PWG The Secret of the Ooze 8/14/2004

Written By: Jim

The Secret of the Ooze
August 14, 2004

Tag Team Gauntlet Match
Pretty this is not. First pairing is Human Tornado and Supa Badd vs Top Gun Talwar and Charles Mercury. Blown spots run amok. However, Tornado has one of his best spots in his career that shall be shown in gif form below. Once Tornado and Badd (Who lives up to his Badd name) are eliminated Discho Machine and Excalibur comes out to continue the horrible match. Luckily, once Talwar and Mercury are eliminated, things finally improve with the final team – Los Rojo Locos. Locos are just the Ballard Brothers working the old Midnight Rider gimmick. The best way to describe this last pairing is it’s a poor version of a really good match. But it at least ends this match on a high note. Ballards are a pretty underrated tag team.

Joey Ryan vs Quicksilver
Joey’s still one-half of the PWG tag champions with Scott Lost, but they’ve already split. It’s the next show (Ironically titled “The Next Show”) they have the first ever ladder match in PWG to determine who will keep the belts. Surprisingly, a psychology based match. Both guys focus on the left arm of the other. Everything comes back to the arm in either offense or defensive moves. Even the finish of Joey getting the rollup finish was made possible because of the weak arm/shoulder of Quicksilver. Sloppy at times, but this was still a quality match. 3 1/4 Stars.

Brad Bradley and Babi Slymm w/Vander Pyle vs Apollo Kahn and Brandon Thomaselli
Two thoughts. 1) Who the hell names their kid Brad when their last name is already Bradley? 2) How many damn Thomaselli brothers are there? They’re like a less eccentric version of the Dudleys. I threw on the commentary due to such low expectations. As it turns out, it helped a lot. While Thomaselli had a good deal of talent, everyone else sucked pretty bad. Sadly, Brandon can’t be in the ring all the time. That’s where Disco Machine and Excalibur’s racist commentary picks up the slack. The main objective was to get Bradley and Slymm over as the new clients of Vander Pyle and it worked. They’re faces, but they seem like the future monster heel team for PWG.

Josh Prohibition vs Puma
Can’t go wrong with a little TJ Perkins. Fun little match here with Prohibition being the asshole heel and Puma as the underdog babyface. Short and simple with Puma hanging in there and getting the surprise win with some variation of the Sharpshooter/Figure Four. 2 1/2 Stars.

Frankie Kazarian (c) vs Colt Cabana w/Vander Pyle – PWG World Title
Your classic mid 2000’s Cabana comedy match mixed with some good wrestling. I wouldn’t want to see it as a ROH World Title match, but it works fine here. Cabana’s very over, so the crowd was always in the match. Both teased using the other man’s finisher to add in a little more heated dynamic of the match. The biggest problem is that the finish just comes out of nowhere. It’s not quite as good as Frankie vs AmDrag, but it’s as good as Kazarian’s other PWG title defenses. 3 1/4 Stars.

After the match, Brad Bradley and Babi Slymm attacks Cabana. Vander Pyle turns on Cabana and sides with his two monsters. This brings Kazarian back in the ring, but he helps as well. Vander Pyle gets on the mic and announces the creation of The First Family with Bradley, Slymm and Kazarian. Holy shit. Suddenly, Embassy 2010 doesn’t seem like such a horrible faction.

CM Punk vs Donovan Morgan
Punk is wearing some pink Crash Holly/Steve Richards style tights. Punk is his usual quality self, working on Morgan’s arm and just generally making this entertaining enough. However, it’s hard to be excited for these sort of matches when you remember what Punk was doing around the same time in ROH. The match works fine on a PWG show, but his matches in PWG aren’t nearly the DVD draws that they are in ROH. 2 1/4 Stars.

Samoa Joe vs Super Dragon – Number 1 Contenders Match
Second time seeing this. I actually enjoyed it a little more the second time around. I think I finally worked out a mental understanding for these matches. Super Dragon is similar to a junior high bully. Yes, he can kick anyone’s ass in junior high. However, when the big bad high schooler, Joe, comes around, Dragon’s going to get murdered. That’s exactly what this was. The count-out sucks, but it sets up a rematch. In some ways, it’s a lot like the Joe/Punk trilogy. Even though the underdog couldn’t win that first match, he hung in there with Joe and didn’t get pinned or submitted. This was a So-Cal dream match and it managed to be the best match of the night. 3 1/4 Stars.

Overall
Being the first show after the anniversary show, you can’t expect too much from this. You are given three good matches and more importantly, importance. PWG was in the middle of a change at the time from the first year or so. You have the creation of the First Family (As horrible of a faction as it was), the first Joe/Dragon match and the announcement of the ladder match at The Next Show. As long as you skip over all of the tag matches (Minus Excalibur/Disco vs Rojos), it’s not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Worth Checking Out
Joey Ryan vs Quicksilver
Colt Cabana vs Frankie Kazarian
Samoa Joe vs Super Dragon

Avoid
First Family vs Kahn and Thomaselli
Tag Team Gauntlet