WWF Superstars 8/17/1991
Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Worcester Massachusetts at the Centrum. Worcester is where Mankind won his first WWE title, no? McMahon is with Macho and Piper and the only thing on their minds is Randy’s wedding in two weeks.
We look back on the ongoing saga of the Warrior and the Snake. Jake tells Warrior to enter into a room where Damien lies and Warrior must grab him by the throat. Jake locks Warrior into a room full of snakes. Warrior finds a casket with a cobra in it. The cobra bites the Warrior and Warrior is slowly succumbing to the poison. Warrior bursts out of the door only to lie at the feet of the Undertaker. Jake was in on it all along!
-Bezerker vs. Dave Millison-
Bezerker doesn’t even get an entrance. This is like all other Bezerker matches. He beats the living piss out of his opponents while raving like a Wildman inside the ring before tossing Millison to the outside where he’s counted out at 2:11.
Let’s go to Sean Mooney. The Natural Disasters have words for Andre the Giant and the Bushwhackers and their Summerslam match. The Legion of Doom also have words for the Nasty Boys and Hawk makes a reference to Beetle Bailey. That is certainly something you don’t hear mentioned on WWE Television that often.
-The Texas Tornado vs. Pete Doherty-
The jobber, Pete, looks like he’s 45 years old. Doherty bails to the ropes early but he’s quickly bodyslammed down and armdragged to the outside. Doherty is slugged down in the ring and Kerry uses the famed Von Erich Claw. The move is immediately killed when the JOBBER MAKES THE ROPES AND BREAKS THE HOLD. That’s not a way to get your submission over. The discus punch ends this at 2:50.
We head to Gene Okerlund who references something that Bobby Heenan said last week about Ric Flair. Why does Bobby have the NWA belt, too? Bobby calls Ric the real world’s champion and when he gets to the WWE Bobby Heenan will be his advisor.
-Skinner vs. Mario Mancini-
This would be Skinner’s debut. Skinner dumps Mancini and drives his back into the barricade. We see a pre-taped promo from Skinner. He talks about smashing a bird’s head. Skinner uses an inverted backbreaker before dropping him down and finishing him off at 1:43. I guess it was an impressive squash debut.
We head to Mooney who brings us more promo’s from our Summerslam competitors. This time it is comments from Mr. Perfect (the current IC title holder) and his opponent Bret Hart.
-The Legion of Doom vs. Dwayne Gill and Barry Hardy-
The Legion quickly dump their opponents before Animal starts off with Hardy. Hardy is dropkicked and belly to belly slammed down. We hear from the Nasty Boys during the match, though they don’t have much to say. Hawk comes in and tosses around Hardy, tossing him into his corner so Gill can enter the match. Gill is shoulderblocked down and it’s just a matter of time now. Animal powerslams Gill before the Doomsday Device ends it for him at 3:11. I always enjoy watching LoD squash matches.
We’re with Gene Okerlund and his epic Summerslam Reports. We bring up the matches: the Match Made in Heaven, the Match Made in Hell (with comments from Hogan and the Triangle of Terror), the Intercontinental Title Match, the Tag Team Title Match, the Million Dollar Title Match (with comments from DiBiase and Virgil), the Jailhouse Match (with comments from the Mountie and the Big Boss Man), the Bushwhackers and Disasters match, the Figure-Four/W4 match between IRS and Valentine and the big 6-Man match.
-Jimmy Snuka vs. Brooklyn Brawler-
The bell ring and Snuka turns his back to Brawler. Brawler attacks from behind since the match started already. Brawler shoulderblocks Snuka down but he gets chopped down shortly afterwards. Brawler charges but Snuka leaps out of the way and Brawler ends up outside. Snuka follows and chops away at him. We return to the ring and Snuka armdrags Brawler before bodyslamming him and clotheslining him down. Snuka knocks Brawler down with a flying forearm and keeps him down with a backbreaker. Snuka heads upstairs and finishes this off at 2:45 with a big splash off the top rope. This was a really boring squash match.
-Mr. Perfect vs. Mike Daniels-
Perfect smacks Daniels around and tosses him to the outside. Perfect chops him down outside and Perfect returns to the ring to beat the count. Daniels didn’t make it and this match is over at 1:14. I guess this was because of Perfect’s bad back because this match was really short and Perfect didn’t do any wrestling. Perfect calls out Hart after the match with a microphone inside the ring.
It’s Mooney time and more promos. We hear from Greg Valentine and IRS. We also hear from Steamboat, Tornado and Bulldog for their big 6-man match.
We get a preview for next week and our performers will be: the Natural Disasters, Bret Hart, Sgt. Slaughter, an interview with Sid and an update on the Warrior.
-The Bottom Line-
Jake/Warrior culminated in one of the most overblown sketches you’ll see on WWE TV; there were two count-out victories here, a lot of Summerslam hype and the debut of Skinner. You also can’t forget the ongoing saga of Heenan with the NWA World’s Title and something about Ric Flair. Is that worth a recommendation? Well, I don’t know. You have to get through a lot of filler to get to it but that’s the nature of the beast I suppose. Yeah, this was a decent episode.