Total Non-Stop Action presents Impact
Date: 1/29/2009
From: Orlando, FL
Matches:
1.) TNA Knockouts Champion Awesome Kong, & The Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Rhaka Khan & Sojournor Bolt) defeated ODB in a handicap match
2.) TNA Legends Champion Booker T defeated Rudy Charles & Andrew Thomas in a handicap match
3.) Matt Morgan defeated Petey Williams
4.) Team 3D defeated TNA World Champion Sting by disqualification in a handicap match
5.) Abyss defeated Scott Steiner by disqualification in a weapons match
6.) Kurt Angle defeated LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) in a handicap match
Angle Developments/Notes:
1.) A message brought by Main Event Mafia opens the show in the form of a video package. Each member provides a voiceover putting themselves over and the entertainment they’ve provided. MEM consider The Frontline as a threat to their message. It’s important to note that TNA World Champion Sting did not do a voiceover.
2.) Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Kurt Angle, who is at a desk with a monitor. Angle is in his new office when Jim Cornette enters and tells Angle to leave Jarrett’s office and nobody will know about it. Angle asks who is going to stop them because Foley isn’t there and Jarrett is at home licking his injuries. Cornette notes he’s been told to warn Angle, but Angle doesn’t care. Angle tells security to get Cornette out of here, but Cornette decides to sit on a couch. Angle gets on his headset to make sure everyone is in their locations. Angle appears to be directing the show tonight.
3.) Booker T and Kevin Nash are on commentary known as Black Snow and Chet Lemon, respectively. They rundown the card for Impact tonight.
4.) Backstage, Sharmell interviews ODB. Sharmell calls ODB an obnoxious dumb bimbo, but ODB tells Sharmell that she’d be all over her if it wasn’t for the security next to her. Sharmell calms down the security guy. ODB knows exactly what she’s walking into tonight and says she’s drunk and horny before spanking Sharmell. Sharmell notes that Taylor Wilde and Roxxi have been escorted out of the building. ODB only needs her nuts and her breasts to fight off her opponents.
5.) Scott Steiner is doing ring announcing for the program.
6.) ODB starts with Bolt, but is rammed into the corner and Bolt delivers several strikes. ODB comes back with an inside cradle for a one count. ODB decks Bolt with a clothesline. ODB shoves Bolt through the ropes to the floor. ODB avoids a kick by Khan and delivers several chops. ODB and Khan trade strikes with Khan getting the advantage. Khan misses a knee strike in the corner and is knocked to the floor. Saeed attacks from behind and strikes ODB several times. Saeed sends ODB into the corner and delivers a running forearm strike. ODB battles back with strikes and a clothesline to drop Saeed to the mat. ODB clotheslines Saeed over the top to the floor. ODB strikes Kong several times. ODB backs Kong into a corner and continues with strikes. Bolt, Saeed and Khan return to the ring, but are taken out by a crossbody from ODB. ODB clotheslines Saeed, Bolt and Khan. Kong cuts off ODB with a strike and stomps ODB on the mat. ODB is worked over by all four women. Kong hits the Implant Buster to pin ODB. (*. This kind of went exactly as you’d expect it to go. ODB fought off everyone, but Kong is too dominant.)
7.) Backstage, Kurt Angle is thrilled with what’s going on so far on the program. Angle tells security to make sure Cornette stays quiet. Borash tries to talk some sense into Angle, but Angle tells Borash to screw off and the whole point is to hurt people. Angle evened things out by having Sting in a handicap match with Team 3D tonight. Borash reveals that Mick Foley is on his way and has backup. That cracks up Angle and Angle thinks it would be homeless guys and a dirty sock. Angle says Borash has been acting funny ever since Karen left. Borash denies that and says it’s bros before hoes. Angle tells Borash to be useful and gives Borash some shirts to make them some money.
8.) Backstage, Sharmell is with Andrew Thomas, Rudy Charles and Earl Hebner. Sharmell asks what Thomas and Charles are going to do tonight after Booker T destroys them. Thomas didn’t sign up for this and has a family to worry about. Hebner walks off when Sharmell blames Hebner for this. Charles says he has a reputation and notes he’s a successful amateur wrestler. Charles tells Thomas to relax and follow his lead.
9.) Booker starts the match with Charles as Thomas looks worried on the apron. Booker decks Charles right at the start and slaps Charles to the mat. Booker nails Charles with a spin kick. Booker kicks Charles in the midsection and delivers a scissors kick. Booker forces Thomas to tag into the match. Thomas is quickly met with a kick to the midsection and a short arm clothesline. Booker chops Thomas in the corner several times. Booker plants Thomas with the Book End and wins the match. (*. It kind of dragged along here, but you get the point of what they’re trying to do. Booker could have accomplished the same thing in about a minute and not three minutes. Also, this means Hebner is the only referee not injured, aside from Shane.) After the match, Shane comes out and attacks Booker to save Hebner. Shane is wearing regular clothing and not a referee shirt. Booker knee lifts Shane and hits a scissors kick. Well, Shane is probably out of commission for refereeing, as well now.
10.) Backstage, Kurt Angle is laughing enjoying what he’s seen. Angle wants to see if they can get a fan to show her breasts in the audience. TNA World Champion Sting enters the room and says he knows what Angle is up to. Angle reminds Sting he’s the champ and should be able to beat two people. Sting tells Angle that in two weeks they’re in a match with Team 3D and asks if Angle wants Sting as a friend or foe.
11.) Backstage, Sharmell interviews Matt Morgan. Sharmell says Morgan may have the toughest match of his career against Petey Williams tonight. Sharmell notes Williams will have one arm tied behind his back. Morgan says this year has been a challenging, but rewarding year already. Morgan notes he’s on American Gladiators and had his DNA sent to the space station. Morgan fakes outrage towards the MEM for this match. Morgan has no sympathy for any man and Williams can ask Abyss. Morgan wants Abyss to watch the match and see what he’s going to get at Against All Odds.
12.) As noted, Petey Williams has one arm tied behind his back for the next bout. Petey is still dressing as Scott Steiner despite the betrayal.
13.) Morgan drops to his knees to taunt Williams. Williams dropkicks a kneeling Morgan and avoids Morgan in the corner. Morgan shoves Williams away, but misses a big boot and lands over the top rope. Morgan shoves Williams away and chases on the floor. Williams stomps Morgan followed by strikes, but is stopped by a choke. Williams stomps on Morgan’s feet to break free. Morgan decks Williams with a clothesline. Morgan backs Williams into a corner and delivers a series of back elbow strikes. Morgan splashes Williams in the corner followed by a side slam for a two count. Morgan tosses Williams with a fallaway slam. Morgan covers, but pulls Williams up at two. Scott Steiner gives Morgan a pointer on the apron. The referee frees Williams while Morgan is distracted. The referee is Slick Johnson. Williams fires up with right hands and a leaping forearm. Williams shoulder rams Morgan from the apron and hit a slingshot Codebreaker. Williams heads to the top rope hitting a missile dropkick and dropkicks Steiner off the apron. Williams stomps Steiner on the floor before getting back in the ring. Morgan finishes Williams off with the Carbon Footprint. (*1/2. I liked the fire that Williams showed once he had his arm freed, but there was never a doubt that Morgan would be going over one way or another.) After the match, Morgan drives Williams to the mat with a slam. Steiner puts the Steiner Recliner on Williams. Eventually, Lethal, Creed and Young enter the ring to help out. Booker T gets in the ring with a microphone to continue commentary. Kevin Nash notes that he’d help, but he has a staph infection in his elbow. MEM leave the Frontline laid out.
14.) IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D make their way out to the ring and stare down Nash and Booker T at the commentary table. Brother Ray can’t believe he’s going to say it, but he feels bad for Sting. Ray says he doesn’t want to fight Sting in the handicap match. Ray notes that Angle has backed Sting into a corner. Ray reminds us that he was thrown into a dumpster seven or eight weeks ago. Ray continues to talk about Sting doing nothing and that’s worse than the beating he suffered. Ray wants to know why Sting continues to lie to himself and the fans. Ray says either himself or Devon will win the TNA World Championship at Against All Odds. A few people in the crowd chanted “We Want Spike” at one point.
15.) Sting and Devon kick off the handicap match. Devon gets wrist lock control on Sting and switches to a headlock. Devon takes Sting down to the mat with a headlock. Devon keeps a headlock on Sting before going back to a wrist lock. Ray enters the match, but technically didn’t tag in legally, but Hebner allows it anyway. Sting and Ray get in each others faces and shove one another. Ray puts a headlock on Sting, but is sent into the ropes and shoulder blocks Sting. Ray runs the ropes, but is met with an elbow by Sting. Sting stomps Ray on the mat, but Ray responds with jabs and a scoop slam and an elbow drop for a two count. Ray rams Sting into the corner before tagging in Devon. Devon strikes Sting over the back and a right hand to stagger the champ against the ropes. Sting comes off the ropes and is met with a forearm causing Sting to bail to the floor. Sting regroups on the floor and appears frustrated. Scott Steiner comes over to give a pointer to Sting, but Ray decks Steiner on the floor. Ray throws Sting into the ring and Steiner decks Ray from behind. Sting gains the advantage from behind as the show goes to commercial.
Sting decks Ray off the apron and keeps control on Devon in the corner. Sting hits a snap suplex on Devon for a two count. Sting sends Devon into the ropes and they collide on stereo clothesline attempts. Ray gets tagged in and jabs Sting several times. Ray clotheslines Sting several times. Ray side slams Sting to the mat for a near fall. Sting kicks Ray, but is caught coming off the ropes and slammed to the mat. Scott Steiner gets on the apron allowing Kurt Angle to come out and yank Devon off the apron. Angle low blows Ray from behind and Sting plants Ray with a DDT. Sting covers, but Ray kicks out at two. Angle can’t believe it on the floor. Devon hammers away on Sting in the corner. Sting hits a Stinger Splash in the corner on Devon. Sting pummels Devon with right hands, but is stopped by Ray. Ray has Sting on his shoulders and Devon leaps of the top to hit a Doomsday Device. Angle slides into the ring to stop the count and the referee throws the match out. After the match, Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle attack Team 3D. Booker T goes under the ring to grab a table. Booker slides the table into the ring as Team 3D continues to be beaten down. However, Foley’s music hits and the Frontline comes out to make the save. Abyss, LAX, and Foley stand tall in the ring. (*1/2. I mean, there wasn’t much here for entertainment and it felt like they were filling time before the aftermath, which had some heat attached to it because Foley is beloved. If Abyss is here, why didn’t he come out during Morgan’s segment?)
16.) Mick Foley and the Frontline have remained in the ring. Foley says the experiment is over with now. Foley talks about Hernandez cashing in his title shot a couple of weeks ago and believes it ended prematurely. Foley announces that Hernandez will get another shot at the title. Foley books Scott Steiner into a weapons match with Abyss tonight. Well, actually Abyss can use weapons, but Steiner can’t. Foley likes handicap matches and he books Kurt Angle into a handicap match against LAX tonight.
17.) Backstage, Jim Cornette is with Mike Tenay, Don West and Lauren. Cornette wants them to do their jobs as best they can now since they control of the show. Cornette has a special announcement for Against All Odds.
18.) At the commentary table, Tenay and West rundown the Against All Odds card thus far. Cornette reveals his announcement for Against All Odds as being a match between TNA Legends Champion Booker T and Shane Sewell. (That’s the major announcement?)
19.) Steiner attacks Abyss as soon as Abyss enters the ring and stomps Abyss in the corner several times. Steiner forearms Abyss on the mat, but Abyss pulls up to his feet. Steiner knee lifts Abyss in the midsection. Steiner holds the ropes and kicks Abyss away. Abyss clotheslines Steiner a couple of times. Abyss splashes Steiner in the corner. Abyss wedges a chair into the corner. Steiner grabs a crutch, but Abyss kicks Steiner. Abyss kicks Steiner towards the announcers table. Abyss rams Steiner face first onto the timekeepers table. Abyss misses a running charge and crashes through the wall as Steiner moved out of the way. The show goes to commercial.
Steiner elbow drops Abyss and does a few pushups. Steiner goes to the floor and grabs a steel chair. Steiner wants to use the chair, but the referee stops Steiner and Abyss punches the chair into Steiner’s face. Abyss grabs a trash can and smashes Steiner over the head for a near fall. Steiner is busted open at this point. Steiner low blows Abyss and sends Abyss into the wedged chair in the corner. Steiner grabs the ring bell and returns to the ring. The referee stops Steiner from using the bell. Abyss chokeslams Steiner onto the trash can for a near fall. Abyss grabs a ring bell, but Steiner whacks Abyss with a steel pipe knocking the bell into Abyss. The referee disqualifies Steiner. After the match, Steiner continues to hit Abyss with chair shots and chokes Abyss in the corner. The lights go out and Suicide enters the ring and attacks Steiner. Suicide rams Steiner into the middle turnbuckle. Steiner bails to the floor to recover. (*. Honestly, this is just frustrating. Why can’t Abyss win a match where he has the clear advantage? He can use weapons, but Steiner can’t and they still don’t let Abyss pickup a clean win in a match that is his speciality? Also, Suicide looked incredibly corny with his offense on Steiner. This was rather bad.)
20.) A vignette promoting Brutus Magnus is shown.
21.) Backstage, Lauren interviews two rodeo competitors. They promote a show that is going to be on Spike TV. TNA Tag Team Champions Beer Money entered the scene to insult the rodeo guys before the camera cutaway from a physical encounter took place.
22.) Angle and Homicide kickoff the handicap main event. Homicide gains advantage on the mat, but Angle quickly counters. Homicide drop toe holds Angle and keeps front face lock on Angle. Homicide puts a wrist lock on Angle, but Angle gets to his feet and backs Homicide into a corner. Angle strikes Homicide in the midsection and continues with right hands against the ropes. Angle sends Homicide into the ropes, but Homicide head scissors Angle to the mat. Homicide plays to the crowd and hits a leaping uppercut. Hernandez enters the match and Angle us sent into the corner where he is met with a double splash. Homicide dropkicks a seated Angle leading to a near fall for Hernandez. Angle kicks Hernandez and delivers an uppercut. Angle kicks Hernandez again, but Hernandez stops Angle with a shoulder block. Hernandez clotheslines Angle over the top to the floor. Hernandez comes off the ropes and dives onto Angle on the floor. The show goes to commercial.
Angle has a sleeper on Homicide, but Homicide elbows Angle to break free. Angle stops Homicide with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Angle tosses Homicide with an overhead suplex. Angle taunts Hernandez before lowering his straps. Angle waits for Homicide, and ends up putting the ankle lock on Homicide. Homicide kicks Angle away. Angle kicks Homicide on the hip, but Homicide counters the Angle Slam with a DDT. Homicide crawls to his corner and tags in Hernandez. The referee didn’t see Hernandez get tagged in and Angle decks Homicide over the back. Angle strikes Homicide in the corner several times. Angle chokes Homicide in the corner. Angle snapmares Homicide and keeps headlock control. Angle keeps a sleeper on Homicide, but doesn’t get a submission. Homicide elbows free from Angle. Homicide hits a dragon screw leg whip, but Angle kicks Homicide away. Angle avoids a cutter and counters a German suplex attempt by locking in the ankle lock. Homicide tries to reach the ropes, but Angle has it locked in pretty well. Angle pulls Homicide back to the middle of the ring. Homicide rolls through and Hernandez hits a slingshot shoulder block from the apron. Hernandez clotheslines Angle followed by a splash in the corner. Hernandez uses his shirt to toss Angle across the ring. Angle ducks a clothesline, but is caught on a crossbody attempt. Hernandez hits a sit down powerbomb. Hernandez signals for the Border Toss. Angle breaks free and sidesteps a charging Hernandez sending him shoulder first into the post. Homicide gets a rollup for a two count. Homicide chops Angle in the corner. Angle misses a clothesline and Homicide plants Angle with a cutter. Homicide looks for the Gringo Killer, but Angle counters with the Angle Slam. Angle covers and pins Homicide clean to win the match. (**. I understand the booking here to make it clear that Angle is an absolute force. Hernandez being taken out of the finish protects him and clearly they feel Homicide can eat these losses because he probably doesn’t play a part in any major plans.)
23.) Samoa Joe appears on the screen with his back to the screen. Joe turns around with face paint on the right side of his face and says “Main Event Mafia… let me introduce you to the real Samoa Joe.”
Final Thoughts:
For the most part, this was a bad episode of Impact. Sure, Booker and Nash on commentary was enjoyable, and Steiner doing the ring announcing provided some chuckles. But, from advancing storylines and in-ring action, it’s a subpar episode. There was no reason that Abyss couldn’t have pinned Steiner when he had everything in his favor. Give the guy a key win when he really needs some momentum. As it stands right now, I have little interest in Against All Odds at this moment.
Thanks for reading.