Written by: Matt Peddycord
December 17, 2014
Los Angeles, CA
Your hosts are Matt Striker and Brother Vampiro.
Ten different wrestlers are in the ring to kick off the show. Nobody seems to know why though, so Dario Cueto comes out to explain. He’s wearing dark sunglasses to hide his black eye Johnny Mundo gave him last week. The key is back around his neck. Tonight, Cueto promises will be a history-making night. He says that tonight will not be about a briefcase full of money, but something worth more than money. He’s very vague about what exactly. Oh yeah, Danny Trejo is here again. Anywho, ring the bell.
Prince Puma vs. Fenix vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Drago vs. Super Fly vs. El Mariachi Loco vs. King Cuerno vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Big Ryck
This is a ten-way match. First pinfall wins. Everyone concentrates on Big Ryck to start. There’s some cute spots with Ryck and Sagrada. Besides that, Drago and Cuerno go at it and spill out to the floor. Once Big Ryck is out of the way, Sagrada is shown center stage with Pentagon for a satellite headscissors. Over to the apron they go, Pentagon monkey flips Sagrada onto Cuerno. Super Fly takes a dive on some folks. Son of Havoc teases one to piss off the crowd. Puma appears with his ribs taped from the wounds suffered in last week’s ladder match. It doesn’t seem to stop him from doing his typical moves though. He and Havoc trade headscissors. Puma then somersault planchas onto Super Fly and Pentagon. Big Ryck goes back to throwing dudes around. Fenix and Puma though take him out for their little dream match showdown. They go corner to corner with strikes. Fenix lands a nasty superkick on Puma. Tower of Doom spot causes Fenix to take a Shooting Star Press from Havoc for 1-2-NO! Drago tries to get the quick pinfall on Super Fly, but Cuerno breaks it up and delivers the THRILL OF THE HUNT. Mariachi breaks up the pin and superkicks Cuerno. Pentagon kicks Mariachi in the head to stop the three-count. RUNNING PACKAGE PILEDRIVER from Pentagon to Mariachi! In comes Sagrada to make the save. He sunset flip powerbombs Pentagon for 1-2-NO! Puma lifts Sagrada up on his shoulders and then launches him into the air to punt him like a football. AWESOME. Big Ryck returns. He’s forced out again by the other nine guys. Cuerno wipes out Drago with an incredible tope suicida. More flying around by everybody but Ryck. Son of Havoc gives a pile of dudes the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP and fist bumps Trejo. In the ring, Big Ryck receives the 630 SENTON from Puma. He’s done. Fenix grabs Puma for a tornado DDT, but only gets two. RIKISHI DRIVER to Puma gets the win for Fenix. (10:49) Such a fun spot fest with an incredible atmosphere. This is the type of action I think of when I imagine lucha libre. Just everybody getting their moments to shine. They even managed to remember the rivalry between Drago and Cuerno even with all this going on. ***½
CAGE: Coming soon to Lucha Underground.
In the back, Konnan chastises Prince Puma for missing a primo opportunity. Next time that happens, Konnan will be gone.
Boyle Heights Battle Royal: Chavo Guerrero vs. Cortez Castro vs. Mr. Cisco vs. Bael vs. Johnny Mundo vs. Sexy Star vs. Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Ricky Mandel vs. Famous B vs. Mil Muertes
Bael is B-Boy who we saw debut last week at the end of the ladder match. Sexy Star kicks Chavo’s rear end into the ring to *kick* things off. Har har. The hot Asian chick appears again and watches on from the mezzanine. Famous B is the first to go as he gets sent out by Escarlata. When Big Ryck’s Crew can’t get rid of Escarlata, they eliminate Mandel instead. Escarlata walks the ropes with a hold of Mundo, but Muertes punches Mundo and then SPEARS Escarlata. Goodbye, Pimpinela. The focus returns to Sexy Star and Chavo. She makes the mistake of trying a flying body press and gets tossed by Chavo. The Crew gang up on Mundo. He’s nearly eliminated and uses his feet to hold onto the ropes. VINTAGE MUNDO! The Crew fail to rid the ring of Mundo as Cortez gets flipped out to the floor. Chavo eliminates Cisco and Muertes runs down Bael with a shoulder tackle before dumping him out. We’re down to three: Mil Muertes, Chavo Guerrero Jr., and Johnny Mundo. It turns into a brief triple-threat as Chavo and Mundo beat down Muertes so they can battle it out. Muertes grabs Chavo from behind while Mundo is on the apron. Mundo sunset flips Muertes causing Chavo to take a German suplex on his neck. Vamp says Muertes just went All Japan on Chavo. Catrina trips up Mundo on the apron, but he manages to fire back on Muertes with a springboard dropkick. Mundo and Chavo head to the corner where Chavo gets dropped on the top rope. Flying Chuck by Mundo sends Chavo back to the locker room. Muertes and Mundo meet in the middle of the ring to really build this thing. They trade shots on each other, but Muertes hits a huge SPEAR. Mundo still refuses to be eliminated though. He nails Muertes with a dropkick and the running knee to the face. They fight over on the apron, but Mundo slides back in under Mil’s legs and hits a Pele Kick. END OF THE WORLD hits knees and Muertes clotheslines out Mundo for the win. (11:00) YES. Mil Muertes continues his undefeated streak. Another fun match that is a fine example of lucha libre. ***¼
Fenix meets Mil Muertes in the ring for a staredown. Dario Cueto comes out and reveals to us the something that is worth more than money: the Lucha Underground championship. He then mentions a match idea he has for the first episode of Lucha Underground in 2015 called Aztec Warfare. The winner of that match will be crowned champion. As for tonight, he pits Muertes and Fenix against each other. The winner enters the Aztec Warfare last giving him the greatest odds to win the match and become the Lucha Underground champion. The loser of this match enters the Aztec Warfare first, which means he will have outlast nineteen other people to win. NOW LET’S DO IT.
Aztec Warfare: Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) vs. Fenix
Striker explains that Aztec Warfare is essentially a gauntlet match. Unlike Muertes, Fenix has a little bit of an advantage since he’s had time to rest. Fenix lands a couple moves off the top rope and busts out a corkscrew plancha. Back inside, Muertes cuts him off with a SPEAR. Catrina snaps Fenix’s neck off the ropes because hey, she can do whatever she wants. Implant DDT gets two. Running Powerslam gets a nearfall as well. Fenix fires back with the Handspring Enziguri. He tries a hurracanrana, but Muertes blocks with a powerbomb. Another comeback by Fenix includes that durn Handspring Cutter. Fenix walks the ropes, but jumps down into a right hand by Muertes. FLATLINER ends Fenix as Muertes secures that #20 spot in Aztec Warfare. (5:47) I’m loving it. Fenix gets the lick of death. Muertes grabs Catrina by the hair and plants a big wet (sweaty) kiss on her to close the show. In that moment, don’t we all wish we were Mil Muertes. **
Before we go, Dario Cueto talks about the significance of the Lucha Underground championship as he greedily holds it in his hands. He tells whoever is there off camera that he will not let them touch it because he knows how they like to destroy pretty things. WHO WAS HE TALKING TO? Cliffhanger!!!
And with that, we are outta here.
NEXT WEEK (1/7/15): AZTEC WARFARE, yo!