Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Basically I have come out of the closet. The Russo Era is not as bad as I imagined. It is not great by any stretch of the imagination but it is so damn hard to take my eyes off of it. I actually like the Mamalukes! Now that being said, I miss the Cruiserweight Division and the Luchadores. I thought FA and Revolution would be used more and used better as they had been initially but that tapered off. There needs to be more wrestling. Sting starting to feel bad for Liz is terrible. Luger is getting a bit old even if it is slightly amusing. But seeing Bret Hart one more time as champ and Benoit getting a push is nice. Jarrett is actually pretty good….Overall there is far too much happening but at the same time, like that chubby girl who has a crush on you, there is something alluring about her and you also know she is going to cook you a mean ass dinner and try and get you drunk! Nitro fell to a 3.0 with the final hour dipping to a 3.5 while RAW hot off the wedding received a about a 6.0 with a 5.6 and 6.3.
Gene is in the ring and calls out JJ. Not a roaring start like last week. Oh well. JJ talks about being the Chosen One. He does not care about anybody or anything but the title. He goes off on Dustin and will end his career on Starrcade. The fans call him an asshole. He yells some more. He challenges anybody including Hart, Goldberg or even that slappy Tenay who will never show his face again. JJ threatens Gene. Tenay comes down and is willing to take matters into his own hands. JJ backs off as he does not any lawsuits. He claims last week was a misunderstanding. Then he yells and calls him an Eddie Munster lookalike and threatens him again. He wants his music hit and then blindsides Tenay and puts him in the Figure Four. Goldberg chases him off!
Marinara is screaming at Mamalukes. He wants Disco and Lash to meet the boss tonight.
Russo is with Hennig and Vincent. Curt wants him to keep Vincent and Russo keeps him. Rhonda Singh waddles in and wants a job….
Fit is training Knobs in the woods. Sweet Jesus.
Norman comes out wearing a Packers Jersey (in Milwaukee). I hate the Packers! Norman states that Fit is a coward and that if he was here he would kick his booty. He issues an open challenge for those who have the “intentional fortitude!” Out comes Rhonda Singh.
Match 1: Norman Smiley v. Rhonda Singh
Norman chants! Well, they are bashing the shit out of each other with garbage cans and other objects. Norman wins.
*1/2 Comedy.
Maestro is playing the piano and the fans chant faggot. The fans laugh when David Flair fucks up the piano and the Maestro again.
Russo tells Psychosis and La Parka that since Juve hurt his arm one of them will face Liger who gets a rematch tonight. But they have to fight right now for it. Psychosis blindsides him and wins! Poor Parka.
Luger is attempting to woo Liz with some champagne. She opens the door and Luger is all smiles.
Bret Hart has arrived.
Marinara falls for the pizza trick. He opens the door and Disco and Lash are there.
Match 2: Jushin Liger v. Psychosis (c) for IWGP Title
They lock up and Psychosis chokes him against the ropes. Liger fights back and knocks him to the floor. Liger slide kicks him down and goes up top and leaps on top of him. Both are down. Liger is up first and gets in the ring. Psychosis is on the apron and lures Liger over and bounces his neck off the top rope. Psychosis gets two after a dropkick. He is upset by a slow count in his opinion and shoves the ref who returns the favor. Psychosis backs off and takes Liger to the floor and whips him into the railing. Back in the ring he continues to punish Liger and gets two after a hurracarana but he walks right into a rolling heel kick. Liger shoots him into the ropes and gives him a backbreaker. He goes for a surfboard and Psychosis immediately escapes and runs off the ropes but Liger side steps and kicks him in the calf and then ties him up for the win.
**1/2 Not bad. Could have been longer but at least it was clean.
La Parka comes down and wallops Psychosis with a chair.
Nitro Girls are playing cards and making fun of the other ladies. Mamalukes are wearing leather and are looking for Lash and Disco. They get sidetracked again and the bald one wants to play strip poker and they agree.
Luger is begging Liz to get back together.
Maestro is staggering around looking for Symphony. He is screaming her name over and over.
Gene is talking to Mona’s boobs! Fucking awesome. She pulls his head up. She is not happy with Evan and Madusa. She is going to prove herself tonight.
Match 3: Madusa v. Mona
Evan was supposed to wrestle in some sort of three way but heads to the announce table. Mona gets the upperhand and so Evan helps her and Madusa rolls him up for the win. He is not happy. JJ comes out and dumps him to the floor and then shatters the a guitar over Madusa’s head and the fans explode! He calls out Goldberg and wants a piece of him tonight.
* Terrible match. Ending was classic.
Marinara is tied up and whining.
Luger thinks all is fine and gets some stuff dumped on his head.
Maestro still looking. They are right behind him but he does not see them.
Vampiro talks about blood and nightmares and Dr. Death. Weird.
Match 4: Dr. Death and Oklahoma v. Vampiro and Jerry Only
OK is mic’d up! Death takes out Vampiro. OK nuts Vampiro and stumbles all over the place running into a boot. Death and Only are in the ring and the latter’s punches have no effect. Vamp gets the tag and avoids most of Death’s offense and kicks him in the chest sending him down. OK uses his boot to knock out Vampiro and Death does the rest. He pulls off of Vamp and tags in OK. OK goes up and then goes back down to the first rope and drops the elbow getting the win.
*1/2 Jesus.
Strip poker. Mamalukes are losing badly.
Disco and Lash are torturing poor Marinara.
Luger is not happy.
Hall is facing Sting and acting scared. Like the TV title Sting is going into the trash. At Starrcade he is facing Benoit but he is not worried because Nash will finish him off tonight. Nash agrees and it will be a warm up for his powerbomb match against Sid. Some beer jokes…..
Match 5: Bret Hart (c) v. Lex Luger for WCW Title
See how easy it was to use Hart? He is fucking over. Dumbasses.
Bret does not mess around and assaults him. He runs him into the railing and then the side of the ring. Now the railing again. Bret breaks the count and goes back out. Back in the ring finally after some more pounding, Bret works over the leg and knee. He picks him up and goes for a backbreaker but Luger gouges the eyes on the way down. Luger is up and stomps away. Here comes Liz. Sting is right behind her. He stops her and offers his services. Luger is baffled and Bret gives him a Russian sweep and finishes him off with the Sharpshooter.
** Could have been longer but Bret got some air time and it advanced some angles.
They replayed the Vincent and Curt segment with Russo for no reason. Come one guys.
Midnight is walking in the back….not sure why.
La Parka is now Russo’s official chairman and at his command he will crack someone with a chair. Harlem Heat come in and Russo apologizes for being to hard on them. He will give them a shot at the tag titles. He gives Parka the signal and the ass kicking is on.
Piper ahs arrived. Screaming.
David is snuggling a scared Symphony and screaming for her to shut up, holding his head.
Gene is with Flynn now. Flynn is not happy with Berlyn for interfering, so he issues another open challenge.
Match 6: Aysa v. Midnight
Shane has the mic and he screams at the fans. He can do whatever he wants to the flag. They did not turn their back on the country the fans did it to them. Asshole chants echo. He continues screaming about that….
Asya gets in some offense but not much. Asya tries to fight back but Midnight is too much. The Revolution comes in and stomps a hole in Midnight. Here comes Duggan! He has a real board! He goes off on them but he is overwhelmed and stomped.
* Nothing great. Angle advancement.
Piper is yelling some more. He has to ref his own match.
Daffney! She is rocking back and forth holding a teddy bear. She loves all the stars of WCW and has always wanted to host a Nitro Party and she loves David Flair most of all. Tony and Heenan sell it like it is real….
Here comes Piper.
Match 7: Piper v. Creative Control
Piper is the ref so before the bell they have to listen to everything he say. He is basically strip searching them and the fans love it! This is an I Quit match and then nuts both and tells them there are no rules!
His flurry is short lived and Piper is getting mauled. They give him some gutbusters. They are about to piledrive him into the chair but Goldberg runs down and massacres both CC members. Now Piper is alive and he is choking one of them out with the tie. The guy quits!
** For sheer comedic purposes.
Piper calls Goldberg back into the ring and they eye one another with some talking. Piper thanks him….
Marinara is begging for mercy as he is tarred and feathered!
Strip poker again. Vito wants an underwear challenge. Winner take all. The ladies are game.
Match 8: Dustin Rhodes v. Meng
Dustin is giving all he can but Meng is too much as he unloads on him. Dustin is wallowing in the corner. Here comes JJ with the guitar. Meng runs at him and is backdropped over the top rope. Dustin has JJ and sets him up for a nut shot in the corner and the Outsiders run in and take out Dustin. Meng is back in and he gets a guitar broken over his head and Nash finishes him with a big boot. Dustin is powerbombed.
** Angle advancement.
Russo asks Larry why Thunder is so bad. Larry responds that it sucks because they have none of the big guys on the show. Only “B” team (I would say no wrestling). Russo wants to make Thunder special again and all the big guns will appear. Russo claims all the announcers stink and will be replaced. Larry counters that they are the only thing that makes sense! Larry continues that he does not need the job and then makes fun of Hennig for barely beating a woman and being a has been. Curt does not take kindly to that and so Russo books a match. If Larry wins then I think Russohas to leave or something….
Match 9: Curt Hennig v. Larry Zybsyzko
Larry takes him down and slams him. He works him over in the corner but Hennig fights back and the ref is down. Now Hennig tears into him. He works him over for a bit…PTB do leave if Larry wins. Larry starts to mount a comeback. Ref is still out, so Vincent runs in and belts Larry. They work him over but Arn with a ball bat comes down and takes out both Curt and Vincent and Larry wins. CC comes down and shows the ref the footage of AA and the bat. The decision is reversed so AA and Larry clear them out of the ring.
** Not bad. Angle advancement.
They show Benoit and then the Outsiders with a ladder walking in the back.
They stick an apple in Marinara’s mouth.
Strip poker. Bald guy is naked! They decide to leave.
Match 10: Chris Benoit v. Kevin Nash
Hall is at the announce table. Benoit tees off on Nash. He punches him down into the canvas and then works over the leg and knee. He jumps on the knee a few times but Nash kicks him onto the floor and Benoit bounces off the railing. Nash heads after him and runs him into the steel steps. Nash hammers him and then brings him back into the ring and gets two after a sideslam. Benoit counters and takes him down and wrenches on the leg. Nash kicks him off again. Nash is up and pulls him up but Benoit chops him and then drives him into the corner where he mounts and pounds him. Nash shoves him off and Benoit charges right into a big boot and then a lariat. Nash is prepping for the powerbomb but Benoit fights him off and takes him down and puts him in the Crossface. Hall takes the ladder and wipes out the ref. Hall is on the apron and Benoit releases the hold and beats up Hall. He then takes the ladder and knocks out Nash. He climbs the ladder. Hall is in the ring and so Benoit leaps on top of him but Nash and Hall take him out. Powerbomb! Hall pulls up Benoit and it is Edge time on top of a ladder but Benoit tries to escape and Sid runs down and pulls him free.
*** I actually enjoyed this. Benoit looked strong.
Mamalukes are not happy…..
Sting yells about Luger and tells the Outsiders to bring it.
Mamalukes are in the ring. They are sick of Lash and Disco. The bald guy calls them out and challenges them. Cue Disco’s music Here comes two Nitro Girls instead. Vito or Bull tells them that they are ugly and did not want to sleep with them! Disco and Lash blindside the Mamalukes but now Marinara runs out and has a pipe and takes them out. Some fans chant boring but the segment is ending with Disco and Lash being carried out.
Maestro is still looking for Symphony.
Lash and Disco are in the trunk and the car drives off, not with the Mamalukes driving!
Match 11: Jerry Flynn v. Maestro
Maestro is still screaming and finds himself in the Block. Maestro tries to fight but is destroyed and gets his head kicked off….
NR.
Nic Patrick is banning people from ringside as he wants to bring back order to WCW. Well, with a legal reason they can go to ringside. This means shenanigans.
Liz gives paperwork to Sting and he is all happy. Clearly Liz will betray him.
Match 12: Scott Hall (c) v. Sting for WCW US Title
Liz has a legal right to be at ringside because she is the manager. Sting starts strong with some punches and an inverted atomic drop. After a clothesline he rolls to the floor and gets his head bashed into the announce table. Nash chokes him out from behind and the ref ousts him. Hall pounds him and then applies an abstretch. Sting escapes but is dropped and Hall gets two. Sleeper by Hall. Sting fights to his feet and back suplexes him. Hall recovers first and gets two. Both are up and Sting blocks some blows and connects with some of his own. Everytime Sting mounts and pounds him Hall pushes him off. The third attempt he hits all ten punches. Sting winds up and drops him with a mighty forearm. Sting takes his time and gets two. Hall rakes the face and hits the fall away but Liz maces him. Stinger Splash! A whip and another one. Sting pushes him down with ease and it is deathlock time. Hall taps.
Not for the title…..**1/2 Not necessary for the shenanigans but Sting did not see it, so I guess it works.
David is dragging Symphony along in the back.
DDP has arrived….He is here?
David Flair comes out with Symphony. David screams that Maestro has ten seconds to claim his prize and he screams at Symphony to shut up. Cue DDP instead! He comes out Diamond Cuts Flair….This is the PPV match right here. He has heard rumors that DDP wanted out of his contract with WCW and even wanted to go to the WWF. Those are rumors and you leave with you brought you to the dance. Loyalty, and some close to him have not been loyal and so he is looking out for himself and it is time to get Sid out here.
Match 13: DDP v. Sid Vicious
Sid does not mess around and beats DDP down. But DDP finally counters with a jawbreaker and then a swinging neckbreaker. He barely gets two. DDP goes up top and nails Sid. He goes for the DC but is shoved into the ref. Powerbomb by Sid! Here comes Nash and Hall and they pummel Sid. Benoit comes down to try and make the save but he is swarmed. Here comes JJ and now Bret Hart and the brawl continues. Finally security comes down and tries to restore some sort of order. Nick Patrick is finally up and he has the mic. He is done and they might as well make the main event a Lumberjack Match as they are done…..
*1/2 Wow, DDP is fairly useless. He did not get much crowd support either.
Goldberg jogs out and I am not sure if it is a match as they are brawling. CC is in there too. Goldberg clears everyone out. Here comes Piper! Piper will be the ref tonight and he is arranging Lumberjacks. JJ wants none of it and tries to back up. Some Packers arrive. Fuckers! Kidding….They are blocking the exit. Dustin Rhodes rolls him back into the ring.
Match 14: Goldberg v. Jeff Jarrett
Goldberg slams him and gets two. Now he punches him in the head a couple of times and gets two more. Goldberg powerslams him and gets two. JJ rolls to the floor but is punched a few times by the Lumberjacks and rolled back in. He is knocked back out and hammered some more. Goldberg just heads to the floor and goes after Hall! Now everyone is going at it. Back in the ring JJ rings his bell with a few chair shots to the head and body and he gets two. He whips Goldberg into the ropes and knees him in the gut. JJ goes up top and hits the crossbody and JJ gets two. JJ decks him and then applies a sleeper. Goldberg chants echo as the falls to a knee and now he goes down. Goldberg is up and back suplexes out and both are down. Fans count…..They are up and collide. Fans count along again. Nash decks Goldberg but he recovers and rolls up JJ for two and now a thrust kick. He sets up the spear but Nash grabs his leg and JJ elbows him to the floor and now the heels pounce. Here comes Sid who evens the odds. Bret has the title belt and blasts JJ with it and Goldberg spears him right after as he was toppling! Jackhammer and match!
*** I thought that was pretty good.
***1/2 Great final hour. I loved the final two matches and how it segued into a brawl at the end. They covered most of the bases here, and even had some wrestling, not a lot but it was not too bad. Liger got his belt back….Sting, Hart and Goldberg all had decent matches as did Benoit. I am really digging JJ. I think he is doing a great job. He is accused of being a perennial midcarder but that does not mean he cannot perform or have charisma. I have been hard on JJ as evidenced by past writings but I think he is great. Not championship material but close. Dustin Rhodes is pretty damn good too. Nice to see DDP again though he did not do anything. David Flair is getting a bit old. Like I said earlier, about FA and the Revolution: They had a good feud going and it went south and went south fast. There will be too many stipulations for the PPV: Crowbar on a Pole, Powerbomb match…..Russo and his overbooking. That occurred tonight too but nothing outrageous, and the hot crowd really helped. Overall a pretty good show, despite the poker and refs leaving a la WWF….