WWF Superstars 7/5/1991
Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Sacramento, California, home of the Gold Rush. That’s a bit of a dated reference, isn’t it? I mean, wasn’t the gold rush in 1849 (hence the name, 49ers?). The big topic on everyone’s mind is if Randy will pop the question to Elizabeth.
-Undertaker vs. Rob Allen-
Paul Bearer cuts a pre-recorded promo talking about Undertaker and his feud with the Warrior. Bob Allen really has no chance. He takes a chokeslam and a backbreaker before Tombstoning the poor guy back into oblivion at 1:57. The announcers kept talking about Macho and Liz during the entirety of the match.
Speaking of Elizabeth, Mean Gene brings her out to talk about the rumors about her and Macho Man and a possible wedding. Liz says she loves Macho and that draws Randy to the ring. Randy says he loves Liz and gets down on his knees and proposes. They played this a ton of times at Sumemerslam 1991 so I remember this one pretty clearly. Of course, Liz says yes. Gene immediately announces this a match made in heaven, giving Summerslam half of its slogan.
-The Beverly Brothers vs. Scott Key & David Bazo –
This is an interesting trivia question. What was the next match after Macho Man proposed to Liz. Coach cuts a pre-recorded promo saying the Bevs will win the WWE Tag Team Titles. Beau elbows down Key and struts around in a manner very similar to Flair. They version of the 3D ends this at 1:57. Was there a name for that move? I don’t remember them actually doing it to any real tag-teams.
-Jake Roberts vs. Louie Spicolli-
This is the second week in a row that Louie has worked, and both times he has gone on third. Louie gets in some token offense, slugging at Jake in the corner but he misses a splash and his time is over in the limelight. He falls victim to the short-arm clothesline which sets up the DDT to end this at 1:24. The best part of this match was Vince mentioning that Louie won the Hasbro Summerslam sweepstakes and Roddy, without missing a beat, says that is the ONLY way Louie will get to Summerslam. Louie gets the snake treatment post-match.
We head to Sean Mooney who introduces us to some promos including: Ted DiBiase (who promises to end the career of Virgil), and the Bushwhackers. Who knows, or cares, about what they said.
-The Mountie vs. Bob Jones-
Our announcers note that the Mountie is not actually a Mountie. Mountie’s choke-lock takedown ends this at 1:05. Jones gets the shock treatment after the match.
Let’s go back to Mooney. We hear from The Dragon (including his ridiculous get-up) and IRS.
-Bret Hart vs. Haku-
Haku barely gets an introduction. Haku shoulderblocks Bret down early before Bret hiptosses Haku down and into an armbar. Hart tries a crossbody but he’s caught by Haku and Hart falls victim to a backbreaker for two. Bret blocks a shot to the turnbuckle and slugs away. He whips Haku to the corner but a blind charge finds the foot of Haku. Haku misses a second rope elbow allowing Hart to get up and catch his breath. Hart is sent to the ropes and he is able to get around Haku and crucifix Haku for the pinfall at 2:52. It’s always cool to see Hart win without using the Sharpshooter. *1/2.
So we’ve got our match made in Heaven for Summerslam and it’s time for the Match Made in Hell. The Summerslam match of Ultimate Warrior & Hulk Hogan vs. Slaughter, Adnan and Mustafa is officially signed and there’s some mention of a guest referee. Who could it be?
-The Rockers vs. Brooklyn Brawler & Jobber-
Brawler starts with Jannetty and they exchange wristlocks. Brawler misses a clothesline and he’s superkicked down. Brawler tags in his teammate so Michaels is tagged in and he superkicks Jobber. Michaels press-slams Jannetty onto the jobber to end this at 1:53.
A Skinner vignette is next and he tells us the only difference between a WWE Superstar and a gator is, “that a gator don’t scream when you skin it.”
-Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jim Gorman-
Jim is wearing star-spangled tights. It won’t help him. Slaughter pummels the guy as he talks trash to the Warrior and Hogan. The Camel Clutch ends this one at 1:27. The three heels brutalize Gorman after the match. What evil Iraqi’s!
Let’s head to Sean one more time. We hear from the Big Boss Man and his upcoming match with the Mountie. We also hear from Mr. Perfect and his manager, Coach.
We give a preview for next week, with appearances from Perfect, DiBiase, The Natural Disasters and Funeral Parlor with Legion of Doom.
-The Bottom Line-
This was quite the episode. We have the momentous Liz/Savage announcement that set up Summerslam as well as a decent Haku/Hart match. This was a memorable show and well worth the view.