Total Non-Stop Action presents Impact
Date: 7/3/2008
From: Orlando, FL
Matches:
1.) Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley defeated James Storm & Robert Roode
2.) Moose defeated Roxxi in a Knockout Bimbo Brawl
3.) Rey Bucanero defeated Alex Koslov in the World X Cup
4.) Milano Collection AT defeated Curry Man in the World X Cup
5.) Taylor defeated Raisha Saeed
6.) TNA World Champion Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash defeated James Storm & Robert Roode
Angle Developments/Notes:
1.) AJ Styles and Karen Angle make their way down to the ring to kickoff the program. Styles says that Kurt went too far last week. If Kurt wants to declare war then he’s got it. Styles says that Karen shouldn’t have to come to work afraid especially because of Kurt. Styles claims it will end tonight and calls out Kurt. However, instead of Kurt, Team 3D comes out to confront Styles. Brother Ray says Styles has a lot of nerve to come out here talking crap about Kurt. Ray says that Kurt isn’t there because he’s out scoring some really hot chicks. Ray says Styles isn’t smart enough to see what the problem is and claims that Karen is the problem and is nothing more than a soap opera bimbo. Ray says Styles has been sleeping with another man’s wife. Styles tells Ray that he hasn’t forgotten what they’ve done to him. Styles tells Ray that payback is a bitch. Ray tells Styles that he’s heard the saying and it’s been around 30-years wondering if the redneck Styles has only learned it recently. Ray calls Karen a whore and is decked by Styles. Styles fights off Team 3D with strikes. Styles clotheslines Devon in the corner and drops Ray. However, Team 3D get control on Styles as Devon sends Styles to the floor. Styles fights back on the floor, but Ray strikes Styles and sends Styles into the ring steps. Devon pummels Styles over the ring steps. Devon accidentally punches Ray and Styles delivers a flurry of strikes to Ray and Devon. Ray decks Styles from behind to regain control. Team 3D hit an elevated reverse neckbreaker. Rhino slides into the ring with a chair to save Styles from a table. Rhino has a microphone and tells Team 3D they failed to take him out. Rhino says that Christian Cage will be back at Victory Road to kick Team 3D’s ass. Rhino wants a six man tag match at Victory Road. Rhino makes it a Full Metal Mayhem match. Devon accepts the challenge. (The stipulation makes a ton of sense and should be a ton of fun.)
2.) Footage of Kurt Angle going on blind dates is shown. Angle says the first date is at the gym. The second one is a cocktail date and the final date is a nice dinner. Jeremy Borash is filming the dates. Kurt goes to the rock wall and the woman isn’t his first guess. Instead, the woman is a plus-sized woman with pigtails. Kurt looks at the camera and says “the joke is on me, huh?”
3.) A video package promoting the lumberjack strap match between Beer Money Inc. & LAX. There are several fan video submissions saying why they hate the duo.
4.) TNA Tag Team Champions LAX, Hector Guerrero and Salinas are live via satellite in Houston, TX. Guerrero says they are waiting for Victory Road and the fans revenge match with Beer Money Inc. Guerrero says they are going to beat them down like a bunch of dogs, including Jacqueline. Guerrero promises they will do their best.
5.) Beer Money Inc. come out to cut a promo as LAX remain via satellite. Storm claims he can’t understand what Guerrero is even saying and says they are going to be the next tag champions. Storm calls out Motor City Machine Guns for their match.
6.) Storm and Shelley kickoff the tag match with Shelley delivering a spinning heel kick. Shelley tags in Sabin, who comes off the top to deliver an axe handle. Storm eye rakes Sabin, but Sabin drop toe holds Roode. Shelley comes off the top with an axe handle. Sabin leaps over Shelley to axe handle Roode. Shelley knee drops Roode for a two count. Shelley scoop slams Roode and goes to the apron to hit a slingshot elbow drop. Sabin senton splashes Roode and dropkicks Storm off the apron. Sabin elbow splashes Roode in the corner. Storm leg sweeps Sabin on the middle rope and Roode clotheslines Sabin over the back. Storm strikes Sabin into the corner. Storm continues with strikes before tagging in Roode. Sabin kicks Roode and backdrops Storm to the apron. Storm kicks Sabin and Roode dropkicks Sabin for a two count. Roode tries for a suplex, but Sabin fights free. Sabin avoids a suplex by Storm and kicks free. Shelley tags in and cleans house with strikes. Sabin drops Roode over the top rope from the apron and Shelley kicks Roode. Shelley tries for Slice Bread, but Storm comes over and hits a backstabber. Sabin spikes Roode with a tornado DDT, but Storm clotheslines Sabin. Storm gets beer spat into his face by Jacqueline and Shelley is able to get a rollup to pickup the win! After the match, Beer Money attacks Sabin and Shelley. Sabin and Shelley are handcuffed in opposite corners. Sabin and Shelley are whipped with belts. A few referees try to get involved, but they are ran off. They also attack security. Don West gets whipped with the straps, too. Jacqueline grabs Dave Penzer and Penzer is whipped in the ring. Jim Cornette comes out and says he’ll fire them if they whip Penzer one more time. Cornette thinks they have lost their mind. Cornette says he’s going to find two of the most disgruntled wrestlers and they’ll fight them tonight. (**1/2. It’s a solid match and the aftermath helped Beer Money despite the loss. I like the Guns picking up the win even if the heels cost themselves the match.)
7.) Back to Kurt Angle’s blind date saga. Angle can’t believe the fat chick in the gym. Angle says he would have kicked her ass if she wasn’t a woman. A second woman named Melissa joins Angle at the table. Kurt tells Melissa what he’s going through and Borash focuses on the chest hair on the woman. Borash tells Kurt that Melissa is a man. Kurt grabs Melissa and says to tell Brother Ray he’s going to kick his ass. Kurt was wearing dark glasses that caused him to not see the chest hair.
8.) Moose knocks Roxxi off the apron to kickoff the match. Moose choked Roxxi with a hockey stick, but Roxxi gets into the ring and delivers a few strikes. Moose hits a side Russian leg sweep with the hockey stick and sends Roxxi to the floor. Moose sends Roxxi into the railing and apron. Moose rams Roxxi face first onto the ring steps. Moose tries to use the shopping cart, but the cart flips over. Roxxi sends Moose into the cart. Roxxi dropkicks the cart as Moose is stuck inside the cart. Moose hits Roxxi with a few cooking sheet strikes. Moose rolls Roxxi into the ring, but is met with several kicks to the chest. Roxxi grabs a street sign and whacks Moose over the head. Roxxi whacks Moose over the back with a hockey stick. Roxxi throws a chair at Moose and delivers a kick followed by another chair shot for a two count. Roxxi wedges a chair in the corner and Moose avoids being sent into the chair. Roxxi misses a spear hitting the chair head first. Moose spikes Roxxi with a DDT on the street sign to win the match. Roxxi is busted open as a result of the DDT. (***. Moose is a great addition to the Knockouts division. Her hardcore nature is such a different approach compared to all the other women that it’s a refreshing viewing experience. I thought this was a fun hardcore brawl.)
9.) Backstage, Jim Cornette is talking with Kevin Nash. Cornette talks to Nash about Roode and Storm and recruits Nash to compete in a tag match. Cornette suggests a money bonus for Nash. Nash tells Cornette he’ll help him out, but Cornette will owe him big time. Nash asks who is partner is going to be. Cornette tells Nash it is TNA World Champion Samoa Joe. Cornette hasn’t told Joe yet. Nash tells Cornette there’s no problem and only opportunities.
10.) Backstage, Jim Cornette chats with TNA World Champion Samoa Joe. Cornette says he came to Joe first because he knows that Joe can help regarding Storm and Roode. Cornette asks if Joe would compete in a tag match. Joe accepts the tag match and asks who is partner is going to be. Cornette doesn’t even say the name and Joe tells he’s done with Nash and doesn’t trust Nash at all. Cornette thinks Nash has been good for Joe. Cornette thinks Joe being on alert is a good thing. Cornette still thinks Nash has been good for Joe. Cornette tells Joe that he has to do it since he’s management. Joe tells Cornette that whatever happens in the ring he’s responsible for it.
11.) A video package highlighting the relationship between TNA World Champion Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash is shown.
12.) Back to the third date that Kurt Angle is on. The woman leaves the dinner for a moment as soon as they go to the date. Kurt seems to be talking about himself quite a bit. The woman leaves the table three times within a half hour. Kurt thinks that she’s got an eating disorder and decides to call her out on it. Kurt confronts her about it. She says she has a medical condition involving her colon. Kurt laughs at her for pooping her pants. She leaves the date. Kurt makes several poop jokes. Borash says Brother Ray got Kurt three times. Kurt says he’s going to kill Brother Ray tonight.
13.) Bucanero and Kozlov avoid each other at the start of match until Bucanero hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker and a hip toss. Bucanero sends Kozlov to the floor, but Kozlov manages to hit a somersault dive to the floor to take Bucanero out. Kozlov hits a springboard crossbody and kicks Bucanero on the back of the head for a two count. Bucanero counters a wheelbarrow attempt by dropping Kozlov on his head. Bucanero hits a twisting senton and wins the match. (*1/2. It was incredibly short as you can tell, but they had a fast pace and did enough to be kind of enjoyable.)
14.) Jeremy Borash meets up with Kurt Angle backstage. Borash tells Angle what happened earlier. Angle is pissed that Brother Ray put him through three horrible dates. Angle is going to kick Ray’s ass tonight.
15.) Kurt Angle makes his way out to the ring to cut a promo. Kurt asks if Brother Ray thinks this is funny and his love life is a joke. Angle insults the three woman he went on dates with and he isn’t laughing. Angle calls out Brother Ray to fight him. Team 3D make their way out to the ring and Ray seems to be trying to downplay the issues. Ray tells Angle to calm down and says they are all friends. Ray wants to talk about this backstage. Ray tells Angle about the match Devon has accepted for Victory Road. Ray notes the fans can decide the kind of match they have. Ray doesn’t think Christian Cage is going to even make it to the PPV. Ray thinks they have the odds in their favor. Angle doesn’t want to talk with Ray and asks if Ray thinks he’s a joke. Ray tells Angle that he’s not a joke and puts over Angle as a legit pro wrestler who is a gold medalist. Ray would never make a joke out of Angle. Ray knows that he said he had the black book at home with all the hot women in there. However, Ray reveals he lost the book of contacts. Ray used Devon’s little black book instead and says they know what kind of sick crap Devon is into. Ray picked up a girl last night and she’s an eleven. Ray saved the woman for Kurt. Ray calls for Sandy to come out to the ring. Sandy comes out and she’s an attractive blond. Angle checks out Sandy and asks if she wants to go for a ride on his train. Angle asks what she offers a champion like himself. Sandy says she’s loving, likes to have fun and is loyal. Angle tells Sandy that no woman is loyal and they are all full of shit. Angle thinks she’d cheat on him if she could. Sandy says “screw you” and gets a bit emotional in the corner. Angle apologizes for losing his temper. Angle would never touch a woman, but knows a couple of people that would and that brings out the Beautiful People. Angelina Love and Velvet Sky enter the ring and corner Sandy. They put a brown paper bag over Sandy’s head to embarrass her. Karen Angle runs into the ring and attacks Angelina Love. Karen shoves Velvet Sky and confronts Kurt. Karen slaps Kurt across the face. Karen is cornered by the heels and Brother Ray threatens Karen. AJ Styles, Rhino, Gail Kim and ODB run into the ring to make the save and there’s a brawl. (A bit long, but a decent segment.)
16.) Backstage, Jeremy Borash meets up with Booker T in his locker room. Borash asks Booker T about the tag match tonight. Booker thinks it is a beautiful thing that Joe and Nash are forced to team tonight. Booker thinks that Nash has Joe wrapped around his finger and he’s been forgotten. Booker has it all in the palm of his hand except he doesn’t have the TNA World Championship. Booker promises he’ll have that too.
17.) TNA Roughcut focusing on Matt Morgan is aired. Morgan talks about learning how to wrestle and going to Ohio Valley Wrestling where he met Jim Cornette. Cornette puts over Morgan’s size and ability to learn. Morgan recalls being called up to Smackdown a bit early. Morgan talks about his first match on Smackdown that was a tag match that involved Kurt Angle. Angle thinks WWE used Morgan the bad way and gave him a stuttering gimmick. Morgan will never forget that experience as he continues to grow.
18.) Curry jabs Milano several times to start the match followed by a dropkick for a two count. Curry is met with a forearm strike and Milano gets a two count with a sunset flip. Milano rolls around the ring and gets another near fall. Curry staggers around the ring and is met with a right hand. Milano heads to the top rope, but Curry slams Milano to the mat. Curry forearms Milano several times. Curry backdrops Milano coming off the ropes. Curry is sent into the corner and avoids a splash. Curry splashes Milano over the middle rope. Curry climbs to the top rope and misses a flying attack. Milano avoids a clothesline and Curry hits a clothesline for a two count. Milano kicks Curry on the side of the head. Milano superkicks Curry for a two count. Curry rolls to the apron to regroup. Milano tries for a suplex, but Curry rams Milano into the corner and hits a top rope crossbody for a near fall. Curry tries for the Spice Rack, but Milano breaks free and low blows Curry after sending Curry into the referee. Milano hits a springboard moonsault to win the match. (*1/2. Not as good as the shorter match earlier in the show. This was just kinda there for me.)
19.) Backstage, Lauren interviews Beer Money. Roode can’t believe they had to do this to get attention. Roode says LAX has only experienced a taste of what they’ll experience in Houston at Victory Road. Storm gives Roode a Beer money t-shirt. Storm says that the Guns got in the way of a beer run and they got smacked. Storm suggests they’ll have to get bigger straps for Victory Road. Storm threatens to beat down LAX’s people if they get in the ring at Victory Road.
20.) Taylor and Saeed go right after each other trading right hands. Saeed tries for a backbreaker, but Taylor arm drags Saeed and keeps arm control. Saeed slaps Taylor into the ropes. Saeed is arm dragged by Taylor and met with forearms in the corner. Taylor tries for a crossbody, but is met with a kick to the midsection in midair. Awesome Kong clotheslines Taylor on the floor. Saeed sends Taylor into the ring steps shoulder first. Saeed stomps Taylor on the mat several times. Saeed plants Taylor with a back suplex for a two count. Saeed scoop slams Taylor and climbs to the top rope missing a moonsault. Taylor forearms Saeed followed by a clothesline. Taylor head scissors Saeed for a near fall. Saeed forearms Taylor, but Taylor breaks free from a slam and kicks Saeed several times. Taylor covers, but Kong pulls the referee out of the ring. Taylor baseball slides Kong and hits a German suplex on Saeed to pickup the win. (*. Taylor is obviously a regular in TNA since she’s got music and everything. Kong trying to prevent her from winning shows that she has some concern. I like the booking.)
21.) A video package highlighting the issues between Angelina Love and Gail Kim. Love denies being jealous of Gail Kim.
22.) Nash and Roode kickoff the main event with Nash backing Roode into a corner. Roode eye rakes Nash and delivers shoulder rams and right hands in the corner. Roode chokes Nash for a moment. Nash big boots Roode coming off the ropes. Nash takes out Storm and side slams Roode for a two count. Nash elbow strikes Roode in the corner a couple of times. Joe forces himself into the match and mocks Nash by doing an elbow strike. Roode knee lifts Joe and tags in Storm. Joe jabs Storm several times, but is stopped by Storm. Storm misses a clothesline and Joe delivers a running high knee. Joe elbows Storm followed by a twisting kick in the corner. Beer Money regroup on the floor as the show goes to commercial.
Roode works over Joe in the corner with strikes. Roode snapmares Joe and keeps a sleeper on Joe to maintain the advantage. Joe elbows free and strikes Roode several times. Roode elbows Joe coming off the ropes and tags in Storm. Roode clotheslines Joe in the corner and delivers a rolling neck snap. Storm gets a two count after a leg drop. Joe powerslams Storm. Storm clotheslines Joe and punches Nash on the apron. Nash double clotheslines Beer Money and drops Roode over the top turnbuckle. Nash and Storm go to the floor. Roode gets handcuffs from Jacqueline. Joe ducks a wild shot and locks in a choke, but Roode low blows Joe. Roode tries for the Payoff, but Joe counters with a front suplex. Joe sits Roode on the top turnbuckle and kicks Roode. Joe hits the Muscle Buster to pin Roode for the win. (*1/2. I would have loved Beer Money to win this match to get over as a top team in TNA. Nash losing wouldn’t have hurt him too much and could have given Joe fuel against his mentor.) After the match, Sting’s music hits. Sting is seen in the rafters looking on as the show ends.
Final Thoughts:
I’d say this is an average show, but leaning towards giving a thumbs up. There wasn’t much in the form of dragging along, so that’s good. The Kurt Angle blind date stuff was mildly entertaining. Victory Road is shaping up well with the Full Metal Mayhem and LAX/Beer Money feuds being the main drawing points. Booker/Joe comes across secondary to the issues between Joe and Nash, which is a bit baffling when Booker is getting the title shot on PPV.
Thanks for reading.