Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Amarillo, Texas, just in time for National Frozen Foods Month. What, no mention of Leap Day? The show as broadcast on Leap Day after all. Perfect takes this frozen motif and runs with it, referencing the “cool” attitudes of Undertaker and Jake Roberts. As you know, revenge is a dish best served cold.
-Tito Santana vs. Brian Elmore-
I’m not too sure of the jobber’s name (it was announced but not shown) but in the grand scheme of things, who really cares? Shawn Michaels has a cut-in interview and he hypes his Wrestlemania VIII match against Tito. Elmore pounds at Tito in the corner for his token offense before he’s backdropped down. The Paso De Morte finishes this at 1:27.
Mean Gene takes his usual place in the Update Center (brought to you by the 1992 Merchandise book, with the WWE Shoot-out game). The Legion of Doom were supposed to face the Natural Disasters but one of the members of LOD was injured so Hart asked for Tunney to change the match to LOD vs. Ted DiBiase & IRS. Lo and behold, IRS and DiBiase won the titles but it seems that Hart took money from them to give up the Natural Disasters title shot. The Disasters have dropped Hart as their manager (turning face) and will now face DiBiase and IRS (with new manager, Jimmy Hart) for the tag titles. We hear from the new tag champions and DiBiase coins them Money Incorporated and they are ready for the Disasters, althouh Jimmy Hart can’t think of any weaknesses they have!
-Repo Man vs. Don Richter-
Repo clothesliens Richter down right away as Virgil flies in with a little promo. Virgil says he’s gonna sneak RIGHT BACK on Repo Man. Anyway, Repo ends this with a single leg-bar to end this at 1:03. I don’t remember him actually beating anyone with that other than jobbers.
-The New Foundation vs. Todd Overbow & Kris Germany-
I think that Neidhart will be replaced by Koko B. Ware soon, but I don’t remember when exactly those two were teaming together. Owen nails a top-rope elbow after Neidhart spinebusters the jobber down. Owen was clearly the better wrestler of the group. Owen connects with a nice release Northern Lights Suplex and flips out of the way of danger after being whipped to the corner. Neidhart comes in and shows off his wresting acumen by laughing at his opponent. The Rocket Launcher ends this for the New Foundation at 2:09.
Sean Mooney is at the Event Center and I love how he always segues from the matches we just saw to the promo’s we see. For instance, the New Foundation are on their way to the top but they need to fight other tag teams along the way, like the Nasty Boys! We hear from the Nasty Boys (who have Jimmy Hart as their manager). Knobbs’ speaking is just so over the top that it borders on sheer ridicilousness. We also hear from the Big Boss Man. Highlights include him calling the Repo Man the Rip-Off Man. What wit on the part of the Boss Man.
-Papa Shango vs. Larry Williams-
Shango controls early, though he’s already getting some heel heat from the crowd. McMahon wonders if Shango is going to go to Wrestlemania and blow the ending of the Main Event, showing that he either knew it was going to happen or that he was psychic. Shango finishes at 1:17 with an inverted shoulderbreaker. He does some voodoo stuff at the end, too.
Well, speaking of entertainment that’s out of this world – It’s Suburban Commando!!!
Mooney segues from that perfectly into a Berkerzer (w/Mr. Fuji) promo. Berzerk was an answer on Jeopardy the other day and it’s one I didn’t get, even though I should’ve thanks to my knowledge of this character. Here’s another one I never remember actually winning against other stars. Mooney then brings us the Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart), who is going to shock the world in ways that the Shockmaster never could. He still pissed about losing the title to Piper.
Speaking of Piper, he’ll be at the next Wrestlemania, of which we have a Report coming! Just so you know, it’s on April 5th at the Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana. We have a double main event of Ric Flair putting his gold on the line against Randy Savage. Perfect and Flair talk about the match and they keep talking about a surprise for Savage that will guarantee them victory. Savage isn’t worried about some surprise. Of course the REAL main event is Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan. Sid does one of his usual growling, non-sensical promo’s and Hogan’s is just as epically weird. We have an undercard to fill up, too: We have Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper for the IC title as well as the Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc for the Tag Titles. There’s also Shawn Michaels vs. Tito Santana.
-Texas Tornado vs. Masked Assassin-
This must be towards the end of Kerry’s run in the WWE and his run in life. Kerry makes the mistake of turning his back to his opponent but he can’t really take advantage. The discus punch ends this at 0:38. This was very quick.
It was so quick we can look at the WBF magazine and its contents – a fat-loss diet. McMahon looks at Perfect while talking about it and Perfect actually cracks up a bit at that.
It’s Funeral Parlor time and Paul Bearer brings out Jake Roberts. The two had been allies but it came to an end at the most recent Saturday Night’s Main Event with Taker turning on Jake to save Elizabeth and Macho Man. Bearer runs down all of Jake’s transgressions against Macho Man and Elizabeth, dating back to Summerslam 1991. Jake gets in Bearer’s face so Taker’s music hits. Jake turns to look for Taker but he’s coming out of the casket. They get in each other’s faces and Jake asks Taker who the hell he thinks he is and whose side is he on. Undertaker answers, “Not yours,” to a big pop. Roberts takes the urn and tosses it in the casket and then locks Taker’s hand in the coffin. He follows with a DDT to Bearer with Undertaker powerless to help. Jake then nails Taker with a steel chair. Taker no-sells the chair shots so Jake lays into him some more. Jake tries to get on the microphone but Taker is up again and he follows Robert (with the casket still closed on him) to the back, shrugging off all chair shots. This was a really good build-up but unfortunately the match at Wrestlemania couldn’t live up to the build.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter vs. 2 Jobbers-
The jobbers weren’t announced (unless you count Duggan and Slaughter) for those wondering. The jobbers are dumped early and this is over soon afterwards with a three-point stance clothesline.
Mooney starts the episode clean-up with some promo’s. We hear from Repo Man (what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine, too!) and Tito Santana. Next week: An update on Taker and Roberts as well as Shawn Michaels, the Money Inc, Tatanka, Sid Justice and an interview with Ric Flair.
-The Bottom Line-
The wrestling on this episode seemed really underwhelming. I know it’s nothing but jobber matches but nothing was over 2:10, so there’s not much going on wrestling wise. Superstars was always an angle-builder and when taking it like that this show succeeded, setting up a few new matches for Wrestlemania and bringing us two big angles: The Money Inc. title change and the great Undertaker/Jake feud. I’d say that those two were the price of admission this time.