WWF Superstars 8/31/1991
Written by: Tom Hopkins
It’s the Summerslam fall-out episode! We’re in Worcester, Massachusetts and Vince McMahon is joined only by Roddy Piper. Where is the Macho Man? Well, maybe the events of his reception may have something to do with his absence. We’ll see more of that later.
-Big Boss Man vs. Barry Hardy-
McMahon teases the events of the reception again. Big Boss Man hits his signature moves in the ring (setting his opponent on the second rope and charging) as we hear more about Savage and his reception and Jake the Snake’s appearance and Sid Justice saving the day? Big Boss Man, fresh off his victory at Summerslam, has another guy calling him out in a pre-recorded promo: IRS. The Boss Man Slam ends this at 2:04. Boss Man cuffs Hardy after the match.
We head to Mean Gene at the Update Center and the talk is still focused on Summerslam. We see highlights of the Match Made in Hell, with Sid posing with Hulk at the end of the match. We get rundowns of the other matches, but no highlights, just still pictures so people will buy the VHS tape when it is released. The Legion of Doom came out champions, as did Virgil, Mountie went to jail, Mr. Perfect was defeated by Hart and finally, the Match Made in Heaven. We see still shots of Jake and Undertaker crashing the reception and Sid coming to the rescue.
-Big Bully Busick vs. Ross Greenberg-
I’ve never actually heard of this guy. He has no entrance music, Harvey Whippleman as a manager (so he’s a bad guy) and a terrible handlebar mustache. He clotheslines the pink-trunked Greenberg in the ring as Roddy asks, “Who is this guy?” I don’t know either, Rod. We hear from the duo in a pre-recorded promo. Was this Harvey’s debut in the WWE, too? Judging by the promo it is. The Bully uses a form of the Stump Puller (but pulling both legs) to get the submission at 2:20. That is a visually unimpressive finisher and I don’t think Busick lasted long in the WWE.
-British Bulldog vs. Brian Donahue-
Vince calls this the battle of the Englishman vs. the Irishman. The Irish would only have to wait another 19 years after this to see one of their countrymen get the WWE title. Donahue tries a shoulderblock that fails miserably. So Bulldog hiptosses him and suplexes him before going to a resthold in a 2-minute squash match. Bulldog clotheslines Donahue in the corner before powerslamming him for the victory at 2:22. I don’t know why Bulldog always uses restholds in a squash.
17 minutes in and we have our first Mooney appearance! We have the usual assortment of promo’s, this time from the Bezerker and Ricky Steamboat.
-Ted DiBiase vs. Mario Mancini-
Ted walks out with Sherri but without the Million Dollar Belt. Ted, still smarting from losing the title, is all over Mancini to start. He drives a knee to the gut of Mancini before suplexing him. DiBiase back drops Mancini, powerslams him and finally ends this at 2:30 with a Million Dollar Dream.
We’re back with Mooney. We hear from the Bushwhackers, who tell kids going back to school to study so they can be like them. Mooney notes they may not be poster children for higher learning. Yeah, no shit. We also hear from Skinner.
-Greg Valentine vs. Phil Apollo-
Unfortunately, since it is 1991, you don’t really know who the jobber is in this match. The Hammer goes after the arm of Apollo. Hammer drives down Apollo with a brainbuster. McMahon and Piper talk about Savage wanting revenge and McMahon noting that Savage is retired thanks to the events of Wrestlemania VII. Apollo misses a dropkick so the Hammer elbow drops him before logically heading to the next movie, the Figure Four. This ends things at 2:32. The Figure Four was never really set up at all, but it’s a jobber match so who am I to complain about psychology.
We head to Paul Bearer and the Funeral Parlor. Bearer brings out Bobby Heenan who has with him the Big Gold Belt. This belt belongs to Ric Flair, the REAL world’s champion. Heenan goes on to call Piper a big mouth and calls him out. Piper leaves the announce table and crashes the Funeral Parlor. Piper says that Hogan is the only real champion, and that he scares Flair. Heenan says Flair would have Piper shining his title. Piper spits on the belt and throws it on the ground and then spits at Heenan.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Tony Ricca-
If you’ve seen one Hacksaw match you’ve seen them all. He throws clotheslines, chants USA, goes Hoooooo, and finishes with the three-point stance clothesline. Hacksaw takes things a step further by slamming the poor jobber’s head into the concrete floor. This garbage ends at 1:32.
-The Beverly Brothers vs. Tony Diamond & Jim Powers-
Ugh, a Hacksaw match followed by the Beverly’s? What have I stumbled into? The 3D ends this but it looked blown and the poor jobber falls right on his neck.
Let’s head to Mooney for a final round of promo’s. The Texas Tornado calls the WWE the new wave of wrestling and we keep with the weather theme with the Natural Disasters. We have a preview of next week (Warlord, the Bushwhackers, IRS at the Funeral Parlor, and Virgil) and there will be exclusive footage of the Wedding reception, too.
-The Bottom Line-
Well, 7 matches is good, but the talent on here was just way bad. I guess none of the stars traveled to Worcester, MA? The first twenty minutes wasn’t bad, but that last stretch was tough to get through. Next week doesn’t look too promising, either.