Total Non-Stop Action presents Impact
Date: 1/3/2008
From: Orlando, FL
Matches:
1.) Motor City Machine Guns won a 5-team gauntlet match to become number one contenders
2.) ODB won a 8-knockout gauntlet match to become number one contender
3.) Petey Williams won a 6-man gauntlet match to become number one contender
4.) Christian Cage won a 15-man gauntlet match to become number one contender
Angle Developments/Notes:
1.) Jeremy Borash is outside the townhouse of AJ Styles grandmother in Gainesville, GA. Borash received word that AJ Styles wouldn’t attend Impact tonight and that AJ has been at the house for two days. AJ’s sister opens the door to greet Borash. Borash enters the house and and AJ says he’s not there, but obviously he’s there. AJ tells Borash he doesn’t know what kind of pressure he’s under. Borash wants to know which side AJ is picking. AJ’s own kid knocks on the door and AJ says the kid should be with his mother. One of AJ’s family members wants to give a shoutout to the TV cameras.
2.) Jim Cornette and Matt Morgan are in the ring to welcome everyone to the first Impact episode in 2008. Cornette promotes four gauntlet matches to determined rankings for all four divisions in the company. Cornette also mentions Final Resolution and a match has been added to the event. Robert Roode & Ms. Brooks will wrestle Booker T & Sharmell in a mixed tag match. Samoa Joe’s music hits and Joe cuts off Cornette. Joe asks Cornette how they have a pay per view and he’s not part of it. Joe notes that he’s destroyed everyone put in his way, but he still doesn’t get a title shot. Cornette tries to respond, but Joe cuts Cornette off again. Joe asks how Cornette has given Nash and Hall a tag title match, but Joe can’t get a title match.
Kevin Nash makes his way out to confront Joe. Nash says he was in the ring when Joe ran down Hall and himself at Turning Point. Nash says that Hall has more problems in an hour than Joe would have in a lifetime and has no right to say one word about Scott Hall. Nash says Joe reminds a lot of himself and Hall when they were younger. Nash says there’s a place in the wrestling business that Joe hasn’t reached yet. Nash tells Joe he has to recognize that he’s not there yet. Joe notes that leaders have to step aside or be put aside. Nash tells Joe he’s not going to walk aside and suggests Joe push him aside. Cornette gets in between and says he’s going to give them both what they want. Cornette reveals that Nash doesn’t have a partner for Final Resolution since Hall is dealing with stuff. Thus, in order for both men to be on the Final Resolution card then Samoa Joe will have to team with Kevin Nash to wrestle TNA World Tag Team Champions AJ Styles and Tomko. Joe and Nash don’t look too happy about that development.
3.) Backstage, Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks are interviewed. Roode calls Sharmell a skank and if she wants to get in the ring they need to make it official. Roode has no problem slapping the taste out of any woman’s match. Brooks says that she despises Roode and everything about it. Roode loves that Brooks hates him and she’ll do whatever he wants because he’s her boss. Brooks doesn’t have a problem with Booker or Sharmell and doesn’t want to do it. Roode tells her that his problems are her problems, too. Roode threatens to send Brooks back to the strip joint if she doesn’t say his catchphrase. Brooks says the catchphrase, but clearly didn’t want to.
4.) Backstage, Team 3D and Johnny Devine are with Crystal, but she storms off after dealing with Brother Ray’s nonsense. Ray says she can’t take a joke. Ray is pissed about being ranked behind LAX and the Machine Guns for the gauntlet. Ray thinks Cornette or the fans are behind this. Ray says they’ve been training for Ultimate X and Devine chimes in saying they’re doing the training like King Kong. Devon grabs Devine, but Ray cools things down. Devon says tonight they start it and at the PPV they will end it. Kip James enters the scene with BG James asking where Crystal is at. Devon says that they ate her, and Kip tells Devon to lay off the carbs. Brother Ray insults Kip’s gear. Kip notices that BG laughed and asks when BG is going to reveal that he’s BG’s tag partner. BG tells Kip that he’s been looking at someone, and that pisses off Kip even more. Kip tells BG to suck it without saying it. BG wonders why Kip always has to be like this.
5.) The tag gauntlet match will have two guys start and then every minute someone else comes out. Eliminations are over the top. Final two men will lead to a tag match.
6.) Lance Hoyt and Kip James kickoff the gauntlet match. Hoyt shoulder blocks Kip, but runs into a dropkick. Kip tries to send Hoyt to the floor, but Hoyt blocks it. Kip elbows Hoyt in the corner and runs into a big boot. Hoyt tries to send Kip to the floor, but Kip counters with a swinging neckbreaker.
Brother Devon makes his way out as the next entrant. Devon cleans house hitting a leaping clothesline on Hoyt and a spinning elbow strike to Kip. Hoyt decks Kip with a clothesline. Kip is double teamed on the mat.
Alex Shelley is the next entrant and runs into the ring dropping Hoyt over the top rope. Shelley hits a top rope elbow strike to knock Hoyt off his feet. Devon clubs away on Shelley to gain control of the match. Shelley nails Devon with a kick to the head. Devon hits a lifting reverse DDT to drive Shelley to the mat. Kip chokes Devon in the corner.
Homicide is the next entrant and hammers away on Kip and Devon followed by a dropkick to Hoyt. Homicide dumps Kip over the top to the floor for the first elimination. Homicide shoulder rams Devon in the corner, but Devon gets control by choking Homicide.
Jimmy Rave is the next entrant and pummels Homicide. Homicide fights off Hoyt and Rave. The next entrant is BG James. BG cleans house with a flurry of strikes and jabs Devon several times. BG dumps Devon over the top to the floor for the second elimination.
Brother Ray is the next entrant. Ray cleans house on everyone and pummels Hoyt on the mat. Ray chops Shelley in the corner.
Chris Sabin is the next entrant for the match. Sabin shoulder rams Ray and hits a springboard clothesline. Sabin dropkicks Rave and punches BG into a corner. Sabin dropkicks BG over the top to the floor for another elimination.
The final entrant is Hernandez. Hernandez fights Rave and Hoyt off and hits a slingshot clothesline into the ring. Hernandez tosses Rave across the ring and slams Rave. Hernandez drops Rave to the mat gut first out of a modified Torture Rack. Hernandez decks Ray with a clothesline and hits a backdrop. Hoyt nails Hernandez from behind. Ray kicks Shelley and clotheslines Shelley over the top to the floor. Hoyt nails Sabin with a clothesline. Ray slams Rave to the mat. Homicide punches Ray several times, and Sabin tosses Ray over the top to the floor as the show goes to commercial.
Back from breaks and the match has turned into a tag match between Rock ’n’ Rave Connection vs. Motor City Machine Guns. Shelley hits a top rope crossbody on Hoyt. Shelley plants Rave with a tornado DDT. During the break, Hoyt hit a big boot on Hernandez and Rave sent Homicide out. Guns double team Rave and Shelley hits a Slice Bread to pickup the win. After the match, Johnny Devine slides into the ring and Team 3D come down with kendo sticks. Team 3D manage to hit the 3D on Shelley. The same happens to Sabin as Devine slides a table into the ring. Brother Ray smashes the Guns hands over the table with the kendo stick. Ray is trying to break their hands so they can’t climb the ropes. The locker room empties to make the late save. Ray notes their hands are broken and they’ll never be able to climb. (*1/2. The gauntlet is what it is as it didn’t provide a whole lot of quality action, but it wasn’t mind numbingly boring. The angle afterward was actually pretty good to put more odds on the faces.)
7.) Backstage, Crystal is with TNA World Champion Kurt Angle and Karen Angle. Kurt doesn’t like the idea that AJ’s decision could go either way. Kurt knows they aren’t going to pass on the opportunity to be on his side. Kurt says he’s going to call Tomko out and make their alliance official. Kurt tells Christian that in a drawer full of knives he may not be the sharpest and walks off. Karen tells Crystal she didn’t marry Kurt for his brains.
8.) Jeremy Borash is still at AJ Styles grandmother house. Borash is with AJ’s third grade teacher and she says that this isn’t surprising since AJ was always shy because of his bad skin due to eating chocolate. AJ screams from behind the door that it ran through his family. She yells for AJ to leave the room, but he refuses.
9.) Angelina Love and Ms. Brooks kickoff the Knockouts gauntlet match. Brooks starts off by chopping Love and sends Love into the corner. Brooks charges and is kicked away. Love nails Brooks with a chop and a forearm smash. Love tries to toss Brooks over the top, but Brooks hangs on.
Jackie Moore is the next entrant and goes after Love with stomps. Moore hits a double under hook suplex on Love. Love hangs onto the ropes to avoid being sent over. Brooks and Moore shove each other before decking Love.
Velvet Sky is the next entrant and yanks Brooks down by her hair. Sky dropkicks Moore. Brooks is double teamed by Love and Sky. Moore is taken down with a double drop toe hold and an elbow drop.
Christy Hemme is the next entrant. Hemme climbs to the top and hits a crossbody onto Love and Sky. Hemme stands on Sky’s hair and pulls upward. Hemme plants Sky with a reverse DDT, but misses a middle rope leg drop.
ODB is the next entrant. ODB slams Brooks and knee lifts Moore followed by a fallaway slam. ODB avoids Brooks and tosses Brooks to the floor.
Roxxi is next to enter the match. Roxxi kicks ODB away and beats on Moore for a moment. Roxxi forearms ODB followed by a Samoan Drop. Roxxi tries to eliminate Moore, but fails to do so.
The final entrant is Awesome Kong. Kong splashes Roxxi in the corner and dumps both Hemme and Sky over the top to the floor. Kong slams Love to the mat. Love tries for a crossbody, but is caught and Kong dumps Love to the floor as we go to commercial. All three women attack Kong, but Kong shoves them all away. A triple dropkick, but Kong only staggers. Kong staggers a second time. Kong almost goes over on a third triple dropkick. Kong is lifted ip by three women and they dump Kong over the top to the floor! Moore, ODB and Roxxi are left. Roxxi dumps Moore to the floor.
ODB hammers away on Roxxi and delivers a clothesline leading to a near fall. ODB rams Roxxi face first into the corner several times, but Roxxi slams ODB off the top rope. Roxxi hits a sit out spinebuster for a two count. Roxxi rams ODB into the corner a few times. ODB hits a Thez Press off the middle rope and wins the match. (*1/2. ODB winning is the best decision and I’m assuming Kong will be champion at the PPV. ODB would be a suitable first opponent. She’s over with the Orlando crowd.)
10.) Crystal is with TNA World Tag Team Champion Tomko for an interview. Crystal tells Tomko Kurt Angle said he’s going to demand Tomko’s answer. Tomko says that nobody will demand anything out of him. Tomko dealt with the same crap from Christian Cage and now AJ’s made Angle do the same thing. Tomko demands respect and he’s bailed Angle out of stuff for weeks. Tomko says all of this stops tonight.
11.) Tomko is standing in the ring to cut a promo. Tomko calls out TNA World Champion Kurt Angle to get his answer. Kurt Angle makes his way down to the ring with Karen right behind him. Kurt says he’s tired of AJ and Tomko playing games. Kurt mentions his biggest match is coming up in three days. Kurt demands Tomko look him in the eyes and give him an answer. Tomko talks about the army and how it means respect and loyalty to him. Tomko says that Angle is asking if he’d take a bullet for Angle or Christian, essentially. Tomko tells Angle that he’d take a bullet for himself and wouldn’t care if they both went down in a line of fire. Tomko reveals he’s not with the Angle Alliance or Christian Coalition. Tomko is on his own! Kurt respects Tomko’s decision and they shake hands. Kurt tries to sneak attack Tomko, but Tomko grabs Kurt by his throat. Tomko tells Kurt he’ll let that slide. However, the next time Tomko will break Kurt’s neck forever. (Tomko is not a strong promo on his own.)
12.) Back to Jeremy Borash in Gainesville, GA. Borash is with Coach Butterman, who coached AJ Styles in high school. Butterman recalls a story of AJ wrestling a girl and how AJ peed his pants being scared of the girl. AJ opens the door denying the claims and saying it was Mountain Dew.
13.) Jeremy Borash is still at the house and MJ promises to reveal a secret about AJ, but he doesn’t care. MJ is going to tell a story about AJ being frisky, but AJ cuts her off. MJ demands to know who AJ is signing with, but he slams the door.
14.) Backstage, Crystal is with Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt. Crystal notes that Dutt stole a kiss from So Cal Val at the Christmas party. Lethal notes that he saw Dutt getting frisky, but Dutt says Lethal doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Lethal is comparing this to Hogan in the 80s and calls Dutt Bollea. Dutt says it was a simple kiss on the cheek and kisses Crystal on the cheek. Christian Cage enters the scene and decides to shed a light on what’s going on. Cage is proud of Tomko for wanting to be on his own. Cage needs to know where AJ stands because he wants to know who will share the glory when he wins the TNA World Championship for a third time. Christian Cage suggests Kurt stroll down to the ring to match wits.
15.) Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams start off the X-Division gauntlet match. Dutt arm drag Williams to start the match followed by a neckbreaker. Williams is sent to the apron where Dutt delivers a knee strike and leg drops Williams over the middle rope from the top rope. Williams elbows Dutt and delivers a kick to the midsection. Williams nails Dutt with a spinning heel kick.
Shark Boy is the next entrant and he’s still wrapped up with injuries. Boy hits a Tower of Doom out of the corner to take Williams Dutt to the mat out of the corner. Boy tries to eliminate both men, but fails. Boy hits a facebuster on Dutt and a neckbreaker on Williams.
Elix Skipper is the next entrant for the match. Skipper hits a top rope spinning heel kick on Boy and a headlock suplex on Dutt. Dutt and Boy dropkick Skipper and Williams. Skipper misses a knee strike in the corner and crashes to the floor for an elimination.
Johnny Devine is the next etnrant, but is stomped on. Devine fights free and pummels Williams with a series of stomps. Devine backdrops Shark Boy over the top to the floor. Dutt head scissors Devine and Williams dropkicks Devine over the ropes. Devine begs off.
Senshi is the next entrant and Devine tries to work with Senshi. Senshi doesn’t buy into it and kicks Devine across the chest. Senshi dropkicks Devine and Devine is sent to the floor by Dutt and Williams. Dutt hits a nice hurricanrana on Senshi. Dutt kicks Williams in the corner and hits a springboard splash onto Williams. Senshi dumps Dutt to the floor.
Senshi and Williams are the final two where Senshi shoulder rams Williams in the corner and gets a two count after a snapmare. Senshi keeps control with a waist lock on the mat, but Williams fights free with elbow strikes. Williams drop toe holds Senshi over the ropes. Senshi nails Williams with a kick to the face. Williams hits a slingshot facebuster. Senshi drives Williams into the corner and drives Petey to the mat chest first. Senshi climbs to the top missing a double stomp. Williams plants Senshi with the Canadian Destroyer to win the match. (**. A fast pace match and a clean finish to give Petey Williams a title shot is fine by me.)
16.) Backstage, James Storm and Jackie Moore are interviewed. Storm talks about being the best beer drinker in the world with Moore thinking she’s number two. Crystal mentions that Eric Young won the beer championship. Storm claims that Young cheated. They are going to have a competition where the person who finishes two 40s they win the competition. The beer will be taped to their hands. Storm says they haven’t invented the other two games yet.
17.) Back to Gainesville where Borash notes that AJ Styles refuses to make a decision. Borash talks to a priest and asks about AJ being an alter boy. The priest says that he picked Christian, obviously. AJ comes out of the room and says they are Baptist. The priest says “that’s not AJ Snipes” and AJ goes back into the room. The priest asks if Borash needs to confess and Borash has a scared look on his face to end the segment.
18.) Backstage, Crystal interviews Booker T and Sharmell. Booker says he came to TNA to make an impact in the ring. Booker is pissed because Sharmell doesn’t have a contract to wrestle, but rather to support. Booker treats his woman like a queen. Booker is going to confront Cornette, but Sharmell stops Booker. Sharmell isn’t scared and says it’s on like neckbone. Sharmell can’t wait to slap the taste out of Roode’s mouth. They walk off.
19.) Booker T and James Storm start off the final gauntlet of the night. Booker controls Storm with a hammerlock, but Storm punches free several times in the corner. Booker nails Storm with a leaping kick to the face. Booker works over Storm in the corner with a chop and a back elbow. Booker chops Storm in the corner.
Robert Roode is the next entrant and double teams Booker in the corner. Roode pummels Booker with strikes and stomps in the corner. Storm and Roode slap hands to work together. Booker chops Roode several times, but Booker kicks Roode. Roode nails Booker with a forearm strike.
Eric Young is the next entrant. Young shoulder rams Storm as the show goes to commercial with Young cleaning house. Back from break, Black Reign, Kaz, Chris Harris, and Rellik have joined the match. Kaz eliminates Storm right when we get back to the match.
Scott Steiner make his way down to the ring as the next entrant. Steiner tosses Roode with an overhead suplex and same to Rellik. Steiner decks Kaz and works with Booker to stomp Harris in the corner. Rellik bites Steiner’s forehead on the mat. Steiner clotheslines Roode to the floor.
Judas Mesias is the next entrant. Chris Harris is eliminated Steiner, as well. Mesias decks Booker with a strike in the corner. Kaz forearms Reign after avoiding an elimination. Kaz clotheslines Reign, but Mesias tosses Kaz to the floor to avoid a head scissors.
Kevin Nash is the next entrant and cleans house with several strikes. Nash and Rellik trade strikes in the corner.
Abyss is the next entrant as Scott Steiner and Eric Young have been eliminated. The lights went out and Abyss hammers away on Mesias. Abyss press slams Mesias and eliminates Mesias and himself on a clothesline over the top to the floor.
Samoa Joe is the next entrant. Joe cleans house with strikes on Reign and Rellik. Joe nails Rellik with a running boot and a back splash. Joe jabs Booker several times, but runs into a back elbow shot. Booker forearms Rellik a few times and hits a leaping heel kick.
Christian Cage is the final entrant. Black Reign eliminates Booker T from behind. Kurt Angle waits on the aisle to attack Cage. Cage doesn’t come out of the tunnel. Kurt asks where Christian is at, but Cage attacks Kurt from behind and they brawl on the floor. Nash backdrops Reign over the top to the floor. Kurt hits an Olympic Slam on Cage into the ring post. Nash wants to shake hands and Joe accepts. Nash steps over the top rope and eliminates himself. Cage rolls into the ring and steals a rollup on Joe to win the match! (*1/2. I was not expecting Cage to win with a flash pin on Joe after the Olympic Slam into the ring post. Joe doesn’t lose a lot at this point, so this was a bit surprising and done so quickly that it wasn’t allowed to be digested by the viewer.)
20.) Back to Gainesville, AJ reveals that he’s aligning with Christian Cage. AJ changes his mind and says Kurt Angle. AJ switches and says Cangle, and he’s confused. AJ promises an answer at Final Resolution and kicks everyone out of his grandmothers house to end the show.
Final Thoughts:
I was not excited to review this show largely because all the matches were gauntlet matches and that kind of match doesn’t interest me at all. So, I’m glad it’s over in that regard. The AJ segments at home were a little funny, but also done too much throughout the show. Plus, there’s no answer and we have to go to the PPV to find out. That’s never been TNA’s business model. I have to give this episode a thumbs down because of all the gauntlet matches.
Thanks for reading.