….
*1/2 Not bad….I guess.
Test is helping him up and then leaves.
Mankind is walking in the back and the Acolytes mock him for not drinking beer and throw a beer can at him.
Rock is with JR now. He too is not happy about Vince hitting Shane and along with Austin believes it was done on purpose.
Match 3: Too Cool v. Hardys
Jeff strikes with a hurracarana and Scotty is sandwiched in the corner, and Jeff flies into him. Brian gets the tag and misses in the corner and Matt leaps out of the corner and gets two. Matt attempts a Tornado DDT but is flung down. Scotty is in and he is tossed out. Jeff catapults off of Matt and he flips on top of Scotty but he is caught on the apron and powerbombed. Back in the ring Brian pulls him up and whips him into the corner. Brian puts on his goggles and charges, but misses. Scotty gets the tag and so does Matt and the latter takes out both. But they fight back and Jeff is again tossed to the floor. Terri distracts Scotty and slaps him. Matt suplexes him and Jeff hits the swanton (or senton) bomb and they get the win.
**1/2 This was pretty good.
JR is still running around, apologizing, this time to Kane and Tori about Kane being burned….
More from the Kurt Angle promo. Now the Three I’s, Intelligence, Integrity…Fuck I forgot the last one!
Vince hath arrived in a limo.
Match 4: Edge v. Bulldog (c) for WWF European Title
Why is Bulldog stuck with the Posse? Poor bastard. Edge dropkicks him but is driven back into the corner. Edge escapes and flies from the top with a crossbody getting two. Posse intervene and Christian has arrived as have the Headbangers. Bulldog runs Edge into the corner. Bulldog vertically suplexes him and then after a two count puts him in a chinlock. Edge is up and pushes him into the ropes and knocks him down with a spinkick and then clotheslines him. Edge pulls him up and hits a Russian leg sweep. He climbs up top and connects with the missile kick. Bulldog falls to the floor and Christian DDT’s him and rolls him back in. Edge spears him but Joey Abs makes the save and the match is tossed….
**1/2 Fuck it, I thought it was pretty good.
Headbangers run down and the heels are beaten and flee.
JR is with an annoyed Vince. Vince is angry about JR’s comment saying that Vince may have hit Shane on purpose. Vince whines that he would never hit his son….Um, he has before. JR backpedals and apologizes. Vince accepts it.
DX comes down and HHH claims that the fans cannot get enough of DX. Still trying to get HHH over as a heel….HHH continues that they love DX and that DX beats everyone’s ass. HHH recaps the ass kickings that DX dished out on RAW. As a treat to his bro’s and the fans HHH reshows what happened on RAW….Again, we see it. He recaps what JR said it about the incident possibly not being an accident. Without further ado he introduces the newest member of DX and it is Vince and they show a DX jersey. Vince slowly makes his way out. He asks the crowd if he should join DX and his mic goes out. HHH bellows that this is a billion dollar company and they cannot even get a working mic! HHH tells him to join DX and he will always have a working stick. Vince responds that he would rather join WCW. Tonight Vince is booking a Survivor Series match with DX v. Austin, Rock and Shane and someone else….
Mankind is walking around and enters a Fantasy Room and starts pulling guys out of Peep Show booths, looking for Val. He enters one and shuts the door.
Godfather comes out and does his thing about rolling fatties for this pimp daddy as pimping ain’t easy. The Ho’s are about to take off their shirts and instead we get Jericho! People did not come out to see these women. Also, Chyna will no longer be champ and after the PPV she will become his own personal Ho. She also slept with most of locker room…..She will pucker up and kiss his IC belt and never forget it.
Match 5: Godfather v. Chris Jericho
Jericho assaults him but is run over with a clothesline. Jericho fires back with some kicks and punches. He uses the ropes to choke him out and suplexes Godfather and then strikes with a moonsault. Stevie Richards is dressed as a Ho and they all get in the ring. Stevie kicks Jericho in the face and the Ho Train finishes him off.
Stevie is with Lillian and he talks about his obsession with Chyna and her looks and muscles etc.
Shane accepts Vince apology and talks about team work for tonight’s match. Vince wonders where Austin is….
Al Snow is talking to the Meanie and someone else. About his Hardcore matches. Val blindsides him and wails away. Val leaves and hits on the Ho’s.
Bossman is walking in the back and they recap his issues with Show.
Match 6: Big Bossman v. Big Show
Show charges and lays waste. Bossman tries to leave and Show assaults him up on the ramp and keeps kicking his ass. The match has already been thrown out. Back in the ring he continues to destroy him. Show chokeslams him and now officials like Slaughter come out to try and contain him and he chokeslams them too!
Rock tells Vince he smells it as he walks by Vince.
Match 7: Shane and Kane and Rock and Austin v. DX
Shane and Road Dogg start off and the latter taeks charge but Shane gets in a few blows. Finally, Shane is driven into the wrong corner and hammered. Pac gets the tag but misses a lariat and Shane counters with a heel kick but Pac returns the favor. Here comes HHH. Shane is battered and Pac is back in and Shane is able to escape and Kane destroys Pac and now everyone is in the ring. Austin and Road Dogg are brawling on the floor and Kane destroys Ass and Pac. Kane goes up and flattens Pac with a flying lariat. He goozles him but is nutted by Ass and then given the Famouser but he staggers up right into the X Factor. He is finished. Kane rises up and chokeslams Pac. Shane slides in and covers Pac getting two. Vince has come down.
Rock is beaten up by Pac and now Ass. Shane was pinned during the break. Ass pummels Rock in the corner. Road Dogg gets the tag and Rock fires back and swings him down to the mat and now connects with a Samoan Drop and gets two. Rock Bottom and over. Road Dogg is out. Pac charges in and he is swung into the ropes but he ducks and gets two after a spinning heel kick. Ass is now in and he powerslams Rock and beats on him. Here comes Pac again but he waltzes right into a DDT after some back and forth and both are down. Austin has his hand out and the hot tag is made. Austin is blazing as he mauls DX. But he turns right into a Pac heel kick but he lowers his head and it is kick, Stunner and Pac is done for. Here comes Ass and he pounds on Austin. Rock is in and he and Gunn battle. Ass is slammed and it is Elbow time but HHH decks Rock. Austin charges and he and Gunn brawl. Ass rolls up Rock and then fucks up the re-roll over as it looked lame. Rock wins with him being on top. Austin is thrust into the steps and now Rock is doubleteamed and finished with a Pedigree. Now Austin and HHH are going at it. Rock is not happy….Austin hits a knee to the face but catches a charging HHH and hotshots his throat off the top rope. They clothesline each other. For some reason Vince slides in a chair. Both Austin and HHH go for it and Vince has the belt and HHH ducks again and Austin is taken out. HHH wins. Ref was dealing with the Rock. HHH nailed Vince before making the cover. Austin is pissed and is going for Vince when HHH blasts Vince again and departs Austin decks HHH…..
***1/2 Nice set up for the PPV. Keeps DX strong and that is smart.
***1/2 Solid show with some actual wrestling. I still do not like what they are doing with Jericho and even Davey but they have added more wrestling and that is crucial as it makes the show far better. It seems that slowly but surely the WWF is becoming the wrestling show while WCW is becoming what the WWF used to be. Too bad they both just do not have more wrestling.