Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
What a terrible PPV. I clearly overrated that fucking disaster. The JJ/Benoit match saved it. The main event was not bad but another overbooked Starrcade…There is a shocker! The rest was pure nonsense. Overbooked, interference filled nonsense. I mean the show just felt disjointed and had no emotion; too many matches means that they did not tell a story as they were far too short. Nothing clicked. I was bored and overall, it shows the worst of the Russo Era, and it was on full display right there. Now for the fallout. Bret and Goldberg….Let’s make it worthwhile folks! Ratings went up to a 3.2 with a strong 3.9 start but then fell to a 2.9 across the board. RAW received a 5.8 with a 5.5 and 6.1. Back to Bret Hart’s injury. It sucks. Goldberg has been accused of being to stiff. He deserves a share of the blame. But it is wrestling. People get hurt, and it sucks. It is a shame that it happened to a legend and a guy who was champ and trying to revitalize WCW. It is clear he did not want to stop wrestling and kept going. Bret should have informed the office and they could have not put him in later Hardcore matches. They could have been careful, like with Austin for a couple of months. He could have wrestled but had the nWo take care of the lion’s share before losing the belt to whomever. Goldberg did not cause the stroke, Bret continuing to wrestle did. How WCW released him was BS but by the end of 2000 the writing was on the wall….
Madusa comes and brags about the being the Cruiserweight champ….Way to bury that Division. Women are running the show and too bad about the PTB because they are not running it. She continues and then challenges anyone. Buzzkill waltzes in to the ring with his sign and gets blasted with it.
Match 1: Madusa (c) v. Buzzkill for WCW Cruiserweight Title
She misilekicks him twice for a two count. He dropkicks her in retaliation. Buzzkill takes her down but Spice is distracting the ref. The ref glares and Madusa rolls him up and then after he kicks out she hits him with something and finishes him with a bridged suplex.
* Oh boy….
Russo is plotting with his crew and wants Piper as soon as he arrives.
He arrives. He has his son….Shit.
Piper enters the office.
Match 2: Hugh Morrus v. Curt Hennig
Shane is destroyed by some masked dude with a pipe.
Morrus will not allow him in and knees him off the apron. Now he suplexes him into the ring and runs him over with a lariat. He hammers him in the corner and then sandwiches him in the other corner. Here comes some old dude in PJ’s. Not kidding….Hugh is looking at him as he pounds on Curt. This distracts Hugh who now gets pummeled. The old man is at the ringside and pointing and waddling around. Hugh fights back and then talks to his dad….My guess is that who that is. Curt goes back to work. Curt pulls back on his neck and then clubs him in the head. Curt wins.
** Not too bad.
Russo is calling Piper names and he demands Piper go out and admit that he sold out. He has to do it and take Russo’s heat or the deal is off. Piper talks about shooting with him. Piper is flipping out and how he loves the business and he loves the guys. He has never sold out until he met Russo and made the stinking deal.
The announcers discuss the Montreal Screwjob and if this is a repeat of it. Nash has stood up for Goldberg…..
Here comes Nash. Nash talks about working in the biz and being with the boys and you never screw them. He talks about the boys and the office and they latter do not give a shit about them. They give no medical or even social security and the office tries to screw the boys. He does not give a damn about Goldberg but what happened at Starrcade was bullshit and it is about survival and the office is filled with blood sucking….He pauses and they take and take take. Now to Bret Hart and he screwed the boys and he calls him a piece of shit! Tony calls for break…..AWESOME!
Bret showed up during the break and does not look happy.
Gene is with CC. They claim that Nash is the biggest politician in the back and do not care about the boys.
Match 3: Tank Abbott v. Jerry Flynn
The ref is ousted and they are beating each other. Event Staff swarms but they cannot hold them back. Flynn is cuffed and gets blindsided by Abbott and he is not happy.
Revolution has the mic and talks about getting to the center of a Tootsie Pop and it takes, one, two, three. Shane has the mic and tells Duggan to come out and denounce America. Duggan does come out and refuses. He says he lied and attacks the Revolution. He gets stomped and the Filthy Animals make the save.
Piper is walking in the back with his kid. He comes out solo after the break.
Piper is booed as he admits that he sold out. Piper begs off and claims that he has done many bad things and brings up all the things he has done like the coconut etc. He is tired of the new writers and all of Russo’s BS. Some Roddy chants but he says he does not deserve it. He tells everyone that Goldberg is the real deal. Now the Goldberg chants and he continues that WCW deserves and the fans deserve real fighters. They have treated him well and he quits. He talks about hugging and not hitting our kids…Thanks! He rambles and then quits and leaves. His kid runs down and there are some Piper chants. Here comes Goldberg. He has always looked up to Piper and has respected him. He has tried to make sense of this. What Piper did was wrong and he sold out and he will never do that. Piper calls him a great piece of talent. He wishes him the best and tells him not to be a phony. Bret comes out and does not want this pinned on him. No point in blaming Piper as it was the office who did it. Oh, and he got screwed. Bret does not want the belt knowing he did not beat Goldberg and he declares it vacant. He is going to go to the back and shove it up their ass. Goldberg tells Piper it is all okay.
Russo asks what Bret’s problem is. Bret calls him a piece of shit and Russo tries to explain that he wanted to make up for SS two years ago because he knows Bret thought he had something to do with it. Bret swears and slams down the belt. Russo tells him that he is facing Goldberg tonight and now he can get his ass kicked like he would have last night.
Match 4: Norman Smiley and Meng v. Knobs and Finlay
They are beating each other in the aisle. Slamming weapons into each other. Norman has a helmet on. They are in Baltimore and Norman has a fucking Ravens jersey on. They fight in the back and now the bathroom. Norman is getting a swirlie! Holy shit! The door is slammed on top of him, the stall door and he is pinned. Meng was swarmed and knocked out earlier.
Norman is still getting beat up.
Piper is talking to his kid and tells him to stay in the back because he has to take care of something. Piper grabs a bat and leaves.
There is actually a vignette of Prince Iaukea recording. He is not singing of course. Just background noise. Holy shit, this is as bad as it gets.
Bret stops Piper and is befuddled by him. He is whispering to calm down and then just shakes his head and walks.
Match 4: Maestro v. Evan Karagias
They are going back and forth. Maestro takes him down and chokes him out. Evan fights back and Symphony runs distraction and Maestro wins.
Piper is hitting a prop wall in the back with a bat. He is naming legends as he destroys….I guess it is the PTB office. He hits a TV over and over and cannot crack the glass. He pauses and then swings at something….
Chavo asks if Evan is okay after losing the match, the title and all the girls. Chavo gives him a book: How to Pick Up Chicks. Evan beats him up!
Here comes Kanyon. The Triad is dead. He brags that he beat DDP….etc.
Match 5: Kanyon v. Bigelow v. DDP
Kanyon is surrounded. DDP chants! They are working over Kanyon’s arms. They slam him and keep after him. He tries to fight back but is slammed by DDP and Bigelow drops the head. DDP flies from the top and then so does Bigelow with the headbutt. DDP wants the DC but Bigelow wants his finisher and connects. DDP goes to shake his hand and DC’s Bigelow and then threatens to do it to the ref. He leaves, kisses a fan and then heads to the back. Ref starts the count and Mr. Biggs with his case comes in….The Agent. The ref gives it back to him and Kanyon wipes out Bigelow with a bottle of champagne and it is over.
** Angle advancement.
Nash is walking in the back….
Match 6: CC v. Nash
Hall hobbles out with crutches. Not sure if they are doing that to show why he was not at the PPV. But I swear he was fucked up….
No ref. Each punch and the CC screams shit. Nash offense in the corner. Other guy comes in and eats a big boot and side slam. Nash jumps on both as they are on the ropes. But he is dropped and choked out. He is still getting choked out. Tag made. CC is doubleteamed. Hall is in the ring. He is fine and destroys CC with his crutch and Nash uses the other. CC just leaves.
*1/2 Hall probably did not want to job to Benoit.
Luger is dressed as Sting and Liz is giggling.
Benoit is walking in the back.
Match 7: Jeff Jarrett v. Chris Benoit (c) for WCW US Title
Return ladder match. Benoit is not fucking around as he goes off on JJ. He low dropkicks him and then runs him over. JJ tries to fight back but on the back suplex attempt Benoit lands on his feet. He hammers JJ, hanging him upside down in the corner where he slide kicks him. He tries again but JJ lifts himself up and Benoit slides into the post. JJ slides his crotch into it and then goes for the ladder but is met by Benoit who decks him. JJ fires back and runs his head into a padded chair. Benoit blocks it and JJ eats it. Benoit smacks his chest and rolls him into the ring. He has a chair and wedges it into a corner and he turns and chops away on JJ. Benoit whips him into the corner and JJ bounces off the chair. Benoit uses it on the back of JJ. Benoit is relentless and he tosses him to the floor. JJ sells the knee and goes down. The ref is keeping Benoit back as JJ writhes in pain. Benoit brings the ladder into the ring. Benoit tries to climb the ladder and the rungs collapse! he goes up the other side, cautiously. JJ recovers and has his guitar. Benoit turns and prepares for the blast and he goes down. JJ tosses the broken ladder and brings in the new one. He sets it up in the middle of the ring. JJ grabs the belt….
*** That was a quick reign. The shenanigans were BS but it was a good match.
JJ and Curt are with Gene and the PTB stopped the interview and they leave.
Match 8: Sid Vicious v. the Wall
Sid takes him down and then knocks him to the floor. He nails him with bottle water as he pummels him along the floor. he rolls him back into the ring. Wall greets him with a series of forearms. Sid ducks a blow off the whip. He goozles and chokeslams the Wall. Here comes Berlyn who gets on the apron and points at Sid. Now Sid preps him for the powerbomb but stops. He goes for Berlyn and is clobbered from behind. Wall slams Sid and motions for the chokeslam. Sid is goozled and Berlyn missile kicks him down. Bell rings. Sid is pissed and he gets in the face of Sid and now backs off. He is kicked and powerbombed.
* Boy the delays here. Just powerbomb the fucker.
Wall is up and he stares at Sid. They shake hands.
Oh Jesus, the Big Marinara. Disco can sleep with the fishes or do something….He has not made the choice yet.
Goldberg and Bret are preparing for their match.
I missed something. A limo was in the back and JJ is told by PTB that something huge is happneing tonight.
Match 9: Varsity Club v. Harlem Heat
Mike Rotunda has the mic and makes fun of the U of Maryland. Rick wants to know where Booker’s girlfriend is at and how she fights his battles. Sullivan is at the announce table. Annoying as ever.
Ray is hammering Rotunda. Rick and Booker are in and Rick is dominating. Steiner is taunting Ray who ends up leaving. Sullivan goes after Booker. Steiner was at the announce table bragging about hsi math skills. He goes back to the ring and chokes out Booker. Ray did not leave. My bad. Booker escapes and tags in Ray who goes off. Sullivan attacks Booker. Now Ray is doubleteamed. Arena goes dark. Midnight comes in and they still lose. More bickering.
*1/2 Long and dull.
PG 13 from the WWF show up and attack the VC. They run. Oh, lord help me.
Misfits are in the back and Daffney is there and I think David attacked one as she is screaming and they call her a freak.
David and Daffney come out and they beat up Penzer! David has the mic and tells Vampiro to come out so he can whip his ass. They beat on Penzer some more.
Vamp starts to come out and he wants no problems with him. This whole thing is a misunderstanding. Flair is getting crazy eyes. Vamp says he is sorry that David is a psycho freak. Vamp turns his back and starts to yell at Daffney and he is blasted with the crowbar. A Misfit comes down with the same result.
After the break Vamp and crew are raging in anger.
Gene is in the ring and welcomes Buff Bagwell who supposedly had a great 99. Buff talks about his injury. Yes, we get it. Everyone wants to know why he does not have a belt and he keeps talking. Gene asks about Kimberly. Buff stops and yells bullshit at Gene. Gene thinks he is guilty and will not back off. Gene reminds him that he was with Kim when DDP was filming. Buff admits that women like him but he did not do it. Gene wants to go there. Kimberly is a ten according to Buff. Buff talks about the Marriot and how hot Kim is and she was in his bed and would not kick her out and neither would Gene. Here comes DDP! Buff looks a bit worried. DDP comes out from behind and beats the shit out of him. Security tries to hold him back as they go at it. Buff will not back down as they beat on each other.
Sid and Piper shake. Piper is giving a pep talk about the writers holding them. They will be burned out and done for. He made it so long because he has balls. He yells about sacrifice and his kids….on and on. Fans are rebelling as you can hear them. He wants them to form a Union. Yeah right! They golf clap.
JJ sits down at a monitor.
Match 11: Bret Hart v. Goldberg for WCW Title
They lock up and Goldberg pushes him into the corner. He hammers him and then whips him into the opposite corner where he clotheslines him off the rebound. Goldberg kicks him a few times and then punches him in the head. Bret lures him in and goes to the knees. One punch drops Hart and he is choked out with a boot. Bret goes to the floor and he is clobbered some more. Bret falls to his knees, and Goldberg pulls him up and is raked in the eyes. Bret goes to work but is flung into the railing. His head is run into the apron and he is brought back into the ring. Bret is shot into the ropes and powerslammed. He applies an ankle lock but Bret grabs the ropes. He is up and goes back after the knee. He wraps it around the rope and bends the leg. Goldberg shoves him off but Bret kicks him and punches him over and over. A series of body blows and now he bends the leg again. Goldberg goozles him and pushes him into the other corner. He swings and hits the ref. Bret nuts him and then puts him in the Figure Four. Here comes Hall and Nash. Hall has a bat as does Nash. Bret is begging off and they hit Goldberg with it. Nash gives the bat to Bret Hart and he blasts Goldberg with it. He rolls over Goldberg. Piper runs out and hits Bret but he is destroyed. The ref counts and Piper is on top of Goldberg. Jesus. But Bret is given the belt. The announcers sell it as Piper protecting Goldberg. JJ runs down and breaks the guitar over him. JJ has spraypaint. They spray nWo and hug each other in celebration. Tony calls it the biggest swerve ever. Nash informs everyone that the Band is back together…..
** Oh boy. The debacle of Piper getting the pin. Russo’s big plan was to bring back the nWo? Yes he has been criticized. I will say that at least it has some new blood. And Bret is better as a heel.
*** All this build and we get the nWo. Um….Yeah. So why did Piper do what he did last night? Why is the Varsity Club together and why is PG 13 in WCW? Three hours and only a little bit of wrestling. But it did go by fast and had its moments. I liked Nash’s speech. The Piper segments were a bit much. At least the Animals are back from the dead. Revolution is still useless. Benoit had a one night stand as US champ. Perhaps it was planned so all the nWo members could have gold. DDP and Buff may be okay. Luger just showed up for a second and giggled as he was dressed like Sting. It seems to me that this happened far too quickly but we will see where it goes before injuries derail everything. The short lived nWo 2000….Boy I just realized when I did a quick spell check that there was a lot of talking segments. Jesus. And it is going to two hours in two weeks and that means even less wrestling!
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.