WWF Superstars 3/16/1991
Written by: Tom Hopkins
The fans are chanting for Roddy on this St. Patrick’s Day edition of Superstars.
-British Bulldog vs. Chris Sheats-
Bulldog hiptosses and armdrags his opponent as Vince says the Queen who had been appearing on Superstars was really a fraud. Bulldog suplexes Sheats as Warlord and Slick chime in with a pre-recorded promo. The running powerslam ends this at 2:04. 1/4*.
We head to Gene and a Wrestlemania Update. We see some of the build-up between the Perfect/Boss Man match with Heenan making fun of Boss Man’s mother a lot. Heenan gets handcuffed and chokes him, which is really assault, and then drags him away. We also see part of their SNME match, too. We hear from Perfect, too.
-Texas Tornado vs. Pez Whatley-
Pez attacks from behind but that goes nowhere fast. We hear from the Texas Tornado and his upcoming match with Dino Bravo. Tornado clotheslines Pez to the outside in a really crappy looking spot. Pez comes in and gets some jobberific offense before taking a discus punch and then a running discus punch to end this thing at 1:54. DUD.
Let’s go to the Event Center! Wrestlemania’s a few short days away so we’re in full sell mode. We hear from Haku and the Barbarian who are preparing for their match with the Rockers, who we also hear from. The Nasty’s are ready for the Harts.
-The Nasty Boys vs. Two Jobbers-
Saggs is called Scaggs, until the announcers finally correct themselves and then get the two confused Knobbs clotheslines the first jobber and then Sags face plant him into the mat. They bring in the second jobber who takes an abdominal stretch clothesline. The running power-bomb/elbow drop from the top rope combo finishes this at 2:50. ½*.
Gene Okerlund brings out Hulk Hogan for a special interview. SMELL THE XENOPHOBIA! Hogan will win the title.
-Rick Martel vs. –
We hear a word from Jake about their upcoming match as Martel clotheslines his opponent. A gut-wrench suplex follows and Martel pulls a blindfold out of his trunks. He drapes it on the jobber and plays around with him a bit before putting the Boston Crab on him and finishing this off at 2:10. I really like Martel’s character here. *.
Let’s go back to the Event Center! Earthquake and Jimmy Hart have words for Valentine, the Legion of Doom have issues with Power and Glory and Sgt. Slaughter cuts a scathing promo against Hogan. Savage and Warrior both tell the other that their careers are over. Warrior starts talking about the crystal of Macho’s scepter and how he had it sewed into his head. This guy is insane. We see on Primetime Wrestling the Queen being shown a fraud. We also hear from Regis Philbin and Willie Nelson.
-Pat Armstrong vs. The Undertaker-
Taker was slowly starting to get some cheers by this point. Armstrong attacks from behind but is just clotheslined down and follows with a chokeslam. Bearer seemed to start wearing the white face powder and was starting to go into the high voice we all know. The ropewalks gives way to the tombstone to end this thing at 2:28. ½*.
We hear some final comments from Tito Santana, The Mountie and the Big Boss Man.
-The Bottom Line- This was just your standard episode of Superstars. We got all our jobber matches, some interviews, and more hype for Wrestlemania. I really wish they’d throw a star on star match in every once in a while. This was just an average episode.