Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
Video packages highlight the Vengeance PPV from last night, including Kevin Nash’s jackknife power bomb on HHH. The Game’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. He talks about his role in the company, and then segues into a tale about friendship in this industry. He puts over Shawn Michaels, Sean Waltman, and Kevin Nash. HHH says that Nash has changed over time, putting business before friends. He holds up the Wolfpac sign and says he thought that was forever. Yet Nash came out and attacked him at the PPV. HHH says it may sounds cheesy, but Kevin broke his heart. HHH says they’ve been friends for 20 years, and he knows that he is here tonight. If those years mean anything to Nash, then he needs to get down in this ring. Trips vows that when they face man to man, he is going to kick his ass.
Laurinaitis comes down to the ring, but HHH stops him before he can get in and says that he better not get in the ring. HHH tells him to shut up, and go find Kevin Nash. HHH says that if he doesn’t want him to embarrass the company, he needs to get Kevin Nash into the ring. If that doesn’t happen, Hunter is going to find Kevin Nash outside of the ring and do things to him that will send HHH to jail. If that happens he really will embarrass the company, so Laurinaitis needs to make it happen. HHH walks up the entrance ramp and tells John to bring him Nash. Kevin Nash sneaks up from behind and clobbers HHH with a sledgehammer! Security runs out to get him to the back. Laurinaitis is crouching over HHH and calling for a doctor. We see a recap of the show open. We cut to the back where HHH is staggering through the hall. He falls to the floor and appears to start flinching and drooling.
Back from the break, Lawler and Cole inform us that HHH has been rushed to an ambulance hospital. Nash finds HHH on a stretcher and jostles him around to continue the vicious attacks. HHH is defenseless as Nash pounds him over and over again.
Video Package highlights the latest Nash attack on HHH.
Randy Orton & Sheamus v. Christian & Cody Rhodes
Christian and Orton start things off. They square up and Christian hits a quick knee and punch. Orton is whipped to the corner, but bounces out and decks Christian with a clothesline. Christian is whipped into the ropes and then gets hit with a back body drop. Sheamus gets the tag and vaults into the ring with a shoulder block. Cover, but Christian kicks out. Christian hits a strong punch and tags in Cody Rhodes. Sheamus throws him high into the air for a back body drop. Rhodes is punched across the chest and falls to the mat. Sheamus starts to climb the turnbuckle, but instead charges across the apron and leaps at Christian. Cody attacks Sheamus on his way back into the ring and goes for a cover. Sheamus kicks out. Cody locks on a side headlock as we go to commercial.
Christian is in the ring with Sheamus and tries for the kill switch. Sheamus counters into a modified side slam. Orton gets the hot tag and hits his snap scoop slam. Christian gets to his feet, and gets met with a gut wrench neckbreaker. Cover, but Christian kicks out at two. Orton places Christian on the apron, but Christian pulls Orton’s neck down against the rope. As Christian tries to get back in the ring, Orton connects with the suspended DDT! Orton falls to the mat and pounds his fist to set up the RKO. Rhodes tries to interfere but gets hit with an RKO! Christian gets the advantage and tries for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Rhodes is back on the apron surprisingly fast, and gets the tag. He works the arms and neck of Orton before tagging in Christian once again. The Viper is constricted by a chin lock, but slowly gets to his feet. Christian punches him in the gut to halt the comeback. Orton finally escapes and makes the tag! Sheamus comes in against the freshly tagged Cody Rhodes, and clears out his foes. Rhodes is set up for the Celtic Cross, but Christian jumps onto the apron. Sheamus misses with a Brogue Kick and gets hit with Rhodes’ Kick. All hell breaks loose as all four men are in the ring. Orton hits Christian with an RKO, but then gets thrown out of the ring. Rhodes tries for another step off kick, but Sheamus kicks him midair. Sheamus goes for the Celtic Cross, and this time it connects! This match is over.
Winners: Randy Orton & Sheamus
After the match, Orton and Sheamus celebrate in the ring.
Laurinaitis is in his office with David Otunga. John is speaking to Stephanie McMahon. He hangs up the phone as Otunga advises him that Stephanie is just upset. Cena appears in the shot as Otunga is sent away. John Cena asks for a legitimate match against R-Truth and The Miz. Laurinaitis tells him fine, he can have it tonight. Laurinaitis will pick Cena’s partner for him.
Santino Marella v. Dolph Ziggler w/ Jack Swagger & Vickie Guerrero
Santino chases Dolph back with kick attempts, and then looks to lock up. Santino hits an arm drag, and then gives the trumpet salute. Ziggler runs up to stop him, and Santino threatens the Cobra. Ziggler runs away, but then goes on the attack. Santino is dropped to the mat and hit with a series of kicks. Ziggler hits a huge drop kick, and then shouts “how damn good am I?”. Ziggler stalks Santino and goes for a clothesline, but Santino clotheslines and then sets up for the headbutt. Santino gets to his feet and pumps up the Cobra. Swagger jumps up on the apron which distracts Santino. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, and this match is over!
Winner via Zig Zag: Dolph Ziggler
After the match, Swagger and Ziggler continue the attack on Santino. Swagger goes to the ankle lock, which brings Mason Ryan down the ramp for the save. He clears the ring and then helps Santino to his feet.
In the back, Zack Ryder skips up to the Bella Twins and is ecstatic to share that John Laurinaitis has chosen him to be Cena’s partner against Awesome Truth tonight.
Video Package: The Rock returns to the ring at Survivor Series
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for his Victory Speech. Del Rio says that everybody thought Cena would win at the PPV, but instead Del Rio retained his WWE Championship. Cena was lying on the ground last night like a dying dog. Del Rio claims to have proven once and for all that he is a better man than John Cena. Alberto is looking for new opponents, but says there is no one better than himself in the WWE.
CM Punk’s music hits and he walks down the ramp with a microphone. The crowd is chanting his name once his music finishes. Punk says he hates to interrupt people when they are talking, but he has beaten Del Rio several times, debunking his claim about no opponents that are good enough. Punk has never had a chance to win the Title from Del Rio in a singles match. Del Rio tells Punk that he is not worthy of having a match. Punk lost his match at the PPV last night, which makes him a loser. Del Rio tells Punk to come see him when he does get a victory over someone. As of the moment, Punk is at the back of the line.
Punk says Del Rio has brought up a lot of good points. Maybe Punk doesn’t deserve a Title shot, maybe he’s at the back of the line, maybe he’s a loser, and maybe if Del Rio isn’t willing to give him a Title shot, Punk will just put him to sleep anyway.
Laurinaitis walks down to the ring and says that he is fed up with all of this stuff. He isn’t going to let this happen on his watch. He introduces himself as the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW. John wants to make a match – CM Punk v. Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship at Survivor Series. Laurinaitis says that the only thing Punk has to do to get the match is to tell the WWE Universe that he respects Laurinaitis. Punk says that respect is earned, it’s not just given. Punk says that John is not doing a better job than HHH. How can he say he respects John, when John clearly doesn’t respect him? Laurinaitis tells him to be a man and say he respects him. Punk mockingly says that he respects the Funk Man, which causes John to give him one last chance. The crowd is chanting Punk’s name. Punk says okay, and tells Laurinaitis that he respects him. He respects the fact that John comes out in front of millions of WWE fans and has a dear in headlights look on his face, he respects the fact that someone who has to offer so little, has been able to do so much. Laurinaitis says that he doesn’t think Punk is good enough for a Title shot. He is going to take a week to make a decision. Punk tells him to think of this as he makes his decision. Punk attacks Del Rio, but Ricardo interrupts the GTS. Alberto flees the ring, leaving Ricardo to come face to face with Punk’s GTS. Del Rio heads up the ramp and stares down Punk.
Alicia Fox v. Natalya
It’s my birthday and I’ll be damned if I’m recapping an Alicia Fox match tonight. So here’s what they put up on WWE.com:
“The night after Divas Champion Beth Phoenix triumphed over Eve at Vengeance, her “Sister of Salvation” Natalya was less successful against the agile Alicia Fox. Rolling up The Hart Dungeon Diva out of nowhere, Alicia scored the pin and then exited the ring before a very angry Glamazon could do any damage.”
Winner: Alicia Fox
John Morrison v. Wade Barrett
Morrison hits a couple spin kicks and looks to take the early advantage. Wade slides out of the ring to catch his breath. Morrison flies out of the ring with a suicide dive. Both men get to their feet, and Wade kicks Morrison in the back. John is sent crashing into the barricade as we head to commercial.
The competitors are back in the ring, and Morrison gets decked with a big boot. Cover, but Morrison kicks out. Back on his feet, Wade hits another big boot which causes Morrison to tumble out of the ring off the apron. Wade slides him back in and goes for another cover, but Morrison kicks out. Wade looks for a submission, but Morrison punches free. Wade whips him into the corner, but John counters a splash into an elbow and two clotheslines. Morrison hits the spinning heel kick and soaks up the roar of the crowd. Morrison charges with a knee and goes for the cover. Wade gets his foot on the bottom rope.
Morrison is caught with a spinning side slam, and is barely able to kick out of the cover. Wade lifts Morrison up for Wasteland, but Morrison counters into a side Russian leg sweep. John tries for Starship Pain, but lands on his feet. Morrison tries for a springboard, but Wade catches him on his shoulders. Wade can’t keep his balance and Morrison falls to the mat. Wade lifts him back up and hits the Wasteland. This match is over.
Winner via Wasteland: Wade Barrett
Video Package: Kevin Nash attacks HHH earlier in the show
Lawler talks about the seriousness of HHH’s condition, but says that the show must go on. Lawler asks Cole how he can spend so much time on Twitter during the show. Cole says he can’t take this anymore and grabs a mic. He complains that Jim Ross has been on Twitter and in the WWE Chat all night making fun of him. Cole claims that Ross sent out embarrassing photos while tipsy. He proceeds to display them on the Titantron. Cole challenges Jim Ross to the Michael Cole challenge next week in Atlanta, Georgia. He is going to keep the details of the challenge a secret. Cole says that if Ross beats him, he can have his seat on RAW, because if Ross wins Cole will quit!
Josh Mathews is in the back with Zack Ryder and asks him about his match tonight. Ryder says that he has never been in the main event of RAW before, but he is going to be in a tag team with his Broski John Cena. Miz & Truth run into the shot and viciously attack Ryder, throwing him into the set. Referees hit the scene to clear Awesome Truth.
The Miz & R-Truth walk out onto the ramp and Miz calls for their music to be stopped. Miz says that HHH has been trying to quell the revolution that they started. Truth says HHH got exactly what he deserved. Miz said that they rose above the conspiracy. Truth says that all the Little Jimmies thought that they were done, but the party has just gotten started. Truth says that Cena thought the conspiracy was going to help him and Ryder win tonight. Truth says that nothing can save Cena from getting got. They throw out their catchphrases, and this match is up next.
John Cena & ??? v. The Miz & R-Truth
Zack Ryder was originally set to be Cena’s partner, but following the attack of Miz/Truth it appears that this will be a handicap match for Cena.
Cena and Miz start the match off. Cena pushes Miz into the corner and attacks with kicks and punches. Cena hits a Fisherman’s Suplex, but Truth gets the tag. Cena hits a snapmare takedown, but Truth runs and makes the tag. Miz slowly gets in the ring. Miz gets hit with an arm bar, but Truth provides a distraction. Cena is hit with a DDT, and Miz tries for the cover. Cena kicks out but is sent towards Truth in the corner. Truth gets a tag and helps double team Cena with Miz. Cena finds himself in the ring with a once again tagged Miz who is looking for a big splash. Miz charges across the ring, and connects! Miz scales to the top rope and leaps for an axe chop. Truth gets the tag and punches Cena square in the jaw. Truth goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out. The crowd is wildly split between Cena fans and haters. Cena gets to his feet and starts to make a comeback. Cena hits a huge side slam, but Miz gets in off a quick tag. Miz misses a splash in the corner which allows Cena to hit his shoulder blocks and a 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Cena lifts Miz up on his shoulders, but Truth comes running into the ring. Truth has a water bottle and smashes it into Cena’s face. The referee calls for the DQ.
Winner via DQ: John Cena
After the match the attack on Cena begins. Miz and Truth each hit their respective finishers as Cena is left lying in the middle of the ring. Miz and Truth go out of the ring and grab steel chairs. John Laurinaitis has a microphone and walks down to the ring. He tells them to stop their attack. John says they are being just as disrespectful as CM Punk. Laurinaitis tells the referees to do with Truth and Miz what everyone in attendance wants them to do, and escort them to the back. Laurinaitis says that he picked Cena’s partner tonight and that didn’t work out too well. Laurinaitis tells Cena he can choose anyone he wants. Cena realizes that there is no one in the company he can pick who won’t be sabotaged in the same way as HHH and Zack Ryder. Cena says that he isn’t going to do this out of friendship, but if he is going to defeat Miz & R-Truth, then his partner is going to have to be someone who brings it. The crowd begins a “Rocky” chant. Cena says that his partner is going to be… The Rock!! Cena puts so much emphasis on The Rock’s name that spit pours onto the microphone. Miz and Truth stand in shock as the show goes off the air.
So just for the record, tonight’s entire opening segment focused on the stories of 3 men who aren’t even full time wrestlers with the company. Nash has yet to wrestle a singles match in the WWE after his appearance in this year’s Royal Rumble. Laurinaitis is, well he is well past his days in the ring. HHH seems to be back in the game (see what I did there?), but is keeping his in ring exposure to a minimum outside of big matches. And then, the next segment featured them as well. It was 26 minutes into the broadcast before an active full time wrestler was even featured. I’m just pointing it out.
Christian/Rhodes v. Orton/Sheamus was a perfectly decent match. I doubt I’ll remember it a month from now, but it accomplished what it intended to accomplish, at least in terms of fan reaction.
Punk/Del Rio/Laurinaitis planted the seeds for their extended feud. I think Punk could do some wonders for Del Rio’s character by putting him over at Survivor Series.
I’m really annoyed that Alicia Fox was on RAW. She hasn’t been on in forever, but tonight she just had to pick up a victory over Natalya.
Ricardo Rodriguez is such a great goofball character. He has really taken Santino’s place in my heart over the past couple of months. Santino has lacked a certain oomph as of late, but Ricardo never fails to make me smile when he gets punched in the face or demolished with a finisher.
John Morrison continues to get beaten up each week. I’m not complaining, just observing.
I said last week that I was really hoping the Cole/Ross thing would be done and over with, but it seems that the exact opposite is true. Their segment received an impressive rating last week, so we are left to no doubt enjoy plenty of more Ross humiliation and Cole shenanigans over the next couple weeks. Clearly fans must be enjoying it, but I’m just so over it all already.
The main event was pretty much what you would expect to happen if Cena was in a handicap tag match against two former main eventers/flirters. The audience is left to believe that if SuperCena wasn’t hit with that devastating water bottle attack, he would have won the match despite the odds. It was immediately obvious that The Rock would be the man Cena would choose, and so he did. I’m sure they’ll beat Miz/Truth and then attack each other after their match at Survivor Series. Some people are wishing that The Rock had held off on competing until Wrestlemania, but I actually think this is a good idea. Not just because it will increase the PPV buyrate during a hard economic time, but it will help The Rock work off some of the ring rust that can only be overcome in the main event atmosphere. I believe Cena v. The Rock will be better wrestled because of The Rock’s involvement at Survivor Series.