Total Non-Stop Action presents Impact
Date: 5/29/2008
From: Orlando, FL
Matches:
1.) Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt defeated Jimmy Rave & Lance Hoyt
2.) Angelina Love defeated Roxxi
3.) TNA Knockouts Champion Awesome Kong defeated Leva Bates
4.) Rhino defeated James Storm in a King of the Mountain qualifying match
5.) Christian Cage defeated Tomko in a King of the Mountain qualifying match
Angle Developments/Notes:
1.) Team 3D makes their way down to the ring to kickoff the program. Booker T makes his way to the ring with his own entrance, as well. Brother Ray starts off by saying that guys like them are referred to as the bad guys. They do bad things to good people and they like it. Ray notes that Tomko is in the back getting ready for his match tonight to qualify in the King of the Mountain match. Kurt Angle is in Hollywood filming his next project. They will be representing the bad guys while Tomko and Angle are out keeping busy. Ray wonders if they are the bad guys, or is it someone else. A poster is lowered from the rafters and it is AJ Styles picture. Ray plugs the picture as a card in the TNA Trading Card Series. Ray believes the card will soon be a collectors item because nobody can find AJ Styles right now. Ray asks if they are really the bad guys or is it Styles. Ray calls Styles a scumbag. Ray considers Styles to be a wife stealer and a home wrecker. Ray proclaims that Styles is an adulterer. Ray stands on the picture and says that Styles slept with Kurt Angle’s wife while Angle’s kids were sleeping. Ray considers Styles to be as low as it gets. Booker T grabs the microphone and says there is a failure in communication and tells the fans he’s royalty. Booker promised to bring his presence and grace to TNA. Booker was promised stuff, but nothing was provided to him. Booker talks about being presented with a locker room full of rodents. Booker asks if that’s any way to treat royalty. Booker promises to prove he’s the best at King of the Mountain. Booker will make everyone bow down to him and kiss his feet. Booker especially wants Samoa Joe to kiss his feet. Brother Devon chimes in about Hector Guerrero and LAX, but LAX makes their way out to join the segment.
Hector Guerrero thinks they’ve talked enough and says they keep coming back from the beatings. Guerrero reveals that Cornette gave them an opportunity at Slammiversary. Guerrero decides they shouldn’t wait and they should get it on tonight. Christian Cage and Rhino make their way out to the top of the entrance ramp. Cage apologizes for cutting off Hector, but Cage wants to respond to Booker T. Cage asks what Booker has been smoking. Cage says Booker expects people to bow and kiss his feet for things he’s accomplished in the past. Cage could care less about Booker being a five time champion. Cage tells Booker that he’s nothing until he’s the TNA World Champion. Cage declares that Rhino and Cage will qualify for the King of the Mountain match at Slammivesary.
TNA World Champion Samoa Joe makes his way out to join the segment. Samoa Joe joins the fans in the crowd to share his thoughts. Joe talks about walking into the PPV as the champion. Joe believes the fans want a champion who kicks ass to keep the title. Joe doesn’t make excuses when he defends the title. Joe tells Booker he’s talking to him as Booker mocks Joe by playing a violin over his arm. Joe threatens to break Booker’s fingers if they’re in his face. Joe says he’s making it real easy for Booker to find him and thinks Booker is a “punk ass bitch”. Joe suggests teaming up with Cage, Rhino and LAX to take out Booker T and Team 3D. They storm the ring and the heels quickly bail to the floor to avoid a beatdown. AJ Styles appears and hits Team 3D with a chair from behind. Booker avoided the shot as the segment ends.
2.) Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks with Karen Angle. Karen is happy that AJ is doing fine as she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if Styles had gotten hurt. Karen tells Borash that she needs to find out what AJ has to say to her tonight.
3.) Backstage, Lauren is with Ace Young, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and So Cal Cal. Young was a finalist on American Idol and is going to be the entertainment for the wedding between Lethal and Val. Young is excited to be part of the wedding. Young thinks it’s going to be a fun party. Val claims she’s starstruck by Ace Young. Dutt says peace and love goes out the window with Rave and Hoyt. Dutt asks if Lethal has his head in the game. Lethal admits he’s a bit nervous since he’s been a bachelor his whole life. Dutt tells Lethal that it’s not too late and Val asks why anyone would be nervous. TNA Knockouts Champion Awesome Kong and Saeed grab Lauren to tell everyone that Kong will beat up another fan tonight.
4.) Hermie Sadler joins commentary for the next match.
5.) Dutt and Rave kickoff the tag match. Rave knee lifts Dutt, but Dutt comes back with a tilt a whirl head scissors to send Rave into the corner. Lethal tags into the match, but Hoyt cuts Lethal off. Hoyt grabs Lethal for a press slam, but Lethal jabs free. Hoyt tosses Lethal into the corner and Rave delivers a boot to the midsection. Lethal dropkicks a seated Rave and tags in Dutt. Lethal kicks Rave, but there’s a miscommunication between Dutt and Lethal. Hoyt kicks Dutt into Lethal and tosses Dutt overhead with a suplex. Rave returns to the match and they elbow Dutt to the mat followed by a double elbow drop for a two count. Hoyt returns to the match and strikes Dutt in the ribs. Hoyt chokes Dutt in the corner. Hoyt scoop slams Dutt for a two count. Hoyt keeps a neck vice on Dutt, but doesn’t get a submission. Dutt fires back with right hands, and takes Hoyt over with a hurricanana. Lethal clotheslines Rave several times. Lethal nails Rave with a springboard missile dropkick, but is tripped by Hemme. Rave stomps Lethal to gain the advantage. Hoyt gets tripped by Ace Young and Lethal manages to get a rollup on Rave to win the match. (*. I’m annoyed by the finish, but it’s to be expected. TNA using lower level American Idol singers to potentially get some media coverage is a bit… cringe. They are absolutely hinting towards an eventual breakup between Lethal and Dutt.)
6.) Jay Lethal tells Sonjay Dutt he has something to ask him as the show goes to commercial. Lethal tells Dutt they’ve been friends for a while and has something to ask Dutt, which makes Dutt a little nervous. Lethal says it is only ten days before the wedding and reminds Dutt that he asked Dutt to be his best man and never got an answer. Lethal wants Dutt to accept the offer. Dutt shakes Lethal’s hand to be the best man. Ace Young says they will have a bachelor party next week and proceeds to introduce his new music video that features Lethal and So Cal Val. It’s not the official music video, though. There’s an official music video that has random people playing the couple that Lethal and Val portray here.
7.) Backstage, Lauren tells Angelina Love and Velvet they give women a bad name. Love says Lauren disrespects the Beautiful People and they give her the brown paper bag treatment. Lauren leaves the scene and Love says they will do the same to all the wenches that disrespect them. Love focuses on Roxxi and calls her a she beast. Love wants to barf at the thought of wrestling Roxxi. Love only barfs when she needs to get under 95lbs. Sky chimes in and says they can look, but never touch the Beautiful People.
8.) Roxxi grabs Love before she can leave the ring and pummels Love on the mat with a flurry of strikes. Roxxi rams Love into the corner and sends Love across the ring to deliver a splash. Roxxi clotheslines Love and continues to pummel Love with strikes on the mat. Roxxi grabs Love off the ropes and continues to strike Love on the mat. Roxxi chases Velvet on the floor, but Love nails Roxxi with a clothesline in the ring. Love chokes Roxxi on the mat and slams the back of Roxxi’s head on the mat. Love kicks Roxxi in the corner and taunts the referee. Roxxi elbows Love charging towards her, but is met with a pump kick. Love tries for a cover, but Roxxi powers out at two. Love forearms Roxxi several times and runs the ropes, but is slammed. by Roxxi. Roxxi clotheslines Love a few times and continues with strikes to knock Love to the mat. Roxxi nails Love with a big boot leading to a near fall. Roxxi knocks Sky off the apron and almost pins Love with a rollup. Roxxi tries for the Voodoo Drop, but Love knee lifts Roxxi. Sky sprays hairspray into Roxxi’s eyes allowing Love to hit a leaping flatliner for the win. After the match, Roxxi is beaten down as ODB runs down with a crutch as Gail Kim remains on the aisle with the other crutch due to her knee injury. (*1/2. It wasn’t a terrible match and they kept a good pace to make it go by faster. The cheap finish is fine, I guess. Roxxi has potential to be a good face for TNA if given the chance to reach that level. Her finishing move is a devastating move and is over with the crowd.)
9.) Backstage, Jim Cornette is livid with Jeremy Borash for allowing Kong to beat up a female fan. Cornette asks if Borash is trying to get fired, or get Cornette fired. Corentte tells Borash he’ll be the fall guy before it’s ever him. Cornette told Borash to take one for the team and asks Borash what he was thinking. Borash shows Cornette the ratings from last week and apparently it was the highest rated segment on the show. Cornette tells Borash the clueless fans sign a waiver. Booker T enters the room with Team 3D. Booker asks Cornette why his locker room smells like rodents have pissed it in all week. Booker says he’s better than everyone else and doesn’t deserve this treatment. Booker tells Cornette to dress in his Chevy Nova while Booker will dress in Cornette’s office. Booker threatens Cornette to leave the office. Brother Ray tells Booker to relax and suggests Cornette do the right thing. Cornette has business to take care of in the ring and says it would be in their best interest to not be there when he returns.
10.) A video of Eric Young in Memphis continuing to look for Elvis is shown.
11.) Jim Cornette is in the ring and proceeds to rundown what we’ll see at Slammiversary. AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle, TNA Tag Team Champions LAX vs. Team 3D and the King of the Mountain match for the TNA World Championship are official. Kevin Nash makes his way out to join the segment with Cornette. Nash apologizes for not being able to hear Cornette because of his music and the pop from the crowd. Nash asks what Cornette will do if Booker T and Team 3D are still in his office. Nash tells Cornette that security can’t maintain the crowd at a Jonas Brothers concert let alone Booker T and Team 3D. Nash reminds Cornette that Matt Morgan isn’t there to deal with it. Nash thinks that Cornette has lost control of the office and asks if Cornette wants to lose control of the company and wants his help. Cornette is sure that Nash wants something in return. Nash tells Cornette he’ll take care of the three guys in the back and in return then Nash will be the special enforcer at Slammiversary. Cornette asks why Nash wants to be in the match so badly. Nash tells Cornette the fans should pay for that answer. Cornette agrees to the deal. Nash wants Cornette to ask him nicely. Cornette asks Nash nicely to get the three guys out of his office and be the special enforcer. Nash shakes Cornette’s hand to make it an official deal.
12.) A video focusing on Abyss in solitary confinement is shown. Abyss says the doctors have set his release date as being in ten days, which is Slammiversary. They have said that Abyss is cured now and there will not be agony or blood anymore. Abyss is no longer a danger to himself.
13.) Bates tries to runaway from Kong, but that doesn’t last too long. Kong tosses Bates to the canvas. Bates kicks Kong on the thigh, but is met with a slap to the head. Kong knee lifts Bates in the corner and delivers a strike to send Bates rolling to the floor. Kong follows Bates to the floor and prevents Bates from escaping up the aisle. Kong clubs Bates over the back on the floor followed by a strike to the face. Kong kicks Bates on the mat several times. Kong plants Bates with the Awesome Bomb and picks up the easy win. (NR. It’s just a beating by Kong, and it’s enjoyable for what it is.)
14.) Backstage, Kevin Nash enters the office to meet with Booker T and Team 3D. Nash assures them he’s in the right spot and tells them they have to leave. Nash says he’s Cornette’s muscle until he gets what he needs. Brother Devon tells Nash that there’s three of them and only Nash. Nash tells Devon he has his friend Louie and pulls out a wooden baseball bat to scare the heels from the office. Nash tells them it is just business.
15.) A video package highlighting the issues between Rhino and James Storm is shown.
16.) Backstage, Rhino and James Storm are brawling. Rhino hits Storm with a ladder. Jacqueline whacks Rhino over the back with a shovel. Storm is stopped by security. Storm decks security as the show goes to commercial.
17.) Rhino and Storm are brawling towards the ring as Rhino sends Storm into the railing gut first. Rhino plays to the crowd and delivers a strike as Storm staggers towards the ringside area. Storm rams Rhino into the railing face and back first. Storm tries for a suplex on the ramp, but Rhino counters with a suplex on the ramp. Rhino scares Jacqueline away, but Storm spits something into Rhino’s face. Storm rams Rhino onto the announcers table and whacks Rhino with a water bottle. Storm sends Rhino into the railing and continues to deliver strikes before finally getting into the ring. Storm works over Rhino with strikes on the mat. Storm snapmares Rhino and gets control with a chin lock. Storm delivers a leg drop and mounts Rhino to deliver several right hands. Rhino responds with right hands to stagger Storm. Rhino clotheslines Storm and plays to the crowd. Rhino dumps Storm to the apron, but Storm delivers a kick and a neckbreaker for a two count. Storm chokes Rhino over the middle rope and distracts the referee to allow Jacqueline to choke Rhino. The show goes to commercial.
Rhino clotheslines Storm followed by an elbow strike and a shoulder ram in the corner. Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex on Storm. Rhino waits in the corner, but misses the GORE. Storm nails Rhino with the Last Call sending Rhino to the floor. Storm and Jacqueline work together to roll Rhino back into the ring. Storm tries for the cover, but Rhino kicks out at two. Storm waits in the corner for another Last Call attempt. Rhino struggles to his feet, but ducks the Last Call and hits the GORE to win the match. (**. I can appreciate the clean finish. It seemed obvious that Rhino would win since you’d want as many top names in the title match at Slammiversary.)
18.) A video package highlighting the relationship between Christian Cage and Tomko is shown.
19.) Backstage, Jeremy Borash asks Tomko if there’s any remorse for what he did to AJ Styles. Tomko doesn’t have any remorse for Styles finding a new partner while he was away. Tomko says it is all about him now and he’s going to wear Christian’s blood. Tomko promises he’s going to Slammiversary and will win the TNA World Championship.
20.) Tomko attacks before the bell yanking Cage off the middle rope to the mat. Tomko pulls off Cage’s ring attire and chokes Cage with his jacket. Cage fires back with several chops, but Tomko knee lifts Cage. Cage ducks a chop and walks into a boot. Cage tries for a rollup, but is sent into teh corner. Cage elbows Tomko followed by more chops. Tomko is met with a boot in the corner and eye rakes Cage. Tomko big boots Cage off the middle rope to the floor as the show goes to commercial.
Tomko tries for a slam, but Cage fights free. Tomko plants Cage with a tilt a whirl slam for a two count. Tomko keeps a sleeper on Cage in the middle of the ring. Cage fights free, but is met with a back elbow strike. Tomko casually kicks Cage and taunts his former friend. Tomko press slams Cage and switches to a fallaway slam for a near fall. Cage kicks Tomko away in the corner, but Tomko responds with chops before sending Cage through the ropes to the floor. Tomko continues to pummel Cage on the floor before returning to the ring. Tomko chokes Cage over the bottom turnbuckle Tomko hooks Cage for a suplex and drives Cage to the mat for a near fall. Cage fights back with right hands, but Tomko drives Cage into the corner and sits Cage on the top turnbuckle. Tomko tries for a boot, but is met with a slap and a tornado DDT by Cage. Cage chops Tomko several times and avoids a big boot. Cage drop toe holds Tomko over the middle rope and steps on Tomko’s back for a moment. Cage misses a clothesline and delivers a reverse DDT. Cage heads to the top rope missing a frog splash. Tomko misses a splash in the corner and decks Cage with a clothesline for a near fall.
Tomko tries for a TKO, but Cage counters and tries for the Un-Prettier. Tomko drives Cage down with a chokeslam for a near fall. Tomko punches Cage in the corner, but is powerbombed out of the corner. Cage hits a top rope frog splash for a two count. Tomko puts Cage in the Torture Rack and hits a swinging neckbreaker for a two count. Cage avoids a big boot, but can’t hit the Un-Prettier. Cage counters out of the Torture Rack and spikes Tomko with the Un-Prettier to win the match. (**1/2. Obviously these two have some chemistry and the action wasn’t too bad, really. Tomko doing a clean job might not be a good sign for his direction in TNA. I feel like there was never a doubt about Cage being in the KOTM. It sure seems as if TNA has a shortage of viable heels against the babyfaces.)
21.) Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Karen Angle and AJ Styles. Styles reveals his black eye and tells Borash to wait a few minutes as he’ll address Karen in the ring.
22.) Backstage, Kurt Angle is here and is walking towards the ring area, too.
23.) Karen Angle comes down to the ring, but Kurt Angle has attacked AJ Styles backstage. Kurt rams Styles face first onto a table and delivers an uppercut. Angle pummels Styles with strikes and chokes Styles on the floor. Kurt tosses Styles over the table. Kurt leaves the area and heads towards the ring to confront Karen. Kurt grabs the microphone from Karen and asks who she was expecting. Kurt tells Karen he’s not going to hurt her. Kurt wants Karen to tell everyone how she ruined their marriage and ruined their family. Kurt wants Karen to admit to cheating on him with AJ Styles. Karen slaps Kurt before he can call her a whore. AJ Styles has recovered and slides into the ring to deck Kurt with a flurry of strikes and stomps on the mat.
Team 3D, Tomko and Booker T run into the ring and make the save attacking Styles. Styles is held down on the mat as Kurt puts the ankle lock on Styles. Tomko punches Styles several times. Christian Cage runs down to the ring and tries to help Styles, but is also beaten down by the heels. Booker nails Cage with a savant kick. Angle uppercuts Styles to the mat. Tomko decks Styles with a lariat. Booker comes off the ropes to scissor kick Cage to the mat. Kurt Angle, Team 3D, Booker T and Tomko stand tall to end the program.
Final Thoughts:
Call me crazy, but the heel stable of Angle, Team 3D, Tomko and Booker T would have been stronger for the Lethal Lockdown match at Lockdown than what we got, right? Kurt and AJ are having a heated feud and quite personal with Karen’s involvement. I’m enjoying that for the time being. However, that’s about it. There isn’t anything that’s making the show must-see aside from Kurt/AJ and their exposure has been limited, which is fine long-term. I wouldn’t say it was a bad episode of Impact, but it was mostly dull.
Thanks for reading.