WWF Superstars 5/30/1992
Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re at the Onondaga Coliseum in Syracuse NY. We’re just in time for Dairy Month and as usual Mr. Perfect and Vince McMahon make their usual punny opening. Hey, don’t SKIM over the top, McMahon! Talk centers around Ultimate Warrior and Papa Shango’s curse.
–Legion of Doom (w/Paul Ellering) vs. Kato & Mitch Mitchell–
I didn’t catch the last guys name but it sounded like he shares a name with the drummer of the Jimi Hendrix Experience. He doesn’t resemble the more famous Mitch, though. Kato tries a chop on Animal but it has absolutely no effect. McMahon says that the LOD get their strength from ICOPRO. I remember those ads from the WWE Magazines. Kato is dumped by Hawk where he’s laid out with a clothesline by Animal. The Beverly Brothers have words for the Legion of Sissies. Man, I can’t wait for their Summerslam Match! Doomsday Device ends this at 1:49.
It’s time for the Update Center (brought to you by WBF Magazine, natch). Mean Gene is all about the curse that Shango has put on Ultimate Warrior. First Warrior suffered stomach pains after his match and ended up throwing up some pea soup and then black goo started oozing out of his head during an interview!
–Papa Shango vs. Brian Brieger–
The crowd seems unsettled with Shango in the ring. Shango does some voodoo and the lights go off in the arena. A fire erupts in the ring and it is his opponent’s boots that are on fire! Furthermore, there’s black goo on the guy’s head! Nice touch with the little girl screaming added in here during the blackout. I guess there would be no match here.
Sean Mooney is hanging out in the Event Center and he tells us not to play with fire. How come they don’t put that in the “Don’t Try This At Home,” spots? We hear from the Native American Tatanka. He’s pissed at Martel spraying Arrogance in his eyes, in an act that was 100% precipitated by Tatanka himself. Martel stole his Eagle feathers, too. Repo Man is here to talk, too. I don’t really care what people in the lower-mid-card have to say. This was during one of his two feuds that I remember – this one being with the British Bulldog.
–Sgt. Slaughter vs. Bob Bradley–
Slaughter was shocked recently by the Mountie. What was the blowoff show for this feud and other ones mentioned here, because it certainly wasn’t at Summerslam. I’ll check online if there was some SNME between here and Summerslam after this match. Bradley pokes Slaughter in the eye early and gets in some token offense. Slaughter comes back with a big boot to the face (blocking a backdrop) and then dropping Bradley on the top rope. We hear from the Mountie who loves having the power of his shock stick. That’s what she said! Cobra Clutch ends this at 1:44.
–Rick Martel vs. Jim Powers–
You know what; Martel looks snazzy with that feather in his beret. McMahon talks about the WBF event which features a “drug-free” competition. BWA-HA-HA-HA! Where do we even start? He mentions Luger in the same sentence, too! Powers gets an arm-drag takeover on the Model. Powers has a decent physique – did he ever make anything of himself? Sunset Flip gets two for Powers. Wow, the jobbers are getting a lot of offense in tonight, if you don’t count the one who had his boots set on fire. Powers misses a dropkick and a Boston Crab puts this away.
Sean introduces more interviews. We hear from the Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart and they call out High Energy. Undertaker has strong words for Berzerker. He tells him that in 20 years Berzerker will be nothing and he will be undefeated at Wrestlemania.
Now on Coliseum Video – Crunch Classic!
Oh, and there was no blow-off show that had things like Slaughter/Mountie, Repo Man/Bulldog or Undertaker/Berzerker. I guess it was either on some other special show or was just on Primetime or something.
–Natural Disasters vs. Dwayne Gill & Mike Fury–
Mike Fury sounds like one of those generic early-60’s British beat music names. The jobbers attack the Natural Disasters from behind and fail miserably. Typhoon actually does an suplex throw on Gill that sends him sliding through the bottom rope to the outside. Fury is caught in the ring with the two big men and he eats a Typhoon avalanche. For lack of a better move they do a double avalanche on Fury. Gill attacks Earthquake but he’s taken out with little fanfare. Powerslam from Earthquake on Fury! Butt-Splash/Big Splash combo ends this at 2:58.
–The Big Boss Man vs. Dave Roulette–
McMahon and Perfect mention that the Convict is now free from jail and after Boss Man. Boss Man winds up a punch for Roulette and then delivers a backbreaker. Boss Man Slam ends this at 1:06. Boss Man slaps the jobber around when a man wearing a prison outfit runs in with a nightstick and hits Boss Man with it. He knees Boss Man in the face, handcuffs Boss Man to the ropes and just assaults Boss Man with the nightstick. That wasn’t too smart. This guy just got out of jail and here he is illegally entering into the ring during an event and then assaulting a police officer. The police aren’t even around to escort this criminal off the premises. After destroying Boss Man’s knee he cuffs Boss Man’s hands behind his back and assaults him some more. He leaves and Boss Man does the stretcher job. Nothing like an extended beat-down to make time fly on Superstars!
–Berzerker vs. Glen Ruth–
Usual Berzerker match here. Ruth takes a pounding, gets tied up in the ropes and hit with big boots and then dumped to the outside for the count-out at 2:04.
Hey it’s Crush! He eats people like the Mountie and Martel for lunch. That’s called cannibalism and I am sure it is illegal in the US, even Hawaii.
Sean Mooney winds things down with more interviews from mid-carders. It’s Sgt. Slaughter! He’s mad at the Mountie. Here’s Bret Hart! He’s certainly no mere mid-carder. Next week! A Papa Shango interview, matches featuring Bret Hart, the Beverly Brothers, Crush and an update on the Big Boss Man!
–The Bottom Line–
This is your usual 1992 episode of Superstars – you see your squash matches and have your one big angle building moment. Nailz/Boss Man was set-up very well here. Other than that, there’s not much else to watch this for. I’ll give this two Nailz beat-downs out of five.