Written by: Arnold Furious
I last reviewed WCW’s New Blood Rising. A truly awful show I pretty much skipped on the PBP and left the show as a series of attacks on the stupidity of the bookers, namely Vince Russo. His “shoot” booking had seen a few dreadful segments appear on WCW programming. Most notably Goldberg’s refusal to “follow the script” at New Blood Rising. All the fans know it’s a work but you don’t tell them it’s a work on TV and then claim that one of the wrestlers isn’t going along with the finish. Why not? Because it’s retarded. It generates no heat. It generates no money. It confuses rubes and irritates smart fans. And the last thing WCW needed in 2000 was dumb angles guaranteed to lose what little viewers they had left. Things were so bad in WCW that its Saturday Night show, the one WTBS had aired for TWENTY SEVEN YEARS as a wrestling show, was quietly cancelled. In response to this problem WCW’s cost cutting increased. They let as many wrestlers go as they possibly could. Anyone who was no longer of use and couldn’t earn money was canned. They dropped the roster by a huge number releasing people left and right. Interestingly enough, and probably thanks to Russo, included in the culling was every single Mexican wrestler not named Rey Mysterio Jr or Juventud Guerrera. Just when you thought that Russo’s booking couldn’t get anymore retarded along came September 25th 2000. In a cage match with run in’s from the majority of what remained of the roster Vince Russo beat Booker T to become the WCW heavyweight champion. I don’t even know what reasoning he had for this drawing any money. Perhaps because Vince McMahon had run the same angle with himself the previous year. Only Vince McMahon was a world famous promoter and on air talent and Vince Russo was a writer. And yet it got worse. He had to vacate the title because he had a concussion so there wasn’t even the meagre pay off that was expected. No revenge for Booker. Instead Booker had to wrestle Jeff Jarrett…again. In one of the dumbest matches ever conceived…the 49’er Box Match. Four boxes on each ring post contained various items. In one box was the world title. Booker broke the box open and because it wasn’t rigged properly the belt fell onto the floor and was picked up ring announcer Dave Penzer. Technically Penzer was now WCW champion. Luckily not even Russo was stupid enough to actually book that. Even with a concussion.
Meanwhile the company’s number one draw Goldberg was booked by Russo into a series of matches designed to repeat the 176 match streak. If he lost at all he was fired. One of the few other over talents remaining was Ric Flair so naturally when they visited Flair’s home town they had him arrested at the top of the show and carted away. The crowd chanted “bullshit” for five straight minutes. Luckily Russo didn’t survive long enough to follow through on his next genius storyline for the Flair family; naming himself as the father of Stacey Kiebler’s unborn child. Not that she was even pregnant. Gotta love WCW. All of this was too much for Juvi Guerrera who, probably missing his fired Mexican colleagues, went completely insane in Australia and ran around a hotel naked threatening to kill himself while extremely fucking high on drugs. Suffice to say Juvi joined the list of Mexican wrestlers fired by WCW in 2000. Scott Hall was fired too seeing as he hadn’t been on TV in ages and was essentially mixing his time between rehab and the nearest bar to rehab. Bret Hart also lost his job seeing as he was effectively retired. Would WCW save some more money and give Vince Russo the shove? No, not quite. He was sent home on full pay. Mainly because he had brain damage. Although if his track record was anything to go by either a) he was brain damaged long before 1999 or b) his shows after getting brain damage couldn’t be any worse than the ones he booked with a clear state of mind.
We’re in Las Vegas, Nevada. Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden and, oh boy, Stevie Ray.
Tag titles – Natural Born Thrillers (Jindrak/O’Haire) (c) v Boogie Nights (Alex Wright/Disco Inferno) v Filthy Animals (Kidman/Rey)
Given the lack of guys with actual ability WCW decided to go with youth and build from scratch. Not a bad idea but both O’Haire and Jindrak were really green and young. They did have impressive size and raw ability though. Jindrak was especially green. If the WWE sign you because you’re big and can’t make anything of you then you’re fucked. This is the same company that pushed Nathan Jones, Mark Henry and anyone else over 6’ 2”. When the kids aren’t involved in this match it’s pretty good. Wright and Disco are kinda goofy and the Animals are over. The Thrillers end up getting better wrestlers fed to them to make them look better. The Thrillers can’t bump or sell so it’s probably for the best. This match is all spots by the way as you’d expect from a 3-way tag. The crowd basically hate everyone but Rey, which means he gets to throw some high risk offence to keep the crowd into it. Konnan joins commentary to make matters even worse on there. O’Haire looks ridiculously green in there missing one of Disco’s punches altogether. Crowd gets all over Disco who’s supposed to be wrestling face…I think. Wright misses a high knee by about a foot thanks to Jindrak bumping it early. Kidman is dumb enough to take the Tower of Doom superplex in a nice spot. Everytime Konnan uses the word “cranberry” I want to smash his face in. Rey drops the dime on O’Haire who’s inconsistently selling a knee injury. Or he’s just hurt. The Thrillers double biel Kidman in from the floor, which is really cool. Everyone hits dives and the camera misses most of them. The commentary on this is as much of a spotfest as the wrestling. Alex Wright throws himself over the top rope for no apparent reason. O’Haire breaks out the Seanton bomb to finish Disco after Rey had dropped the dime once again at 10.06. **. That wasn’t that bad. Sure it was spotty with no flow but it was fun, which is a big improvement on the norm. Thrillers looked really green though and should have been more limited in involvement than they were.
POST MATCH Alex Wright breaks out the terrible chair shots. The Wall runs in for the save.
Hardcore title – Reno (c) v Sgt AWOL
AWOL used to be the Wall and that’s easier to type so I’m going with that. Reno has never caught on anywhere since WCW closed so unless you were watching in 2000 you don’t know him. This is hardcore and Reno has a kendo stick and bashes Wall around before throwing him through a table. Reno was in the Natural Born Thrillers. He retired in 2002. We get a series of lame trashcan shots and assorted other plunder shots. Crowd don’t care. They especially don’t care because the table spot happened five seconds into the match. Madden keeps screaming “old school hardcore” for some reason. Reno can’t fit a trashcan over his head for the usual comedy spot because his shoulders are too big. Reno goes low to avoid the chokeslam and hits the Roll of the Dice on the ramp. He could easily pin for the win but decides instead he wants to set up the next spot by stacking tables. Wall gets back up and Blue Thunders Reno through the tables. How dumb is Reno? Wall is too dumb to pin as well so the match continues. At least the commentators are berating the talent for not covering. Wall throws a monitor at Reno, which has graphics drawn onto it. More garbage spots follow backstage. The commentators start making cryptic remarks about the Internet. Are they shooting? Ah, who gives a shit. Wall messes around with a table for ages, which is blatantly setting for the finish and Reno gives him the Roll of the Dice on the table for the win at 10.48. ½*. Nothing much doing there. At least they looked capable but nothing more. Ten minutes of garbage shots with no blood is really boring.
POST MATCH the Thrillers run out here to beat on Wall. Why not do it during the match? Seeing as it was hardcore and perfectly legal and would have protected Wall on the finish? Two other Misfits in Action make the save and that is super lame because there’s no effort from anyone involved and no urgency and it just looks like crap.
BACKSTAGE Kronik tell the WCW doctors that Goldberg has a serious neck injury and won’t be able to compete.
The Perfect Event (Sean Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo) v MIA (Chavo Guerrero Jr/Lash LeRoux
This just got added based on what happened in the ring. So it’s a special added match that no one wants to see. Chavo is the only guy that’s of any use in here and he looks horrifically unmotivated. LeRoux looks to have gone backwards since being given additional crappy gimmick of Corporal Cajun. Madden tries to make a Dynamite Kid joke, which goes over badly. Palumbo fucks up a hot shot and Chavo has to save himself. The Perfect Event argue about an Irish whip. I’m not sure exactly what they were arguing about. “Right, we whip him together”, “no, we whip at the same time”. “Together”. “At the same time”. “TOGETHER!” “AT THE SAME TIME!” Anyway, they argue but get some heatless heat on Chavo regardless. All of WCW’s new guys were so rushed into the spotlight. They’re just so clueless. Stasiak totally whiffs a clothesline/punch as LeRoux bumps it too early. Jesus. There are maybe six workers in WCW in 2000 that were actually good enough. Which is really sad when you think about it and the probable reason why the invasion angle tanked so badly. Lack of talent on the WCW side. Crowd sounds bored as LeRoux continues to blow stuff. The hot tag gains very little reaction. This is painful to watch. Three of the guys out there are totally clueless. They finally manage to set up the finish after fucking it up three or four times. Palumbo accidentally superkicks Stasiak into a Chavo tornado DDT at 9.21. DUD. Just brutally amateurish. I would happily have fired LeRoux and Stasiak on the spot. If you don’t give a shit then fuck you. Get out of the ring. Let someone else get in there.
BACKSTAGE Konnan has a bad knee. The other Animals say they’ve already wrestled so can’t take his spot. Konnan who said he wanted to wrestle anyway is pissed off because they won’t help. What?
Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson v Konnan/Tigress
Madden gets over excited about Torrie being dressed as Wonder Woman and almost admits to jerking off to the TV show. Torrie is essentially filling in for Francine as Shane re-hashes his ECW gimmick. Tigress isn’t the most talented of the Nitro Girls. Even without any training, like the WWE stuff she got, Torrie is far superior. Tigress can’t even do the stomps right. Konnan eventually gets down here but he’s injured so Shane makes short work of him. Konnan goes from having a back injury to start with to doing the Rolling Clothesline after about 5 seconds. You’re a joke! This match has yet to feature any tags. It’s just shit. The only good thing about it is Torrie’s outfit. Worse still Shane gets schooled by Tigress with an arm ringer. I’m rolling my eyes here. She controls for quite some time and even reverses back into it before Shane punches her in the face. Yeah, he needs to cheat to get out of a simple wrestling hold. Torrie and her boobies make it in. That’s the stuff of dreams. Jigglin’ titties. They should have given me a slo-mo replay of that one. After all there’s no way Torrie is in that outfit for anything other than gratuitous T & A. Shane gets himself schooled by Tigress again. I bet he loved hearing about the booking on this one! Charles Robinson takes a Broncobuster off Tigress. And then for some reason Torrie hits the Franchiser on Konnan. Why are the women, who can’t wrestle AT ALL, being booked so strong here? They’ve both totally out wrestled their opposing number. But then they go to a totally different finish where Shane takes a double X-Factor for the pin at 8.38 while Torrie sits around watching instead of, yanno, breaking the fall. -***.
BACKSTAGE Mean Gene is talking to David Flair who blames Buff Bagwell for knocking up his fiance. Tonight they have a, sigh, “DNA match”. The idea being that he makes Buff bleed so they can take the DNA off him.
Buff Bagwell v David Flair
Buff just about manages to get the apathetic crowd going by slapping David in the face. Of course it doesn’t help that WCW insists on putting guys who can’t wrestle in the ring one match after another and not even making the matches fun. Buff hits a neckbreaker and yawns. He continues to bury David by ignoring a sunset flip and instead busting out the muscle pose. Flair does the corner bump like his old man but then goes up top and gets thrown off like his old man. Buff poses some more. Quite how any of this causes bleeding I don’t know. Flair takes the face bump. Buff pulls Flair’s shirt off and forces into muscle poses for his own amusement. Flair kicks him in the balls. Heh. This is a flat out comedy match, which shows how seriously they’re taking this angle. Flair tries for a piledriver on the floor but Buff backdrops out. Why is the ref counting them out though? It’s a first blood match. Flair gets a chair but Buff moves. Buff then goes low and bashes Flair over the ropes where he rolls under the apron so he can blade. He takes his sweet fucking time over it. It’s also a lame bladejob. Buff adds in the Blockbuster and the ref finally spots the blood and this is over at 5.33. I guess the idea being they knew the match would suck so they kept it short. Explain the length of all the other matches then? DUD.
POST MATCH Lex Luger is out here to celebrate with Buff but then clotheslines him. Hey, a pointless heel turn. Great. Buff bleeds from the mouth and Flair gets his blood sample.
BACKSTAGE Flair gets a little extra camera time. When he’s bleeding and panting he looks like Ric. The suggestion is that Flair bled all over the sample so it’s not pure.
ELSEWHERE Goldberg arrives.
ELSEWHERE Scott Steiner rants at…erm…Pamela Paulshock? Steiner rambles incoherently about beating up Booker T.
Kickboxing match – Mike Sanders w/the Perfect Event v Ernest Miller w/Miss Jones
The winner gets to be commissioner of WCW. The dissention between the Perfect Event is now ignored because it’s not relevant to this storyline so why aren’t they backstage? Get someone else to corner Sanders. Like it matters. This is boxing style so it’s three rounds. Luckily they’re only two minutes each. Sanders fares badly and gets knocked down with a boot to the face after 30 seconds. Miller follows up with more kicks and sweeps the leg. Madden cries foul claiming precedent in the Karate Kid. That’s round one. A lame pull apart finishes it. Madden scores round one to Sanders despite him being knocked down twice. Miller boxes Sanders into the corner and sweeps the leg again. Madden claims it’s the old Rope-A-Dope. Sanders tries some offence but gets picked off easily with another legsweep and Sanders is swiftly knocked out with a punch. The Perfect Event fight over throwing the towel in. Sanders somehow makes it to his feet and the round is over. Perfect Event are arguing so in comes Shane Douglas to break that up. Sanders can’t even get out of his corner at the start of the third round and the ref is too busy arguing with the heels to notice. Miller breaks out a cartwheel kick and Sanders is knocked down again. The heels jump on the apron and Douglas knocks Miller out with a chain, which would be fine if the camera hadn’t picked up Miller shouting “get the chain” to Shane right beforehand. Miller gets counted out as the round ends but the ref doesn’t count to ten. Oh dear. Messy. Miller is back up and he superkicks Sanders. Miller goes out to brawl with Shane Douglas and somehow he gets counted out doing that after the fight is over. -****. Booked by a total fucking moron and executed by idiots.
BACKSTAGE the WCW doctors quiz Goldberg who says he’ll be fine to wrestle tonight.
”That 70’s Guy” Mike Awesome v Vampiro
Why give a total badass like Awesome a gimmick that’s the polar opposite of his character? And why have him wrestle a guy like Vampiro who can’t sell/bump/work right? How’d Vampiro ever survive talent cuts in the first place? Well, I wouldn’t have fired him. I’d have given a gay gimmick and changed his name to Campiro. At least he could still wear his make-up and he wouldn’t have to change his style. He doesn’t suck blood he sucks…something else. Vampiro wants Awesome to put his title shot on the line tonight. Vampiro does his best to ruin the match by working stiff and not bumping right. Awesome fucks up the suicide dive by clipping the ropes. Vampiro takes right back over anyway but then gets backdropped into the crowd. They brawl into the crowd where some fan attacks Mike Awesome. Well, they deserved that. Vampiro tries to kick the fuck out of him. Awesome actually does. Back to ringside where Vampiro fucks up a diving clothesline off the announce table. We get a chair duel, which would be cool if Vampiro didn’t suck. He tries to set up a Van Daminator only with a superkick because he can’t do a spin kick right but he fucks up the superkick as well. And the timing on the throw. Basically I’m surprised he can get enough co-ordination to breathe. He utterly fucks up a clothesline. They go up top and Vampiro fucks up a belly to belly superplex. I would NEVER agree to any move off the top with Captain Fuck Up. Awesome was damn lucky not to land on his head. Diving…fuck up by Vampiro. How’d this guy get hired? Hey, I’m Vampiro. I can’t do anything without dangerously fucking up but I do have my own make up and a “gothic” look. Hired! Vampiro fucks up a bouncing the face off the table spot. Can he do anything? Vampiro is the worst wrestler to ever compete in a major wrestling company. He looks around for something under the ring but he can’t find it. So he goes back in. Then he goes out to look again. Awesomebomb on the floor…for 2. Who said it was pinfalls count anywhere? And why doesn’t Vampiro just die and make me happy? Back inside Vampiro blows a couple of punches. Awesome counters him into the Awesomebomb off the top at 9.49. -*****. Congratulations Vamp, you’re like a negative Flair. Vampiro could have a negative star match with anyone. The guy is a genius. Or a total embarrassment to wrestling. One or the other.
– This show is running way too long. Normally around this point the WWE would be starting to hype their main event. In WCW we’re still in the midcard going from one crap match to the next.
Lance Storm/Jim Duggan w/Major Gunns v General Rection
This is for Storm’s Canadian title. Formally the US title. Storm cuts a great pre-match promo in his usual monotone. His reaction to the Canadian national anthem being interrupted by the babyface’s music is priceless too. Major Gunns is basically held captive out here by the Canadian contingent. Duggan is in the midst of a bizarre heel run that thankfully no one remembers. Naturally he turned heel because no one would expect it. Great theory Vince. No one expected it because it’s retarded. At least this is over because Storm is such an awesome heel. Morrus is a sympathetic babyface with the odds against him. It works. Duggan starts out and that’s terrible. How hard would it be to just book Morrus and Storm? After all Storm can bump and sell and make someone like Morrus look good. Morrus ignores a few Canadian chops and turns Storm around for some good old fashioned America chops. Storm bumps around to help the match out and low bridges Morrus. Major Gunns is looking on. Mmmm. Stevie Ray talks about how he doesn’t understand why Major Gunns has her name. He’s totally dead panning it too, which makes it actually funny. The heat on this one drags along. The crowd amuse themselves by chanting “USA”. Duggan goes for the Three Point Stance but Morrus cuts him off for a double clothesline. Heels miscue, twice. Duggan can barely even stand up now because he’s so gassed. Ref does a nice drop down spot swiftly followed by a ref bump. Duggan hits a piledriver but the ref is still down. The lame kickout causes another ref bump. In comes Elix Skipper with the Canadian 2 x 4 but Major Gunns hits him with the flag. Ha, pussy. Gunns throws the 2 x 4 into the ring but Morrus ducks and hits a Russian legsweep. He then misses the No Laughing Matter moonsault but just about wings Duggan enough to pick up the pin at 10.06. Perhaps Duggan was just too blown up to kick out. He didn’t need to even hit a move. So Morrus wins the US title and Major Gunns’ freedom. DUD. Match sucked. Major Gunns is hot.
BACKSTAGE Pamela Paulshock gets to ask Jeff Jarrett a few questions. Jarrett talks about ending Sting’s career. Shouldn’t have hired him for TNA if he wanted his career finished really. The idea behind the storyline is that Jarrett has questioned Sting’s heart and claimed he’s over the hill whilst running a series of mocking impersonations.
Jeff Jarrett v Sting
Sting is still over, which is something considering how badly the character has been buried over the past three years. Jeff hides outside but Sting is in no mood to wait and bails to attack him with a chair. That’s pretty lame. WCW; where chair shots always suck. Jarrett gets whupped from pillar to post getting zero offence. That is until 80’s Sting comes out here. Sting bails to beat that guy up. The fake Sting thing was brought in to confuse the fans during the nWo angle. Now this is just stupid. 80’s Sting gets hit with a Scorpion Deathdrop on the stage. This leads into a brawl into the crowd. This leads to the arrival of another Sting from the early 90’s. This one is laughably bad so Sting kicks the crap out him too and throws him over the top rope at the second attempt. Madden claims that’s a DQ and early 90’s Sting wins. Up onto the stage where 90’s Sting takes a hip toss on the stage then a Scorpion Deathdrop. How about fighting Jarrett? Even Tony points out that Jarrett is getting a breather while all this is going on even though he’s so far got in zero offence and likewise for his Stings. Out comes Wolfpac Sting and that’s the most convincing one to date aside from the big goofy smile. Sting bails to kick his ass. Seeing as Wolfpac Sting has a baseball bat Sting uses it on him and it’s another Deathdrop on the stage. Jarrett runs up there and grabs the bat to finally get some offence in after 7 minutes and 3 run in’s and he only needed a bat to do it. Jarrett beats on Sting for about a minute before putting on a sleeper. Preparing to fast forward! Sting switches out but Jarrett hits a back suplex. Sting gets back up and starts to hulk up. It should be all over as Sting straps Jarrett in the Scorpion Deathlock but nWo Sting comes up through the mat and drags Sting under the mat. This guy fares pretty badly and gets himself busted open under the ring. Two Stinger splashes for Jarrett and the lights are out. And down comes another Sting from the roof. Sting finds this one just as funny especially after his wig falls off. In fact that’s probably the same guy who came out as 80’s Sting. Anyway, Sting gives him the Deathdrop through the announce table in a pretty cool spot. Sting goes back in and STILL easily beats Jarrett but #4 Sting jumps back in there with a guitar shot. Which gets him the Deathdrop as well but Jarrett has ANOTHER fake guitar, which Sting eats for the pin at 14.39. -*1/2. What was the point? Jarrett needed five run in’s and three good weapons shots to get the win. What does that say about him? This is the kind of booking that causes TNA fans to chant “fire Russo”.
BACKSTAGE Pam Paulshock gets words with Booker. She asks about Goldberg but he talks about Scott Steiner. He says he’s going to buy Goldberg some more time by defending the title before the main event. Very big of him.
WCW title – Booker T (c) v Scott Steiner w/Midajah
WCW had a weird backwards thing here where the heel is chasing the belt rather than the babyface, which is the normal thing for down south. Steiner jumps agent Ricky Santana for having this match take place before Goldberg’s match. Midajah is looking very chesty this evening. Steiner seems to blame Stevie Ray as well. And the fans. And Booker, obviously. But then Steiner is completely nuts. Stevie Ray tries to shill how big the atmosphere is for this one although the heat is about on a par with the opening matches in WWF at the same time. Well, not for the tag teams. The tag teams in 2000 WWF were getting far more heat than this. Booker throws a flying forearm for 2 and Steiner bails out. Steiner gets pissed off with some fans and dives over the rail. This guy was a disaster waiting to happen. Midajah points out the match is in the ring. Steiner finds himself out matched in the ring where Booker hits him with a spin kick. Midajah trips Booker up and that gives Steiner his first opening. He uses a chair, which is a blatant DQ but the ref lets it go. Steiner puts Booker through the announce table, which has already been broken several times. Steiner stops off to shout abuse at Stevie Ray. Steiner gets in the ref’s face for a near fall and chokes Charles Robinson under the ropes. That’s also a DQ but they’re saying that Steiner so intimidates the referee that he won’t DQ him out of fear. The crowd do want to see Steiner get fucked up because he’s such a jerk though. Steiner with a fallaway slam off the top and he stops off to do some push up’s. Steiner goes low and the ref let’s that go as well. Steiner clearly isn’t in the mood to sell anything here and no sells a whip into the rail. Stevie says Steiner will never be world champ because he’s got no control. Steiner tries to no sell some more but Booker kicks him in the face. Booker tries off the top but Midajah trips him up again. Wow, she really has some severe cleavage on the go there. Missile dropkick gets 2. Axe kick should finish this but Booker is hurt or tired and Steiner rolls into the ropes. Midajah throws the pipe in and Steiner nails Booker with it then takes out the referee. That’s about six DQ’s now. Steiner Recliner is on but there’s no ref. Another one runs in but Steiner punks him out and hits a t-bone. Back to the Recliner. Midajah has the pipe again, which handily bends over the third referee as he’s calling the DQ at 13.27. *1/2. Terrible booking. Terrible jackass in the form of Steiner who looked like an insane lunatic with no sense of direction.
POST MATCH Steiner eyeballs Stevie. Jarrett runs out to try and calm Steiner down because they’re running out of PPV time and have a match to go. Stevie chews him out on commentary some more telling everyone that Steiner has no discipline.
Goldberg v Kronik
Goldberg has to beat both guys. If he loses he’s fired. Meanwhile the commentary team are plugging Booker v Awesome tomorrow night, which is a match I actually want to see. Kronik celebrate before Goldberg is even out here. The athletic commission approach Dillenger backstage and say Goldberg is cleared. Out he comes. Goldberg pretty much ignores WCW’s top tag team. I think he takes one bump. Kronik get obsessed with killing him with a table. Goldberg fights both guys off and spears Clark through the table for the pin at 2.25.
Goldberg forgets he has another guy to beat and celebrates. Adams with a full nelson slam. Goldberg ducks a clothesline. Spear. Jackhammer. Adams takes the loss at 3.42. 14-0 on the new streak. ¼*.
Final Thoughts: Truly dreadful. Alarmingly bad across the board. One of the worst PPV’s ever.
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.