WWF Superstars 5/9/1992
Written by Tom Hopkins
We’re in time for Mother’s Day! We’re at the Onondaga Coliseum in Syracuse NY. Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect are in the announce booth.
–Bret Hart vs. Von Krus–
Bret as the reigning champion by this point. They talk about Bret’s greasy hair, Krus’ lack of hair and Perfect takes a swipe at McMahon’s hair piece. We hear from Michaels and Sherri during the match – Shawn wants the IC title! Sharpshooter ends this early at 1:14.
–Kamala (w/Harvey Whippleman & Kimchee) vs. Sonny Blaze–
Kamala attacks Blaze from the outset with chops and punches. The belly slapping thing is awesome. Kamala hits the big splash to the back of Blaze but forgets to turn him over for the pinfall. Kamala then is told to turn him over and he does, getting the pinfall at 0:48.
–Tito Santana vs. Bob Bradley–
We’re just flying through matches here. Where is the Event Center? The Update Center? Perfect has a letter from “The Convict,” for Boss Man. Tito leapfrogs Bradley, something I normally don’t note but since this match will only be about 2 minutes I figured I may as well put as many moves in as possible. Bradley gets some token jobber offense in but Tito’s right back with a knee lift and the Paso de Muerte ends this at 1:31.
It’s time for Sean Mooney and the Event Center! We have a promo from the Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart). Just remember, The Mountie always gets his man. We also hear from High Energy. They’re ready for any team, like the Nasty Boys.
–Legion of Doom (w/Paul Ellering) vs. 2 Jobbers–
The Legion of Doom wish the mother’s a Happy Mother’s Day before entering the ring. The jobbers were introduced but I didn’t catch their names, nor do I really care. The Beverly Brothers and Genius cut a scathing promo calling the LOD the LOS, Legion of Sissies. This is the usual LOD squash, ending with the Doomsday Device at 1:43.
The cover of the WWE Magazine features Wrestlemania but inside the cover there’s a profile on the Legion of Doom!
We’re back with Mooney. We hear from Money Incorporated and Jimmy Hart. They have strong words for the Natural Disasters. The Undertaker and Paul Bearer air their issues with the Berzerker.
–Crush vs. Kato–
This is Crush’s debut, or reappearance after being repackaged from Demolition. Crush downs Kato with a shoulderblock because Crush is big and powerful. Crush press-slams Kato (showing his power, of course) and does a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He ends with a spinebuster slam at 1:50. I guess he didn’t develop his submission head-crusher yet. This was a good debut for him. Crush then helps up Kato after the match.
Papa Shango is after the Ultimate Warrior! I can’t wait until his paint starts to bleed!
Gene Okerlund brings out the Model Rick Martel. Martel is wearing the Eagle Feathers he swiped from Tatanka last week. Okerlund asks Martel why he sprayed Tatanka in the face. Martel should’ve said, “I was defending myself from being attacked unprovoked.” Really Martel doesn’t have to explain himself for that. Stealing the feathers, yes, defending himself, no.
Happy Mother’s Day from Sgt. Slaughter!
–Ric Flair vs. Sgt. Slaughter–
I think between the three of them they’ve held the WWE, NWA and AWA titles at some point in their careers. Obviously Flair’s won a few more titles than Slaughter. Slaughter shoves Flair down after a lock-up and then mocks Flair a bit. The Mountie makes his way to ringside as Flair is press-slammed down. Jimmy Hart gets to ringside, too, and leaves something for the Mountie. Flair is press-slammed a second time and this time Flair’s had enough. He chops Slaughter and whips him into the corner. Slaughter ends up on the outside as Mountie starts opening the box that Hart left for him. Slaughter fights out of the corner and backdrops Flair. A clothesline gets two. Perfect gets to the apron as Mountie takes out his shock stick. Slaughter clotheslines Flair outside and follows, sending him into the steps. Slaughter suplexes Flair into the ring and then sends him to the corner where Flair flips to the outside. Slaughter’s blind charge finds Flair’s boot but Flair goes upstairs and you know what happens next. Slaughter tosses him off and covers for two. Flair turns the tide with a thumb to the eye and then tries catapulting Slaughter into the corner. It doesn’t work. So Flair puts him in a single leg crab. Was that a blown spot? Slaughter clotheslines Flair down for two. Flair sends Slaughter to the corner and Perfect distracts the ref, allowing Mountie to shock Slaughter. Slaughter falls into the ring and Flair covers for the pinfall at 6:17. Hart takes the Shock Stick and runs back with it. Mountie congratulates Flair for his hard-fought victory. There was a lot of extra-curricular stuff going on here but it led to a fun Superstars match at least. **.
Slaughter does the stretcher job as Mountie gloats in the ring.
–The Nasty Boys vs. Brian Brieger & Bill Pierce–
I have no idea which jobber is which, and I don’t really care because these are just squash matches. Perfect rejoins the announce booth and called the match shocking. Perfect denies that they were in on it the whole time. Pump-Handle Slam for Sags and he covers, but elects to lift the jobber up at two. Vince mentions Family Feud with Perfect and some heels vs. the WBF all-stars – all this week on the nighttime edition! The match ended at 2:08 with a Knobbs elbow-drop.
We head to Sean Mooney, hyping the WWE Magazine with a tribute to the Hulkster. We hear from the Bushwhackers who act like idiots. Fuji and Berzerker want to cremate both Undertaker and Fuji. Okay, when was this feud blown off? On a Wrestling Challenge or on a SNME? Because it wasn’t at Summerslam. Vince says they don’t have any further word on Slaughter but they’ll have it next week – as well as Ultimate Warrior vs. one of the Nasty Boys. We hear from the Nasty’s and Jimmy Hart (Warrior’s going to Nasty-Ville, which is a step up from Parts Unknown) while Warrior, still walking with the curse of voodoo, will take down the Nasty Boys and the curse will be on them! We’ll see, Warrior.
–The Bottom Line–
Hey, a two-star match on Superstars is actually enough for me, although there were way too many matches on here that didn’t do anything. Decent episode, I’ll give it 3 out of 5 Shock Sticks.