ECW Return of the Funker 2/25/1995
Written By: Bob Colling
Extreme Championship Wrestling Return of the Funker
From: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, PA
The Pitbulls defeated Chad Austin & Joel Hartgood: A simple squash to put over the Pitbulls. Super Bomb from the top on Austin for the win. DUD
After the match, Stevie Richards and Raven come down to ringside to be interviewed by Joey. Raven says that Stevie has failed yet again, when he lost Tommy Dreamer. Raven says he will wash his hands in blood. Who’s blood?
– Tommy Dreamer comes down and tells Raven to shut up. He has had enough issues in the past. Dreamer gives Raven “one more warning”. Stevie says that the reason he lost to Dreamer, was because he got beaten up at a club by a few guys. Richards says that the “Broad Street Bullies” will be taking Dreamer out. Johnny Hotbody and Tony Stetson. Hotbody says they are here for Raven. Raven enters the ring, Dreamer with a few stop sign shots to the Bullies and Richards. Raven isn’t doing anything each time Dreamer comes directly into his face grabbing his neck. Dreamer is in a corner by Richards and Bullies, when Raven storms into the corner and brawl.
Jason Knight & Paul Lauria defeated Mikey Whipwreck & Hack Meyers: Myers and Whipwreck with control early on. Myers throws Whipwreck into both Knight and Lauria. Whipwreck with a head scissors take down on Knight. Myers with a big clothesline on Lauria. There is some guy wearing a purple mask at ringside. Appears to be rather large. Whipwreck with a headlock/head scissors combo on Knight and Lauria. Gut wrench suplex on Lauria. Standing spin kick by Lauria. Lauria continues control on Whipwreck with a back breaker. Knight lifts Lauria off the middle rope and Lauria connects with a leg drop. Knight is on the floor with Whipwreck and hits him over the head with a frying pan. Knight with a leg drop from the off the top rope onto Whipwreck. Inverted Razors Edge by Knight onto Whipwreck. Whipwreck plays possum. Knight sends Whipwreck off the top rope landing chest first. Myers shoves Knight off the top. Whipwreck misses a top rope dropkick. Myers with several rights on the opponents. Whipwreck with a top rope bulldog on Lauria for a two count. The masked man knocks Myers out with a right hands, Lauria gets the pin. *
Too Cold Scorpio defeated Hector Guerrero: Guerrero with a abdominal stretch into a backbreaker onto Scorpio. Guerrero with a hammerlock submission. Scorpio with a back body drop on Guerrero. Thrust kick by Scorpio for a two count. Power bomb by Scorpio for another two count. Guerrero pokes the referee in the eyes. Springboard splash by Guerrero for a two count. Scorpio misses a standing moonsault. Scorpio misses a top rope moonsault as well. Scorpio with the 450 splash to the back of Guerrero for the win. *
Axl Rotten defeated Ian Rotten in a Barbed Wire Baseball Bat Match: Ian Rotten doesn’t want the bat to be on a pole. Ian grabs it and whacks a worker. Axl has a steel chair to fight off the bat. Ian misses a shot, Axl gets the bat and hits Ian a few times. Axl goes to work on the back of Ian’s head. Axl with a chair shot. Ian with a chair shot. Ian sends Axl into the ring post. Ian with a bat shot to the midsection of Axl. Ian rakes the bat to the forehead of Axl. Both men are busted open. Ian sends Axl into the first row. Axl with a chair shot. Well, Ian with a CLEAR blade job in the crowd. Ian is a complete bloody mess. Ian with a frying pan shot. Ian rakes the bat across the head of Axl. Ian with a shot to the leg, the bat is stuck to his leg! Axl is now busted open. Axl rakes the bat on the arm of Ian. Back into the crowd, Axl with a snap suplex onto the bleachers! Ian with a big splash onto the barbed wire bat which is on top of Axl. Axl with a modified pile driver onto the barbed wire bat, for the win. *1/2
ECW Champion Shane Douglas defeated Marty Jannetty to retain the title: Douglas just wants to have a classic wrestling match. He will teach Jannetty a wrestling lesson. Douglas with a few rights, Jannetty with a clothesline. Jannetty with a hurricanrana. Jannetty with a power slam on Douglas for a two count. Jannetty with a leaping fist drop. Douglas with a low blow to end the momentum that Jannetty had. Jannetty sends Douglas into the first row. Jannetty leaps over the railing with a clothesline onto Douglas in the crowd. Douglas lifts Jannetty up and drops him gut first over the guard railing. Douglas uses a crutch. Douglas with a big clothesline on Jannetty for a two count. Douglas sends Jannetty hard into the ring post. Douglas with a back body drop onto two chairs on the floor! Jannetty with a super kick on the floor. Rocker Dropper by Jannetty in the middle of the ring for a two count only. Jannetty with the super kick! Jannetty goes up top but misses a fist drop. Jannetty with a DDT. Douglas gets his foot on the bottom rope. Douglas catches Jannetty and connects with a power bomb, has a hand full of tights for the win! **
Joey Styles interviews Public Enemy. Rocco Rock is injured. Rocco says that he “paid the price” of being on the streets. Rock says that he and Grunge defeated Sabu and Taz last night. “You Was Robbed” chant. Benoit and Malenko come down and they take out Grunge. Malenko rolls Rock into a clothesline from Benoit. Sabu and Taz come down and brawl with Benoit and Malenko which starts the next contest.
Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko defeated ECW World Tag Team Champions Taz & Sabu to win the titles: Sabu with a springboard heel kick onto Malenko. Tax with a belly to belly on Benoit. Malenko with a clothesline on Taz. Delayed brain buster on Sabu, twice, Sabu kicks out. Reverse bulldog power bomb as Joey calls it on Sabu. Taz with a belly to belly suplex on both men. Taz with a reverse suplex on Malenko. German suplex on Benoit! Crowd likes this. Chop block by Malenko to the knee of Taz. Malenko with a leg submission on Taz. 911 comes down and carries Taz to the backstage area, leaving Sabu by himself. Double back drop by Malenko and Benoit. Sabu comes back with a somersault splash onto both men onto Malenko. Suicide dive onto Benoit. Springboard moonsault onto Benoit! Sabu leaps off a chair in the ring and splashes onto Benoit on the floor! Benoit throws Sabu off the top, and lands onto the chair. Benoit places Sabu onto a table in the corner, which is on the top turnbuckle. Benoit with a HUGE power bomb! Benoit goes for the cover, and we have NEW Champions! **1/2
After the match, Benoit issues a challenge to PE. PE come out, Rock is bleeding from the side. Grunge goes to work on both Benoit and Malenko. Taz has been brought back to the ring by 911. 911 slams Taz over the top onto Malenko, Benoit, Grunge and Rock. Sabu with a high cross body onto Benoit and Rock. 911 choke slams the referee which the normal for him.
Woman and Sandman are with Joey Styles for a interview. Woman is angry at Cactus Jack for trying to injure Sandman, her meal ticket. Woman calls out Cactus Jack. Jack makes his way down to th ring. DC Drake comes out of a box or something he was in. Drake is a “violent sadistic” wrestler, so says Styles.
Cactus Jack defeated DC Drake: A little bit into the match, Jack with a elbow drop off the apron. Jack with a stop sign shot. Jack with a double arm DDT for the win. DUD That was a squash for Jack.
After the match, Sandman rolls in and delivers a cane shot. Jack comes back with a running bulldog. Sandman with quite a few more cane shots. Jack with another DDT on Drake. Jack clotheslines Sandman over the top to the floor. Jack has a blanket over Sandman, rips it off, and its TERRY FUNK! They trade a few right hands. Sandman and Funk work over Jack. Several cane shots to Jack. Chad Austin gets beaten down. Tommy Dreamer comes down and delivers a few cane shots to Sandman. Dreamer can not hit Funk. Funk with a few slaps. Sandman comes from behind with a cane shot to the back of Dreamer. Funk grabs the microphone and says that he hasn’t forgotten about Japan. He and Cactus had a brutal death match there. Shane Douglas rolls into the ring. Funk with a sick chair shot on Cactus. Douglas is now being slapped by Funk. Douglas decks Sandman and Terry Funk. Douglas has turned baby face!
End of Show
Overall Grade: C