WWF Smackdown 12/23/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Mankind calls to order a meeting with all the wrestlers. He is wearing the mask….Kayfabe is not dead! He talks about how everyone knows him and at least mostly respects him. Therefore he wants a moment of their time. He and they clearly do not like what is going on. Kayfabe is dead….He does not have his mask. I am blind. Foley is pissed that they are dictating matches and mentions all the injuries that happened on Monday. He quotes Twisted Sister as they are not going to take it anymore. Here comes Steph and Foley is not very accommodating. He wants to know what the hell she is doing here. She throws it back at him. He tells her it is a mutiny. Steph claims she will not longer listen to HHH and she will prove it. Test will face Road Dogg. Rock v. Al Snow. Foley reminds her of all the shenanigans. It will be in a cage. Show will face Mankind and HHH will above the ring in a cage. She says something about HHH getting it from Edge, Christian, Test and Hardys….Not sure of the particulars. Had to get a beer!
Jericho! We are in the midst of the Holiday season. There will be nothing joyful about Hollys season as he will get a Yuletide beating and deck these halls….Yeah it was bad. Are they trying to make him a face?? Not sure.
Match 1: Chris Jericho (c) v. Hardcore Holly for WWF IC Title
They go back and forth until Holly dropkicks him and then he stomps a hole in him. He follows up with a clothesline but Jericho forearms him into the ropes only to get his eyes raked. Suplex. Hardcore takes a month going up top. Crotched, and Jericho heads up after him only to get shoved off. Hardcore leaps into a boot to the mug. Jericho chops away and strikes with a running elbow. Now Holly reverses the whip but he is run over and Jericho gets two. Bulldog out of the corner and Jericho baseball slides into Crash. This allows Hardcore to whip him into the ropes but he is taken down and Jericho goes for the Walls. Crash blasts him with the IC belt. Here comes Chyna who has done nothing of note for two weeks. Chyna destroys Crash and Hardcore is tossed out by Jericho.
**1/2 Not a bad opener.
Outlaws are whining about tonight’s events and HHH is worried and has to think.
Steph wants Kane to protect her from HHH. Steph tells Kane a story about Pac basically raping Tori. If he protects her then Kane can have Pac.
Match 2: Rikishi v. Viscera
Viscera unloads on him and crushes him with a splash. He misses the second and now Rikishi squashes him in the corner. He goes for a bodyslam and Viscera lands on him getting two. Viscera goes back to work. He misses in the corner and eats a thrust kick to the face. Rikishi finishes him from the second rope…..Sat on him from there.
Too Cool comes down and it is dance time. He goes to leave but the crowd cheers and now it is officially dance time.
Test is with Steph and does not trust her. She reiterates that this is her company and there will be no interference.
Rock is in the back going off on that piece of monkey crap: Al Snow. He goes on about Al and his match tonight.
Match 3: Road Dogg v. Test
Road Dogg runs away but is tracked down and beaten. Test beats on him out on the floor. But he is flung into the steps and now he is beaten. HHH and Gunn are watching from the back. Now they are in the ring and go back and forth. Test powerbombs him but Road Dogg pops right up and punches away but is knocked silly. Meltdown! Test heads up top and hits the elbow and wins!
** Test gets a win? Wow.
HHH and Gunn are irate. Test is not done and he has a chair. Road Dogg wisely flees.
More whining from HHH and Gunn.
HHH is whining to Steph about being in the cage. Steph loves the sex but this is business. Um, I am so damn confused; they were just so happy. Clearly a swerve. Steph brings in some cops. They are going to make sure he gets in the ring.
Match 4: Kurt Angle v. Edge
He loves coming down to Texas and talks about Intensity. He then makes fun of Texas. Edge hammers him. Angle finally gets in some offense. They go at it. Edge goes up and leaps, lands on his feet as Angle moves. Edge gets two off the DDT. Edge whips him into the corner and slides under the boot and to the floor. He pulls him crotch first into the post. Edge almost spears the ref but he is dropkicked into the ref. Blackman comes down and knocks out Edge and an Angle Slam ends it.
** Good match, marred by shenanigans but I really need to suck it up and realize this is the WWF and it goes with the territory.
Steph yells at Blackman to stay out of Kurt’s business even though he was told to on Monday.
Rock is walking….Awesome!
Al is bitter that he beat the Rock and he is not facing the WWF champ. He wants to know why Mick is. Kane has been shadowing Steph….She does not like to be yelled at. If Al wins he gets a title shot on RAW.
Match 5: Al Snow v. Rock
They brawl out on the floor. They finally get in the ring and the bell rings. Rock unloads on him and stomps him into the canvas. Al fights back and tries to climb out but he is pulled back down and he drops Al. Rock, though is struck with a Russian sweep and a chair shot to the gut. Al goes back up top but Rock is right there. Rock pulls him back down again and DDT’s him. He gets two and goes up the cage but is pulled down and crotched on the top rope. A steel chair to the head knocks him out. Al is almost up and out but the Rock is there again and they tussle but Al is back suplexed into the ring and both are down. They are up and go back and forth. Rock spikes him and the Elbow finishes him off!
*** Good stuff.
Ivory is getting the girls together and they need to show their stuff.
Ivory comes out and is tired of everyone talking about thingies, and points to her boobs. She is not happy with what Ms. Kitty did at the PPV. She challenges Kitty and here she comes with Chyna. Kitty is wearing a hot Santa outfit and she wants it to be no DQ….
Match 6: Ivory v. Kat (c) for WWF Women’s Title
Kat leaves and whispers to Chyna who gets in the ring! Ivory gets her punch blocked. Pedigree. Kat comes in and pins her for the win.
NR. Angle advancement.
Posse go up to Kientai. They exist? Posse knows they are facing Hardy Boyz and make fun of how they say their R’s. Saying racist things about chopsticks and they need to relax in order to beat them….That was fucking stupid. Great, prejudice. Even as a joke it lame.
Match 7: Christian and Jeff Hardy v. Kientai
A new spelling for them I guess. Matt has a broken jaw, kayfabe, I guess. Posse come out with them. Kientai.
Sorry, fucking around….All four have been flying around the ring. Fairly fast paced match. Christian and Jeff win. Kientai dropkick the Posse and flee.
**1/2 Not bad.
JR and Foley discuss Steph and not to trust her and he agrees but is focused on Show.
Kane is walking…Sweet!
Match 8: Kane v. Mr. Ass
Road Dogg and HHH are watching from the back….Ass started strong but he is punched into the ground and gets up and a big boot sends him back down. Chokeslam and match!
* Nice squash for Kane….But it will go nowhere. Get the tag titles off those ass clowns.
The ref is shoved by Kane and Kane wants to Tombstone Ass who shoves him into the post. Kane goes after him. Road Dogg and HHH want to assist but the latter is pushed back into the locker room by the police. Kane is beating the Hades out of Ass through the crowd and into the back. He has Road Dogg now who squeals like a bitch that he knows where Tori is and tells him.
Clearly, and this is my terrible guess…DX is done for and this is a way to get rid of them.
Mark Henry has Moolah and Mae and recites a poem for Mae. Dudleys come out and Bubba wishes he would shut his fat mouth and he is a big Olympic failure! Mae is old and she smells. Now the Texans in the crowd are basically white trash losers (true, after all it is Dallas) and their football team sucks! No more stutter I guess….Henry decks him.
Match 9: Mark Henry v. Bubba Ray
Devon slows him up for Bubba and he hammers him. This was a cluster. Moolah and Mae assist crotch Devon up top. The splash from Henry wins it.
* Oh boy, Dudleys need a push.
Steph and the police grab HHH and he is pissed as he is dragged to the cage. He is finally suspended up in the cage and Steph is at the announce table.
Match 10: Big Show (c) v. Mankind for WWF Title
Show is taking care of business. He hammers Mankind and gets two after a sideslam. Show uses chairs and has controlled most of the match. Mankind bites him as he is stuck in a bearhug but Show belly to belly’s him. On the floor, Show has the steel steps over his head and gets walloped with a chair, the steps dow. Now Mankind wraps the chair across his head. Show is down. He rolls him back into the ring. Mankind puts him in a sleeper. Show is up and he drops back down on top of Mankind! Show calls for the chokeslam and goozles him. Mankind nuts him and plants him with a DDT. Show gets two. Socko is prepped and locked in. They tumble over the top rope and collapse to the floor. Steph acts stunned as the cage lowers. Now some heels charge down and assault the faces. Steph acts like she is trying to keep HHH in the cage and he gets out and holds her as a shield against Mankind. Stephanie kicks him in the nuts and now HHH wraps a chain around his fist and beats the shit out of Mankind. Outlaws run down and assault Show. Now they get in the ring. Maybe she did not kick him in the nuts and was shoved into him. She acts scared and of course they hug and kiss….Jesus.
**1/2 Why is Show still down?
HHH has the mic and he has two words for the crowd and it is Merry Christmas….
*** I have to take a half star off. Look, Jesus, it is like a show made for toddlers. The entire thing was obvious from the get go. Already, and for no reason they are fighting? Okay, I buy that she was worried about the mutiny. But the Outlaws are willing to sacrifice themselves and get their asses kicked? Kane destroys them and they sell out X Pac….Unless that is a swerve, as I am sure we will find out on Monday. But it is far too convoluted for my tastes. Still I liked the wrestling on the show. I am not sold on this so called new era, a decade of HHH dominance that continues to this day as seen by the last PPV and the main reason I will not watch current WWE because it sucks. I am rambling. Not bad, just overbooked.