WWF Superstars 7/4/1992
Written by: Tom Hopkins
What better way for the WWE Superstars to celebrate the Fourth of July than by doing it in Canada! It’s still the Hamilton, Ontario taping cycle at the Copps Center and as usual McMahon and Perfect are here. Perfect has a sparkler with him and he declares his independence from McMahon. They do a silly bomb-tossing gag, too, playing hot potato with it.
–High Energy vs. Bob Bradley & Joe Milano–
High Energy have Frankie with them, too. Why did a heel never try going after the bird like Earthquake did with Damien. Ahh the days before Raw and monthly PPV’s. Vince tells us that High Energy will be taking on the Nasty Boys, “somewhere in the future.” If this were today they would’ve fought on Raw already and their feud would be over. Hart impresses with an enzuigiri. The Nasty Boys call out High Energy who promise nothing but a street fight. I watched WWE a lot back during this time and I cannot remember a match between the two. Owen gives the heels a double noggin knocker and Owen rolls up Milano after Koko hits a missile dropkick off the top to end this at 1:54.
Gene Okerlund is at the Update Center, brought to you by Supertape 1992, of course. He recaps the Nailz beat down on the Big Boss Man The photo’s of Boss Man’s damage is shown, too. I remember watching this as a mark thinking those photos were real! Okerlund called Boss Man and we hear their conversation. The Boss Man is on the road to recovery and he’s going to be back sooner than Boss Man thinks!
–Rick Martel vs. Jason Knight–
Perfect tells us that Boss Man is now called the Bruise Man. I found that funnier than it had any right to be. We hear from Martel during his match and he hypes up the Tatanka feud. Meanwhile, Vince is hyping Body Stars now complete with its new timeslot. Lex Luger will be there, too! Knight hits a crossbody for two but is quickly gut-wrench suplexed down. Knight tries a monkey flip in the corner but Martel shoves him off. A backbreaker sets up the Boston Crab which ends this at 2:22. This wasn’t a terrible squash at all. *.
–Crush vs. Kerry Davis–
McMahon credits Crush’s physique ENTIRELY to ICOPRO. I think that’s a dubious claim at best. It’s like saying Bonds hit all his homeruns on his own. Crush press-slams Kerry, gets an axe-handle off the top, hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before ending with the Kona Crush at 1:46.
Here’s Sean Mooney! He gets in a great line saying that not even the WWE Ice Cream bars can cool down the WWE right now. Speaking of cool, here’s Harvey Whippleman with Kimchee and Kamala! I would imitate Kamala’s sounds and mannerisms a lot back then and probably a little bit even now. British Bulldog wants vengeance on the Repo Man. Davey says Repo Man about 5 times and points a lot.
–Papa Shango vs. Joe McMullen–
If Shango was so powerful, why did he never go after the champion? Have Savage crap himself or something and then pin him for the title. Instead he sets jobbers on fire. Shango uses a flame puff and McMullen starts grabbing his knee from across the ring. Shango goes after that injured leg but then uses the shoulderbreaker to end this at 1:16.
Sean Mooney is back for another round of promo’s at the Media Center. Kerry Von Erich is here and tells us how the WWE Superstars stay fit and hungry in the ring. He issues an open challenge to anyone in the WWE. No one would sign it and he’d be gone by the end of the month. Ric Flair is joined by Mr. Perfect. Funny that 10 years earlier Flair and Kerry would wrestle for the NWA Title. Fast-forward to now, both men are in the WWE. Flair is still fighting for the biggest title while Kerry was almost forgotten. Fast-forward to another year and Flair was back in the WCW and Kerry was dead.
–Sgt. Slaughter vs. Barry Hardy–
It’s Fourth of July so you kind of have to have Slaughter wrestle. Slaughter kicks Hardy down and delivers a gutbuster. We hear from Slaughter who gives a Fourth of July promo all while calling out the Mountie. Hardy is clotheslined down and the Cobra Clutch ends this at 1:52.
Vince shills a WBF Championship 1992 Coliseum Video. That is one I would like to see on WWGreatestMatches.com
Okerlund has his interview stand set up and Repo Man is brought out as his guest. Repo rides out in a bicycle that he repossessed earlier that day. Repo Man is ready for the British Bulldog. He promises he won’t make it to Summerslam and not only that but if he had a kid, he’d lock him in a car with the windows rolled up on a hot day. That is incredibly cruel.
–Bret Hart vs. Barry Horowitz–
Bret gets a nice pop here. Horowitz initiates a criss-cross which Hart stops and turns into an atomic drop. I guess he wants to get the Five-Moves out of the way early. Hart cuts a scathing promo against Shawn Michaels which is ironic considering how much they’d hate each other 5 years down the road. The backbreaker sets up the Sharpshooter to end this at 2:06. No second-rope elbow tonight?
–The Beverly Brothers (w/The Genius) vs. Phil Apollo & Scott Taylor–
The Beverly’s are announced from Shaker Heights, Ohio. That sounds like the least threatening place ever. The Beverly’s were feuding with the Legion of Doom at the time, though it was all verbal at this point. Scott Taylor, the only person here to win WWE Gold, tags in and he’s squashed like Apollo was. Their 3D move ends this at 1:33.
Let’s start wrapping this up. Tatanka wants to get to the top of the WWE and he knows he must get by Martel first. Mountie cuts a promo on Slaughter, too. Next week, we have Money Inc, Shawn Michaels, the Undertaker, Legion of Doom and Nailz in action.
–The Bottom Line–
It’s like I said last time – this is just a dead period. The only thing used to set up these matches is endless talking and it doesn’t help that the matches are being set up for some nebulous time, “in the future.” Man, I wish we can get to the Summerslam hype mode soon, or this will be an endless summer of Superstars.