Written by: Bob Colling
World Wrestling Entertainment presents Smackdown
From: Minneapolis, MN
A video promoting the ceremony between Billy & Chuck is shown.
Opening Contest: Smackdown World Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly: Lesnar gets in Holly’s face and they begin to trade strikes. Lesnar tosses Holly with an overhead suplex and locks in a front face lock, but Holly reaches the ropes. Lesnar knee lifts Holly, but Holly tackles Lesnar to the floor and Lesnar continues with strikes to the back. Lesnar drives Holly back first into the ring post and hits an overhead suplex on the floor. Lesnar rolls Holly back into the ring for a two count. Lesnar leg sweeps Holly with a clothesline. Lesnar lifts Holly into the air with a vertical suplex and drives Holly down to the mat. Lesnar uppercuts Holly and Holly fires back with strikes. Lesnar shoulder rams Holly in the corner and locks in a bearhug. Holly elbows out of the bearhug, but Lesnar connects with a back suplex for a two count. Lesnar runs into a boot in the corner and Holly goes to the middle rope missing a missile dropkick. Lesnar delivers a backbreaker, but Holly wiggles free. Lesnar dangerously drops Holly on his head with a powerbomb (Holly legit broke his neck). Lesnar tries for another powerbomb, but Holly dropkicks Lesnar. Holly kicks Lesnar between the legs, but misses a clothesline. Holly counters a German and almost wins with a rollup. Lesnar finishes Holly with the F5 after countering an Irish whip. (**. There’s some hard hitting action here and it’s an enjoyable start to the show. There was never a doubt as to who would win here. Lesnar was reckless with the botched powerbomb that injured Holly. This was better than I was expecting.)
Backstage, the Undertaker is walking with his wife Sara.
Second Contest: Edge & John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero & Chavo Guerrero: Eddie and Chavo attack before the bell to get the cheap advantage. Cena is trapped on the floor, but Edge drops both Chavo and Eddie to the mat gut first. Cena slides in and clotheslines both Guerrero’s. Cena legally starts with Eddie and pulls Eddie into the ring by his hair from the floor. Cena tries for a suplex, but Eddie counters with knee lifts. Cena arm drags the Guerrero’s and Edge hits a double clothesline. Chavo pulls the ropes down causing Cena to crash to the floor. Cena is double teamed on the floor with stomps. Chavo uppercuts Cena and stomps Cena. Chavo connects with a short arm clothesline. Eddie works over Cena with right hands in the corner. Eddie misses a clothesline and Cena press slams Eddie to the mat. Cena attempts a press slam, but Chavo chop blocks Cena. Cena tags in Edge and Chavo legally tags in. Edge cleans house with strikes and a backdrop to Chavo. Eddie trips Edge and drives Edge groin first into the post. Chavo dropkicks Edge in the corner for a two count. Eddie beats on Edge with elbow strikes and a vertical suplex for a near fall. Eddie decks Cena on the apron and Edge is briefly double teamed. Eddie kicks Edge and hits a head scissors off the ropes for a near fall.
Chavo knee strikes Edge from the apron and Edge fires back with right hands. Chavo knee lifts Edge coming off the ropes. Edge hammers away on Chavo and hits a face buster. Eddie and Cena are tagged in with Cena cleaning house. Cena backdrops Eddie and nails Chavo with a flying forearm and a spinning suplex on Eddie. Edge leaps off the top to clothesline Eddie. Edge spears Chavo in the corner, but misses a spear in the corner on Eddie. Chavo plants Cena with a brainbuster and Eddie hits the frog splash for the clean win. (**1/2. A solid tag match and I love the clean finish for the Guerrero’s, which would be expected to take place on Cena. Eddie and Chavo as a team on SD could be a lot of fun.) After the match, Chavo wants Eddie to rub Edge’s face into his ass. Eddie is met with a low blow and Edge puts Eddie into Chavo’s ass. Chavo has his pants around his knees and trips trying to get Edge. Eddie shoves Chavo for being embarrassed.
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero is yelling at Chavo Guerrero for being embarrassed. Chavo is apologizing.
Backstage, Marc Lloyd knocks on Undertaker’s door. Lloyd says that people are surprised that Taker would bring his wife to the arena. Taker explains that Sara wanted to see family and friends in the area. Matt Hardy enters the scene and congratulates Taker for his wife being pregnant. Taker looks to leave, but Hardy grabs his am and explains he’s going to have a kid someday too. Hardy wanted to talk to Sara, but gets shoved away by Taker. Hardy is sent into another door.
Backstage, Rico is on the phone explaining he has two grooms today. Rico enters Stephanie’s office and asks Stephanie to reconsider to attend the ceremony. Stephanie has really bad luck and doesn’t want to be a jinx. She hopes Rico understands. Rico says it’s not okay and says that everything is messing up. Rico needs a witness and begs Stephanie to be there. Stephanie gives in and says she’ll be there for them.
Kurt Angle comes down to the ring with a microphone to cut a promo. Angle makes a joke aboiut Mysterio being short and the fact that they are in “Minny”. Angle says what he’s about to do to Rey isn’t going to be funny. Angle warns Chris Benoit that if he ever sees him laugh again there will be a union between Benoit’s face and Angle’s fist. Angle tells Mysterio that he’s a boy in a man’s world and he’s a man who loves to play with boys. Angle realizes what he says and backtracks that. Angle says that he’s a man and he’s gonna love to manhandle Rey, but that doesn’t come across well. Angle is getting frustrated that all his taunts are sounding sexual.
Third Contest: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kurt Angle: Angle slaps Mysterio to look at him. Angle slams Mysterio to start the match and doesn’t followup on the advantage. Angle takes Mysterio down and slaps the back of Mysterio’s head. Mysterio drop toe holds angle and tosses Angle with a fireman’s carry. Angle shoves Mysterio down and is met with slap. Rey runs away and sends Angle through the ropes to the floor. Mysterio head scissors Angle into the corner. Angle misses a spear hitting the post shoulder first. Mysterio hits a split legged moonsault for a near fall. Angle tries for the Angle Slam, but Mysterio arm drags Angle. Mysterio sends Angle into the corner and almost wins with a rollup. Angle tosses Mysterio with a German suplex and Mysterio landed on his stomach. Angle drives Mysterio down with a backbreaker. Angle drives Mysterio down with a backbreaker. Mysterio avoids a suplex and hits Angle with a spinning heel kick. Angle tosses Mysterio overhead with a suplex for a near fall. Angle controls Mysterio on the mat with a body scissors. Mysterio almost wins with a rollup. Angle tosses Mysterio with a German suplex and holds on to deliver several in a row. Rey counters with a bulldog.
Rey boots Angle in the corner and kicks Angle. Mysterio hits a moonsault off the top for a near fall. Mysterio hits a running crossbody to send Angle over the top to the floor. Mysterio takes Angle out with a corkscrew dive on the floor. Mysterio connects with a springboard leg drop for a near fall. Angle switches to the ankle lock, but Mysterio kicks free. Mysterio hits the 619! Rey hits a head scissors for a near fall. Mysterio heads to the top rope but Angle hits the Angle Slam off the top rope. Angle goes for the cover and wins the match. (****. Screw it, I thought that was terrific. Constant action and they worked a hell of a match. These two could wrestle every week and I’d be more than okay with it. I hope sometime soon these two are wrestling for the title and having these kinds of matches.)
Backstage, a limo arrives and security passes them as they are part of the wedding party.
Fourth Contest: Chris Benoit vs. Rikishi: Benoit tries to attack before the bell, but Rikishi decks Benoit with several right hands. Rikishi decks Benoit with a forearm strike. Benoit avoids a belly to belly suplex with a headbutt. Rikishi plants Benoit with a sit out chokeslam. Benoit low blows Rikishi while the referee is out of position. Benoit chops Rikishi to the mat and gets a two count. Benoit locks in the crossface, but Rikishi doesn’t give in. Rikishi lifts Benoit into the air to drop Benoit face first to the mat. Rikishi drags Benoit to the corner, but Benoit has Rikishi on his shoulders to hit an electric chair slam. Benoit heads to the top rope, but Angle shoves Benoit off and the referee throws the match out. Rikishi superkicks Angle to avoid an Angle Slam,. Rikishi back splashes Benoit in the corner and Rikishi tries for the Stink Face. Angle holds Benoit’s arm back allowing Rikishi to perform the Stink Face. (*. So, we have to angles centering around people having their faces rubbed in asses. The action was decent, but this was just advancing the issues between Angle and Benoit.)
Backstage, Chris Benoit is with Stephanie McMahon and Benoit demands a match at the PPV. Matt Hardy enters the scene and wants to speak with Stephanie. However, Stephanie tells him to wait and she makes the match between Benoit and Angle at Unforgiven. Hardy demands a match with the Undertaker tonight. Stephanie reminds Taker is busy at the PPV. Hardy wants Taker tonight on Smackdown. Stephanie books the match for Hardy tonight against the Undertaker. Hardy guarantees victory tonight.
It’s time for the commitment ceremony between Billy & Chuck. Rico makes his way out and he’s complaining about the presentation. After a commercial, Stephanie McMahon has made her way to the ring for the ceremony. Rico says this is a groundbreaking moment. Billy and Chuck make their way out. The host asks them to proceed with their written vows. Chuck starts off and says all he knew about Billy was that he was a great tag wrestler and his name was Mr. Ass. Chuck says that Billy has captured his heart, which is better than tag gold. Billy tells Chuck that was corny. Billy is happy to ask Chuck to be his tag team partner forever. Rico presents a video that highlights their union. The video is called “Our Love Story”. The crowd is booing this segment big time. Rico has been waiting for this moment for a long time. The question of anyone objecting is asked and the entire crowd erupts.
The Godfather’s music hits. Godfather comes out with a bunch of hoes and Rico is shocked. Godfather says he’s back in business and needed to be at the party. Godfather is here to stop the ceremony because the truth must be heard. Godfather asks Billy what happened and knows that Billy still has the pimp in him. Godfather says that Chuck was a legendary skirt chaser. Godfather says that Chuck loved the bigger girls. Godfather asks what the hell is going on here. Rico says he will not take this interruption. Rico doesn’t think the fans want to see Godfather and his good time girls. Rico threatens security to escort them out. Godfather tells Rico he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on and they proceed to leave.
Rico assures Billy and Chuck that everything is under control. Rico wants to go right to the end. Billy looks to be nervous as Rico is pressuring Billy. Billy says yes. Chuck doesn’t look to be confident and Rico tells Chuck to not get cold feet. Chuck says yes, as well. Chuck cuts off the ceremony and tells Rico this wasn’t supposed to go this far. Billy says this was supposed to be a stunt. Billy reveals they aren’t gay and there’s nothing wrong with gay people. Billy says if he was gay that he probably would marry Chuck. Rico knew that they’d back out of this. Rico is pissed that they blew this. The host chimes in and tries to calm them down. He says that a commitment is a special thing and their bond is sacred. It doesn’t matter how long it lasts, fifty years, sixteen months or three minutes. Wait a minute, did I hear myself say three minutes?! It’s ERIC BISCHOFF in a disguise! Stephanie is stunned! Rico low blows Billy and Bischoff has Stephanie. Jamal and Rosey attack Chuck and Billy. Jamal hits a Samoan Drop on Chuck and Rosey splashes Billy in the corner. Jamal plants Stephanie with a Samoan Drop! Stephanie is out cold and Jamal heads to the top rope, but the locker room empties to run the heels through the crowd. Kurt Angle is checking on Stephanie. That was a fantastic segment.
Fifth Contest: Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia: Wilson baseball slides Nidia before the start of the match. Nidia gets a two count following a clothesline. Wilson kicks Nidia followed by a scoop slam for a near fall. Nidia stops Wilson with a jawbreaker. Nidia decks Wilson over the back. Nidia kicks Wilson in the ribs. Nidia slaps Wilson and rams Wilson into the corner face first. Nidia boots a charging Wilson in the corner. Wilson delivers a swinging neckbreaker to win the match. (NR. It’s wicked short and I’m not even sure the point of it.)
Backstage, Undertaker leaves Sara in the locker room all by herself. Matt Hardy gets Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman as they make their way towards the ring.
Main Event: The Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy: Heyman slides a chair into the ring, but the referee gets rid of it. Taker works over Hardy in the corner with strikes early on. Taker powerslams Hardy and signals for the Last Ride, but Heyman gets on the apron to cause a distraction. The referee ejects Heyman. Hardy low blows Taker and hammers away on Taker. Taker stops Hardy with a big boot and is distracted by Lesnar. Hardy decks Taker from behind to the floor. Lesnar nails Taker with a clothesline outside the ring. The referee ejects Lesnar from ringside, too. Hardy keeps control hammering away on Taker on the mat. Hardy clotheslines Taker in the corner. Hardy tries for the Twist of Fate, but Taker counters with a clothesline. They begin to trade strikes with Taker getting the advantage. Taker clotheslines Hardy in the corner. Taker drops Hardy over the top rope. Paul Heyman is gone to the locker room that Sara is in. Heyman tells Sara he never realized how attractive she is. Taker is running to the locker room. Taker storms into the room and grabs Heyman. Lesnar enters and whacks Taker over the head with a steel chair. Lesnar backs Sara against the wall and puts his hand on her stomach. Lesnar says “life is a bitch” and backs away as Sara is frozen in fear. Sara checks on Taker as the show ends.
I thought this was a strong episode of Smackdown. Rey/Angle was fantastic and the commitment ceremony was a well done segment. They progressed quite a bit here and the closing segment between Brock/Taker/Heyman/Sara really makes the viewer want to see Lesnar get his ass kicked by Taker. So, that was effective. A really good episode of Smackdown this week.
Thanks for reading.