Written by: Arnold Furious
This show, is probably the best WCW show of 2000. Although that’s not saying much. The first thing you need to know is that Goldberg is back babyface now. This show has Goldberg-Steiner in the marquee match. Nash-Booker is your WCW title match. Hosts are Fat Tony, Scott Hudson and some fat sack of shit in a Hawaiian shirt. Oh, it’s Mark Madden.
Cruiserweight title – “Prime Time” Elix Skipper (c) w/Major Gunns v Kwee Wee w/Paisley
Kwee Wee starts fast and dropkicks Skipper outside. He gets pissed and comes back going after the arm. Kwee Wee hits a terrible elbow drop for 2. They work the mat some in an attempt to make Kwee Wee look capable and he resorts to some armdrags. Kwee Wee gobs a leapfrog. Skipper decides to forearm smash him in the back of the head for that. Skipper shows some tremendous balance on the ropes before hitting a dragon suplex for 2. Back suplex and a twisting legdrop gets 2. Skipper cranks a sleeper. I dig Skipper’s intensity. Anyone who can make chinlocks look interesting rocks. Kwee Wee screws up the crossbody over the ropes. Skipper would be better off wrestling a broomstick. At least they don’t make mistakes. SKIPPER HITS A TOP ROPE MID ROPE MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR AND KILLS THE CAMERAMAN IN THE PROCESS. Boo Ya. You tha man Prime Time! Play of the Day is countered into a powerbomb for the double KO. This brings out the Natural Born Thrillers. Kwee Wee does the Lou Thesz press and slaps away like a bitch. Crappy dropkick gets 2. Kwee Wee takes it outside and tries to kill Skipper by dropping him short on the rail. Mike Sanders runs in to punk out Kwee Wee. He still manages to roll through a crossbody for 2. Skipper does the MATRIX escape that Trish Stratus has now lifted. PLAY OF THE DAY and that’s all she wrote at 11.03. Skipper retains and is pronounced as Jesus for performing the miracle of getting that chunk of shit Kwee Wee to this **1/2 rating. As I pointed out earlier he’d have been better off wrestling a broomstick or a dummy or something. Kwee Wee went on to ruin several NWA-TNA shows as “Bruce”. He also does a 2nd rate Hulk Hogan impression as “The Funkster”. In any guise he sucks.
3 Count (Karagias/Moore/Helms) v MIA (Chavo Guerrero/Lash LeRoux/The Wall)
For those who missed it 3 Count were the wrestling boy band including “Sugar” Shane Helms who went on to fame as the Hurricane. Moore is Shannon who is now an MF’er. The Wall went on to become Malice in TNA. Guerrero nails Moore with an Ocean Cyclone. LeRoux gets funky but that allows Karagias to come in. Karagias hits a leg lariat and tags Helms in. Wall gets the tag. Helms out speeds him but gets pressed slammed into a spinebuster for 1 because 3 Count triple team. LeRoux comes back in and 3 Count triple team again. Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo gets 2. Moore on his own hits a Rocker Dropper for 2. Vertical suplex/crossbody gets 2. Karagias hits a powerslam and drops the Savage elbow for 2. Diving sunset flip from Helms gets 2. Russian legsweep and in comes Moore. Twisting splash gets 2. Moore gets punked out by the referee for getting in his face about the count. LeRoux hits an X-Factor to prevent a further beating and Wall gets the hot tag. He big boots away at 3 Count until Helms goes low. Moore hits a sweet swanton to the floor. Karagias gets involved with a plancha. Helms goes for something and Wall catches him. Chokeslam is blocked. He lifts Moore up BY THE HAIR. Ouch! Helms superkicks him off the apron through a set up table at ringside however. Helms miscues a superkick on Karagias and Guerrero takes advantage by powerbombing Moore for 2. Triple suplex spot is blocked and the MIA gets DDT’d for 2 but Wall is back up and he pulls everyone out. LeRoux hits his Cajun Driver on Helms (who’s the only heel left in the ring) and the MIA take it at 10.24. **3/4. Lots of effort but nothing outstanding. Helms looked like the best wrestler in the whole thing along with Chavo. Of course they were both signed by the WWE.
BACKSTAGE Kev Nash hits a kid up for cash instead of signing an autograph. He rejects the $1.50 the kid has and tells him to buy a soda instead.
The Harris Brothers v Kronik
Oh Christ. This is a first blood chain match in some Russo overbooking. Let’s just assume it sucks because I have no desire to watch it. It looks boring on fast forward if that’s any consolation. One of the Harris Brothers gets busted open while the referee isn’t looking and he gets bumped. They bust up Adams while the ref is down and when he gets back up all he sees is Adams bleeding. Oh great, a screwjob first blood match. Time is 6.37. Match, as I pointed out, sucked on fast forward so I can’t imagine how horrific it was to sit through the whole thing. DUD. Kronik take out the referee even though he did nothing to deserve it in the post match antics. I can’t even begin to describe how much Kronik suck.
BACKSTAGE Pam Paulshock interviews “General Rection” – Hugh Morrus as I shall refer to him. He’s going to take the Canadian…US title from Lance Storm. Major Gunns is also on the line but she’s been off with the Canadian faction for a while because of another stipulation. ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan is the special enforcer tonight and is completely in the MIA corner, which reeks of bias.
US title – Lance Storm (c) w/Major Gunns v Hugh Morrus
Storm jumps ahead of the bell because he’s the champ and is afforded that luxury. Morrus fires back with rights sending Storm crashing outside. Storm goes for a crucifix but Morrus drops out Samoa style. Hacksaw corner charges don’t work for him and Storm hits a slam. Gunns is starting “USA” chants on the outside provoking Morrus to hit a superplex for 2. Storm goes low and stomps away. Thrust kick gets 2. Dropkick gets 2. Morrus outside and Storm hits a sweet plancha. Storm badmouths Duggan allowing Morrus to get back in this. Back inside and Storm hits a jawbreaker. Morrus with a powerslam gets a 2 count. Storm crossbody is blocked into a powerbomb for 2. Dragon screw from Storm and he tries for the Maple Leaf, blocked. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX from Morrus. WHOA! Storm goes outside and Duggan throws him back in like a cheat. Gunns comes on the apron and distracts while Duggan turns heel on Morrus. If that makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER that’s because Russo is booking. Storm slaps on the Maple Leaf and Morrus is unconscious so Storm retains at 6.47. **. Quite an enjoyable match but way too short and the whole “this is a black day” oversell is almost completely worthless because Duggan’s heel turn is pointless. His whole character is based on being pro-American. There’s a reason why he didn’t ever turn heel before. This is hardly Hulk Hogan and Bash at the Beach ’96.
BACKSTAGE the mic cuts out during a Natural Born Thrillers interview. Okerlund calls Sanders a “prick” and O’Haire nearly clocks him in the face. I would have. Okerlund is a tool. We get a shot off the Buffalo Bills at ringside.
Natural Born Thrillers (O’Haire/Reno/Chuck Palumbo/Johnny The Bull/Mark Jindrak) v Filthy Animals (Konnan/Guerrera/Mysterio/Disco)/Big Vito/Paul Orndorff
This is elimination rules. Stasiak joins the announcers because no one wants to see him wrestle. Neither Mike Sanders or Shawn Stasiak appears to be in this match. Rey Jr hits a springboard guillotine legdrop on Jindrak but he fires back with a side slam. I’ve spent the first couple of minutes trying to determine who the hell is in this match. Juvi hits O’Haire with a slingshot missile dropkick. O’Haire comes back with the Falcon Arrow. Juvi comes back with a rana and a headscissors on Jindrak. Vito gets the tag and works over Jindrak too. Vito drops a leg and in comes Disco. Jindrak side slams him too and O’Haire comes back in. He hits a dropkick for 2. Disco eats a superkick for 2. He fires back with a swinging neckbreaker and in comes Konnan. Rolling Thunder clothesline and the X-Factor from him. O’Haire clotheslines him down. We get a donnybrook and Disco gives Konnan the Last Dance by mistake. He’s out of here at 5.28. Good.
Johnny The Bull comes in for the spinebuster on Disco but the leg jam misses. The Animals refuse to tag Disco and he gets the Roll of the Dice from Reno. Good night Disco at 6.20 and now the Animals are well down. Vito-Reno. Vito hits a Yakuza kick. Palumbo gets a blind tag and Vito hits the Wham, Bam, Thank Ya, Mam for 2. Vito grabs a stick but it backfires – ROLL OF THE DICE. Bye Vito at 8.10. Orndorff organises on the outside and Juvi requests he enter the match. Juvi-Reno. Juvi hits a standing dropkick and clubs away in the corner. Spinning body attack and Rey tags in. They do a Poetry in Motion. JUVI DRIVER. Reno is dead. Waaaaassuuuuup groin legdrop and Reno is out at 10.12. Jindrak and O’Haire come in and batter the midgets. Missile dropkick from Juvi though but he’s caught on a springboard plancha. They throw him back in over the ropes from OUTSIDE on the floor. SEANTON BOMB and Juvi is juice at 11.35. Just Rey and Orndorff now and the crowd has gone out of it because of the way the odds are racking up against the babyfaces.
Orndorff comes in swinging rights and BAH GAWD, he looks in great shape. Johnny The Bull comes in and kendo sticks away as I howl for a DQ. Orndorff takes it off him and pastes him with it. PILEDRIVER. Johnny the Bull is outta there at 12.55. Jindrak and O’Haire hammer on Orndorff but Jindrak takes a nasty spill over the ropes on a Poetry in Motion attempt. Orndorff hits a few knees. Orndorff goes for another piledriver but something gives out and he collapses. O’Haire smartly covers to put him away at 14.19. Tygress comes in to help Rey but Orndorff isn’t moving at all. Rey goes for a broncobuster on Jindrak. Rey tries to fight around Orndorff but it’s not happening. Charles Robinson finally gives up and calls for the bell at 16.03. No contest and Orndorff needs medical attention. ***1/4. Real good until the unfortunate injury. Shame they didn’t get to follow up on that with the remainder of the match. Robinson signals that Orndorff has a neck injury. The commentators attempt to turn this into more of a sports coverage as they speculate about the injury because there’s nothing else to do. This, incidentally, is the reason why the old guys don’t give that degree of effort. I have much respect for Orndorff going about this match they way he did. It’s not easy to give it your all when you’ve been retired for so long. He gets a deserved standing ovation.
BACKSTAGE Pam Paulshock interviews Kidman and Madusa ahead of the Pittsburgh Plunge Scaffold match. Kidman’s missus Torrie is Shane’s partner. Madusa cuts an old school shouty promo.
Pittsburgh Plunge Scaffold match – Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson v Kidman/Madusa
Torrie is no Francine. Shane cuts a tasteless promo referencing Orndorff, which kills the fans interest in this one. Nice work jerky. Scaffold matches suck, always. They’re up at 20 feet off the ground. Torrie looks shit scared up there. Kidman avoids a powerbomb. Madusa works Torrie on the scaffold because she’s too scared to stand up. Madusa goes over to boot Shane on his ass. Madusa misses an Ensiguri and Torrie scurries past. Kidman spots her though only for Shane to powerslam him. Shane takes a backdrop and this insanely dangerous. Kidman hits a Rydien bomb. Madusa tries to climb down but she has a bad knee and struggles. Shane chases her but gets low blowed. Shane tries to kick her off and succeeds sending Madusa crashing down onto an airbag. Not a whole lot of give in that airbag. Torrie low blows Kidman and he’s thrown off. THUNK. This isn’t as bad as the Cornette bump that destroyed his knee. Loads of padding on those falls. 1/2*. Another stupid gimmick match, thanks Russo. Match time is officially 6 minutes-ish but most of that is Torrie climbing down the ladder to win.
BACKSTAGE Heatless Sting chats about his upcoming match. So obviously he has a world title match tomorrow. Jarrett jumps him back there. Okerlund calls him “a crazy bastard”.
TENAY interview – David Flair. What the hell is this doing on PPV? Stacey Kiebler just left David and informed him that her baby isn’t his. David is now a touch insane except this insane is more boring than anything else. David blames his 11 year old brother Reed Flair for screwing Stacey. David jumps around like a retard. End this damn segment NOW. It’s so stupid to drag Ric Flair into this whole thing. David goes outside and beats up the mailman and puts him in the figure 4. Jesus Christ, what a total waste of PPV time.
Sting v Vampiro v Great Muta
The ICP are in Vampiro’s corner as the Dark Carnival. Muta is also in the DC so this is pretty much a handicap match. ICP and Mark Madden are on commentary for this match. That renders the commentary useless so I just mute the TV. Sting is overcome with the weight of numbers and takes a beating on the floor. Some plunder gets used on Sting. Vampiro and Muta plug away in what appears to be slow motion. Sting no sells and fires back. Muta and Sting finally run a sequence where it’s just them and the action speeds up 200%. Vampiro waddles back over to hit a back suplex. Yawn. Muta hits a backbreaker and moonsault for 2, broken by Slug Boy. They brawl and ICP run in to break it up. Sting has a bat and he takes everyone down. Scorpion Deathdrop on Muta and it’s over at 5.10. Let’s see – DUD for the match minus one snowflake for treating Keiji Mutoh like a fecking jobber and another snowflake for allowing the ICP to commentate on it. -**. Muta gets beaten down but Sting saves him. I’m tempted to dump another star for a stupid double swerve.
BACKSTAGE Mike Awesome arrives in his 70’s bus. He has Gary Coleman with him. Coleman points out that he’s from the 80’s thus pointing out how retarded the idea of putting a celebrity themed in the 80’s with a character themed in the 70’s is and pretending that it works.
Jeff Jarrett v Mike Awesome
Jarrett gets in the face of the Buffalo Bills with his Tennessee Titans shirt. Jarrett has a habit of pissing off football players. This is a bunkhouse brawl match. Jarrett runs Buffalo down on the mic. This is a Pier 6 brawl from the bell with plunder shots out on the floor. Jarrett takes Awesome to the woodshed with some leather belt shots. Jarrett snaps Kwee Wee over Awesome’s back. Oh, wait – that’s a broomstick, my bad. CHAIR DUEL, which Awesome wins due to his chair duelling experience. Jarrett gets set up on a table but stops the frog splash with some possum playing. Superplex is blocked, super Awesomebomb is blocked and Awesome gets backdropped through the table. Jarrett finds the barbed wire and this is about to get nutty. Awesome avoids it and whips Jarrett into it – TWICE. That can’t be real barbwire. FLIP UP SIT OUT AWESOMEBOMB for 2. Frog splash misses because Awesome takes too long. Jarrett jaws with the Bills at ringside again, which hints at a screwy ending I don’t want to see. The Bills run in ruining a perfectly good match – AWESOMEBOMB….FOR 2. Running Awesomebomb is blocked and Jarrett goes low. Jarrett gets the acoustic equaliser but Gary Coleman runs in. What? Comedy 80’s midget low blows!!!! JARRETT GUITAR SHOTS GARY COLEMAN!!! Way to save the match Jeff! Sting runs in and hits the Scorpion Deathdrop on Jarrett so Awesome covers him for 3 at 9.04. So Awesome needed the Buffalo Bills, Gary freakin’ Coleman and Sting to help him win. I’d have just put him over clean. It’s not like the company was going anywhere by this point. *** for effort after deducting points for the retarded nature of the run in’s which totally destroyed the match. Sting alone would have been enough or the Gary Coleman distraction, which caused a REALLY amusing guitar shot. Thumbs up for the wrestling, thumbs down for the shitty booking.
BACKSTAGE Scheme Gene interviews Scotty Steiner. This next match is also no DQ. “Geez, what a mouth on that bastard” – Scheme Gene, again.
Goldberg v Scott Steiner
Even Goldberg’s pyro looks cheap now suggesting WCW had NO MONEY AT ALL. Steiner has a nose brace, which is essentially a full facemask. Steiner clubs away but Goldberg hits a shoulder tackle. GORILLA PRESS INTO AN OVER THE SHOULDER POWERSLAM. Impressive power from Goldberg. Steiner bails because he just got his booty kicked. Steiner fires back with a clothesline and a bicep kiss elbow for 2. Steiner runs into a boot and Goldberg hits a butterfly slam. Goldberg isn’t going for covers here. DIAMOND CUTTER from Steiner. Only Hudson calls it. ROLLING WHITE THUNDER SUPLEX gets 2. They fight over a tombstone and Goldberg wins with an over the shoulder powerslam for 2. Corner spear misses. Steiner comes off the buckles and Goldberg CATHCES HIM into a powerslam. Wow. Goldberg keels over afterwards. Some form of selling, maybe? Outside and Goldberg takes a header into the ring steps. Midajah comes out with a lead pipe. Steiner works Goldberg over with a chair and we go back in. Goldberg in the tree of woe and Steiner works him over with the chair some more. Goldberg is bleeding from the top of the head, HARDWAY. T-Bone suplex from Steiner and some push up’s. THIS is how you put a guy over. Backbreaker and Goldberg is down…for 2. Full nelson is blocked but Steiner goes right into a belly to belly. Steiner gets the lead pipe from his favourite freak…SPEAR!!! Vince Russo runs in with a baseball bat like the fecking egomaniac piece of shit he is to break up the Jackhammer. Steiner covers for 2. Table set up on the outside and Steiner just throws him through it. Steiner Recliner applied. Russo is screaming “ring the bell” like a scumbag. Goldberg gets the ropes but Midajah kicks him off. Goldberg stands up out of it anyway and dumps Steiner on the ropes. Steiner gets back up and batters Goldberg with a lariat. Goldberg goes to the nose with headbutts and Midajah and Russo cheap shot him with weapons. SUPER BELLY TO BELLY….for 2. Steiner Recliner applied again. Goldberg crawls to the ropes and throws Steiner through them. Steiner gets a chair and misses. Swinging neckbreaker (I think, that’s the closest move to what Goldberg did that exists) but Russo comes in. Steiner takes advantage with a lead pipe shot to knock Goldberg out. Steiner Recliner again and this time it’s over because Goldberg is unconscious at 13.49. ***1/2. ONLY hurt by Russo’s overbooking. Seriously his booking dropped 1/2*. Excellent match for both men. I suspect this is what the WWE watched before hiring them both.
SHILL for Halloween Havoc, which centers around Sting being “re-born”.
WCW title/cage match – Kevin Nash (c) v Booker T
Because Vince Russo is a believer in hot shot booking he switched the champion before the event. They have the dense WCW cage that you CAN’T SEE INTO. Nash pounds away in his standard half assed fashion before hitting a side slam for 2. Nash exposes a turnbuckle. Snake Eyes is avoided and Nash takes it in the ribs. Sidekick, axe kick, spinneroonie but the Book End is blocked. Chokeslam from Nash into a double KO. Nash rolls into a cover for 2. Nash gets thrown into the exposed buckle. Ah, the irony. Nash gigs while he’s down and gets raked along the cage for his troubles. Hope that blood doesn’t mess his hair up. Booker avoids the Jack Knife by grabbing the cage and he hits a missile dropkick for 2. Nash comes back with a big boot. I’m trying to get a good look at his bladejob but you can’t see through the damn cage. Jack Knife is countered right into the BOOK END and Booker pins for the win and his 2nd WCW title reign at 9.01. Right result and I guess the right length because this didn’t drag much. **1/4.
Overall PPV rating – C+
Mostly solid especially for WCW in 2000 but by GOD there is a lot of mediocre nonsense and wrestlers that just don’t belong on PPV. Scrap the stupid gimmick matches that did nothing (double chain 1st blood match anyone?) and book less run in’s and the company could have gotten better. Well, less run in’s, less “shoot” interviews and less swerves and turns. Actually firing Vince Russo and replacing him with anyone would also have done that. Upshot – this is the best WCW PPV of 2000 hands down. It’s also the 2nd best match of Goldberg’s career and, I think, the best match Scott Steiner had with anyone after turning heel.