Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it’s time for Monday Night RAW!
The show opens with a video recap of the CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/AJ love triangle.
AJ’s music hits and she makes her way down to the ring. She says that this Sunday in the WWE Championship match she will be the special guest referee. Her actions will greatly affect the outcome of the match. It’s a very difficult and emotional position for her. She introduces CM Punk.
Punk’s music hits and he strolls down to the ring. He addresses AJ by asking what she wants. AJ says that last week Punk said that she is mentally unstable and needs professional help, but she scoffs at the notion and says that she is in complete control at all times. The crowd chants *This Chick’s Crazy*. She starts to say that Punk has great eyes, and he fills her up with passion and desire. In essence, he turns her on. AJ drops to one knee. “CM Punk will you marry me?”
Daniel Bryan runs down to the ring screaming “No!”. He tells AJ that this will be the biggest mistake she ever makes, and he can’t allow it. Everyone knows that CM Punk doesn’t love her. He is just playing her because she is the special guest referee for their match. Punk only cares about himself. Punk says that Bryan doesn’t know the first thing about him, so he should shut up. Bryan says if he’s wrong, then Punk should say I do. Bryan says that while Punk sees her as a Special Guest Referee, he sees her as a special person. Bryan drops to one knee and proposes!
Punk interrupts and says that this is spur of the moment decision and not something Bryan had planned. He asks Bryan to produce the ring. He can’t, so they begin to argue.
*May I have your attention please*
Surprise! I’m back and running RAW tonight. I’ve enjoyed watching the love triangle and I think Punk and AJ make a great couple. So they will be in a mixed tag match against Vickie Guerrero and Daniel Bryan.
Bryan says that it isn’t fair and starts to scream.
*May I have your attention please*
Don’t feel too bad Bryan, if you win maybe AJ will see him in a different light, or maybe not. Either way, good luck.
AJ says that the proposals caught her by surprise, so she needs to go to the back and think. She believes that everything happens for a reason. She has a feeling that she is going to walk out of this arena with her future husband.
Sheamus v. Jack Swagger
Swagger takes him back but they get back to their feet. Swagger tries for the second rope drop, but Sheamus catches him and hits the Celtic Cross. Sheamus connects with the Brogue Kick and this match is over.
Winner via Brogue Kick: Sheamus
Alberto Del Rio appears on the Tron and says that this Sunday he is going to take the World Heavyweight Championship from Sheamus.
Santino is in the back with Zack Ryder. Santino says that the Anonymous GM is in the building tonight and he is making it his mission to find the GM. Santino dons his Sherlock gear and starts to search.
Dolph Ziggler & Tensai v. Tyson Kidd & Christian
Vickie is on commentary for this match. The match is underway as we come back to RAW and Tyson tags in Christian. He flies into the ring at Dolph and levels him with a clothesline. Tensai gets the tag and counters a Killswitch. Tensai runs into the turnbuckle and gets hit with a flying elbow. Tensai takes control and slams Christian down to the mat. Tensai hits a back splash, and this match is over.
Winners: Dolph Ziggler & Tyson Kidd
After the match, Tensai takes the attack to Tyson Kidd. He lifts him into the air and hits a Powerbomb on the apron! He follows with a back splash.
At ringside Cole and Lawler begin to argue about who would be the best GM. Whilst arguing, Cole accidentally splashes water on Lawler.
*And I quote*
At first, Cole refuses to read the message. Jerry walks over and starts to read instead. “Seeing Cole and Lawler bicker is bringing back great memories, so tonight in a WrestleMania rematch from my era as GM, Jerry Lawler will face Michael Cole”.
They argue amongst themselves and the GM hits again. He is going to let the WWE audience decide if they want the match to happen. To vote, log on to WWE.com.
Brodus Clay v. Drew McIntyre
Drew climbs to the top rope and leaps for a crossbody. Clay slams him down to the mat and quickly hits a front splash. This match is over before it starts.
Winner: Brodus Clay
# Santino is in the back and accuses Jericho of being the GM. Jericho says that how does he know that Santino isn’t using this as a ruse and he is the GM? Santino considers it for a moment and then walks away. Show walks into the shot and Jericho says that they used to be one of the greatest tag teams of all time. Show says that some of the most embarrassing moments of his career happened when he was in JeriShow. He tells Chris to stay out of his way and maybe he won’t knock him out.
John Cena’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. He says that Sunday at Money in the Bank he is going to climb the ladder and win. He puts over the PPV. The Money in the Bank match changes the landscape of the WWE. He begins to rundown his opponents and why he will beat them.
John Cena & Kane v. Big Show & Jericho
Cena and Jericho start the match off. Cena whips him into the corner and hits a bulldog. Show gets the tag. Cena dodges a couple of punches and tags in Kane. He backs Show into the corner and unloads with a series of punches. Show reverses and hits a big clothesline. Show connects with a big headbutt that sends Kane out of the ring. Back in the ring, Kane is whipped into the ropes and hit with a shoulder block. Jericho gets the tag and immediately walks into a punch. Cena gets the tag and suplexes Jericho. Chris whips Cena into the ropes and distracts the referee so Big Show can hit him with a cheap punch.
Back from the break, Show locks up with Cena and pushes him to the mat. He lifts him up and chops him hard across the chest. Show attempts a second, but Cena tries to lift him up for a scoop slam. Show’s weight falls on top of Cena for a pin. Cena kicks out but is quickly lifted up into a bear hug. Cena escapes and hits a side slam. Kane gets the tag and crushes Show into the corner. Kane hits a DDT and goes for the cover, but Show kicks out. Kane takes to the top rope and leaps for a lariat, but Show dodges and hits him with a spear instead!
Kane kicks out, and Jericho gets the tag. He takes Kane and puts him against the second rope to choke him out. Show takes a cheap shot at Kane on the apron.
Back from the break Kane is going after Jericho and tags in Cena. He hits a couple of shoulder blocks and signals for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Cena misses and Jericho tries for the Walls. Cena escapes and hits the AA! Show pulls him out of the ring on the cover and this match is ruled a DQ.
Winners: John Cena & Kane
After the match, Show grabs a ladder from under the ring. He puts in the ring and goes on the offensive. Cena grabs one of his own and clears the ring.
Eve Torres is in the back with Punk and says that she is worried about Punk. She says that AJ might go crazy if she doesn’t hear what she wants to tonight. Eve puts over Punk’s title reign and then says that AJ must emasculate Punk.
Santino is in the back and finds a cell phone. He says that it must be the RAW Anonymous GM’s. Khali walks up and picks up the phone. Santino asks if he is the GM, but Khali gives him the run around.
Sin Cara v. Heath Slater
Cara bounces off the ropes, but gets hit with a shoulder and covered. Cara kicks out. Slater hits a scoop slam and then gets behind him and locks on a rear headlock. Cara flies into the ring with a clothesline. He hits La Mistica and this match is over.
Winner: Sin Cara
As a result of this match, Sin Cara has qualified for the Smackdown Money in the Bank Ladder Match.
After the match Heath Slater gets on the mic and says that he will beat any past Champion. Bob Backlund’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring! Bob Backlund!
Heath Slater v. Bob Backlund
Slater extends his hand for a shake and Bob accepts, and then punches Bob in the head. Backlund gets behind Slater and locks in a Chickenwing Crossface!
Winner: Bob Backlund
There was no referee, so the last match was not official.
Michael Cole stands up to reveal the poll results of whether or not there should be a match between he and Lawler. It was 75% in favor of a match. Cole tells the fans that they are hypocrites.
Michael Cole v. Jerry Lawler
Cole tries to escape, so Booker T throws him back into the ring. Lawler picks up Cole for an airplane spin and then goes for a cover. This match is over.
Winner: Jerry Lawler
Josh Mathews and Booker T were on commentary for this match, so Mathews takes to the podium when the Anonymous GM flickers. He announces that since Booker T interfered, Cole is being declared the winner.
Santino comes out and says that he has had enough. He has come to the conclusion that if the GM is here tonight, the only place he can be is under the ring, because he has checked everywhere else. Mathews reads that no he is not. There is absolutely no one under the ring, so leave now.
Santino looks under the ring and starts to get dragged under. Hornswoggle comes tumbling out. Lawler asks if ‘swoggle is the one causing all of this misery. He shakes his head yes. Then he goes after everyone and clears the ring.
CM Punk & AJ v. Daniel Bryan & Eve Torres
Punk and Bryan start the match. They exchange blows and Bryan takes an overhead tumble. Bryan charges at Punk and connects with a couple of knees. Punk whips him into the ropes and hits a spinning heel kick.
Eve gets the tag so AJ is brought into the ring. AJ gets on top of Eve, but it quickly pushed back and into the corner. She fights her way free, but gets caught with a punch and spear. Eve connects with a front headlock and then throws AJ down to the mat hard. Eve tries for a summersault, but AJ gets her knees up. She charges at Eve in the corner and connects with a knee and spinning heel kick. AJ keeps her from making a tag, but then gets kicked away. Eve tries to tag in Bryan, but he backs away. AJ goes for the roll up, and this match is over.
Winners: AJ & Punk
Bryan gets on the mic and says that he just proved that she means more to him than any match. Punk says that he’ll lay it all on the line right now because he doesn’t care if it costs him the match at MitB and his Championship. The fact is that he is not going to marry AJ. If Punk saying that hurts her, then he is sorry. But at least he cares enough about her to tell her the truth. AJ walks up to Punk and slaps him across the face. Bryan tells AJ to come home. AJ walks over… and slaps him too! AJ closes the show with a series of Yes chants in the ring and then skips her way to the back.
Well, this was a bizarre episode of RAW. It opened with perhaps one of the worst yet interestingly good segments I’ve seen in a long time. Tonight was one of those nights where I found myself watching RAW with other people for the first half and it was difficult to explain why I do what I do when that ridiculous melodramatic angle was playing out to kick off the show. Someone said I needed to find a new hobby, and it was hard to disagree. The show seemed to pick up from that segment and turn into at least a more manageable show. The proposals were shocking, and highly effective.
Anyone ever notice that CM Punk looks a bit like George Carlin?
I’m not too into the Sheamus/Del Rio storyline at the moment. I just no longer feel all that engaged in Alberto Del Rio as a character or wrestler. They never capitalized on the whole destiny gimmick, so I found myself at a lack for caring.
I’m very happy that Tyson Kidd is getting a bit of a push. I doubt he’ll win the ladder match, but he’s one of the nicest guys in wrestling at the moment and he deserves all of the good things that come his way. If nothing else, his skill level is present.
Tensai is just a waste. I get that HHH/Vince are high on him, but he has yet to do anything to stimulate my interest.
The JeriShow reunion was lackluster at best. I’m glad they prefaced it with a backstage segment, but it didn’t really deliver for me. I was hoping they would at least enter together, but no luck.
Kane looks like he lost weight.
I was pretty shocked to see Bob Backlund. He looked surprisingly good, but his old school style doesn’t really jive with the present WWE. Nonetheless, it was a pleasure to see one of the greatest of all time.
Cole and Lawler was what it should have been the first time – less than 30 seconds.
AJ/Bryan/Punk/Eve was pretty straightforward. Bryan obviously tried to win over AJ but failed. They decided to leave it up in the air as to who AJ would ultimately support which is a good thing leading into the PPV. Though, based on the events of tonight, I’d have to lean towards Punk winning the Championship.
Before I go, I have to say that Hornswoggle as the Anonymous GM is a bit disappointing. I love ‘swoggle and all… but REALLY??? Lame.
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.