Written by: Sean McCaffrey from http://www.declarationofindependents.net/doi/pages/index1.html
Now moving on, today I went to CSWF (Cyber Space Wrestling Federation). The show started on time, in Rahway, NJ. Fortunately, for CSWF, they had a bus that delivered and showed up, but unfortunately, the bus delivered no people. That really sucks as the show was pretty decent, but with wrestling in a huge down trend it’s hard to get fans to pony up money to travel to watch indy shows. It also doesn’t help when there are 85 promotions in running in New Jersey, and most people can’t be going to wrestling every weekend. I’ll save that rant for a later time, but onto the review.
Beware the F-Bomb.
Your officials are Jim Molinaro and Scott Dickenson. The ring announcer is Gerry Strauss. Your photographer is Robert “Stop talking about my leather pants” Payes. Your official ring crew and cool ass people are Luscious Lily and Alere Little Feather, who didn’t have any beer lol. Your attendance is around the 80 range, a big improvement from last time. Your building is the Center Circle which I am slowly starting to hate. I mean the building is always so fucking hot, and don’t sell beer. What the fuck is that shit. Anyway, slowly, CSWF is picking up steam and fixing past mistakes, and are doing the right things.
PRESHOW: Picked up my Asian friend, had a 6 pack of Miller HighLife for El Gimmicko, and had some Chinese food. Wordlife.
Show started off with a 9/11 American poem followed by the National Anthem. This was about 10 minutes long. I am all for the nationalism and patriotism, but doing all these tributes at a wrestling show really doesn’t want to make you watch wrestling. I go, and I know a lot of people go to watch wrestling to take their minds off of what is going on around them in life. Spending 10 minutes talking about 9/11 was more of a bummer and didn’t really pump me up to watch wrestling. Maybe it’s just me though.
For the CSWF Cruiserweight Championship
“Showtime” Shawn Sheridan d. Rob Eckos w/Matt “Watch out for the Gerbil” Striker and Miss Michelle via DQ
PREMATCH: Sheridan and Eckos didn’t want to wrestle straight up. So the next logical thing instead of having a wrestling match would be to play musical chairs. I am not kidding. 3 chairs get set up in the ring, and it’s time to watch Eckos, Sheridan, Michelle, and Striker play musical chairs. For all of you keeping score at home, Striker was out first, then Michelle. We are down to Sheridan and Eckos. FEEL THE POWER OF PRO WRESTLING. The music starts up, and as Eckos grabs the chair to sit down in it as the music fades, Sheridan pulls it away from him, and Eckos gets an assful of canvas. This was actually a pretty humorous segment, but after 10 minutes of a 9/11 tribute, and 10 minutes of this, I just wanted to watch wrestling. This would’ve been a better placed segment later on in the show, in my opinion.
As far as the match, the match was pretty decent. I was sitting with honorary DOI Member Abby and Mr. Ray Sager. Abby made a good point, that she hasn’t seen Eckos wrestle a serious match without some sort of shenanigans. After thinking about it, I sort of agree, and outside of the J-Cup vs Jay Lethal, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen Rob Eckos actually be able to go all out and wrestle without any games. Rob Eckos is a fantastic wrestler, has a great look and very talented on the microphone. He is the complete package, and I think wrestling more serious one on one matches, like say a Chris Daniels, Mike Kruel, Samoa Joe etc, is not unrealistic for Rob. It would definitely push him up in the upper echelon of indy wrestlers. Sheridan’s whole personality is to play the games, and tonight I was poppin huge for his music. He came out to the “Legend Of Zelda” Nintendo music. That was hot. He was announced as the 1988 NES Regional Champion or something along those lines. This match was pretty short, and saw some good wrestling, but left me wanting to see these guys straight up wrestle with no bullshit. Sheridan wins after Striker interferes in the match. Eckos keeps the belt by dq.
Mike Tenay and Crowbar come to the ring out next for a special CSWF interview segment. CSWF has hired a new interviewer, her name is Dusty Shelton. Tenay had me cracking up as he told Dusty, “The last Dusty I saw was 200 pounds more, and let me tell you something lady, YOU are the real American dream.” Can’t argue lol. Tenay pretty much put over NWA TNA as the hot shizzit of wrestling. Tenay then goes off on a rant saying Meltzer calls him a great heel manager. Tenay then says he’s not a heel manager, and Meltzer is wrong for saying that. That part went over the crowds head, as I understand Tenay talking about wrestling websites on this show, since after all, it is CYBER space wrestling, no one knew what he was talking about. After putting TNA over some more, he introduced us to Trinity, which set up…
For the vacant CSWF Women’s Championship
Trinity d. April Hunter
It should be noted that Alexis Laree was the former CSWF Womens champ. No mention of why she was stripped was mentioned. I know they might not want to have talked about what happened the last time Alexis showed up at CSWF, but they could’ve at least said this title is so important, that the WWE took our champion, making Alexis look good and CSWF look good. Instead, this match was thrown together, even though I’m not complaining, as I think April and Trinity are great wrestlers.
It should also be noted that this was booked as a CSWF vs TNA match. Where the CSWF vs TNA feud came from, I have no idea, but it sounds cool. Another note is April Hunter used to work for TNA, so it would’ve been cool if they made some mention of that, and tell April that you’re not good enough to work TNA or something, just to push the match and give a reason why these two are fighting, and put some more gusto in it.
This match was pretty good, and featured some cool psychology. April worked Trinity’s right arm, even hitting some sort of armbar tarantula in the corner. The one thing I didn’t get is that Crowbar was allowed to be at ringside and interfere in this match, while Slyk Wagner Brown was no where to be found. Very well wrestled match, but another screwjob was in the lurking. The finish saw Trinity get the win, after Crowbar tripping, then holding April Hunter’s legs down, as the ref slapped 3. 2 matches, no clean finishes.
Slyk Wagner Brown d. Xavier
No Big Red with Slyk, due to her match previous. The fans wanted Team SWB and Big Red together, but alas it wasn’t meant to be tonight. This match started off really hot and had great wrestling, until 5 minutes in. Xavier threw Slyk to the ropes, and Slyk went to go on the ropes like a Rey Misterio Jr. 619 victim, when all of a sudden the middle ring rope broke and collapsed! Whoops! Fire the ring crew lol! So we got a ring rope laying in the middle of the ring. I gotta say that Slyk and Xavier are 2 fuckin true pros and the masters of improvisation. With the match basically not going to go where it was supposed to go, these two put out an enjoyable match. As soon as the ring went down, neither men was fazed for more than a second. Xavier went to hit the ropes, but very comically lightly tapped them, getting the crowd approval. Slyk then got the advantage on Xavier, and went to put him in a submission hold, but since the middle ring rope was laying in the center of the ring, Xavier grabbed it in the middle of the ring, and the ref called to break the hold. Best spot of the night for me lol. After a few more submissions and restricted mat wrestling, Slyk hits the Appreciation Bomb for the win. Crowd was diggin this.
Intermission.
Intermission 3 matches in, is usually a sign an emergency or a short show. The ring crew couldn’t fix the ring, due to not having a spare rope. So what happened was the bottom rope got moved to the middle ring rope. So the ring had two ropes, and no bottom rope. I figured every match would be figure four leg locks, as there would be no bottom rope to grab, but I digress.
The Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz (EC Negro/KC Blade) d. The Solution (Papadon/Havok) w/John Shane
I don’t know if this is a good thing or bad thing, but this was the best wrestling match on the show. Why I say good/bad thing, is because it was a tag match and didn’t feature and of the “name” guys on the show. Lots of action in this one. John Shane is still the best manager in the indies. EC Negro is a “king” of crowd control. Tonight, as a good guy, the crowd really rallied behind him and his partner. Another side bar, how much does it hurt an area, when the JAP Tag Champions, The DRS, who wrestle in the same building for JAP, and have a show for JAP in two weeks, are the ultimate bad guys, but are over the top good guys tonight? What other promotions do in an area, do affect other promotions, in my opinion. Back to the match, we saw some great wrestling, featuring yakuza kicks, problem solvers, dirty rotten drivers. Unfortunately, there were no suicide dives. DRS pick up the win, when Tara Charisma and Rapid Fire interfere. Rapid Fire hits Shane, and gets Shane to run away. Tara then throws salt in Shane’s eyes. Papadon is watching this going on, and Negro takes advantage of the distraction and gets the pinfall victory. I thought the DRS/Solution match in ICW was better, but others disagreed. I think I liked their other match better because the crowd was more energetic, and I thought the wrestlers were more energetic and lively in that bout. Still the best match on this show. Close to a PAW match, but I am really sick of these stupid finishes. Come on, 4 matches down, 1 ended clean after the ring breaks.
POSTMATCH: John Shane wigs out and says this wont happen again. He then promises to ruin someone later on, and that Solution will beat up any tag team. Word.
New Jersey Streetfight
PREMATCH: It was supposed to be Firehawk vs Austin, but Firehawk says Austin has to go through Smoke first. Who really gives a fuck?
“Ice Cold” Brian Austin and Smoke went to a no contest.
I know I said this before, and I know I don’t like to say someone sucks, but these two fucking suck sweaty balls. Seriously, do you think that with TNA watching this show, they are saying, “Well you know, this fake Rock (smoke) and fake Stone Cold Steve Austin (“Ice Cold” Brian Austin) would really be great additions to our rosters. Maybe they could feud with Raven and Jeff Jarrett.” N-word please, I’m so sick of seeing these trash matches involving these two. Say what you want about people like Josh Deely, Motivator, or any other USA Pro ticket seller, at least they are fucking creative enough to come up with their own shit. The Smoke kept saying “The Smoke says..” Well the fucking MiC says “know your role and get me a beer you fucking gimmick stealing reject.” Ice Cold Brian Austin can get me a beer too, as he is waste of time and should never be allowed to wrestle again. This match fucking sucked big time, seriously are they selling 9797 tickets to work this show? Wait, with the attendance today, obviously not. I guess I come off “pissy” as CSWF had the best indy wrestlers on this show, coupled in with the fact that they are the only promotion in this area to use TNA guys, and while putting a good foot forward, they still put on this shit that keeps the fans away. Ice Cold hits an Ice Cold Stunner and Firehawk then gets the microphone. Firehawk then says it’s time for Jackie Dreamer to wrestle Ice Cold. So Ice Cold vs Smoke goes to a no contest. I can’t believe I’m wasting my time writing about this shit. Anyway, Jackie Dreamer comes out, and thank god says, “This sucks and you’re embarrassing CSWF.” At least someone has a brain here. Dreamer tells Firehawk to wrestle his own battles. So now we are down to what was originally booked, but took 20 minutes to get to…
Firehawk d. “Ice Cold” Brian Austin
Firehawk is also the promoter of CSWF. Why he felt the need to lessen his show is beyond me. This show is a great card top to bottom and this was the majorly weak part of the show. Firehawk, stick to the promoting and maintaining the TNA deal, as that is working. The wrestling, and having Ice Cold and Smoke on the shows aren’t. I mean, this is “X-pac heat” where people don’t want to watch it, not where they are booing a wrestler. Firehawk gets the win in this shitfest.
POSTMATCH: Firehawk gives a pro CSWF speech and talks smack about TNA. Well Firehawk, considering that Smoke, Austin and yourself wrestle for CSWF, I think I’ll root for TNA too.
Hungarian Barbarian w/Miss Asia and Mana “The Polynesian Warrior” d. Mega
Didn’t see most of this match, as I had to take a wiz and the last match was so brutally long and bad. DOI reporter, Adam Dolan said the match was well wrestled for big guys. The finish saw Hungarian Barbarian hit Mega with a chair when the ref was distracted. Wow, one clean finish so far.
#1 Contender for the CSWF Internet Title
Crazy Ivan d. Matt Striker w/Michelle, Romeo Valentino w/Rob Eckos and Mike Preston
PREMATCH: Valentino joined up with Eckos, Striker and Michelle’s kliq. It should also be noted that Rob Eckos is wearing a 3PW shirt. Speaking of 3PW, look for the new 3PW dvd review on this site this week.
Ok match, but very short. Ivan and Preston both wrap up Striker and Romeo about 8 minutes at the same time to eliminate both of them. We are down to Ivan vs Preston. Ivan gets the win very quickly with his flipping leg drop. Looked hot. Ivan is your new number one contender. Lots of crowd interaction in this one, which is what this crowd needed.
Americas Most Wanted (Storm and Harris) d. Kappa Tegga Kegga (Virgin Slaya/Hoochie Playa) w/Tara Charisma
This match never seemed to click. KTK looked out matched against AMW. Solution should’ve wrestled AMW as they have the most experience out of any tag team in the CSWF lockerroom and would’ve provided a better match. I mean this is TNA vs CSWF, as big of an alcoholic as I am, I wouldn’t put two frat boys against TNA’s best in an “invasion match.” AMW win shockingly cleanly.
POSTMATCH: Solution and John Shane run in and beat the crap out of KTK, from what happened before with Tara. Shane slaps Tara around but despite crowd requests, didn’t candy cane her. Shane dumps Tara out of the ring hard, as there was no bottom rope and Tara took it hard. Big props to Tara on that one. Solution kick the crap out of KTK some more. Solution/Shane mean business and want respect. Interestingly enough, KTK are the CSWF Tag Champions, but weren’t announced that way, I guess to set up a KTK/Solution tag team title match.
CSWF Title Match
Ron Killings d. Sinister X w/Destiny to become new champion
Very entertaining match, just for the fact that my asian friend was shouting at Destiny the whole match. Destiny looks like she is 74 years old, but wears clothes for a 21 year old. This garnered her a lot of Grandma chants and comments, and I will buy the tape just to see if they got on lol. Some good ones were, “Grandma where’s your teeth?” “Grandma, do you need female viagra for this match?” and my personal favorite, “Grandma, you need a breast-lift!” Big kudos to my asian friend, as he was fucking ON POINT with the jokes tonight.. except for the hair dye thing lol. Anyway, this match wasn’t too impressive, as Sinister X looked like he needed an oxygen tank about midway through the match. Killings did a great job of making Sinister X look good, and thankfully the right person won. Killings as champ is a great thing for this up and coming promotion and I look forward to see who his next opponent will be.
Final McWord:
Lots of ok matches but shit, what is up with hardly any clean finishes? I thought DRS/Solution and Slyk/Xavier were really great for what they were, and I thought Trinity/April and Eckos/Sheridan were good. The shit really stuck out, which was the Firehawk fiasco matches. CSWF has lots of potential, and with the TNA deal it can only get better. I still think CSWF needs to weed out some of the fucking shit, and they will be on the yellow brick road of indy wrestling. Still, for a promotions 5th show, they are fixing mistakes and taking their punches, but getting right back up. I’m looking forward to the next show, which was announced to be held at in Wayne, NJ on November 15th. Bottom line is this, if I have a good time, then it was worth going to and watching. CSWF provided a good time for me. Call me an “angry smart” for hating on the Firehawk/Smoke/Austin shit, but with all the great talent there, I was really pulling for CSWF to blow my mind with a killer show, but instead I am wasting my time writing on the bad. Still, with TNA superstars announced for the next show, and with Ron Killings as champion, and with solid storylines with KTK vs Solution, Tara vs Shane and more, I’m looking forward to the next show already.