Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
I really want to like Nitro. In fact part of me really does but at the same time it is becoming WWF-lite. Not as “racy” but enough so that it irks me. Yes, I love that the younger guys are getting a push, something I have bitched about for years (WCW time). But it is sacrificing what made WCW great: Quality wrestling. It has been off and on for years but for the most part it is far better than what the WWF puts on. This seems to be coming to an end…..Hopefully I am wrong. There is enough change and energy making Nitro a better show, and how the old timers are being shunted aside (storyline wise) that the payoff has potential. Only time will tell. Nitro fell in all hours and the last hit a 2.7 but the total still remained above a 3 with a 3.2. RAW rose back up to a 5.9 across the board. Hopefully less BS and 4th wall shit…..
Bret Hart is in the ring and he saw the tape from last week and Goldberg got screwed. There is a lot of scum in the back like Sid and Nash and Hall. The US title belongs to Bill Goldberg because he does not want to win a title that way. Sid comes out and disagrees, the belt does not belong to Goldberg but to himself and repeats that. Sid never lost as the ref stopped the match at his own discretion. Bret knows him and knows that Sid would not give up. Sid freaks out some more and Bret says screw you. Sid says it right back and clotheslines him. He goes to powerbomb him but the Outsiders arrive and Sid stops and looks concerned but they assure him all is well and give him the belt and he grins happily and leaves. Now Hall is toying with him and picks up the crutch….they pan to Heenan and Schiavone.
Revolution are in the back and they still have Torrie and Saturn arrives on a cycle and is berated by joyriding and he is baffled….
Recap of what Savage said last week.
Match 1: Vampiro v. Berlyn
They lock up and Berlyn holds him down in a scissors. Vamp is up but is tossed in a kind of back suplex. Berlyn uppercuts him but the whip is reversed. Vamp kicks him in the gut but turns into a powerslam and Berlyn drops a series of elbows. Here comes some freaky dudes, some rock group called the Misfits. Berlyn nails Vamp with a spinkick and stomps on him. Vamp mounts a comeback and kicks away and Berlyn tries to fight back but is heel kicked and the ref goes down. The Wall gets in the ring and clobbers Vampiro but as he goes off the ropes the Misfits pull down the rope and take him out. Vampiro goes up top and leaps right into a kick and Berlyn goes for a slam but is tripped up by the Misfits and Vampiro lands on top and gets the win as they hold him down.
** Not a bad match. Too much damn interference.
Berlyn tells the crowd to shut up. No more screw Berlyn and from now on screw USA.
Nash is reading the paper and he cannot manage Hall tonight. He does not have the proper paperwork. Nash is drinking beer and offers to be his promoter. Hall wonders if he is baked and gives him visine and Nash wonders why he has it.
Torrie who is dressed really hot for being a prisoner is in a fucking cage.
Cat is on Backstage Blast and he says he is back after a torn ACL in only three weeks. He tells the interviewer to shut up. Cat is he told he looks kind of soft and Cat begs off and the ladies agree that he looks good.
Revolution are in the ring and they mock the Animals. They brag about having Torrie. Malenko goes off on Benoit who comes out. Benoit declares that they have some sort of cage fetish and he points up at a cage and tells Dean that he will be locked up in a cage with a Wolverine (there is a cage there obviously). Dean will find out what silent but violent is all about…..Um, everyone knows Torrie is at. Jesus.
Someone is getting his chin worked on or some sort of plastic surgery and talking about it.
The Filthy Animals arrive and are asked for their passes and beat up the guy instead.
Kimberly is saddened by what happened to DDP and it is time for her to leave the Nitro Girls and they are distraught.
Match 2: Cat v. Lash Leroux
Jesus, this was about one minute. Cat’s knee gave out and Lash won….
Bret is told that Sid has his belt. Bret goes off on how low they all are, bottom of the barrell. They are all dummies and he promises to get even.
Nitro Girls are arguing who is boss or not. One of them leaves….
Kidman has his cam and they think Liz is about to change and they film it. Lex is whining about something. She is concerned about the brackets but Lex assures her that Flair and DDP are out. But he has to face someone and demands to know what Liz will do and she has to think about it….Not sure if this was done on purpose but they show the camera crew calling cut and Liz laughing as Lex berates her and keeps asking what she is going to do over and over. Not sure if this is some sort of Fourth Wall shit or a production error. Oh well….I hope the latter, I know there will be production issues during all these changes especially with far more vignettes. But come on man. And if it is some Fourth Wall shit, then that is what I am talking about with the stupid insider crap.
Video package of Scott Steiner. He is with Larry and he talks about his back issues and he tried to deal with it and had to have surgery. He is not sure if he can come back and prays to God that he can.
Nitro Girls are dancing in the ring and start shoving each other and bickering.
Tenay is with Buff who is facing Stevie Ray tonight and Tenay tells Buff that the Powers may have a surprise in store for him. Buff does not care and cackles and then flexes.
Someone, oh it has to be Nash and he is on the phone about blowing up the bridge. He was the guy getting made up earlier.
Nitro Girls are arguing some more and more shoving and fighting….
HOLY SHIT A WRESTLING MATCH!!
Match 3: Buff Bagwell v. Stevie Ray
There will be interference. Stevie comes out and tells Buff that the Powers have told him that Buff is not the chosen one and so they have a Strap Match and Stevie has to do what he has to do. Buff is not happy.
They strap up and Stevie chokes him out and then punches away. Stevie works him over for a minute and then Buff fights back and chokes him out with the strap. Here comes Creative Control and they attack Buff who rolls to safety and it is a DQ and Buff wins….
*1/2 So, how does that help…..They helped Buff win.
Tenay is with JJ who still proclaims his innocence. He talks about stroke and how Luger better apologize or he will be sorry.
Here comes Nash wearing all sorts of make up, looking like Vince. He states he is the most powerful promoter in the world and he single-handedly built wrestling. Fans scream that he sucks and to go to hell. He tells them that he is not that but they are. He did not buy his way to the top like Ted but he borrowed money and stepped on everyone to get here. He owns the show and is the only show in town. He is here for the sober and a babyface who will be pushed until people regurgitate and so give it up for the trouser snake, Scott Hall. Tony giggles and repeats that phrase like it was the naughtiest thing he has ever heard….Oh and Nash, I mean Vince says he has more than one catchphrase and will face JJ for the title. Hall comes out and the party police in the back told him that one more strike and he is out so he is not burning any bridges up North. Hall though wants to shoot and asks where he gets his clothes and then mentions a boutique and Nash asks where it is and it is down where…..and Hall states he has to wait to answer until the next hour for ratings reasons. He tells the North that their Attitude is right here and both do the crotch chop….Jesus.
Lex and Liz confront Meng and talks about how much they respect him and give him a bananna, which he tears up and eats.
Curt has not had his shoulders pinned yet and he thinks that Disco will be an easy match and he is not worried.
Match 4: Disco Inferno v. Curt Hennig
Curt hugs his dad and Disco comes out and gets beat up in front of Larry the Axe. In the ring Curt runs him over and dropkicks him. Then he knocks him to the floor. Disco gets pasted and Larry decks him to. Back in the ring Disco whips him into the corner and gets in some brief offense but he is smacked around some more. Some dude, who looks like the Lodi stalker comes out and talks to Disco who just left the ring after getting in a couple more offensive moves. They are talking and Disco is counted out.
* Jesus Fucking Christ.
Filthy Animals are with Tenay. Eddie does not like being stolen from. But they will deal with it. Kidman concurs.
Norman is readying for his Hardcore match.
Hall and Nash are in the bathroom and Nash is still acting like Vince and Hall is baffled.
Match 5: Barbarian v. Meng v. Norman Smiley
I missed something with Lex….I was numb from all the vignettes. Norman hits Meng in the head with a trash can and it does nothing. Meng hammers him. Basically Norman is comic relief as none of his blows have any effect. He is wearing a catcher’s mask. Barbarian and Meng are beating each other with alacrity. Barbarian is down and again Norman gets torn apart. This is the longest match by far. Norman is doubleteamed. The ref calls for the gurney and it hauls Norman out but he notices both men are out and then climbs off and pins them.
** Some comic relief.
JJ is looking for Lex.
Duggan is happy that the Powers will see him. He talks about his cancer and how he can have big effect on pro wrestling as he has the fan support and desire. It is Russo who is talking. He does not care and states it is all about ratings and dismisses him.
Hall and Nash are talking about Sid. They talk about Sid getting screwed and Nash cackles that Sid will screw Sid.
Lex finds Meng and offers his condolences for the loss but tells Meng that JJ is coming down for an interview.
JJ comes out and tells Lex that he has his Total Package right here. He wants an apology. This is not the WWF and we do not abuse women. Cue Luger and Liz. Luger agrees that he is not sure if JJ hit Liz. He apologizes and heard from others that it could have been someone else. JJ interrupts that he has all the stroke. Lex heard it may be Meng. JJ cannot believe that because it took Meng a day and a half to take down Madusa who is about 50. Meng charges out and JJ retreats and calls him Slap Nuts. Liz and Luger get in the ring. Liz calls Meng a real man and Lex could learn a lesson from this. She maces Meng and Lex takes the fake tire iron and beats the shit out of Meng. Meng is facing him next in the tourney I think….
FA are just strolling in the back playing grab ass.
Revolution are doing the same.
Hall and Nash are knocking on Sid’s door. No response.
Luger is talking to Sting and wants to partner with him for the tag titles. Sting begs off initially as he wants the WCW title but Luger tells them they can have all the titles. Sting nods his head and is in.
Match 6: Eddie Guerrero v. Saturn
Oh shit….It is a key on a pole match. Schiavone is actually breast size jokes. It is actually really creepy.
Literally we are nearly five minutes in and the bell just rings now. They finally go at it and Eddie drops him and goes for the key but he is grabbed and pulled off and stomped on. The cage is actually inside the ring, that is what took so damn long. They are going at it and Saturn is dropped but Shane takes out Eddie and he falls to the floor and into Kidman. They end up on the top rope near the pole but Saturn superplexes him off. Both are down. Saturn pulls him up and hammers him. He beats on Eddie some more instead of going for the key. He drops him to the floor and then runs him into the cage. He goes up top but then decides to drop back down and go after Eddie some more. But he is driven into the cage and Torrie has a strap and chokes him out. He can clearly escape but does not really try….I am stupid, the cage is right beside the ring. Eddie cannot climb the pole and grab the damn keys but finally leaps and grabs them.
**1/2 Not bad. A bit of a clusterfuck.
The FA are all hugs and kisses. Torrie is taller than Kidman.
Hall and Nash are with Sid and Nash, still as Vince, tells Sid to trust him tonight. Sid freaks out and screams that the last time he trusted him two years ago, his career has been in the shitter! Nash takes off the toupee and Sid realizes that it is not Vince and calms down. Fucking classic.
Lex is getting his flex on with a rubberband and talks about the title tourney and the tag titles. But he has Meng or Sting as his next opponent and is really vague….So it is obvious he is going to take out Sting.
Match 7: Kidman and Konnan (c) v. Lex Luger and Sting for WCW Tag Titles
Sting stomps Konnan out of the ring and then clotheslines Kidman to the floor. Luger wanted to pose! Luger is begging Sting to start and he allows it. So kind! Luger mocking flexes making fun of Kidman’s little biceps! Kidman dropkicks him! Luger leapfrogged! Well, he sells his knee….He wants the tag and is shoved into Sting who smacks Luger for it and the fans pop for the Stinger. Failed heel turn. Sting stomps the shit out of Konnan and it is Stinger Splash time, same for Kidman. Another for Konnan. Rey and Eddie run in and get taken out and now the numbers game takes over. Luger is wallowing on the floor. Konnan has Sting’s bat and he is using it with alacrity. Luger slowly rolls himself back in! He acts like he cannot get up and checks on Sting and Liz comes in too. Sting is irate and shoves Luger. Luger holds the knee.
Sid is told by Hall that he will lay down for him. He has nothing left to prove. Sid is a bit wary but Nash assures him once he gets back into Vince mode.
Sting is looking for the FA and is throwing stuff around.
Match 8: Booker T v. Jeff Jarrett
JJ attacks him as Booker comes down the aisle. The ref takes the guitar and that delay allows Booker to fight back and he tosses him over the railing and then pulls him back over. JJ counters and rolls him back into the ring where he stomps on him but Booker strikes with a sidekick and then runs him over with a forearm shiver and he gets two. JJ is able to shove him to the floor and he runs Booker’s head into the steps and then thrusts him into the railing. Creative Control is at the top of the ramp watching….JJ beats on Booker a bit more and rolls him back into the ring. He goes up top and his crossbody is turned over and Booker gets two. JJ returns the favor with a two count and applies a sleeper. Booker pushes him off and applies one of his own. JJ shoves him off but is hooked by one arm and slammed. Axe kick! Harlem Sidekick and CC come down and Booker hits both and JJ belts Booker with the guitar. Ref does not care….
** Not a bad brawl. Angle advancement.
Tenay is with Goldberg on the set of Ready to Rumble! Love that fucking movie!! Goldberg is pissed. He is going to put the Outsiders through hell. They just called the movie “Slam” after calling it by RtR. Oh well. After last week no one went near him and the Outsiders made a mistake by not finishing the job. He will not ask for help, the entire cavalry can come after him but Sid and the Outsiders are finished.
More Nitro Girl shenanigans. Nash in Vince form, calms them down and wants to save it for PPV!
Evan is grinning like a little child and is happy to be in the Tournament and hopes he can be friends with Madusa no matter what.
Now to Madusa. She is 50! Or looking that. Not that I would complain. They should never underestimate a woman especially her.
Match 9: Madusa v. Evan Karagias
Madusa is macking on Evan and then lays down and wants him to cover her and he stops and pulls her up. He is cupping her chin and picks her up and she falls on him but at least she kissed him. Tony and Bobby called it smooching…..Sweet Jesus.
Both Malenko and Benoit are shown walking in the back….
David and the crowbar have arrived.
Match 10: Chris Benoit v. Dean Malenko
They go at it and Dean stomps away in the corner but is powerbombed. Dean gets up and chops him and then climbs up but is pulled down and crotched and Benoit dropkicks him. One punch sends him toppling to the canvas. Benoit chops Malenko and now works him over. Dean counters and down goes Benoit. Benoit reverses the whip but he is caught and driven into the cage headfirst twice and Dean has him for a Tombstone but it is reversed! Benoit is up first and calls for the end and starts the long, slow climb. Malenko is right there and hooks him with Benoit sitting on his shoulders and dumps him back. Saturn climsb up but Malenko is shoved into the cage and down goes Saturn but he drops a chain. Benoit has it and knocks out Malenko. Benoit is up top and the fans stand! He hits the headbutt and it is over!!
*** Extra star for the bad ass finisher. For a Russo show this match was long…..Not long enough thoug.
Saturn drops the elbow from the cage and now the Revolution cuff him to the ropes and dismantle him. Rey runs down and the rest of the FA charge and it is a brawl. Well, Sting should be able to find them….David Flair comes down and uses the crowbar and now he is dismantling people!
Sting has found them as Konnan is backing up the aisle and gets blasted. David is uncuffing Benoit as the FA roll to the floor.
Asya had torn off the chain from the door! They showed it during the break.
David and his crowbar are leaving but he randomly stops and gets run over! The car stops and it is Kimberly and she has the bar and stands over a downed Flair, poking him with it. She is acting like a zombie and leaves. Looking hot of course.
Hall demands for some help as Nash is out cold!
Match 10: Sid Vicious v. Scott Hall
Sid pokes him and Hall goes down and Hall lures him by rolling him up and he gets two. Sid is not happy and tears into him. Sid is stomping away. Now a backbreaker as he manhandles Hall and then screams in his air some not very nice things. Sid is destroying him with some running stomps. Now a cobra clutch. Hall fights back but is chokeslammed! Sid is slowly pulling him but but realizes the ref is down. Here comes Bret Hart! He is crutching down and slams the crutch onto Sid and then corners Hall but he ducks and Hart misses. Hall is wisely fleeing. But he comes in from the other side and gets the win first! Now he runs out and he takes the US belt too!
** Actually not too bad….
*** Jesus, again it is way too much. More so this time. There is too much going on and far too many swerves and of course allegiance or non-allegiance. Who is face and who is heel? It seems that Russo is experimenting on having no faces and no heels and all shades of gray. The average fan will not like that but it may have some value. It adds an interesting dynamic but they need to slow down a bit. Focus on the wrestling and let that tell the story. We do not need to see them prepping for the match or so many different vignettes…..Just get them in the ring. But that will not happen under Russo. Look at TNA. Still, it is not hard to follow but it just makes my brain hurt and I would rather it not.
I just looked at the writing for all the matches….Damn, none were long at all. Shit. Wrestle dammit!