WCW Thunder 9/13/2000

Written by: Kevin Kildenberger

Jones is on the phone with the Cat discussing business. JJ pops up and takes the phone and tells him that she is attending to some Chosen business.

David Flair is back to his “psychotic” self as he grabs a crew member demanding to know if he is the father of the child.

Here comes Nash, JJ and Steiner. They have Ms. Jones. Nash has the mic and he is trying to figure out who is more gullible: Booker T, Goldberg, the Cat or the stupid people watching? Nash and crew play them all every week like the proverbial fiddles. Nash goes on about Booker for a bit and asks if Sir Pump-a-lot has anything to say. He talks about his size and his women. He calls a fan a bitch and how she is no woman! He is a genetic freak and he is the only person who can say that and it is not Goldberg. Goldberg has four days before Steiner proves that he is nothing but White trash and how he is a man. JJ now and he will knock Awesome back to the 70s. He has some issues with Jones and he replays what happened. Cat and Booker speed up to the arena. JJ makes it a five count and he brags about his victory. He lied about her getting out of here in one piece and cue Booker T and the Cat. He comes out and goes off on the heels and tells us to save the drama for our momma’s. Cat is going to book a match with Nash and Steiner v. he and Booker. He calls JJ Slappy and he has a match for him too. The lights go out and it is Sting! Sting pops up and leaves and when the lights come back on, Jones is allowed to escape.

Disco has the Animals booked in a match tonight and they are pissed and leave.

The 70s bus has arrived.

Disco and the FA are talking about the match with Jindrak and O’Haire with Gene. Konnan calls Disco a Cranberry and is not happy.

Thrillers come out and Sanders is on the mic and talking about being suspended on Monday but his men took care of business. He had the ladies and drinks waiting for when they came back to the hotel. He is introducing the newest member of the Thrillers: Johnny the Bull. Sanders rambles some more….

Match 1: Disco and Tigress v. Jindrak and O’Haire

Oh, that is why they were pissed. Jesus, this is the first match. Twenty minutes in and this is what we get? FUCK.

Predictably Disco and Tigress are wiped out. Disco ran off.

DUD.

FA and Thrillers fight.

Now Flair is haranguing a ref.

Team Canada is conferring and Gunns is bitching about something. They make her speak Canadian by saying Eh.

Awesome is talking to himself in the back.

Booker and Sting are upset and tell Cat so. Sting wants a title shot if Booker wins. Booker is fine with it but he wants to keep the eyes on the ball.

Disco is getting chastised by the Animals.

Lava Lamp Lounge time: Gunns is the guest and this is awful. He thinks she is Canadian and wants to show her some lovin’ and her acting is fucking horrible. He is massaging her shoulders. She acts like she loves it. Here comes Lance Storm. He is shutting this down. Elix is sent to shut it down but he gets press slammed as Storm leaves with Gunns. Here comes MIA to head him off. They talk about some sort of nonsense and Duggan. JJ comes out and Strokes Awesome.

Duggan is in the back reading a paper and MIA tells him that Storm wanted a piece of him. Duggan screams USA.

A kid and his dad are waiting for Nash. Steiner blocks the kid and the dad gives Nash sixty bucks for the picture. Steiner flexes in front of his face!

Douglas and Torrie are down. Fuck me. 40 minutes and one shitty ass match. Fans are getting pissed.

Match 2: Douglas and Torrie v. Kidman and Madusa

Atrocious. Kidman walks after Torrie and then she hangs off the balcony. Just horrible….He walked after her into the stands.

DUD.

Kidman is with Madusa and Gene. He is talking about how dangerous the Scaffold Match. Madusa calls Torrie a bitch.

Tenay is talking to Ric Flair about the wedding. He is talking about his career and Russo and how is retired. He wants Tenay that he is not Midajah. Tenay wonders about why he let Russo under his skin and the involvement of his family. Russo is no good etc. There are rumors that Ric is the father of the baby. Flair is not happy about that statement and he had promised himself not to get angry. Tenay is called a product of Russo and this is how guys get hurt and it is bullshit and he stalks out in anger.

David is still going after people and Fit Finlay threatens him before he gets hurt.

Match 3: Jeff Jarrett v. Sting

JJ is not happy and tells Sting that Nash assured him that he would win. Sting will not get the title shot. Sting wants this match to determine the next contender for the title. Best two out of three. JJ agrees.

They lock up and for the first minute no one gets the upperhand until Sting finally takes him down and dWooo’s him. Sting applies a headlock and is shoved off and he runs over JJ and does that again. JJ is knocked to the floor and then the railing and the table and railing again. He is taken up the aisle and suplexed onto the stage. Sting punches him back towards the ref. JJ comes back but it does not last and he is hammered, slammed and then crushed by a big splash from the top rope. Two count. JJ fires back and then nuts Sting. Stroke! JJ gets the first fall. He waits the ten seconds and gets another two count. He pounds on Sting, knocking him to the floor and he places him on the announce table, straddle and slugs away on the Stinger. JJ hopes for the countout but Sting sunset flips in and then rolls him up for the three count. JJ recovers first and right before the ten count is up and he kicks away at STing. He misses and they hook up and cannot figure out the next move and Sting puts him in a sleeper. JJ elbows free and then applies his own sleeper. Sting goes down and the ref raises his hand and on the third try, Sting comes alive. He elbows free and then puts JJ in a sleeper only to be back suplexed. Both are down and the ref counts, JJ rolls over on top of Sting getting two. Sting blocks punches and then JJ misses and is knocked down. Sting falls headfirst onto his nuts. Sting is taken into the corner but he no sells it and comes back. But JJ puts the ref in the way and down he goes. Another ref runs down and JJ is Stinger Splashed! JJ puts the other ref in front of him but Sting splashes him anyway! Deathlock! But no ref. Sting demands the bell be rung and it is….Okay.

*** About time. The finish however….

Duggan will get in the ring one last time and he has to do this.

Match 4: FA v. Kronik and Harris Brothers

FA stand by as the other four brawl. Another short match as Kronik wins and is attacked by the other Harris. FA just stood by.

*1/2

Here comes David Flair. He cannot deal with what happened on Nitro and she needs to come out and tell him who the dad is….I guess he was able to wait 48 hours. A sad looking Stacy comes out. He wants to know. Arn comes out and tells him to suck it up and get over it. He is not the father and to let it go. He tells David to get the bass out of his voice after David yelled. David leaves and AA calls her a hussy essentially and she better know who the father is.

Duggan is out cold in the back with the US flag draped over his back.

Match 5: Lance Storm v. Jim Duggan

Canadian National Anthem time! MIA interrupts. Rection sprints down and Skipper is tossed. I guess this was a tag match. Rection is going after both. He powerslams Skipper of the springboard and then front suplexes Storm on top of him. Storm is whipped into Skipper and then crushed and now Rection reverses it. Skipper is tossed to the floor but Rection turns right into a dropkick and is stomped. Storm is hammering him and Rection tries to fight back but he is nailed and put in the Crab and Duggan tries to crawl down but cannot get there in time and he has to tap.

** Please end this fucking feud.

MIA is pissed in the back. Who cares.

Match 6: Kevin Nash (c) and Scott Steiner v. Cat and Booker T

All four start fighting with the faces getting the upperhand. Booker is taking it to Steiner but Nash nails him and he gets T Boned. I guess this is for the title. Okay. Nash is tagged in and he waits for Booker to get him and does the Nash in the corner…..The same old shit. Steiner took out the Cat and now he comes back in and he pummels Booker. Nash wallops Cat with the belt. Steiner clotheslines Booker and gets two and now Nash comes in as the fans chant for Goldberg. Nash sideslams him and he gets two. Cat is getting killed on the floor as Booker tries to comeback but he runs into a boot and now he is double teamed. Recliner! Nash hits Cat with a chair and then pulls Booker to the floor. Goldberg comes in on a motorcycle and then spears Steiner! Jackhammer! He yells four days….

** Angle advancement.

*1/2 The first hour was so fucking bad that I nearly broke my DVD in anger. I mean really, really fucking bad. The final hour, probably 40 minutes was pretty good. The Sting match was good and the main event was decent. Still, why not just let them wrestle? It is what the fans want and it is what makes the show better. But Russo up until his final fucking demise 12 years later, fucking conventional weapons cannot kill that guy, never realized that or was just stupid….probably both.