Written by: Matt Peddycord
WWE No Mercy 2006
October 8, 2006
I had thought about going to this show, but since PPV’s really haven’t been filled with surprises in quite some time and I didn’t feel like paying for it, I just stayed home instead. But now I wish I had gone to have seen Benoit’s return. That man will rip you into shreds. On an unrelated note, once Cyber Sunday rolls around, I will be starting a new job and going to school full-time, so these reviews probably won’t be getting done very quickly. I won’t know for sure yet what my schedule will look like for a couple weeks, but I’m hoping to stay pretty busy so I can help pay for my schooling. Don’t worry though, I will find time to do the PPV’s and maybe some older stuff as well.
Your hosts are Michael Cole & John “Bradshaw” Layfield
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy – non-title match
The commentators call Helms undefeated on PPV this year, but I guess they’ve forgotten the travesty of him losing to JERRY FREAKIN LAWLER at New Year’s Revolution. Helms tries to control early, but goes down to a shoulderblock from Matt. Hardy delivers a waistlock takedown, but Helms escapes to a stalemate. Helms goes after Matt’s arm, but Hardy flees out of an armbar to return to another stalemate. “Hardy” chants are THICK! Helms teases a test of strength and whips Matt down to the mat so he can kick him hard in the back. Helms picks Matt up and takes him in the corner so he can stomp him down. Helms tries a suplex, but Matt counters into one of his own. A pair of elbows from Hardy gets one. Matt tosses Helms out to the floor and levels him with a pescado! Back in, Hardy goes for the ten-count corner punch, but Helms counters back with a hotshot. I hope any respectable North Carolina native would hate it when Texans call our state, “North Kak-a-lakky!” I’m looking at you, JBL! A Helms neckbreaker gets two, but then he charges into an elbow in the corner. Matt heads up, but Helms is there to stop him and bring Matt back down to the mat with a Russian legsweep from the second rope! That’ll do wonders for your neck! Helms covers for 1, 2, NO! Helms hooks a butterfly lock and drives his knees into Matt’s shoulders, and then turns him over in a pin attempt for two. Helms puts the boots to Matt. As Matt mounts a comeback, Helms gives him a double-knee facebuster for two. Hardy finally makes a big move and counters a fireman’s carry into a reverse DDT. Matt wins a slugfest and channels the spirit of Raven with the corner-clothesline/bulldog combo for two. Matt connects with the Downfall for two. Matt goes for the TWIST OF FATE, but Helms counters it into a Crossface Halo! Make it two for 1, 2, NO! One more! Helms comes off the top, but gets nailed in the gut. Hardy hits the Side Effect for 1, 2, NO! Another Side Effect for 1, 2, NO! Make it three! Hardy goes up top and tries a moonsault (!), but Helms gets his knees up. Hardy ducks the SHINING WIZARD from Helms and rolls him up for 1, 2, NO! Matt tries for the TWIST OF FATE again, but Helms back drops out of it. SHINING WIZARD connects! He covers Matt for 1, 2, NO! Helms sets Matt up top and they brawl. Matt knocks Helms to the mat, but he gets pulled off onto the top rope. Helms climbs to the top and nails Matt with a SHINING WIZARD back into the ring for 1, 2, NO! Matt got his foot on the bottom rope. Helms tries for the NIGHTMARE ON HELMS STREET, but Matt shoves him off. Helms attempts one more SHINING WIZARD, but Matt blocks and quickly hits the TWIST OF FATE for the win, giving Helms his first loss on PPV this year. (13:08) These two busted theirs to put on a good match, and they delivered. Much better than their GAB match and I’m sure the crowd had a lot to do with that. **¾
King Booker wants total seclusion to prepare for his four-way match. Before that can happen, Regal stops by to see if there is anything he can do to help the champ. He asks him to find Finlay and convince him to be Booker’s ally. SUCKAAAAAA!
WWE Tag Champs Brian Kendrick & Paul London (w/Ashley) vs. KC James & Idol Stevens (w/Michelle McCool)
London wins a slugfest with Stevens to start and then delivers a sweet standing rana. The champs make frequent tags in and out dominating Stevens with double team moves, until Stevens sneaks in a forearm blow and tags out to James. The heels control for only a brief moment as Kendrick slips out of a slam and tags in London. They connect with stereo forearms to put James down for a quick two. Stevens gets in a blind tag and comes off the top onto London, but he gets kicked on the way down. The heels go to the floor so the champs can nail them with STEREO PLANCHAS! Back in the ring, London climbs up top and gets thrown out onto the floor! Stevens rolls London back in for two. London elbows out of a chinlock and tries a sunset flip. Stevens blocks it, but misses a leaping elbow drop. James tags in for a double-team, rope-assisted backbreaker for two. Since James can’t get the three-count, he returns to the chinlock. London fights out, but gets pounded and drilled with a backbreaker for 1, 2, NO! Stevens tags in and hooks on a butterfly lock, which London fights out of it as well, but can’t get the tag to Kendrick. Stevens drags London back to his corner and tags in James. London gets whipped into the farside corner, but James misses the charge. Stevens runs in to try and keep London from tagging out, but he gets dumped out to the floor. He still manages to get over and yank Kendrick off the apron before London can make the tag. Both heels are in the ring and they both duck low off a whip as London kicks them and rolls past them to tag in Kendrick. He’s got forearms and dropkicks for everybody! Kendrick tries for the SLICED BREAD #2 on James, but Stevens trips him up and crotches him in the corner. London is NOT going to stand for that, and SUCIDE DIVES out onto Stevens! Meanwhile in the ring, KC James delivers a superplex to Brian Kendrick. James covers, but London breaks up the pin at two. Stevens comes back in and throws London to the outside. Kendrick avoids a charge in the corner from James and then avoids another charge from Stevens, which causes the heels to collide. Kendrick takes James down with a Tornado DDT while kicking off of Stevens. Kendrick covers, but Michelle puts James’ foot on the bottom rope. Ashley hops up on the apron to let the ref know what happened, while Stevens gives James a Bobby Eaton side backbreaker! I LOVE that move! James covers for 1, 2, NO! Michelle hooks Kendrick’s foot as he tries coming off the ropes, but then she has a wardrobe malfunction and lets go. Haha. You know, that wouldn’t happen if they weren’t 65% naked. I’m just saying. Ashley has had ENOUGH and comes over and starts beating the crap out of Michelle. London helps Kendrick out of a double-suplex attempt and then catapults him into a double-dropkick onto the heels. SLICED BREAD #2 on James! London delivers the SSP off of Kendrick’s back! That is ALL! (9:37) Good formula match. Once James and Stevens become more experienced together, I don’t see why these two teams shouldn’t have the next great tag-team rivalry that has been missing from WWE for several years. ***
While Regal is out looking for Finlay, he stumbles upon Vito jumping rope the WRONG way. After Regal shows him how it’s done, Vito lifts his skirt to wipe the sweat off his face to reveal his rather large Italian sausage stuck in the tightest thong possible. After being so disgusted, Regal turns around to leave and runs into a condiment cart. Why can’t you just get the little packs like everybody else, WWE?
Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out to the ring to celebrate The Miz’s 26th birthday! There’s a BIG gift-wrapped box in the ring, balloons and a cake! JBL HATES this guy; as do I. Apparently, Miz has been hitting on that new chick, Layla. To show Miz how she’s changed her mind about him, she comes out to give him a lap dance. The trouble starts once she blindfolds him and out from the box comes the Greased-up Stripper Guy. When Miz starts to feel on the stripper guy’s chest, he realizes those aren’t Layla’s boobs. Naturally, Miz freaks out and runs away. JBL tells us that “Big” Dick Johnson is Cole’s prom date! I believe it!
MVP vs. Marty Garner
Montel Vontavious Porter looks like a skinny Godfather in a Power Ranger outfit. Garner is nothing more than a skinny jobber, which Cole and JBL find ridiculous considering MVP talked of beating all the major-tier stars. MVP screws around with Garner until he starts punching back. MVP ducks a punch and drives Garner back into the corner. Garner flips out of the corner off a whip, but gets nailed with a clothesline. MVP pounds Garner on the mat before delivering the PLAY OF THE DAY for the win. (2:31) Interesting to see what they could possibly do with this guy. ½*
After Regal and Vito take their showers, they dry off together. Vito sneaks a peek of Regal and can’t stop laughing, so Regal storms out of the locker room with his towel covering his twig and berries, leaving his butt cheeks accessible for everyone to see. He runs into Teddy Long in the hall way and gets punished for his horseplay with a MATCH. If anybody is playing with a horse, it’s Vito.
WWE U.S. Champion Mr. Kennedy vs. The Undertaker – non-title match
The belt isn’t on the line so they can bill Undertaker as a guy who doesn’t care about titles. I guess they’ve already forgotten about what he said when he returned at the Royal Rumble this past year. Kennedy tries the stick-and-run strategy, but Taker stops that with a big boot. Taker begins to weaken Kennedy’s left arm to set up the Old School. When Taker’s ready to head up top, but Kennedy pulls away and slides out to take a breather. Taker follows him out and slams Kennedy’s hand into the steps. Back in, Taker grabs the knucklelock and hoists Kennedy up in the air and drops him down. That was just too much for Kennedy’s arm, as he once again goes out to the floor. That proved to be a bad idea last time you did that, buddy. Taker follows him out and drives Kennedy arm-first into the steel ringpost. Kennedy goes back in and tries to escape through the other side of the ring. Taker tries to pull him back in by his arm, but since Kennedy is in the ropes, Taker has to let go. Kennedy baits Taker out to the floor this time and fires back with his right arm, but Taker boots Kennedy in his hurt left arm. Back in, Taker goes for Old School, but Kennedy springs off the ropes and brings Taker down to the mat. ZOMBIE SIT-UP, but Kennedy pounds and chokes Taker down into the corner, but Taker comes back with a boot to the left arm again. Taker tries for Old School once more, and this time he connects. Kennedy gets up and swings into a flatliner for 1, 2, NO! Taker scares the ref away, allowing Kennedy to untie the top turnbuckle pad. Taker cross-corner whips Kennedy and follows in with a clothesline for 1, 2, NO! Taker soupbones and chokes in the corner to set up a charging boot, but Kennedy moves out of the way. Has that ever worked for Taker? He lands on the apron, allowing Kennedy to send him falling into the barricade. Kennedy stomps Taker out on the floor and rolls back in, all the while selling the left arm like it’s virtually useless. It’s pretty basic psychology, that’s lost in WWE these days. Kennedy makes the mistake of going back out after Taker and gets caught as he leaps off the apron and then rammed into the steel spine-first ringpost. Back in, Taker covers for 1, 2, NO! Kennedy wisely dumps Taker so he can get a breather and a chance to recover. As Taker tries to get back in the ring, Kennedy sneaks in a DDT. SMART. Cover, 1, 2, NO! Taker got his foot on the bottom rope. Kennedy delivers the Bossman Straddle and covers for 1, 2, NO! Kennedy follows up by stomping a mudhole in Taker down in the corner and connects with a running FACE WASH! I like how he didn’t move immediately after he connected with that and just stayed there looking at the crowd. Kennedy covers for 1, 2, NO! Kennedy drops a bunch of elbows for 1, 2, NO! Taker wins a slugfest and then clotheslines Kennedy out to the floor. Taker goes out and sets Kennedy up for the guillotine leg drop on the apron. Back in, Kennedy fights back and delivers a piledriver! Will that be enough? Cover, 1, 2, NO! I can’t believe Cole called that a tombstone piledriver. Kennedy gets frustrated and starts pounding away and covers again, but only gets two. Kennedy hooks on a half-nelson sleeper/body scissors to try and put Taker to sleep. Once Taker begins to stand up, Kennedy changes plans and applies a reverse chinlock, but Taker powers out with a back suplex. Kennedy wins a slugfest, but goes down to the leaping clothesline. Taker hits a pair of clotheslines in the corner, hits the snake-eyes and the running boot. Legdrop gets the 1, 2, NO! Taker calls for the Chokeslam! As Taker goozles and tries to lift Kennedy in the air, Kennedy grabs the referee to prevent from being lifted. Kennedy kicks away and comes off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker for 1, 2, NO! Kennedy tries for the 360 roundhouse kick, but Taker ducks both of them and delivers the Chokeslam! Next up, the LAST RIDE! Once Kennedy is up on Taker’s shoulders, he tries to punch out, but Taker won’t go down. Taker lifts him up, but Kennedy goes over Taker’s head ala Randy Orton. Taker misses a charge at Kennedy in the corner where the exposed turnbuckle is, and gets his face slammed into it! Kennedy heads up top and delivers the KENTON BOMB! He covers for 1, 2, NO! ZOMBIE SIT-UP! Kennedy gets desperate and brings in his US belt. He wins a tug-of-war with ref Charles Robinson, but then turns around into a right from Taker. Now Taker has the belt and he NAILS Kennedy in the face with it in plain sight of the ref to call for the DQ. (20:35) Great match and would’ve been rated higher had there been a better finish. As far as the match goes, drawing a DQ like that goes against Taker’s character. He doesn’t need to hit someone with a belt to win. I mean, it’s obvious he didn’t want to lose cleanly to Kennedy, but still. I’m betting Kennedy will continue to say that he’s beaten all the competition on Smackdown for another month or so until he gets Tombstoned at Survivor Series. Before he leaves, he’s got TOMBSTONES for Kennedy and Robinson. ***¼
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero (w/Vicki Guerrero) – Falls Count Anywhere
These two trade blows in the ring and all the way up to the top rope, until they both knock each other onto the floor. Chavo beats Rey up the entry way and over the staging area. He tries to powerbomb Rey into the steel staging, but Rey grabs hold of it and kicks Chavo away. Rey holds on to the set and ranas Chavo onto the ramp way for two. Chavo gets whipped into the hockey boards, but then comes back and Gory Bombs Rey on those same hockey boards. Rey reverses a whip into a railing. Rey drapes Chavo over the railing and comes off the hockey boards with a legdrop for 1, 2, NO! Rey delivers a headscissors down the aisle way. Then he tries a wheelbarrow bulldog, but Chavo blocks it and swings Rey into the hockey boards! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Chavo picks Rey up and swings him again into the hockey boards and then into some chairs! They fight up the stairs ala Benoit/Sullivan ten years ago. Rey comes back and throws Chavo back over the hockey boards and out to the floor. Rey runs off the top of the hockey boards and delivers LA SILLA! Rey kicks Chavo around the arena, but Chavo comes back with a sharp clothesline. They fight over one of the entrances to the backstage area as Rey gets whipped into a railing. Rey kicks Chavo away and swings around another railing to some steps and connects with a 619! Rey climbs the steps and goes to the corner of the railing and leaps off for a crossbody block! They screw up the first pin attempt, but Rey gets the three on the second try. (12:11) Rey stomps on Chavo afterwards, but leaves Chavo alone once Vicki comes over to his aid. This reminded me of a wild TNA brawl with short people, and no thumbtacks. **¾
William Regal vs. Chris Benoit
NICE reaction for Benoit. This would be Benoit’s first match back since the Smackdown taping on May 23 where he was injured by Mark Henry. Early on, Benoit comes out of an arm wringer and tries a chop, but Regal gets his forearms to block it! GENIUS! Regal hooks on a side headlock on Benoit, but he quickly escapes. Regal goes for the legs, but Benoit stays strong and grabs an overhead wristlock. When Regal can’t get Benoit to go down, he maneuvers out and tries another headlock, but Benoit comes out with the overhead wristlock. Regal escapes and trips Benoit up and knucklelocks Benoit to the mat for a couple two counts. Benoit stands up into the test of strength, as Regal bridges to the mat. Regal kicks Benoit in the face and kips up. Regal monkey-flips Benoit and then rolls into a body scissors and finally releases the knucklelock. Regal escapes and slides his boot across Benoit’s face as he grabs his arm. Benoit punches Regal off of him and chops away! Regal tries to fight back with elbows, but Benoit just keeps on chopping. German Suplex! Regal blocks a second one, but drops to his knees after he takes headbutt after headbutt from Benoit. Standing switch by Benoit leads another German! Swandive Headbutt! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Regal rolls to the apron and kicks Benoit in the face. Regal tries to suplex Benoit from the apron, but Benoit blocks and comes out with him to try and German suplex Regal from the apron! Regal elbows out and gives Benoit a DDT on the apron. Regal rolls back in as we see that he is possibly busted open from the Swandive Headbutt or the multiple headbutts he received before that. Benoit rolls back in and gets hammered for 1, 2, NO! Regal delivers some sharp knees to the chest, but Benoit puts Regal down with one chop and goes the SHARPSHOOTER, but Regal kicks him off. Regal comes off the ropes and nails Benoit with a running knee for a couple near-falls before applying an Eastern Stretch. Benoit comes out of it and backs Regal into the corner. CHOP to the bloody forehead! I LOVE IT! Regal gets an extra surge of energy (I sound like Tony Schiavone now!) and drills Benoit with a pair of T-bone suplexes. Oh snap! A BRODY kneedrop from Regal gets a near-fall! Regal goes for the REGAL STRETCH, but Benoit blocks it with an armbar to possibly hook on the Crossface, but Regal reaches the ropes. As Benoit gets to his feet, Regal is there to kick him in the face for 1, 2, NO! Regal applies a surfboard and then turns it into a dragon sleeper! Oh my gosh! That hurts just to watch it. Benoit hammers out, but the damage is done. Both men try for a Dragon Suplex, but its only Benoit who delivers! Benoit goes the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE, but Regal is really fighting it because he FEARS it. Benoit has Regal’s arm in between his legs, but can he clasp his hands together? Regal is trying to block it, but to no avail! The CROSSFACE is locked in and Regal taps immediately! (11:17) I can see why they had them go over ten minutes, because there’s just one match left, and it’s not even close to being a three-hour show. But Regal has been pushed as a joke for the past I don’t know how long and for him to go this long and have that great of a chance of beating a well-rested Chris Benoit doesn’t make much sense. But if you just look at it as an exhibition match, it’s very good and shows just how talented both men are when you put them together. ***
King Booker stops Regal in the hallway to ask him if he’s found Finlay, but all Regal has to say is a bunch of excuses. Finlay finds Booker however, and gets in his face to tell him that he’s here to FIGHT and take Booker’s belt. So, I’m guessing there’s no alliance there. Booker blames Regal for what just went down. Regal tries to respond, but Booker doesn’t want to hear it and slaps him in the face and tells Regal to get out of his sight. Regal staggers back and then WALLOPS Booker with a left! Tell me he didn’t just do that, SUCKAAAAAAA!
Seriously, what kind of mind-altering substance is Lashley on? This guy has no personality outside of the ring. He and Batista share a moment in the back. Tonight, they are not friends. But after the show, they might go and have a couple cold ones.
World Heavyweight Champion King Booker (w/Sharmell) vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Batista
Just after they agreed that there would no alliances tonight, Batista dumps Finlay so he and Lashley can double-team Booker. Now Finlay hops back in and dumps Lashley, Finlay puts Batista down with a short-arm clothesline. Booker tries to nail Finlay, but Finlay stops him and tells Booker to help him get rid of Batista. Lashley comes in for a moment, but quickly gets dumped back out to the floor. Finlay and Booker stomp on Batista in the corner. Meanwhile, Lashley gets back in and throws Finlay back out to the floor and goes one-on-one with Booker. Booker is able to slip out of a powerslam, but then runs into a spinebuster for 1, 2, NO! Finlay pulls Booker out to the floor with him to bait Lashley out with them and he gets double-teamed and taken out of the match for the time being. Now the heels go in after Batista, who is still down in the corner. They double-team Batista and then give each a high-five. Both men take their shots, while playing a game of “who-can-hit-the-hardest”. Finlay is genius in this match because you KNOW he’s going to drop Booker like a bad habit when just the right moment happens. Just as I say that, he grabs Booker by the arm and gives him a short-arm clothesline! Finlay takes Batista out to the floor and rams him into the steel steps. Finlay rolls back in and working over Booker’s neck and shoulders. Lashley tries to get back in, but Finlay spots him and kicks him back down to the floor. Finlay hits a butt splash and covers, but Batista sneaks back in and breaks up the count at two. Finlay gets back to his feet and takes Batista down for a Fujiwara armbar. It’s done to the previously injured arm too, which Cole and JBL completely fail to mention. Batista tries to power out with a Samoan drop, but Finlay holds onto for a wristlock! Lashley comes in and break it up, but Finlay quickly goes to a half-crab. Now Booker causes a break by delivering a superkick to Finlay. Booker covers Finlay for 1, 2, NO! Finlay rolls out while Batista puts the boots to Booker. Batista buries his shoulder into Booker’s ribs in the corner, but then gets caught with a jumping side kick for 1, 2, NO! Batista wins a slugfest and then follows up with a sidewalk slam for 1, 2, NO! Lashley comes in out of nowhere and clotheslines Booker out to the floor. Batista charges at Lashley and gets dumped out as well. Finlay runs at Lashley with a chair and gets it booted back in his face! Lashley delivers a press slam into a gutbuster and sets up for the SPEAR. That’s when The Little Bastard sneaks in and low blows Lashley! Now Finlay has the shillelagh, and he nails Lashley in the face with it! Finlay covers for 1, 2, NO! Booker makes the save. Now both men try and get a quick win on Lashley, but all are failed attempts. Booker chops away on Finlay in the corner. Meanwhile, Batista gets back in and hammers on both Booker and Finlay. Batista nails Finlay with a corner clothesline and then delivers a JACKHAMMER to Booker! Finlay gets ready to break up the pin, so Batista hops up and floors Finlay with a clothesline. Booker and Finlay have rolled out; leaving just Lashley and Batista in the ring. After a staredown, Batista’s drive to become champion overtakes his conscience as he charges Lashley and spears him down. Batista covers for 1, 2, NO! Two more covers, but the result is the same. Batista pounds on Lashley in the corner and goes for a powerslam, but Lashley slips out and gives Batista a spinebuster! Batista’s nose is busted. Lashley delivers a pair of running corner clotheslines to Batista. Lashley follows that up with a belly-to-belly suplex and then dumps him out to the floor. Finlay comes in and gets dumped. Booker comes in and ducks a clothesline, then delivers the BOOK END! Booker covers for 1, 2, NO! Booker tries for a suplex, but counters with a small package for two. Booker hits a flying forearm for two. Next, he goes for the SCISSORS KICK, but Finlay cuts him off with a clothesline for two. Finlay charges at Lashley in the corner, but misses and goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Batista walks back in and he’s got spinebusters for everybody! He’s delivers the DEMON BOMB to Finlay, but then he gets drilled with a SPEAR from Lashley so he can’t make the cover. Booker crawls over to Finlay and covers for the three-count to retain his title. (16:54) Great finish as it sets up a number of things that the WWE can do with Booker/Finlay and Lashley/Batista. The match was an above average WWE-style four-way thanks to Finlay, but they still haven’t figured out how to bring all four men together at the same time. It’s still too much of the same old “one-on-one, break up a pin, change partner” formula that gets done to DEATH. ***¼
Final Thoughts: Smackdown is my favorite brand because they work their butts off on these single-brand shows. They have a much better pool than Raw because of course they are more “sports entertainment” oriented, while Smackdown is more about the pro wrestling. Four matches that are ***+, but nothing is really MOTYC. At the same time, Mr. Kennedy has his first big-time PPV match that might turn some heads who weren’t convinced otherwise. Also, I like what they’re doing with the main eventers. Finlay and Booker is gold (no pun intended) and Lashley screwing up Batista’s chance at regaining the title is interesting. Minus the MVP match and the male nudity, I didn’t feel like I wasted my time. I’m going to go with thumbs up for No Mercy 2006. No doubt, the best No Mercy since 2002.