Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it’s time for Monday Night RAW!
CM Punk’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Punk says it may be strange coming from someone who is straight edge, but he loves Las Vegas. Punk says that it was a year ago that he sat on the stage and dropped a pipe bomb. He spoke his mind and started a revolution. He said that he was the best, and he has proven that he is the best in the world. He has beaten everyone that has stepped in front of him. Punk puts over next week’s 1000th RAW and that he will be proud to walk in during his eighth month as Champion.
The Big Show’s music hits and he waltzes down to the ring. Show claps for Punk before beginning to speak. He says that that was a touching speech. Show says whatever, because everyone knows that he was inches away from winning the Money in the Bank contract. *Big Show Sucks* breaks out in the arena. Show says that chant is rude because he has a point to make. The briefcase was in his grasp, but as usual Cena was in the right place at the right time when the handle broke. Show says that if he had the briefcase he would cash it in right now.
Punk says that all Show does is beat people up and leave destruction in his wake, and then he loses. Show may have advantages, but he loses. Show says that the people in the audience don’t respect Punk, because they don’t even respect themselves. Show claims that if Punk left the WWE tomorrow they would move on to the next big thing in a week. Show says that Punk isn’t special because the company revolves around one man. Punk is just another cog in the machine. Punk looks Big Show in the eye and says that he is the WWE Champion and Big Show is not. What Show is, is an underachieving shell of a man that just happens to be a giant. Show tells Punk that what matters now is the fact that Cena is Mr. Money in the Bank now. So after Show beats Punk tonight leaves him lying in the ring, he could very well lose the Championship to John Cena.
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Titus O’Neil & Darren Young w/ AW
Kofi and Titus start the match. AW is on a hot mic during thing match. Titus hits an uppercut and tags in Darren. Kofi bounces out of the corner and connects with a high dropkick. Truth gets the tag and completes a tag team hip toss with his partner. Truth drops a leg drop before raking Young’s arm and tagging in Kofi. Kofi flies in with a crossbody and tries for a cover. Darren kicks out. Titus tries to run in but Kofi knocks him down with a dropkick. Truth comes in to help clear the ring. Kofi flies outside with a summersault plancha as we head to commercial.
Back from the break AW is still yapping away on the mic. Titus has Kofi down on the mat and tags in Young. Darren pulls his head onto the apron and AW steps in to comb his hair. Young slides back in the ring and tags in Titus. Kofi slips away and tags in Truth. He hits a spinning heel kick on Titus and then drops a DDT. Cover, but Young makes the save. Truth clothesline Young to the outside of the ring. Titus misses a clothesline and gets hit with Trouble in Paradise from Kofi. Truth hits the Lie Detector and this match is over!
Winners: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth
# AJ is in the back on her phone. Bryan walks into the shot but AJ immediately protests that she called the match down the middle last night. Bryan says that he is sorry for everything he has said to her since ‘mania. He has something he needs to admit to AJ – but Eve walks into the shot. She says that last week Bryan walked out on her, so tonight she will choose her own partner and take on Bryan and AJ. Eve says that payback is exactly what AJ is. Bryan says he’ll tell AJ what he needs to after their match tonight, and then gives her a peck on the cheek.
Zack Ryder v. Alberto Del Rio
Rio charges at Ryder immediately and pushes him into the corner and connects with punches and kicks. Rio charges but is blocked by the boot of Ryder. Zack punches away, but gets caught in an arm breaker. Rio pushes Ryder out of the ring. He follows after and stomps on the arm. Rio slams it against the steel steps. Ryder counters and backs Rio into the apron before sliding in the ring. Rio is unfazed as he slides back into the ring and applies the cross arm breaker. This match is over.
Winner via Cross Arm Breaker: Alberto Del Rio
After the match, Del Rio continues the assault on Ryder’s arm.
Rey Mysterio’s music erupts and he charges down to the ring. Del Rio stomps on him at first, but Rey gets to his feet and punches Rio in the face. Rey hits a tilt-a-whirl to set up his finisher. Mysterio connects with the 619!
Heath Slater is in the ring and calls out whichever legend is facing him this week. It’s Rikishi!
Heath Slater v. Rikishi
Slater taunts the crowd and gets kicked right in the face. Rikishi gets in the corner and applies the stinkface! Rikishi connects with a punch to the jaw and then climbs to the second rope. Rikishi bounces off and squats directly on to Slater. This match is over.
After the match, we are treated to a dance party with Rikishi and his sons – The Usos.
Daniel Bryan & AJ v. Eve Torres & The Miz
Bryan starts things off against The Miz. Miz backs him into the corner, but the referee forces them to separate. Bryan whips him into the ropes only to get caught with a high knee. Bryan stomps across his head so AJ tags herself into the match. Eve enters and pushes the smaller AJ down to the mat. She kicks her in the gut and goes for the cover. AJ kicks out. Eve places her neck against the second rope and applies pressure. Eve is in the corner and chokes AJ by holding her off the mat. AJ connects with a punch and then kicks Eve in the head and hits a spinning kick. AJ hits the shining wizard and goes for the cover. Miz is distracting the referee so Eve is saved from the count. AJ knocks Miz off the apron and they smile at each other. Eve rolls up AJ, but Bryan runs in and pushes so that AJ is on top. The referee counts and this match is over.
Winners: Daniel Bryan & AJ
After the match, Bryan has a mic and is in the ring with AJ. He says that she used to tell him something that he was scared and too stupid to say back. Now he realizes that his career and state of mind won’t be right until he says what he needs to say. “AJ, I love you”. Last week, Bryan asked her a question because he wanted to be Champion, this week he wants nothing but this – and drops to one knee. “AJ will you marry me?”. He pulls out a ring box and everything. Bryan takes the ring and places it onto AJ’s finger. She starts to cry as he holds a microphone up to her face. She says yes! They embrace and AJ drills Bryan’s mouth with her tongue. They engage in a tandem Yes! Chant.
Lawler & Cole announce that the wedding between Bryan and AJ will occur next week on the 1000th RAW.
Jack Swagger v. Ryback
Swagger goes on the attack at the start. Swagger hits his second rope splash and then drops to the mat to antagonize his opponent. The match has never officially started. Swagger grabs the ankle of Ryback but gets pushed away. Ryback gets to his feet and hits a monster clothesline followed by a set of powerbombs. Swagger rolls out of the ring as Ryback chants *feed me more*.
Vickie Guerrero appears on the entrance ramp to introduce Dolph Ziggler. They walk down to the ring together. Dolph puts over the fact that every MitB case has been cashed in for the championship. So, he is the next World Champion. It is only a matter of time before he cashes it in and becomes the Champion. Ziggler says he will better than Bret Hart, Steve Austin and The Rock. Ziggler is the best and it is Undisputed.
Jericho’s music hits at the mention of undisputed. Jericho makes his way down to the ring. Ziggler says that this isn’t about him. This is Ziggler’s time and moment. Unlike Jericho, Ziggler won last night. Ziggler asks when the last time is that Jericho won anything. Since Jericho has come back all we’ve heard is how great he is and how he is going to save us. Ziggler says that he thinks Jericho is losing his touch. Jericho responds with a Code Breaker to the face of Ziggler!
Brodus Clay’s music hits and he holds a dance party on the way down to the ring.
As a result of a fan poll, Christian will defend his Intercontinental Championship next week on RAW.
Brodus Clay v. JTG
Clay punches him in the gut off of an Irish whip. He hits a knee to the gut as the Funkadactyls cheer him on. Clay connects with a vertical suplex and then drops an elbow. Clay whips him towards the corner, but gets countered on a splash. JTG knocks out his legs and stomps on the injured leg of Clay. JTG locks on a front facelock. Clay gets back to his feet but gets hit with a dropkick. He stays on his feet and catches JTG for a Sheeplex. Clay headbutts him and connects with a big splash. This match is over.
Winner via Double the Funk, Double the Power: Brodus Clay
CM Punk v. The Big Show
They square off and Punk tries to kick out his legs. Show backs him into the corner but Punk pushes back out. Show flattens him with a headbutt. Show lifts him up and then connects with a shoulder block as Punk bounces off the ropes. Show steps on the back of Punk and crushes the Champion. Show kicks him out of the ring and follows after. He connects with a couple of punches that keep Punk grounded. Punk is able to get to his feet and throws Show head first into the steel post.
Both men make their way back into the ring. Show hits a hard kick that demolishes Punk. Show pushes Punk into the corner and uses his leg to choke out the Champion. Punk gets to his feet and unloads with a series of punches. He jumps up and onto the back of Show with a sleeper hold applied. Show counters the hold into a side slam. Show tries to drop an elbow, but Punk rolls out of the way. Punk tries a couple of clotheslines but gets sent to the mat with a back body drop. Show signals for the KO punch. Show tries, but Punk dodges and kicks him directly in the skull. Punk repeats the move two more time and sends Show into the corner. Punk connects with a high knee, and then follows with a second. Punk goes for a third and connects! Punk tries a bulldog, but Show pushes him away. Punk dodges a splash and Show falls hard to the mat. Punk climbs to the top rope and reaches for the sky. He leaps and connects with the elbow drop. Cover, but Show kicks out.
Big Show gets back to his feet and hits a chokeslam. Cover – but Punk gets his leg on the bottom rope. Show pushes him into the corner but the referee makes him separate. Show continues the attack despite the pleas of the referee. Show pushes the ref down which causes the DQ.
Winner via DQ: CM Punk
Show continues the attack after the match. Cena’s music hits and he runs down to the ring with the briefcase. Show climbs out of the ring and Cena calls for a microphone. Cena says that earlier today he said he had a huge announcement regarding the case. Big Show interrupts and says that everyone knows that he is going to announce that he is going to cash in the briefcase right now. Show asks how long it has been since Cena has been Champion. Isn’t that the Championship that Cena designed himself? Show says that Cena has to do it right now, because the people in the audience don’t respect him. Show says that he will never have an easier Championship victory than he has right now.
Cena says no. He gives Punk one more week to prepare for the biggest match of his life. Cena says that with both of them fresh they will find out who the best in the world really is. Next week, Cena is cashing in the briefcase against Punk. As for his huge announcement – Cena goes and smashes the case across the skull of Big Show.
It’s the end of an era tonight. It’s the last two hour RAW (until the three hour idea fails). There are going to be some changes to the way I handle these recaps in terms of format once the show gets into full swing. I will provide details next week on the 1000th episode edition.
Punk started thing off with the swell story of dropping a pipe bomb on the stage one year ago. The interaction between Show and Punk was a nice setup for their match later tonight. They were really telegraphing a Cena run in for later in the night, in a fashion that was far too obvious. It was so obvious that it was clear it was just a tease. I find that a dull storytelling technique that is going to get very tiring the longer the cash-in is drawn out. I don’t know if it’s because Cena holds the case or what, but I find it much more annoying this year than in the past. Granted it’s over next week, but you get my point.
The live mic on a manger during a match is idiotic. I was pretty convinced that the WWE gave up on this back when the Vickie Guerrero or the Beautiful People (I honestly can’t remember what Layla and Michelle McCool were called, oh yeah “LayCool” – the only tag team name that’s a command) kept doing it. The audience never gets into it and it annoys us at home. Please stop.
Ryder was fodder for a Rey return storyline, but there is nothing wrong with that. He doesn’t hurt for the showing and he gets out on RAW. Mysterio could do some big things on RAW if he can raise himself for the challenge. It’s a tall order to return from his shortcomings, but hopefully Rey can be the bigger man. He’s short, is what I’m alluding to with my imagery here.
Rikishi crushed Slater in moments, and looked like a solid piece of meat as he did so. The emergence of his sons with the lights out was a nice touch. I’m not a fan of the Usos, but I could appreciate how cool that moment was for the family.
Eve Torres makes me really happy. She looked great in her match tonight – and her ability looked pretty good too. The Bryan and AJ win was a clever trick that didn’t make the returning to RAW Miz look weak in the slightest. We had a wedding proposal from Bryan after the match with AJ accepted. Looks like we’re getting a wedding, folks! If I wasn’t so entertained, I’d probably be furious.
John Cena hit a milestone this past week – he won his 100th match of the year. How many matches did it take for him to hit that mark? 108. Yes, 108 matches. That statistic my friends is just one more reason I never pick against Cena in predictions. He’s like Tebow – all he does is win.
Jericho/Ziggler will probably be the last feud that Jericho has before he heads back out on tour. It’s an interesting combination that will no doubt end in Ziggler going over. I love face Jericho and given the fact that Ziggler is a heel, that should be what we get over the next couple of weeks. While I wouldn’t be shocked if it falls short, they definitely have my attention for now.
Amidst all of the AJ love as of late I think it is time for me to cash in on some bragging rights. I was the first person to ever make a sign for AJ in her wrestling career. That may seem farfetched but at the time she was wrestling in front of ten people as her moniker Miss April. I had the chance to meet her and decided what the hell I’m going to do something for this girl because she may never rise above the NJ Indy scene but she seems pretty cool. This pretty much makes me the coolest guy on earth. Deal with it.
Cena’s announcement regarding Money in the Bank was an interesting one. He isn’t taking the easy way out which I suppose is designed to try and gain respect from the audience. I don’t think that it will actually make a difference in terms of crowd reaction. This isn’t the first time that the MitB match was setup in advance. Cena may well remember his loss to RVD at ECW One Night Stand. While the odds are lower for Cena winning than if he cashed it in this week, I would be shocked to see him lose. I hope that he does, because I’m not ready for the end of Punk’s reign quite yet. But with The Rock present, I can see him coming out after Cena’s victory and challenging him for the title. We’ll have to see what happens.
Next week is going to be crazy!