Written by: Drama from The Place To Be
Friday Night Smackdown!
January 11, 2008
Michael Cole and Coach
-We start with a recap of last week’s show, with the Beat the Clock Challenge, Batista and Undertaker getting screwed, and Rey Mysterio winning the World Heavyweight Title shot at the Royal Rumble.
-We skip the opening animation and go right to Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long in the ring. Vickie introduces Rey Mysterio and the crowd goes ballistic. The #1 contender for Edge’s World Title comes down to the ring. Vickie congratulates Rey on winning the Beat the Clock. Rey says thanks, and coming from her its weird. Rey knows what side she’s on, but he says it’s cool. Rey says this is a good time to talk. Rey says they’ve been through a lot, but Rey says he still cares. Regardless what happened in the past, he needs to ask about Edge. Vickie says she doesn’t want to discuss her private life. Rey says making out with Edge in front on millions of people isn’t exactly private. Vickie says she has a right to move on with her life. Rey has no problem with that, but what about…and Vickie cuts him off. Eddie? Vickie asks if that’s what he’s getting at. Now I’m officially disgusted with this storyline. No need to bring Eddie’s memory into this. Haven’t we crossed this bridge enough times? Vickie says Eddie loved her so much that he would want her to move on. Vickie says she’s in her mid-30’s, and can have more children. Rey is flabbergasted, as Vickie continues on by saying Edge would make a wonderful father figure. I think I’m going to throw up. The crowd is about as happy with this as I am. Vickie asks if Rey has a problem with that. Rey is still dumbfounded at this point. Vickie says Edge loves him and makes him feel special. Rey says Edge doesn’t love you, he’s using you. On cue, YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!!! The World Champ comes to the ring. Edge is pacing back and forth, saying he’s heard enough. Rey knows nothing about his relationship with Vickie, nothing at all. Edge says Rey has no right to say anything. Besides, at the Royal Rumble he will remain World Heavyweight Champion, and in love. Rey says you can stay in love, but after the Rumble he’ll be World Champ. Then, he’s being beckoned…OOOOOO CHAVO!!!! Chavo Guerrero makes it to the ring, and we know his and Rey’s history. Chavo says to Rey, mind your own business. Rey says it is his business, and Chavo says no, because he’ll never be a Guerrero. Chavo then turns to Vickie, and says you’re not one anymore either. Chavo says the whole Guerrero family is disgusted with her, and Edge says they both need to back the hell off, and Vickie snaps too. She says they’re both paid to wrestle, not embarrass her and give her life lessons. Tonight they’ll wrestle, and it will be against each other. Vickie cackles and we fade to break. This whole storyline sucks, and I hope the rest of the show isn’t this awful.
-We have the cool subway promo for the Royal Rumble, January 27 from MSG.
-To the broadcast table, and Michael Cole announces that Batista and the Undertaker are in the Royal Rumble match.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble
Chuck and Michelle McCool ride out together, apparently making amends after what happened last week, since West Warwick’s loyal son has lost 4 weeks in a row. 3 of those losses were to his opponent tonight, our resident hick Jamie Noble. The bell rings, and Chuck goes for a clotheline but Noble ducks out. They lock up and Palumbo goes for another clothesline but misses. Noble with some punches but Palumbo with a knee to the gut, some punches and a body slam. Palumbo goes for an elbow drop but misses. Noble with some knees to the head and a low drop kick. Noble goes for another one but Palumbo hits a clothesline. Some stomps by the biker and now he’s clubbing away. Palumbo with a short arm clothesline for 2. Palmubo grabs Noble’s mouth and stretches his lips. Ow. Palumbo with a Samoan Drop for 2. Palumbo lifts Noble on his shoulder and drives him into the turnbuckles. Palumbo puts Noble on his shoulder again but Noble squirms out and goes for some kicks to Palumbo’s legs. Palumbo comes back with a boot to the chest. Noble’s in the corner and Palumbo with more kicks. Nobles goes to the top rope and Noble hits a clothesline for a 2 count. Palumbo throws Noble into the ropes and goes for another clothesline, but Noble hooks Palumbo’s arms and has a crucifix pin attempt for a 3 count. A huge upset, as I thought Palumbo would at least win this one. That’s 4 straight matches to Noble, and 5 straight weeks overall. Noble is pumped as he blows a kiss to Michelle, but Chuck is flipping out. Chuck is frustrated and looks at Michelle, who’s confused. Chuck gives a disgusted look and corners Michelle threateningly. He gets in her face as the crowd is chanting “You’re a loser”. Noble’s still at the end of the ramp and we have silence. This storyline beats the hell out of the one that opened the show that’s for sure. WINNER: Jamie Noble (Grade: 2)
-Backstage and Vickie Guerrero is looking smitten at a picture of her and Edge together. Edge cuddles up next to her, and kicks Teddy out of the room. Edge asks what’s wrong, and Vickie says she’s upset. She’s lucky to have Edge in her life. Edge says neither of them should care about what other people say. They’re the only ones that matter. Edge gives her a backrub, and I’m nauseous.
-Batista is walking with a purpose toward the ring, and his match is next!!!
-Back from break and Michael repeats the Chavo vs. Rey and Undertaker vs. Mark Henry & Matt Striker matches.
MVP vs. Batista
As MVP is going to the ring, Michael repeats the announcement from wwe.com that MVP will take on Ric Flair at the Royal Rumble, with Flair’s career again on the line. MVP takes the mike when he reaches the ring, and he states that before Batista comes out for his ass-whuppin’, MVP says he’s accomplished a number of things, and he will add another line to his resume: The man who retired Ric Flair. MVP says everyone pines that Flair is the greatest of all time, until he arrived. He continues running down Ric Flair until he’s cut off by Saliva…for its time to UNLEASH…THE ANIMAL. Batista, who’s clearly in a foul mood heads into the ring. The bell rings and this should be good. They lock up, and Batista tosses MVP to the canvas. MVP gets up and both men glare. MVP snaps a left hand off. Does nothing. Another punch by MVP, nothing. Batista misses a punch and MVP lays into another one, then a headlock. Batista rolls him over for a 1 count, but MVP rolls back. Both men on their feet and Batista pitches MVP into the ropes. Batista with a leapfrog (I’m not kidding) then whacks MVP with a shoulder block. Batista now with the headlock. Batista takes MVP down but MVP breaks free. Coach is trying to be very heel with Batista but Cole is debating him at every turn. Cole must think this is vacation working with Coach after being chewed up for over a year by JBL. Batista with shoulder blocks in the corner, but he backs up and it gives MVP a chance to lift the knee. MVP with another kick and he waits and waits until he can hit the kick to Batista’s head and the Animal falls out of the ring. MVP is in control as we go to break. Back from break and MVP drills Batista with a reverse DDT for 2. MVP’s impressing as usual. MVP with more kicks but Batista with a kick of his own. Some right hands by Batista but MVP with a drop toe hold and another kick to the head for 2. MVP locks some type of headlock maneuver that’s wearing on Batista. The Animal gets up and pushes MVP into the corner to catch his breath. MVP quickly out of the corner hits a knee lift for a 2 count. Another kick to the back by MVP, then back to this bizarre neck vice move. Batista slowly gets to his feet and lifts MVP for a body slam but MVP doesn’t let go and back to the neck vice for a 2 count. Batista’s back to his feet, then down to one knee, then back to his feet and Batista with a back suplex. Batista charges into the corner with a shoulder block but he’s still down. Batista with a clothesline, into another in the corner. Batista with an irish whip into a sidewalk slam for 2. Batista goes for a back drop but MVP with a club to the back. MVP off the ropes and Batista catches him with a spinebuster. Batista shakes the ropes and he goes for the Demon Bomb but MVP bails out. Very solid match so far. Batista tries to get outside but MVP with another kick to the head. MVP goes for a piledriver outside but Batista reverses into a back drop. Batista goes for a clothesline but MVP moves and the Animal hits the post. Both men are down and they’re both going into the ring to beat the count. Batista punches MVP off the apron and gets in the ring to avoid the 10 count and he wins by countout. Not satisfied with that he jaws with the ref. Meanwhile MVP gets a chair and Batista meets MVP with a spear outside. Batista rolls MVP back in the ring but the ref stops him and MVP bails out up the ramp. Batista’s pissed with the result but a win’s a win. Really good match as both men are on their game right now. WINNER: Batista (Grade: 2.5)
-A little comedy tonight, as Hornswoggle will face Runjin Singh in an arm wrestling match later on.
Handicap match: Mark Henry & Matt Striker vs. Undertaker
This stems from last week’s screwjob in the Beat the Clock Challenge. I have to admit, I like this role more than any other Henry has had in his WWF career, other than Sexual Chocolate of course. Taker’s entrance is still awesome. Cole says the entire Smackdown roster must follow one rule: Don’t anger the Deadman. Taker chases Striker out of the ring and goes after Henry. Taker with his token soupbone shots and an armbar. Taker tries to go Old School but Striker distracts him and Henry pulls him off the turnbuckle. Henry with an elbow drop. Striker gets back in the ring and help Henry but Taker sits up and Striker bails. Taker with some rights to Henry, and then he attempts a chokeslam but Striker gets back in the ring and eats Taker’s boot. More rights to Henry, then splashes to both of them. Striker eats turnbuckle, then gets old school on Henry and hits the clothesline. Henry is pitched outside, then Taker lifts Striker up and drills the Tombstone for the win. Suddenly the other side of beef comes down the aisle, Big Daddy V comes down, and Taker’s fighting both of them, even attempting a double chokeslam. Both men stop it but Taker hits a DDT on Henry. Now he’s after V and hits a clothesline and tosses him out of the ring. Henry’s back up and Taker hits the chokeslam. Taker’s looking to be the fourth man to win back to back Rumbles, and he’s ready. WINNER: Undertaker (Grade: 1.5)
-Backstage and Hornswoggle with Daddy McMahon, preparing for his arm wrestling match. Vince says he’s proud of Hornswoggle for getting into the Rumble, and says dreams can come true. Hornswoggle leaves and Vince tells Finlay who’s now on camera he’s proud of the little buggar. Finlay suddenly says Vince isn’t holding his end of the deal. Vince says don’t ever discuss the deal out in the open. Finlay says Hornswoggle will get killed in the Rumble. Vince says we’ll Finlay you’re in the Rumble too, so just look after him and not be a hotheaded Irishman. Vince stares with a quizzical look on his face. What deal are they talking about? We go to break.
-We’re outside the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre and Cole takes us to the Raw Rebound, which recaps the Jeff Hardy-Umaga cage match, and the unfathomable Whisper in the Wind off the top of the cage.
Arm Wrestling match: Runjin Singh vs. Hornswoggle
What deal was Vince and Finlay talking about? Hmmmm….probably a better story than our main event storyline on this show. Runjin comes down with his side of beef, the Great Khali at his side. Runjin grabs the mike and he says you all know about Khali’s vigorous workout regimen. Well he’s also worked out like that, and he’s ready to take out the leprechaun. Hornswoggle’s music rules, as he comes down with Finlay. We go back to Raw Roulette, when Horny and Mick Foley won their tag match over the Highlanders to get into the Rumble match. They try to set up but Hornswoggle’s too short to reach the table. They get a chair for him to stand on, and now Runjin takes his jacket off. Finlay’s shown holding some remote control, and when he pushes the button Runjin screams in pain and runs away. Now Hornswoggle’s putting a rubber glove on, and when they lock up Finlay hits the remote again and Runjin’s stuck on the table with, I guess electric shocks stabbing him and Hornswoggle beats Runjin over and over again. As he and Finlay dance the jig Khali with a boot to the face of Finlay. Khali corners the leprechaun and is about to power bomb him when Finlay recovers and smacks Khali twice with a chair. What is this deal we’re hearing about? WINNER: Hornswoggle (Grade: N/A)
-A promo for the Raw XV package: The DVD and the CD. There’s also a commemorative magazine too.
Kane vs. Domino
Nice filler match to kill some time. When are they going to utilize Cherry in something more than this? Domino pushes Kane and he responds with a right hand. Some more right hands in the corner. Irish whip into a Kane reverse elbow. Domino’s whipped in the corner and consecutive clotheslines. Kane with a sidewalk slam. Kane goes to the top and hits his patented clothesline. Deuce tries to interfere and Kane cleans him out on the apron. This gives Domino a chance to hit double knees to the face. Kane’s stunned and Domino goes to the top rope for a double ax handle but Kane catches him with a chokeslam for the win. Nice, effective squash to keep Kane in our sights and spell the crowd for the main event. Cole says Kane’s in the Rumble too. Cole effectively uses a fun fact, stating Kane still holds the record for eliminations in a Rumble when he pitched 11 guys out in 2001. WINNER: Kane (Grade: 1)
-We have a vignette for Eve, the Diva Search winner, who’s coming to Smackdown. We go to break.
-Back to the table with Cole and Coach, who go over our Royal Rumble card, January 27 at the Garden:
-Royal Rumble match
-WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy
-Career match: Ric Flair vs. MVP
-JBL vs. Chris Jericho
-World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
-Back to the table and Cole recaps the history between Rey and Chavo, and we go back to October 20, 2006 when Chavo made Rey say “I quit”, then to this past September when Rey made Chavo say “I quit”. We now go to the back as both men walk to ringside. Our main event is next.
-A Royal Rumble promo, highlighting Orton vs. Hardy. Who honestly doesn’t want Jeff Hardy to win? He deserves it.
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
This one should be good. Chavo’s been busy, wrestling CM Punk the last two weeks on ECW, and now here. This is a good way to utilize him, have him everywhere. Before we start: YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME? Edge comes out alone to check things out. Edge joins the broadcast table. Chavo with a takedown, then Rey with a hurricanrana into a flip splash for a 1 count. Edge is jawing Cole for being a schoolgirl and talking about relationships that don’t concern him. Chavo in control with a bodyslam for a 1 count. Chavo with a front facelock, but Rey pushes off and gets a boot to the. Both men get entangled in the ropes, but Rey breaks free and kicks Chavo in the head. Chavo falls to the floor, and Rey tries to set him up for another hurricanrana, but Chavo grabs the legs and slams Rey face-first into the steps. Chavo rolls back into the ring and we go to break. Back from break and Chavo has Rey in an armbar in the middle of the ring. Chavo with a reverse Russian Leg Sweep for 2. Chavo with an elbow drop, now some kicks to the ribs. Chavo with a back suplex for a 2 count. Chavo back to the armbar. Chavo flips back to add pressure to the elbow. Nice move. Rey back to his feet and he kicks Chavo in the ribs to try and break free. Rey hops to the top rope and nails another kick but he lands on his knee. Chavo whips Rey into the corner, but Rey recovers with a hurricanrana. Rey still groggy but Chavo charges and Rey ducks, and Chavo goes through the ropes to the outside. Rey goes to the top rope and drops the dime to Chavo on the floor. Rey now eyes Edge at ringside, then pitches Chavo back in the ring. Slingshot splash for 2. The crowd’s pretty dead for this. Rey charges but Chavo grabs Rey’s legs and flips him airborne for a 2 count. Chavo attempts the Three Amigos, which reminds me Eddie’s not here and this insipid storyline with his wife wouldn’t be happening. Rey reverses on the second one and drops Chavo on the second rope, which means he hits the 619. Rey heads to the top rope, but he’s limping. Rey hits the frog splash for the win. Immediately Edge storms the ring and attacks the #1 contender but Rey fights back with kicks and punches. Rey with a boot to the face but then the Edgeheads storm the ring and take Rey over. The 3-on-1 beatdown commences as Ryder and Hawkins hold Rey down and Edge kicks him in the head. With Rey on his back Edge holds the World Title belt to Rey’s face and says “You can’t do it”. Copyright up and we’re done. WINNER: Rey Mysterio (Grade: 2.5)
Drama’s Take: Good rumble build this week, but as I was dreading these past few weeks that the main event storyline would take a distasteful turn when they mentioned Eddie Guerrero in this Vickie-Edge tryst. There was really no need to do that. The undercard continues to dominate this show, from another win for Jamie Noble, to MVP and Batista putting on a solid match. No Jesse and Festus, and Chuck Palumbo eats another pin, but it does help the storyline with Michelle McCool. I’m also glad that Vince is staying with the Hornswoggle storyline on the other shows, and not shoehorning himself into anything else. A great undercard show tonight, but the main event storyline is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Final Grade: C+
MVP: Jamie Noble
Runner Up: Batista & Undertaker
Non MVP: The entire Vickie/Edge storyline
Runner Up: Domino